Busted Cruising In Car Pool Lane With Sex Doll Riding Shotgun

I grew up in Southern California but spent a lot of my childhood visiting family throughout Arizona. Thanks to a couple prestigious universities that also happened to be well-known party schools, the state has experienced very rapid growth over the last few decades. For whatever reason, many of the people who move there to attend their backup college decide to stay.

This is at least my personal opinion as to why the traffic has gotten so bad in big cities like Phoenix.

The rapidly growing population throughout Arizona combined with the fact that average temperatures equal those of the sun’s surface make being stuck in Phoenix traffic especially brutal. With everyone trying their best to wiggle through the congestion as quickly as possible, it’s only inventible that some of them will resort to less than ethical driving practices. Like using a sex doll to travel in an HOV lane while traveling alone. Hmm!

This was apparently what one Phoenix motorist resorted to when he was busted with a life-size doll resembling a sexy woman in the passenger seat of his car. Maybe he was just trying to take it on a nice date?

A while back we read about a community of sex doll enthusiasts in Japan who were so in love with their sex dolls, that they bought them expensive gifts and took them on dates. One such man was so attached to his doll that he chose to sleep in a bed with it instead of his own wife. When asked why, he claimed the doll provided him with a level of emotional support that his fleshy wife couldn’t.

Over the last year I’ve read dozens of stories about sex dolls, robots, and even people who wanted to be them. All these articles narrowed in on the idea that we may be facing a future where men and women may choose to take artificial sexual partners instead of human ones. The reasons vary between either for convenience or out of necessity, but this man from Arizona and his newly acquired traffic citation raise an interesting point.

Choosing a sex doll over a human companion won’t help you beat traffic.

Via kgun9.com

Image: Alicia Amira in There’s A Porn Star In My Car! by Brazzers

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Masturbation Roll

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Fap Along with Harlot: Ava is Devine

I’ve recently reconnected with one of my old friends. He and I basically keep each other company all day while we’re working at our day jobs. The fact that he’s a super kinky ultra perv makes the conversations flow like cum out of a stiff cock.

The other day, he was watching some PornHub on his lunch break. He hit me up and said, “You know who is an under appreciated pornstar? Ava Devine.”

I never considered myself a connoisseur of her work, so I ran over to the site to check some out. My friend is totally right, she’s pretty amazing. Are you Peepz ready to jump on the Ava Devine bandwagon? Grab the lube and let’s fap!

When you put two MILFs in a bubble bath, you’re going to end up with an erection. Ava Devine joins hardbodied super babe Brandi Mae in this first clip. The ladies soak up the suds and get down to business flexing their muscles in the sexiest ways possible.

You’re not going to hear much of Ava’s signature dirty talking in this video mostly because she has two cocks stuffed down her throat the whole time. This New York native can deepthroat like a pro and if you’re into noisy, sloppy BJ’s you’re going to be cumming quick.

Sara Jay is my idol. She stays 100% in the game at all times, making sure all her partners are satisfied. She double teams a hard cock with Ava and the ladies barely come up for air.

It’s getting hot in the kitchen and Ava is ready to get stuffed. She’s dressed up like a maid and her beefy employer can’t help but stroke his thick rod to her tits. His apron might keep the grease off his dick, but it gets slippery with Ava’s pussy in no time.

I saved a clip of Ava and Puma Swede for last. The two ladies are hungry for some pizza and Puma delivers with her strap on dick in a box. A nice touch is that the pizza box actually has grease on the inside of it…so you know someone had to gobble that up before the porno filming started.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. Are you a fan of Ava’s? Let me know in the comments below or hit me up on twitter.

Image: Ava Devine in This MILF Likes it Dirty by Brazzers

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If Sex With Extraterrestrials Is So Great, Why Do We Only Hear About Anal Probing?

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Rihanna’s Lingerie Line Can Do No Wrong

I am so fucking excited about Rihanna’s Savage X Fenty Lingerie line. Upon launch, I picked up a few choice pieces for my own drawer of sexy things. After her New York Fashion week debut, it seems that I’m going to have to open my wallet a little bit more.

The most amazing thing about the lingerie line is how inclusive it has been since jump. There are so many sexy women out there who have a hard time finding quality lingerie that fits them right. Rihanna saw that gap in the market and filled it up with all sorts of negligee that anyone can wear. It doesn’t matter if you’re lounging in your cotton undies on a Sunday morning, or looking to spice things up after hours in your bedroom. She’s ready for you with plenty of options.

