Survey Says: Millennials Masturbate More Than Everyone Else

Reading surveys about masturbation is always an enlightening experience for me. Finding out the average person doesn’t masturbate daily is like spending the night at someone else’s house for the first time and discovering that they don’t use flushable adult wipes in the bathroom. It’s an equal mix between shame and just feeling bad for how other people are missing out.

At any rate I recently read a survey that discovered more than half of millennials masturbate weekly, a rate more than higher than any age group. Hmm.

I’m somewhat of a generational tweener. While there’s no exact science to these kinds of things and the labels placed on people are basically just made up marketing flimflam, I consider myself to be among the youngest members of Generation X. I have the all telltale penchants for greasy hair, Snapple, and alternative rock.

I also consider it a noteworthy display of self-control if I willingly go more than 48 hours without masturbating. Based on my personal experience this survey merely suggests people aged 18-24 are less likely to lie on internet surveys.

The data was collected from 13,000 respondents worldwide aged 18-74 by TENGA, a Japanese company that specializes in male sex toys. They discovered that in America, 92 percent of men and 76 percent of women regularly masturbate with countries all throughout Europe and Asia showing similar results.

In addition to revealing other interesting facts like the increased masturbatory rates of millennials, the survey also suggested that only 18 percent of Americans and 11 percent of Germans feel it is important to talk about masturbation with their significant other. Considering the health benefits of taking a solo ride to pound town, maybe we should all be more open about it.

Almost every week we read about genuine scientific studies that tout the health benefits of masturbation. It’s been linked to everything from lowering cholesterol levels to reducing cancer risk. It’s even been discovered that mutually masturbating with one’s partner can increase interest in sex as well as strengthen emotional bonds between lovers. It’s like a miracle cure-all you can massage out of your own  body.

Still, it hardly takes a survey from a sex toy company to deduce that younger people masturbate more. As good as I am now, I was probably even better twenty years ago. If TENGA really wants to help they should invent a safe to store my sex toys in with a built-in grinder that would destroy everything inside if I don’t check in every 24  hours.

That way if I’m about to die or get in an accident I don’t have to worry about my loved ones finding out how I spend all my free  time.

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MTA To Allow Sex Toy Company To Advertise On NYC Subways

New York is an amazing and overwhelming city because every block is packed with excellent stores, restaurants, and other businesses. There isn’t a horrible place to spend money in the Big Apple because anything less than spectacular would fail instantly. This combination of high population and economic density makes every visible surface in New York prime advertising real estate.

Thanks to a recent policy change by the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, this is even true for the makers of luxury sex toys.

This hasn’t always been the case as a company that specializes in high end erotic products found out. When Unbound’s tasteful but provocative advertisements featuring a drawing of a woman laying in bed with an assortment of sex toys strewn about was plastered around subways, the image was deemed inappropriate by the MTA.

However, they must have been concerned about what tourists would see because New Yorkers are notoriously impervious to anybody’s bullshit. When someone pointed out a stylized cartoon drawing of a woman with vibrator nearby is just about the least racy thing you could expect to see in New York, the MTA agreed and promptly changed their mind.

Thanks to accusations of unequal treatment from the transit authority, who already allows advertisements for male enhancement pills and breast augmentation surgery, it was decided that Unbound’s ads could remain in place. According to a spokesman from the corporation:

“The MTA has always and will continue to ensure that our policies are applied evenly and fairly. We’re going to direct our advertising partner to work with the company toward a resolution that is agreeable to all parties and allows their ads on the  system.”

Unbound commissioned artists Laura Callaghan, Loveis Wise and Kristen Liu Wong to create artwork for the campaign and there isn’t anything inherently erotic about it. They just depict stylized images of women with the kinds of products you could buy from the company. The fact that these products could be used for sexual purposes is more or less irrelevant as literally anything is a sex toy if  you’re brave enough.

