Hump Day, GIF Day: Maddy O’Reilly Gets You Through The Week

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Last Week On Insta: Beatriz Vidal, Stefania Ferrario & +++

Sex News: Sex App, How To Deal With Trolls, & The Galactic Cap

I’ve never been a prude, but I have gone through phases in my life where I’ve been shy about showing my nude body because of confidence issues. One of the benefits of no longer being a scared and insecure teenager is that as you grow older you start to give zero fucks about what other people think, which means that I’ve been flashing my tits and my ass to people all over the place these days. Mostly, because it’s swimming season and I can’t be bothered to hide when changing.

I should created a profile on Ohlala and put that up as my bio and see how many hits I get.

• EAT, PAY, LOVE – A new app lets women charge for a night out. Will dating join the on-demand economy? (The Verge)

Launched in August 2015, Ohlala is a web-based app that facilitates what it calls “instant paid dating.” Male users post offers for dates, consisting of a time, a duration, and how much money they’re willing to pay — a typical offer is from 1–4 hours at an average price of $300. While the request is up, women can decide whether or not they’d like that person to be able to contact them. Crucially, women are not visible to men before they initiate conversation — it’s the inverse of the backpage listings to which it’s often compared. Here, the buyers must come forward first. From there, the couple can chat and discuss the whens and wheres of their impending dates, as well as a payment method and their boundaries, if they so please. (In-app payment is currently in the works, the team tells me.) When the terms are agreed upon, the chat is logged, and presumably both parties are incentivized to show up. Though its on-demand model has earned Ohlala the label “Uber for escorts,” the company insists it isn’t an escort agency, or even operating in the adult entertainment space.

I don’t understand the chick at the beginning of the article who got paid $600 to go on a date with a guy and was taken aback when he expected sex. I mean, that’s the whole point of a paying dating app, right?!

• Pro tips from porn stars and camgirls for dealing with cyberbullying and trolls (Fusion)

When it comes to some of the worst hardcore trolling, the misogyny and violence hurled at adult film actresses and webcam models is next-level crazy. Although many porn stars and cam models maintain some level of anonymity behind professional monikers and stage names, they’re still dependent on maintaining an active social media presence to promote their content and make a living. And when you’re literally baring it all online, you really expose yourself to all sorts of crazy haters. […]

VR porn star Ela Darling says that “people who are cruel to you are not entitled to your time and attention.” She says women who are trolled should never “internalize the nasty things that people say to you, and NEVER internalize misogyny.”

It’s also important for women to stand together and not become agents of misogyny themselves. “Take a stand, and let it stop with you,” she says.

There is so much hate out there, I don’t understand people who spend their time on the internet spread hate around. Don’t they find it depressing? Are they just miserable fucks IRL?

• Where No Man Has Come Before – Can the Galactic Cap take safe sex to infinity and beyond? (MEL)

The selection committee was right that, in a head-to-head STI prevention battle, the Galactic Cap’s intentionally skimpy coverage would lose out to the full-body sheath of a traditional (or slightly tweaked) condom. But Powell believes that this argument rests on faulty logic.

“If it’s not skin-to-skin, guys won’t want to use it,” he says. “They just rearranged the deck chairs on the Titanic.” Powell believes that the increased pleasure of the Galactic Cap will “drastically increase” the number of men worldwide willing to wrap up — and even if the Cap is less effective than a traditional condom at preventing STI transmission, it’s a lot better than wearing nothing at all.

This is a statistical argument about a worldwide population that barely uses condoms, an argument that reducing risk for a larger pool of people is better than ensuring total safety for a relatively tiny population. But on an individual level, Powell concedes that, “if you’re worried about HIV, you need to put on a full condom.”

So basically, condoms are still the best thing we’ve got?! What is even the point of this?!!!

Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd

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Monday Morning Jerk Before Work: Have You Met Karlee Grey?

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Tatiana Platon Is A Pervy Uncle’s Wish Upon A Star Come True

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Public Sex Epidemic In Local Park Blamed On Pokémon Go?