You ready to see this looks, Peepz? Cause I haven’t stopped staring since I discovered them.

I love that Rihanna uses models that are outside the box. Pregnant, BBW, persons of color, femme, butch…she’s got everyone covered. It was such a fucking diverse show in every aspect. Rather than being about a specific type of woman being sexy, she is really trying to encompass all women. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful and if smiling at yourself in the mirror in a cheeky pair of undies makes you feel good about yourself, I say, “Let them eat cake.”

As Savage X Fenty continues to grow, the options are only going to get more plentiful. I can’t wait to see what she has in store next season.

You can watch the entire lingerie fest from start to finish here. Grab some popcorn and enjoy
yourselves!

Shop the Savage X Fenty collection here…treat yourself or someone you love.

Source and Images: buzzfeed

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Position is Everything in Bed

Cop Shoots Amateur Porn With Body Cam

Another cop is getting his dick wet on the job, Peepz. Surprise, surprise

Anthony Doran, a police officer in Arizona, was snagged for fucking fucking on the job. He was in his office, wearing his uniform and decided to get it on with a woman. Recording the encounter with his body camera was probably not the smartest thing to do. When you feel untouchable and above the law though, you do some crazy shit.

This is another case of porno fantasy becoming a reality gone wrong.

Here’s a clip of some cop on the job action from Zoey Monroe. She’s hella aggressive, which is a bit of a switch.

Doran has been in trouble with the law before. Last year deputies discovered 35 gigs of porno on his work computer. In a hilarious move that screams 2004 to me, he named the desktop folder “fun time” because, you know…jerking off instead of investigating crime is fun. I don’t even understand why you would need to download porno on your office computer when you can download the PornHub app, stuff some headphones in your ears and watch from the privacy of your phone.

In a 2013 incident, this guy was repremanded for feeling up a chick and sending “explicit” text messages while he was on duty.

Ummm…

Why does this guy have a job?

If I got caught with porno on my work computer, I’d be straight up fired. If my boss caught me filming amateur porno while I was sitting at my desk, I’d be fired.

That’s why you have to be careful when you do this shit. Don’t expect to be untouchable. Cover your tracks, think smart…and don’t save the evidence on a computer that never leaves the building.

If my external hard drives could talk, I’d be out on my ass and fired from every day job I’ve had since 2003. Fuck that. Don’t take chances when you’re messing with your money. A cop’s pension is no joke.

Source: ABC 7 Chicago

Image: Mercedes Carrera by Cock Out Cop Out by Reality Kings

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First Porn Filmed Using Sex Robot Performers

Pornography has always been a catalyst for technological advancement. The home entertainment industry is a popular example. During the videotape format wars of the late 70s, one of the deciding factors for VHS was gaining support of the adult film industry. Thanks to porn being distributed almost exclusively on their rival’s format, Sony’s Betamax was forced to concede.

Now, the porn industry may be set to take another fledgling technology into the spotlight: sex robots.

A European adult film studio filmed the first commercial porn featuring a performer having sex with a sex robot. The plot is basically about a woman discovering her boyfriend having sex with the advanced fuckable technology that was provided by Lumidolls, one of a few companies currently working on such devices.

With the industry always striving to stay relevant in mainstream culture, shooting porn featuring animatronic sex dolls is an interesting move. Could we be seeing a glimpse of a not too distant future where robots have replaced human performers? Probably not, but it is a great way for Lumidolls to advertise their products.

Afterall if it’s good enough for porn then it’s good enough for anybody.

Humanity has dreamed about sex robots since about the same time somebody came up with regular robots. We recently read about one company’s prototype fuckbot being brutally abused by the curious public at a technology festival in Austria. The robot, named Samantha, was a silicone sex doll with an array of sensors and servos that let it interact with people. However, the device is more of a proof of concept and wasn’t prepared for the hundreds of festival attendees that grabbed and fingered its delicate components resulting in thousands of dollars in damage. Oops.

Much like Samantha, the device featured in the yet to be named video is less a fully functioning robot programmed to please humans and more a Teddy Ruxpin with a rubber vagina. It’s a high-quality sex doll with a few other gizmos that enhance the experience of having sex with 100 pounds of flesh colored silicone.