Polly Rodriguez, the CEO of Unbound, saw the move as more of a band-aid that keeps her current ad campaign going. She hopes that this will eventually lead to a change in policy to protect further ads from companies that specialize in female sex toys from being unequally targeted by censors and  critics.

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Survey Says: Regular Sex Important For People Older Than 65

There are more people aged 65 or older in the world than ever before. This is especially true in places such as the United States where advances in medicine have increased the life expectancy of the average person. As a result of this aging population we are seeing an increase in television and movies that depict elderly people as being far more lively.

This includes media with sexual active senior citizens, which even only a few years ago was something many people frowned upon or considered too absurd to be realistic. However, this negative connotation of sexually healthy older people is rapidly changing.

According to a recent survey of about 1,000 people aged 65 to 80, sex is still considered to be an important part of one’s life. Participants of the survey confirmed that regular sex is integral to their overall happiness, directly challenging the long-held assumption that interest in sex ends soon after retirement.

Personally, I’m relieved to know I’m likely to be sexual active as a senior citizen because I’m a bit of what most people would call a late bloomer. It’s comforting to know I still have a long ride ahead of me.

The study was carried out by the University of Michigan and was sponsored in party by the AARP. They discovered that 40% of the elderly people who participated are sexually active with 84% of men and 69% of women citing sex as an important part of maintaining a happy life.

These numbers suggest a small subset of elderly people who aren’t sexually active but wish they were and it makes me kind of sad to think about it. Maybe they should try moving to a different  community.

A while back we read about a man who was busted for running a brothel out of a retirement community and we assumed most of his clients were other retirees. While these businesses were being operated with questionable practices there has to be some really cool facility somewhere in the country with a really ethical prostitution program. After all, if having sex is important to an elderly person I would certainly hope they are able to find (or pay for) a willing  partner.

For whatever reason many people still don’t like to imagine senior citizens having sex. Not me though. With advancements in both plastic surgery and low impact exercise programs it’s really easy to imagine women in their late 60s having sex. It’s even one of my favorite Pornhub  searches.

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Woman Removes Her Own Breast Implants With DIY Surgery

My sister is a wonderful human being and a bit of an amateur dermatologist. Her desire to rid the world of tiny blemishes was extended to me when she used her various tools, like an electric burning device, to remove a small skintag from my face.

She isn’t squeamish at all. The smell of my burning flesh, large amount of blood, and muffled screaming didn’t deter her from zapping the flap right off my temple. When I asked her if it hurts when she does this to herself she said it does, but the temporary pain is worth it if you’ll look better forever afterwards.

This kind of mentality is not unique to my beloved sister and some people go to even further extremes to improve their physical appearance using DIY surgery.

Recently a woman from Lincolnshire, England made the news after she decided to take matters into her own hands and remove a pair of unwanted breast implants using a box cutter. While many people were quick to criticize the risky procedure the woman said she had a good reason: they were really bothering her and she didn’t want to wait for her health insurance to approve surgery.

Well alright then.

The 49-year-old told British media she received her 36F breast implants 14 years ago. After growing tired of having super-sized boobs she decided to look into having them removed only to find out the procedure wasn’t immediately covered by the UK’s NHS plan.

After learning that the implant removal procedure would cost her £3,000 if performed privately, she finally had enough. The unnatural appearance of the aging and oversized silicone breasts was seriously impacting her life so she decided to do the surgery herself.

The woman purchased a box cutter and made a small incision just under the original scar from her implant surgery after numbing the skin with an icepack. She performed a few initial test cuts before finally digging through the layers of fatty tissue inside her breast but ruptured one of the silicone implants during the process. Yikes!

Being a responsible adult, she finally decided it was time to dress the wounds as best she could and drive herself to an emergency room.

When she arrived at the hospital she presented doctors with a note explaining what she had done, and they rushed to access the damage. Doctors flushed her now deflated breasts with saline spray to remove any leaked silicone and cleaned and dressed her wound before sending her home without the need for  stitches.

Doctors called the woman lucky for performing such a procedure on herself without serious consequences. She went on to say she considered the whole thing a success, adding she was happy with the results and her hacked up, saggy breasts are a huge improvement over the old  implants.