Since being released earlier this July, Pokémon Go has become a full-fledged cultural phenomenon. The augmented reality game lets players explore their surroundings while staring at their phones waiting for cartoon animals to appear and be collected. In the first hour after it was released the game was downloaded millions of times, giving birth to a media sensation.

However by encouraging players to go outside the game was responsible for luring sedentary young people out of their rooms and into public landmarks like malls and parks- at which point they proceeded to engage in recreational drugs and sex.

Wait, what?

Like most things that are new and exciting, Pokémon Go has upset a lot of prudes. Once serene places where they walked their dogs are now filled with hordes of youths, eyes glued to their phones, laughing and socializing with other players. Clearly we can blame all of the world’s problems on it.

Residents of the area around Allington Park in Kent, England claim a rise of drug use and public sex on the green is directly linked to the popular video game. They believe that drug paraphernalia they have found on the grounds were left directly by Pokémon players.

Park goers are also convinced that the influx of people seeking rare Pokémon is responsible for public sex acts that have been reported. Well shit. If this is true I might have to reinstall the game.

Regardless of what brought these ne’er-do-wells to Allington Park, littering a public area with bongs and dime bags is not acceptable behavior. Also if you insist on having sex in a park, have the decency to wait until nightfall. It’s the little gestures that make a difference.

The people making these complaints to the police have also considered asking Nintendo to remove Pokéstops, or places of interest within the game, from the park. That’s the kind of solution the villain from an 80s movie would come up with.

For their part, police have responded to these concerns by patrolling the park, though they have not found any evidence of drug use or public sex.

Image: Georgie Lyall in A Fuck In The Park by Brazzers

Via kentonline.co.uk

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Masturbation Roll

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Fap Along With Harlot: Ice Cold

It’s hot outside…like crazy hot outside. It’s hard for me to even appreciate the fact that bootie shorts are everywhere because i’m hanging out in the air conditioning as much as possible.

I’m so glad I have PornHub to keep me company.

I need to cool myself down a bit before I can get myself off…no one likes it when sweaty thighs end up stuck to a leather chair. Ice is what I need. Ice will keep me cool enough to masturbate a few times with you Peepz.

You ready? Let’s Fap!

First up is Shay Evans looking gorgeous in this clip from Exotic 4K. I nearly came before her fuck buddy even walked in the room. The tease is really on point. She runs an ice cube all over her body and the close up of her dripping wet box will leave you with a raging hard on.

As soon as I hit play on this next clip, I knew I was going to love this babe. Her hair is crazy long and she’s wearing a pair of black Batman panties…I mean, what’s not to love? She’s all alone with a wet pussy and a freezing cube of ice to stimulate her clit.

I love a woman who isn’t afraid to lick her lips seductively. It takes a lot of practice but once you’ve got it down, one look can make pants drop all around you. There’s a gorgeous set of puffy pink nips in this video, but it’s her labia that drive me absolutely wild.

A blonde punk from Detroit has the time of her life at spring break. She shows off her exhibitionist side with a Popsicle in hand…and that butthole? What I wouldn’t give to have a little lick.

The last clip for this week is a super kinky, extra long clip that stars Carla Novais and Thais Schiavinato. They are both trans performers who love taking turns licking and fucking each other with cold, sweet treats.

Are you Peepz into the shock of cold kink when you’re playing in the bedroom? Hit me up in the comments and let me know what kind of clips you’d like to Fap Along to next week.

Image: Aidra Fox in ZZ Lemonade by Brazzers

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Worst Porn-Superhero Name, Ever

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

If you’re not a comic book/graphic novel reader, take it from a girl who is: Superhero names have gotten a lot more creative over time.

In the very old days of comics, most characters were named according to some version of the basic Noun + “Man” or Adjective + “Man” construction – thus we get Batman, Superman, and the somewhat lesser-known Aluminum Siding Man, who may have been more of an industry marketing campaign than a superhero, but sure had one fabulous cape.

In more recent days, superhero names have become far more creative and a lot less obvious. I’m talking about the likes of Rorschach, Gambit, Deadpool and Simone Biles – the latter of whom the announcers calling gymnastics at the Olympic Games keep insisting is a regular person and not a superhuman, despite her flagrant and habitual disregard for the laws of physics.