I’m not saying that I wouldn’t still fuck one. I’m just adamantly against early adopting any kind of technology. If I were to muster the funds to buy a sex robot I’d just feel horrible a few months later when an even faster model comes out with integrated Wi-Fi and more advanced security features.

Via thescottishsun.co.uk

Image: Jessa Rhodes in Power Bangers: A XXX Parody Part 2 by Brazzers

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Masturbation Roll

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Fap Along With Harlot: Red and Ready

The FBI in the United States just uncovered a pair of original ruby red slippers from the Wizard of Oz. They were stolen from a museum in Minnesota in 2005 and it’s obviously taken forever for them to find the shoes. It’s one of those feel good stories released into the media to make the public smile for a few seconds before we continue to scroll.

The ruby red slippers got me thinking about brilliantly red striper heels, which brought me down a PornHub rabbit hole of crimson. I’m not one to let a porno hole slide by, so I pulled some of the hottest of the hot to share with my favorite pervert Peez…that would be you.

Ready to get down to business? Grab a towel for a quick clean up and let’s start fapping.

This first clip is an interracial threesome that starts off with a beautiful black woman in a red dress. She gets manhandled by two stellar cocks and rides their dicks until they are jizzing in the air and all over her face.

Madelyn Monroe is a blast on set. She tools around in a tiny car in a skimpy red shirt and laughs while she’s driving in circles. Her tits come up rather quickly and that’s when the real fun starts.

When Arielle Faye is looking to fuck, she hops on the Internet to find a stud to take care of her needs. She’s a tease from the top of her head to the bottom of her bitch red platform shoes. When the sex session starts, she realizes that her new fuck buddy is into a touch of the rough stuff.

Sara Jay is one of the hottest MILFs in the business. She tops big booty blonde Betty Bang in a pair of red pumps and a flashy latex dress. I’m in love with the way she fucks and spanks. She only gets better with age.

I’m totally going out on a limb for this last clip but it was too hot not to show you. Nikki Benz is wearing a crocheted red dress for like 30 seconds before she strips down to fuck Abella Danger and Seth Gamble. It’s super wet and sexy enough to drive me right over the edge into Orgasm Town.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. If you’d like a Fap Along list of your very own, hit me up in the comments below, or get in touch on twitter.

Image: Victoria June in Secret Feetish by Reality Kings

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Is That The CN Tower In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy To See Us?

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

As I’d guess is the case with most Americans, there is a great deal more I don’t know about Canada than there is stuff I know about Canada.

In fact, my ignorance of Canada is so comprehensive, I can list everything I know about the country in a brief series of bullet points:

• Everywhere I’ve visited there (a designation which only encompasses Montreal, Toronto and parts of the country which abut the ALCAN Highway) has been quite beautiful.
• A lot of Canadians really like hockey.
• Maple syrup…. So much maple syrup.
• Their Rush, while admittedly not entirely my cup of tea, still is vastly superior to our Rush.

As you can see, that’s not much Canada-knowledge. On the bright side, this means each new fact I learn about Canada represents a substantial growth in my Great White North knowledge base.

I’m Pleased To Report A 25% Increase In My Canada-Knowledge

Earlier today, I learned a new fact about Canada by reading a news story on the Internet – which means in a single click, I achieved an impressive 25% boost to my overall Canada-knowledge!

What I learned wasn’t exactly an essential cultural, historical or geographical fact, but I still found it interesting: A “sex doll brothel” is opening in Toronto.

I’ll admit, I was confused at first glance. Who would build a brothel expecting dolls to show up and hire sex workers? I thought to myself.

But then it dawned on me (well, OK – then I scrolled down): This is a brothel in which the sex workers are sex dolls.

Clearly, in addition to needing an education on Canada, I may also be a bit confused as to how brothels work. Oh well, that’s why newspapers and news sites exist, right? Not to educate me about Canada and brothels, I mean, but generally to inform us all.

Honestly, I Might Prefer Bumping Into A Single Person

One thing I learned about sex doll brothels in this article (or about this sex doll brothel, at least) is that they aren’t likely to create very many jobs for humans.

Claire Lee, who is identified as the marketing director of the Aura Dolls brothel, said customers will interact only with dolls when they visit the brothel.

“They put their payment down on the counter and they go straight to their room,” Lee said. “They’ll probably not bump into a single person.”