Honestly, I’m just impressed she had the determination and to carry out the procedure. I could barely stand having a skintag the size of a grain of rice removed without any proper  anesthesia.

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Asa Akira’s Bidet

Home for Sale with Dungeon

Licking a Stranger’s Butt isn’t Cool

Fap Along With Harlot: Sunshine and Pussy

I get fixated on themes, Peepz. That’s probably why writing these Fap Alongs is my favorite thing to do all week. My brain has been looking for the unique things that make clips hot to me. Lots of performers wear black, red and purple lingerie, but not many wear the colors of sunshine.

This week we’ve got ladies all dolled up in the colors of the sunshine. I needed this week’s theme to be super happy and honestly, yellow and orange lingerie did the trick.

Are you Peepz ready to get it on with me? Grab your stick of man meat and let’s fap!

Anastasia Knight looks glorious when she has a thick cock stuck in her throat. Her yellow fishnet dress leaves little to the imagination and that’s exactly how I like it. Wait until you see this hottie gape.

Two blonde friends get together to work out. After they’ve had their fill of lifting weights, they decide to swap their dads to see if the poppa bear fantasy is all that it’s cracked up to be. Orange camo pants totally count towards my sunshine goal!

I had to have a conversation with my wife about whether this next outfit was pink or orange. I think it’s one of those yellow dress/blue dress Internet trick things. I say it’s orange, so we’re going with that. This clip is a rough one with sloppy overhead blowjobs and power pounding galore.

When you’re selling produce on the side of the road, sometimes creepy dudes will come up to you and poke you in the eye with their dick. I’m not condoning that type of behavior, but if you’re in a porno scene, it’s cool. This hottie isn’t even in lingerie, but it doesn’t matter because her blowjob intensity is at a 10.

I was going back and forth with including this last clip, because I really try to mix it up with the type of content I provide us with for our special fap time. I couldn’t resist Carmen Rae and her fantastic asshole though. You have enough spunk left to get one more off?

That’s all for this week, Peepz. If you’d like a Fap Along of your very own, hit me up in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Image: Abigail Mac in Power Bangers: A XXX Parody by Brazzers

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Just Don’t Ask Me To Try The “Palmier”

Sex Tech: LoveSync

When I’m feeling randy and I want to fuck, I put on some sexy panties, kiss my wife deeply and say, “I’d really like to feel your fist inside my pussy.”  I mean, say what you want about me but I’ve never been really good at the whole subtle thing. When I want something, I ask for it. That’s just the way I roll.

Not everyone is as comfortable with requesting fisting as I am though, and brilliant couple in Cleveland, Ohio has come up with a solution to the age old question, “Does my partner want to smash or not?”

LoveSync is a two button system that plugs into a USB port.  You get one button, your partner gets the other. If you’re in the mood and want to fuck, you press the button and the system will remember for a specific amount of time.  If your partner presses their button within that window, both buttons will glow signifying that romance is cool with both parties and a sex fest is eminent.

Here’s the Kickstarter video for the device:

In my brain, there are pros and cons to the LoveSync machine.  Tons of my friends are shy about asking their partner for sex. One guy has been shot down by his wife so much since they had their first born, that he’s completely stopped asking.  The fear of rejection is so high that he has started doubting his own sexiness because his wife never seems to be in the mood when he is. When his wife tries initiating sex, he feels like he has to jump on the situation or get left out in the cold…and since he isn’t always ready, his erection is lackluster and he can’t finish.

For that couple, I can see LoveSync being a gift from the gods.  It takes the guesswork out of romance with busy couples who are in the same situation as my friends.

For me though?  My overly communicative ass thinks that the button is a bit of a crutch to bandage the fact that so many people have forgotten how to talk to their partners.  If you’re open and honest about sex, when you want it and when you don’t, then finding a time that’s good for all parties involved is as easy as opening your mouth.