So it was with some dismay that I realized the porn world is lagging far behind the likes of Marvel and DC when it comes to naming our superheroes, with Exhibit A being a presumably meek and mild-mannered Brit named “Ian Turner” – who by night apparently transforms into…. (drumroll, please)
“Extreme Porn Man.”

Not Entirely Sure I Want To See His Costume….
Thus far, I haven’t been able to locate a picture or even an artist’s conception of Turner in his Extreme Porn Man costume, but I can only assume it follows in the tradition of more established superheroes like Spider Man and provides some visual echo of our hero’s pornographic moniker.

Accordingly, I’m guessing right smack in the middle of his chest, there’s some bold font which reads “EPM,” and beneath that text a depiction of a gaped butthole, or perhaps a stylized rendition of someone gagging on an extremely large penis.

I suppose it’s possible Turner opted for something a little more on the subtle side, like an image of crossed “swords” superimposed over a circle, leaving it up to each observer to decide if this is symbol indicative of double penetration, a “blowbang” which is just getting started, or the incongruous choice of being a porn-themed hero who for some reason sports an updated version of the Trump/Pence campaign logo on his chest.

Either way, I’m assuming part of the reason Turner got in trouble with the British Crown (other than being a mutant, something to which even the most liberal governments always seem to object) was his habit of wearing an obscene costume in public.

Let’s face it, even if you’re saving them from evil Norse gods or reanimated zombie-Nazis, no parent wants to spend her post-rescue phase answering questions like “Mama, what does ‘DVDA’ mean?”

(Pro tip: Don’t say you’ll “explain when they’re older” or some cliché parental BS like that; just be honest and tell them it’s Trey Parker’s band.)

Is Extreme Porn Man Really A Russian Double-Agent?
As a veteran reader of comic books, I’m always initially skeptical of new characters introduced out of nowhere. An alarming percentage of the time, these new characters are backstabbers, “sleeper” agents, super-saboteurs or – even worse – Arm-Fall-Off-Boy.

In the case of Extreme Porn Man, certain warning signs are already revealing themselves, like the fact Turner has “secured employment in Russia, teaching English to businessmen.”

First of all, Extreme Porn Man seems like a very odd choice to teach English to anyone, much less to Russian businessmen. On the other hand, I guess it would make sense if one of his superpowers was the ability to translate particularly vulgar phrases into any language, as this would allow EPM to make porn anywhere in the world without having to ask anyone how to say the word “whore” in the local vernacular.

My concern, of course, is if EPM is a Russian double-agent, he might provide some of our domestic porn industry’s most closely-guarded gonzo porn secrets and vital, clandestine porn-making techniques to Russian pornographers, giving them a substantial advantage in the global market.

The Right Woman For The Job?
Fortunately for residents of Whitehaven (not to mention Gotham City), if Extreme Porn Man does turn out to be a closet villain and/or an agent of Hydra, in the latest episode, the pornographic super-being appears to have been at least temporarily neutralized by his nemesis, Judge Barbara Forrester.

Forrester isn’t just equipped with the state-granted power of judgment, either. Like many other characters in the comic book universe, Forrester’s superhuman powers are augmented by a kind of ‘talisman,’ an object of tremendous potency and historical significance which has arrived in her possession by means unclear.

I’m speaking, of course, of first American President George Washington’s wig, which Forrester must have worn in court when confronting Extreme Porn Man, or clearly she would have been defeated before the conclusion of the pretrial hearings.

Will Forrester and her trusty (and possibly crusty) old wig be enough to prevent Extreme Porn Man from travelling to Russia to teach Mikhail Fridman how to film a compelling gangbang scene? Or is Forrester herself the evil one, while the misunderstood but heroic EPM is just working diligently to protect us from an onslaught of very poorly produced Russian gonzo?

Tune in next week hearing to find out!

Photo Credit: Lance Hart from PervOut.com

Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:

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Throw Back Thursday Nudity Edition: Eva Mendes (2009)

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