You know, now that she mentions it, I hope Aura’s customers won’t bump into any married persons, either.

“We don’t have staff there, just a camera,” Lee added. “The payment is taken at the beginning, you go into the room, do your time and just leave.”

Wait, wait, wait – what do you mean “just a camera”? And what’s all this about ‘doing’ my time?

Frankly, this is starting to sound less like a brothel and more like a prison for sex dolls wherein the warden charges people for the service of filming their conjugal visits.

Let’s Hear More About This “Three-Step Routine”

Relating additional details which I think are supposed to put readers at ease, City News further reports that the company running the brothel “also encourages the use of lube and condoms and said the dolls will be cleaned after each customer using a three-step routine to get them as clean as possible.”

Is it just me, or does a three-step routine sound like it might be insufficient to disinfect a silicon sex doll? I’m not saying it is insufficient, just that before I put my faith in its efficacy, I’d want to know more about the three steps involved. For example, does one or more of these steps involve the use of fire?

The more I think about it, maybe I didn’t learn something new about Canada in reading this article, so much as I came away with more questions than ever about used erotica.

Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:

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Yet Another Sex Toy Lost To The Void Requires Hospital Visit

Cautionary tales are the cornerstone of modern civilization. Learning from the mistakes of our forefathers is an important part of being a responsible member of the human race. As such I think it vital to our advancement as a species to make fun of people who get sex toys stuck in their rectum.

This isn’t to say anal play is a mistake. It’s one of the most fun things you can do with an anus however you do have to be careful with what you stick in there. Once you graduate from a finger or two to something more substantial, you have to start considering the point of no return. Otherwise you might end up in the news for losing track of a 23-inch sex toy in your guts.

This isn’t the first time we’ve talked about such an incident on this website, and had a 31-year-old man from Italy been an avid Peeperz reader he may not have made the same mistake. After losing nearly two feet of sex toy in his anus, the unidentified man spent 24 hours trying to remove it himself before giving up and going to a hospital.

After performing an x-ray doctors determined that the man was relatively lucky as he hadn’t damaged any of his organs. Others haven’t been as lucky.

A while back we read about a man from England who “lost control” of a 30-inch sex toy he was stuffing up his butt and the damage it caused turned out to be life threatening. After puncturing his bowel in pursuit of an orgasm doctors had to perform life-saving surgery on the man. After successfully repairing the perforation in his bowel, his lengthy recovery included a feeding tube and colostomy bag.

Fortunately for the anonymous patient in Italy, clever use of medical tools was able to do the trick without any surgery.

After confirming the man hadn’t suffered any serious injuries doctors were left with the not so simple task of removing the toy from his rectum. Using some Italian ingenuity, doctors fashioned a noose out of some wire and a catheter that they were able to get around the sex toy. After putting their lasso-like device around the object, they tightened it and were able to safely pull the sex toy out.

It’s probably exactly how MacGyver would get a 23-inch sex toy out of his own butt.

After treating the man for a thoroughly gaped butthole and some slight abdominal cramping, they returned his sex toy and sent him home. Hopefully he will be a little bit wiser about how he uses it in the future- as will anyone who reads this.

Via mirror.co.uk

Image: Lennox Luxe in Emergency Titty Fuck by Brazzers

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Sex with Your Ex…To Fuck or Not to Fuck

One of my friends keeps recycling her old relationships. She claims it’s strictly for the sex, but knowing her, I feel like it’s actually a deep rooted need for emotional attachment. My issue with the whole situation is she ends up with a painfully emotional breakup over and over again. It’s tiring for me and damaging for her. I wish she’d learn and take a step back from these dudes.

You know, learning from your mistakes and shit.

Does the fact that I am totally over picking up her pieces make me a shitty friend? She is only fooling herself when she claims that it’s only sex. I understand that it’s comforting to get it on with someone you are already comfortable with. The other side of the coin is that the relationships are very repetitive and end because she can’t keep herself emotionally detached. It’s a vicious cycle of self loathing that makes me avoid her phone calls when things start going downhill.

Single Harlot was a bridge burner. If things weren’t working out with one of my blowjob boys and I, it was done. There was usually a 2 blowjob leeway. Piss me off once when I’m sucking your dick and we can have a conversation about it afterwards. You can apologize and we can move past it. If it happens twice, I’m done with your dick.