I turn my wife down sometimes, she turns me down sometimes…and we don’t get butthurt over it.  Confidence is high in my home and fragile egos have gone the way of the dinosaurs.

Luck has put us both in that place though.

If you’re interested in backing the LoveSync kickstarter project, you can CLICK HERE

Do you think Love buttons are a good idea?  Do you wish you had something like this in your house so that you can figure out when your partner wants to have sex?

Let me know in the comments below or hit me up on twitter.

Source: The Verge and Kickstarter

Image: Katie Banks in Pussy Peek by Reality Kings

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PornHub’s Valentine’s Day Album is Mood

Emily Ratajakowski Launches Lingerie Line

Fap Along With Harlot: Bluebird Films

And That’s Why Doctors Go To Medical School

Sex Toy Brothels

Lindsey Pelas is Hot

Game Night Fantasy

I can’t stop my brain from going full perv sometimes, Peepz.

My wife and I were hanging out at a Pokemon Go raid and we started talking to one of the guys that was raiding with us. We ended up defeating the monster (Palkia, if anyone cares) and we started walking over to our car. Before we got in that guy pulled up to us and was like, “I know we don’t know each other or anything, but you seem pretty cool. Do you want to come over to my place tonight to play some games? My wife is having a few friends over and I think you’d have fun.”

This is possibly the first time that I’ve randomly gone to a strangers house since I stopped being a Craig’s List slut, but we decided that it might be fun.

Around 8, I grabbed a few single beers from our fridge stash and we headed over. Now, we kind of made a contingency plan beforehand, because sometimes wifey and I end up in awkwardly terrible situations and have issues getting out of them. We figured that we’d stay for an hour definitely, but then I’d start talking about our dog being sick if we weren’t having fun and we’d just leave. No big deal.

We walked in the house and the guy’s wife seemed nice, but super apprehensive. They don’t seem to be the type that has a lot of LGBT+ friends, but she smiled and we rolled with it. The doorbell kept ringing and soon there were 8 of us sitting around the table.

The guy’s wife’s friends were all SUPER attractive. Hair totally done…makeup on point…clothes looking fresh and expensive purses to boot. I immediately started wondering if there was even a remote possibility that I could turn this group gathering into an orgy.

We started playing a game called Unstable Unicorns. One of the cards was an Extremely Fertile Unicorn. Everyone snickered and someone started talking about anal sex and making babies. These were my kind of people. I never want to be the one to break the perverse ice because sometimes that’s a line that you can’t come back from. I will run straight over that line the moment that someone brings up rim jobs, don’t get it twisted.

I started zoning out on the game and thinking about how sexy it would be to have all 6 of the ladies in the room completely naked and laying down on the dining room table with their legs spread open wide. If that were the case, I could slowly lick each of them, moving around in a circle.

It was my turn, but I wasn’t paying attention so my wife kicked me under the table.

I’ve been out of the game so long that sometimes I forget how to make orgies happen. Next time we hang out though, I think I may start laying the groundwork. I mean, if people are down to talk about anal gaping the first time you hang out with them, they’re probably fairly open to group sex, right?

Maybe that’s a far stretch. We shall see.

Image: Diamond Foxxx in Game Night Fuck by Brazzers

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Fap Along With Harlot: Mia Khalifa Forever

Unique pornstars with tons of creativity will always get my views. Mia Khalifa was born in Lebanon and has been in the adult industry for quite some time. At this point, she’s doing her own thing and keeping her fans happy via her Patreon page and her personal website.

I started creeping on her PornHub page and decided I needed to share the wealth with my favorite perverts. You Peepz ready to cum? Let’s fap!

I want to start up this fuck fest with a little introduction to Mia’s body. She strips down while she’s in a library and shows off her hard body to the camera.

Mia decides she wants to pop her BBD cherry, so she trolls around the streets to find a willing cock. Rico gives her every inch of his well hung member and makes her beg for even more.

