Saturday, December 23, 2017

Fap Along With Harlot: Happy Little Trees

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This was the first year that I cut down our Christmas tree from the forest. I chopped it with an axe, Peepz! It was amazing and exhilarating and after it hit the ground, I wished that I could chop down another one.

Before anyone attacks me for deforestation stuff…we went to a sustainable farm and did it the right way.

In any case, I went onto PornHub when I got home and decided to look up some tree porn. It exists! Of course it does. There is <"a href="http://ift.tt/2pntoGr" title="Sexy Internets Spotlight Rule 34">porn for everything.

You Peepz ready? Grab your battle axes and let’s get dirty.

Tree hugging takes a turn for the sexual in this first clip. Jaye Austin stops a lumberjack from doing his job by enticing him with her pussy. The bondage aspect of this clip only makes it hotter.


The livingroom floor is the perfect place to fuck when all of the presents have been packed up. There’s plenty of room and the mood lighting is super romantic. Just don’t set your lights to the super blinky setting because that can get distracting.

I’m down for a strap on session regardless of the season. The huge fake dick in this clip had me begging my wife to bang me before we went to bed. Spanking and moaning add to the ambiance so you’ll be cumming in no time.

This type of amateur porno is just my style. When you can’t wait to fuck, sometimes you’ve got to push your babe up against a tree to make sure that you can get your rocks off as soon as possible.

A festive masturbation session is in the cards for this sexy model from Nubiles. She’s wearing a santa hat and her tree is in the background. I bet you won’t even notice the tree after she spreads her legs though.

That’s it for this week, Peepz. I hope you get to splooge all over some foliage sometime soon. I’ll see you next time!

Image: Alexis Monroe in Strangers In the Woods by Brazzers



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