Maybe it’s because of the nature of my relationships that I had few issues with my lovers letting me go. There’s one guy that I used to blow who still emails me looking for attention. I haven’t touched a dick in like 5 years, I think but I definitely haven’t touched his particular dick in at least 8. I’ve tried being nice to him and telling him I wasn’t interested…I tried being a cunt faced bitch to him…I tried ghosting him…Dude is just not getting the hint.

If I haven’t emailed you back in over 5 years I don’t want to talk to you anymore. Take the hint. The person you are banging doesn’t owe you anything. Should they be honest with you about how they are feeling? Yes, but if they aren’t, it’s whatever…fuck them. Move on.

I don’t even consider those people my exs though. Is it really an ex if it’s just a hookup?

What do you Peepz think? Do you recycle your ex partners? Do you count your fuck buddies as your ex’s?

Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter…as long as you aren’t that guy that won’t take the hint.

Image: Eliza Ibarra in Cucked at the Carnival by Brazzers

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Masturbation Roll

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Fap Along With Harlot: Reality Kings

Peepz! It is my favorite time of the week…masturbation time! This time around, I have pulled together a list of five Reality Kings clips for us to enjoy just because I’ve been hooked on them for the last day or so.

I’ve honestly been enjoying these clips so much that I had to get extra towels out of the linen closet. There’s now a huge puddle on my couch and my wife is probably going to kill me when she gets home.

Are you ready to start fapping? Grab your nearest bottle of lube and some tissues to clean up after yourself, because this is going to be a messy one.

Let’s get started with some girl on girl strap on lovin’. This is an old school Brooke Belle clip that is sure to get you hot and bothered no matter what you’re in the mood for. The hot blondes have an instant attraction and chemistry that is undeniable.

Shae Summers gets a slow, sensual massage in this next clip. She is covered in oil and keeps her eyes closed while she’s being touched at first. By the time she’s ready for cock, she has that wide-eyed look that makes you want to rip your clothes off.

Brunette Puerto Rican amateur Ava Kelly breaks into the business in a big way. She gets convinced by her cameramen to take some cash in exchange for the use of her house and her pussy.

Going to the mall is boring as fuck. Wouldn’t you rather get fucked by a hot chick in a hotel? This guy’s game is lame and totally off but the end result does not disappoint one bit. It’s a Gonzo style sex fest for sure.

Harley Dean is a 20-year-old goddess who goes from twirking on the beach to licking in the sheets. She’s feisty with her banter and gives zero fucks about stripping down to plant her puss on the face of her on-screen fuck boy.

That’s all for this week Peepz. If you’d like a Fap Along list of your very own, hit me up in the comments below or get in touch on twitter.

Image: Bonnie Rotten in Rotten Experience at the Strip Club by Reality Kings

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I Like The Idea, But The Branding Needs Work

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Finger Bang at the Chiropractor’s Office

My back is all sorts of fucked up. It’s not because I’m slowly climbing my way into Cougar territory…well, I mean…it probably is, but I do entirely too much sitting at my day job. I guess it’s better than all of the masturbating that I did at my last day job.

No.
Wait.
That’s a lie.

Being a sneaky bitch and masturbating at work is still something that I do.

Anyway. My wife and I decided to make chiropractor appointments so last Saturday. The receptionist let us both into the exam room but then chaos broke out. Some chick bust into the office was was like, “OMG Doctor Whatever the fuck! My husband woke up and he can’t move. He’s in the car but his hip got stuck! Blah!”

The doctor ran outside, the receptionist ran outside and suddenly we found ourselves in an exam room with no one in the office.

What are two pervy ladies to do in such a situation?

They bang quick, fast, in a hurry.

She closed the exam room door and gave me a little push so that I was sitting on the exam table. We kissed while our hands started grabbing for each other. I unzipped her pants, she ran her hand up my skirt to my clit and started doing her magic.

There was no way that I was going to be able to make her cum in the extremely short amount of time that we had, so she told me to zip her pants back up and enjoy the ride.

It had only been a few minutes, and we started hearing the commotion come back into the office beyond our closed door.

“Make me fucking cum,” I commanded.

Her fingers moved faster on my clit, and she started using her other hand to work my fuck hole.

“Yes,” I moaned into her mouth and my pussy started pulsing around her fingers.

We smiled at each other and she backed away from my body to wash her hands in the sink.