I’m in love with Mia’s giggle. She’s got such a happy outlook when it comes to sex and she doesn’t mind having a good time. In this clip, she gets fingered and facialed in this next clip. Wait till you see the size of the popshot.

It’s time for POOL SEX!!!! It’s my favorite kind of outdoor play, my Peepz! Mia gets soaked in her bikini and shows off her puffy nipples while she strokes her co-star.

When it comes to sucking cock, you’re not going to find anyone who does it better than Mia. She can slow stroke with her lips while gagging on whatever happens to be sliding down her throat.

If you are interested in checking out more of Mia’s portfolio, swing through her PornHub Channel and see what you can come up with. You can follow her on twitter and keep up with her posts on Instagram if you can’t seem to get enough of her.

Image: Mia Khalifa’s Instagram

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Stoya is Writing Advice for Slate and I’m Here for It

We have a group of friends that’s about a decade younger than my wife and I are.  The age gap is never visible to us until we end up discussing culture and pop culture. I totally lump the adult industry into that category.  

When people don’t recognize the names of the legendary Pornstars that I idolized in my 20s, it makes my heart sad.  I guess it’s kind of like my version of, “Back in my day, we listened to REAL music,” like my parents used to say.

Anyway, my personal old lady status aside, Stoya revolutionized the adult entertainment industry in her heyday by taking control of her career and signing a contract with Digital Playground.  When she decided to take a step back from that company, she built her own websites and content, continually building her brand.

Here’s a clip from way back when to remind you of how amazing she can be in front of the camera:

Stoya has been a writer since 2012.  She has penned articles for Vice, the New York Times, Playboy and dozens of other publications both on and offline.  Last summer, with the release of her (really, really intriguing and amazing) book titled Philosophy, Pussycats and Porn, she took on the idea of who she really is vs. the perception of outsiders on her life.  Now, Slate has given her another medium and she’s giving advice to the population of the Internet who write in.

The advice she’s doling out in How to Do It  is sound and educated, just as you’d expect it to be.  

Don’t want to have buttsex with your husband?  Don’t do it.

Are you a 30-year-old virgin who feels intimidated by tongue kissing?  Be honest with the people you are dating and see where the evening takes you.

There are some questions that are tough and some that seem relatively logical, but she’s thoughtful and thought provoking just as she’s always been.

Source: Slate

Image: Stoya’s instagram

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Car Sex and Cocaine Lead to Arrest

Dr. Ruth Wants to Teach Millennials About Sex

“How in the fuck did we learn about sex before the Internet?”

That’s what my wife’s BFF asked on Saturday night while we were out for her birthday drinks. My wife suggested that we just messed around until it felt right. One of our other friends brought up shady looking porno shops and watching Skinamax through the wavy lines.

“What about Dr. Ruth though!” one of the guys at the table behind us asked.

I mean, absolutely. Dr. Ruth was the be all, end all of sex education when I was growing up. She has always been an adorable grandma who has no problem with explaining how to place a penis inside a vagina. Her eyes are always sparkling like she was the keeper of everyone’s naughtiest secrets because she basically was.

Decades have passed and Dr. Ruth is still letting people know how to knock boots. Because society has changed so much, she’s decided to revamp her old standard handbook.

With the Internet at our fingertips 24 hours a day, what can we possibly learn from a sex therapist from the 80s? Everything that we’ve forgotten how to do.

Women used to ask how they could have an orgasm, men would ask how to slow down their orgasm. She says that she doesn’t get questions like those much anymore. The new generation has a whole new outlook on sexual relationships. We’re cool with the sex, but we’re confused about how to have a personal relationship with people. It takes a lot for us to communicate with others in person sometimes because we’re so used to hiding behind our keyboards.

She’s coming out with a brand new edition of Sex for Dummies that is specifically written with Millennials in mind. Here’s a short video she shot with Variety talking about the book.

What do you Peepz think about Dr. Ruth’s idea to make another edition of Sex for Dummies. Will you be picking up a copy or are you going to continue risking your chances on the wilds of the Internet?