It took another 10 minutes for the doctor to come in and see us, so it turns out that we didn’t have to rush. It definitely makes for a better story that we did though.

Image: Penny Pax in Straightening Her Out by Brazzers

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Public Sex OK in Guadalajara

If I have anything to say about it, my wife and I will be vacationing in Guadalajara, Mexico next. A place where you can fuck in public without fearing arrest? I mean, come on. That basically has my name all over it.

There’s a new law on the books that says it’s cool to get sexually physical in public under the right circumstances.

The major reason why the Policing and Good Government Code modification was passed is because of crooked cops. It is fairly common for the police in the town to catch a couple going at it and then extort a bribe out of them in exchange for looking the other way. Everyone wants to avoid arrest, so the people would pay…making the cops richer and the sexually adventurous people poorer.

Fuck that, I say.

The new law now requires that the public sex can get a pass, as long as no private citizens have complained. If someone is put off by the sex, then the people participating will be detained by the police. That I can understand. If you’re fucking in the middle of the road, not everyone is going to be cool with watching. You have people in the area who haven’t consented to seeing your perversion. The sneaky fucking cops were just randomly catching people in alleys where no one could see. That’s how they’d make bank.

When you don’t have a private place to fuck, like a hotel or even a house, you take to the great outdoors in order to find some privacy. The whole point of this groundbreaking law is to provide a safe haven to people who aren’t bothering anyone. Some people who were forced to hand over money in exchange for staying out of jail weren’t even actually fucking, they were making out. The cops would stretch the truth to line their pockets.

It’s going to be interesting to see how the newly written law works out. Will people take advantage of the situation and cause lawmakers to regret their decision? I really hope not. It would be a shame for such a forward thinking piece of legislation to be overturned.

For now though, I’m going to start researching travel to Guadalajara. I’m sure my wife and I will be able to find some kind of vacant lot with our names all over it.

Here’s a FantasyHD clip from PornHub of a couple getting frisky in a laundry mat. It’s not something that I would do if I was on vacation, but if I was living there all the time, you best believe that no public space would be safe.

Source: ABC News

Image: Diamond Kitty and Phoenix Marie in Public Fucking in the Stretch Limo by Brazzers

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Bonnie Rotten’s Cumback Dropped and I’m Psyched

I’ve been excited about this moment for months, Peepz. Bonnie Rotten is back with an exclusive Brazzers contract and she’s about to plow her way through a year’s worth of content. When I saw that Brazzers had finally dropped a trailer, I had to leave my desk at work and head to the bathroom with my headphones so that I could check out the goods.

My twitter DMs have been buzzing about this lady since my last post about her triumphant return and now that it is upon us, I don’t think it’s going to stop.

Here’s the SFW trailer Brazzers posted on Youtube just to give you a little taste:

Are you as psyched as I am to watch this dirty girl get filthy again? I’m loving her blonde hair and the sassy look that she always throws the camera when she is about to say something obnoxiously sexy.

She’s performed for Brazzers before, but this time around, she’s upping her intensity and her pussy is going in for the kill. Doing a DP her first scene back? That’s unheard of…but it’s also exactly what I’ve been missing from my porno diet.

Here’s a 10 minute clip that from the Cumback video that they posted on PornHub for all of us to enjoy on PornHub. I’d totally suggest you head over to the Brazzers website to see the whole shabang though. It’s totally worth every penny.

What do you Peepz think? Have you shot your load over Bonnie recently? Let me know in the comments!!

Image: Bonnie Rotten the Cumback by Brazzers

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Pole Dancing Your Way to an Education

I’ve taken a few pole dancing lessons. It’s a really good workout and, as long as you don’t mind making a fool of yourself and possibly hitting your head, it was totally a blast. I was absolutely terrible at it, but laughing with my partner makes every experience an enjoyable one.

Pole dancing is fucking hard, especially if you are as out of shape as I was at the time.

I never had any doubts in my mind that pole dancers are incredibly athletic. You’ve got to be at the top of your game and hella muscular in order to swing your body around a shiny, stationary object. Dancers have amazingly fit legs and are able to hold up their entire body weight with their arms…sometimes with just one hand.

Need more convincing?

Here’s a YouTube clip of Anastasia Sokolova pole dancing with the ocean as her backdrop. It’s crazy sexy and very impressive:

Intense, right? Her legs would crush steel.

The principal at Xinshhui Kindergarten in Shenzen, China decided it would be a good idea to hire a pole dancer for their orientation. As in the student’s orientation, not the teachers. Parents obviously freaked the fuck out when the dancer started performing while the kids didn’t really seem to know what was going on. Here’s a video of the event going down:

The principal defended her actions explaining that pole dancing is good exercise.

That is totally true. But I feel like the dancer could have modified their routine and attire to make it a bit more family friendly.

Am I being a prude about this, Peepz? My bff said that I’m being a prude because no one got naked. I feel like the pole dancing in the clip was more of the stripper type of pole dancing than the fitness kind.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below or troll me over on twitter if you want to keep the convo discrete.

Image: Jenna Presley in Learnin Pole Tricks for Cock by Brazzers

Source: CNN

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Fap Along With Harlot: Beautiful Brits

Hello Peepz! My twitter DM’s have been fairly active lately and I love it. There are so many of you with completely perverse ideas for Fap Alongs so I’m slowly making my way through them. One of you noticed that I had somehow neglected to put together a list of British babes getting fucked so I decided to remedy the situation. Since I’m waiting on my boss to get back from her holiday abroad, I figured now is as good a time as any to put one together.

You ready to go? Pull out your favorite fuck sock and let’s fap!

Sophie Dee is one of my favorite British porn stars. She loves batting her eyelashes and giving her viewers at home exactly what we’re craving. In this clip, she chokes on cock for a bit before she gets her oiled up butthole plowed.

If you’re in the mood for a puffy pussy, look no further than the snatch of Harmony Reigns. She’s a saucy Londoner with DD’s that look amazing, especially when she’s bouncing on a thick dick. In this Evil Angel clip, she goes through all the standard positions, but my favorite is when she leans back when she’s going for a ride.

Blonde bombshell Savannah Gold gets filthy on a billiards table in this next video. It’s the perfect height for cock sucking and that’s exactly what this British minx does best.

Hot mom Jasmine Jae wants her pipes cleaned out by the plumber. After she splashes a bit of water around, she gets her way with a hot sick of beef straight down her throat.

Samantha Bentley admits that she gets pleasure from giving pleasure. She’s a sassy pornstar who has few limits when it comes to bedroom activities and that’s just how she likes it. The nastier the play, the more she’s into it. In this last video, you’re going to witness just how freaky she likes to get.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. I hope you enjoyed the ride. If you’d like a Fap Along list of your own, hit me up in the comments below, or get in touch on twitter to tell me all your dirty secrets.

Image: Harmony Reigns in Little British Cock Whore by Brazzers

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Have You Met My Partner?

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Toronto To Get North America’s First Sex Doll Brothel

As someone who has masturbated using all manner of techniques and sex toys, full size silicone dolls really intrigue me. The high cost of ownership however quickly drenches the fires of my curiosity. Plus, how would you even store something like that when you aren’t using it?

Whenever I travel for a couple of days I worry about somebody stumbling upon one of my normal sex toys. The idea of trying to hide a human-sized fuck doll would give me all kinds of anxiety. Maybe if they made one that transformed into a flesh colored chair that I could hide in plain sight, but realistically there’s little chance I’ll ever get to try a fuck doll.

Unless I traveled to Toronto’s new sex doll brothel.

Canada’s biggest city is set to get North America’s first brothel that specializes in renting sex dolls by the hour. With the prospect of trying ketchup chips, Nanaimo bars, and fucking a life-sized silicone doll in a single trip, Toronto may be the destination for my next vacation.

The last sex doll brothel we read about was opened in France earlier this year. The businesses are popular in Europe were fluctuating prostitution laws make running a conventional brothel difficult. Rather than try to fight the red tape and constantly file for new permits and licenses, many entrepreneurs find it easier to just buy a few high-end sex dolls rent them out.

For Aura Dolls in Toronto, the idea is to cash in on the convince of their location and people’s curiosity by starting the first business of its kind in North America.

The brothel will open in a shopping plaza in one of the city’s booming commercial districts. According to their website they have six different dolls to choose from with rates as low as $80 for a half hour with one doll to $480 for four hours.

What someone would do with a rented sex doll for four hours is honestly beyond my imagination but I’m damn proud of Canada for making it possible.

According to a spokesperson for the city of Toronto, the business has yet to file for the proper license which may be a problem for Aura Dolls. A local councilor went on record as stating the city would be throwing every legal option possible at the owners to prevent them from opening a sex doll brothel. This opposition really confuses me.