Source:Variety

Image: Lezley Zen in The Sex Therapist by Brazzers

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Taking Time To Look Behind

What is the first thing you notice when you click on a cam room? Of course you’re going to notice the person. Regardless of the gender, the person you are watching has probably put a bit of thought into what is on camera, and I’m not just talking about their bodies and their sex toys.

In my opinion, there are three things that will lead to a successful amateur (and pro, but I’ve never shot one of those, so won’t speak to that) porn scene or cam session in general. You have to figure out what the actual sexualized act is that you’re going to be performing, you have to figure out what you’re going to wear and you have to figure out what is going to be in the background of the camera while you are doing whatever it is that you’re doing.

Simplified, it comes down to: sex act, wardrobe, location.

As an amateur performer, if you aren’t taking those three things into consideration, it’s going to be a bit harder to make the money that you’re trying to make.

It’s fairly easy to get your hands on sex toys and lingerie, but when it comes to the backdrop of your scene, a bit more attention to detail may be necessary. That pile of dirty laundry on the floor? Move it the hell out of the way. If you have a nightstand that is cluttered with half empty bottles of water and used tissues? Grab a garbage pail and make your shit neat. I get that you’re masturbating and that you think no one is going to notice the dirty undies that are under your pillow, but they will. Prep the background as much as you prep your toys and your wardrobe.

When you are camming or shooting videos, you have two directions for your background to go. You either want it to be such a wildly exotic location that the viewer would say, “Man, I wish I was there,” or you want it to feel like you were looking inside your neighbor’s bedroom. In my old apartment, I had mirrors set up behind my bed so that the people watching me could see every single angle of my body as I turned around. It’s the attention to detail that will make people interested in what you’re doing over and over again.

In 2017, a photographer Kurt Hollander decided to focus his work on the rooms that camgirls use to perform for his series titled Erotic Videochat Studios. He traveled to a videochat studio in Columbia just to photograph the sets where women masturbate. I know that it’s a bit of old news, but reading the Fast Company article linked below made me look a little bit harder at what was happening in the background of the PornHub videos that I watched in my spare time this week.

I want to give you Peepz a challenge this week. When you’re cruising around the PornHub Network for something to fap to, check out the little details in the background behind the performers. Do you find yourself drawn to minimalistic sets or are you into scenes that take place in homes that look lived in?

Start up a conversation with me on twitter. I’m curious to see what you Peepz think.

In the meantime, here’s a PornHub amateur video featuring a camgirl with some camouflage in the background.

Source: Fast Company

Image: El Companero de Estudios by Brazzers

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Farrah Abraham Wants Your Money For Her “Farrahpy”

Fap Along With Harlot: Jerk It

How often do you lube your dick up and stroke? I was having a conversation with one of my friends this week and he mentioned that he goes at it with himself at least twice a day, sometimes three or four. He mentioned that when he was in his early twenties, he was cumming five times on average and now that he’s edging closer to forty, his spunk production is less, but his urge to play with himself is still fairly intense.

After talking about his jerk off routines, I strolled over to PornHub to have a look at any kind of jerk off porn I could find. I’ve got some handjobs, some solo work and even some jerk off instructional clips for those of you who like a helping hand.

You Peepz ready to get off with me? Grab a towel for a quick and easy clean up and let’s fap!

The only thing that a mouth is used for in this first clip is dirty talking. Raquel Ropper gets on her knees to perform an act of cock worship that is sure to get this party started on the right foot.

When you’re as hot as Mercedes Carrera dudes are going to be jizzing as soon a you lay a fingertip on their cock. She encourages you to touch your cock while she slowly strips down to nothing and rubs her clit in return.

Caroline Pierce lends a fan a hand with his masturbation fantasy. She makes sure his dick is nice and slick before she slides her palms around his shaft and squeezes with the right amount of pressure.

New York trans performer Vernoica Venom has a massive cock that she loves to show up. She has a punk rock edge and a sultry voice that loves to tell dirty stories to the camera.