So long as they also invest in a high-pressure steam washer to keep the inside of their dolls clean and sanitary, it sounds like a sex doll brothel wouldn’t hurt anybody. Having the first one in the continent could even boost tourism.

Via thestar.com

Image: Jessica Jaymes in I Am Not A Robot 2 by Brazzers

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Man Gets Finger Stuck In Vending Machine Reaching For Sex Toy

One of the hallmark disappointments of my youth was opening a box of cereal only to find the promised toy inside was missing. Before the advent of advanced quality assurance robots, it wasn’t uncommon for them to leave the factory without one. Being the youngest also lessened my chances of getting first crack at that Captain Crunch decoder ring but regardless of the reason, few things burn as uniquely in adulthood as missing out such a prize.

Having a vending machine fail to drop a sex toy you paid for might come close.

This was the problem a Chinese man identified only as Zhu encountered when he paid for a sex toy from a vending machine, but it failed to drop down. Where most people would have shrugged it off and walked away, Zhu wasn’t about to let the machine get away with stealing his money and his prize.

After the machine’s customer service representatives were unable to help him retrieve his purchase, he decided to stick his fingers inside to fish it out himself. Unfortunately for Zhu, his hand became wedged inside the machine and he was left with his fingers stuck in a sex toy vending machine. Oops.

When emergency services arrived, they used a cutting wheel to remove a section of paneling on the machine that was trapping the man’s fingers. In total he spent about 20 minutes stuck inside the machine although he didn’t suffer any serious injuries. Hopefully he managed to retrieve his sex toy since they went through the trouble of cutting it open.

Frankly the most interesting part of this story is that other countries have sex toy vending machines.

In the United States we call sex toys novelties and we can only buy them online or from a sex shop. For anyone super concerned with privacy neither option is ideal, especially if the website you buy your pocket pussies or vibrators from uses less than discrete packaging.

Vending machines seem like the ultimate convenience for someone on the go who really wants to fuck a palm sized glob of silicone without anybody else knowing about it- at least so long as the machine drops your purchase correctly.

Via dailymail.co.uk

Image: Juelz Ventura in Fucking the Vending Machine Dude by Brazzers

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When it’s too Hot to Bang

Sex in the summer can be sticky and complicated. As much as I love stroking my wife’s clit in the great outdoors, when it’s super humid outside the last thing on my mind is sliding my hand into the hottest part of her body.

We’ve been searching around on the Internet to try and figure out ways to beat the heat while still getting steamy. Luckily, she came across this list of ways to fuck in the summer time that was compiled by Refinery29 writer Kasandra Brabaw. She did all the leg work so that all I had to do was skim through the slideshow, pull out her six suggestions and make good use of it on my lady.

I’m about to drop some knowledge on you, Peepz. You can thank me later.

1. Have sex in water!
Long time Peepz will know that this is always my favorite option. I’m basically a mermaid with legs and a pussy that loves getting fingered in the depths of a pool or hot tub.

2. Minimal Body Contact
This can basically be a game. Do it doggie and try as hard as you can to not touch thighs. Keep your bellies as far away from each other as possible while keeping the moist parts moist.

3. Mutual masturbation
Another favorite of mine! Watching your partner get off solo can be a very educational experience. Watch them touch themselves, watch them watch you touch yourself…it’s all fun and games.

4. Make it frosty
Pulling out an ice cube or two can be such an amazing way to cool down while you’re heating up things in the bedroom. My advice for this type of play is to lay on top of a towel to soak up the melted water. No one wants to sleep in a wet spot.

5. Break out the balcony
There’s nothing like a cool breeze. On a super hot day, feeling the wind blow across my body makes me tilt my head back, close my eyes, and really appreciate existing. Opening up the windows or sliding glass door will let a bit of the outside. When that random cold air flows through, both of you will be moaning for more.

6. Automotive escapades
When in doubt, crank up the air conditioning in your car and have at it in the back seat. Just make sure you’re in a secluded spot and also put your emergency break on. Rolling into a telephone poll is one hell of a mood breaker.

Do you have any tips for getting the deed done in the summer months? Let me know in the comments or hit me up on twitter with your ideas.

Source: Refinery29

Image: Jewels Jade in Summer Heat by Brazzers

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