This last video is a compilation of a whole bunch of Jerk Off Instructional videos. Each of the ladies has a different take on what they want you to do with your cock. Do you have a favorite from this run of clips? Hit me up in the comments below and let me know!

That’s all for this week, Peepz. If you’d like a Fap Along of your very own, slide into my DMs on twitter and tell me all about it.

Image: Kita Zen in The Hand of Zen by Reality Kings

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The Best Little (Robot) Whorehouse in Texas?

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

It’s never a bad idea to get out ahead of things, especially if you happen to be someone whose job includes planning for the future development of your town or city.

At a time when the global human population is becoming progressively more urban with each passing year, it’s also sensible for planners in what are no suburban areas to think ahead about how the ever-forward march of urban sprawl may someday impact their communities.

That said, were I a member of the city council in Bryan, Texas – a city with a population currently estimated at 84,637 – writing new zoning ordinances pertaining to robot brothels might not be very high on my list of priorities.

Not in My Backyard – Or Front Yard… Or Side Yard, Or…

To forestall the seemingly not-so-imminent possibility of robot brothels showing up in Bryan, the city’s Planning Administrator Martin Zimmerman said it was important to add such brothels to Bryan’s existing zoning regulations, in advance of some robopimp showing up with a business plan.

“If we don’t define it (“it” being a robot brothel) as part of this (“this” being the adult entertainment business designation), then somebody could argue that this (robot brothel) might be OK in other districts,” Zimmerman said.

I suppose that’s true. Of course, it’s also true a forward-thinking entrepreneur could come along offering flux capacitors for sale, but I don’t hear Zimmerman or anyone else talking about restricting the resale of customized DeLoreans.

At any rate, the message Zimmerman and the Bryan city council is clear: “Not in My Backyard” – or front yard, or any other yard, if what you’re looking to sell is hookups with robotic approximations of human sex workers.

Houston, We Don’t Want Your Problem

So, why is the Bryan City Council taking up the issue of robot brothels now?

According to local media reports, the inspiration behind the Bryan City Council’s move to include robot brothels in its existing zoning regulations restricting the location of adult entertainment businesses was the fact a Canadian company, Kinky S Dolls, was “targeting Houston as the first market in a planned U.S. expansion.”

That idea didn’t go over too well with the Houston government though, with Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner saying a sex doll brothel is “it’s not the sort of business that I want in the city of Houston.”

Sylvester isn’t alone in not wanting sex doll/robot brothels in Space City, of course – there’s also the group “Elijah Rising” an anti-human-trafficking organization which believes use of sex dolls, sex robots and/or porn encourages human trafficking.

“We’ve been seeing a lot of people on social media say this is going to solve the issue of sex trafficking,” said David Gamboa, a staff member of Elijah Rising. “That is not our stance. We saw it as going to actually encourage men, or at least create that proclivity in men, to go out and purchase a woman.”

Are These ‘Robots’ Really a Viable Replacement for Having Sex with Human Women?

While I can understand why someone might cast their gaze into the future, imagine a Blade Runner-level of realism in android approximations of humans and conclude that hyper-realistic sex robots are an eventuality we need to consider, I must ask: Are we truly so close to that day arriving?

In the same article which quoted Gamboa from Elijah Rising, we’re told a “company in California has produced a prototype hyper-realistic sex robot that can tell jokes, quote Shakespeare and remember birthdays.”

I don’t know about your husbands, sons and fathers, but with respect to my own, I’d say the ability to quote Shakespeare and remember their birthdays don’t rank particularly high on their respective lists of things that make them want to have sex with a woman.

My grandmother was a Shakespeare scholar (seriously, I’m not making that up) who reliably remembered to send my older brother a birthday card every year – and not once do I recall him ever trying to hire her to perform sex acts on him.

All told, I tend to agree with those who say our fear of sex robots is irrational – or not until they create ones which know how to convincingly flatter a tubby 40-something and persuade him they’re paying their way through med school with the tips he gives them, at least.

Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:

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