Underwear Day Parade

New Orleans, Louisiana is a magical place. While it’s known for it’s Mardi Gras celebration, the city is filled with fun year round. On August 5th, the city’s inhabitants will take part in their annual Underwear Day Parade and I’ve never wanted to buy a plane ticket more.

The logistics of Underwear Day are fairly simple to wrap your head around. Folks meet up at a specific location, strip down to their skivvies and walk around the block. Some people buy new fancy lingerie to waltz in, some people wear their holiest of undies. It really doesn’t matter what type of underoos they are wear.

I feel like I’d be dressed to impress if I participated. I’d probably empty my wallet and buy some way too expensive lingerie, wrap my legs up in fishnets but keep my Converse All Stars on my feet. I’m not going to walk four city blocks wearing 6 inch heels at this point in my life. No shame here. Cons are timeless and match everything.

Isn’t it amazing when a whole community comes together to celebrate the nearly naked human form? Their message is about body positivity and inclusion of all genders. I’m in love with this idea. I may even try to petition my town to see if I can get a parade like this started. I mean, I’m pretty sure that the rich suburban soccer moms aren’t going to be down, but it’s cool. I’ll just have a parade around my condo in front of my windows.

If you’re curious as to how the Underwear Parade looks, here’s a YouTube video from the 2016 parade. You can see that tons of people participate in the fun and games.

What do you Peepz think of this tradition? Would you participate in the parade if you were living in New Orleans?

Let me know in the comments or hit me up on twitter.

Source: NOLA

Image: Bridgette B in Step Up to Get Your Dick Up by Brazzers

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Let’s Talk Body Hair

Humor me, Peepz.

Take off your pants right now. Stop what you’re doing and just take off whatever you are wearing on the lower half of your body. If you’re at work sneaking a peek at the goods while your boss isn’t watching, maybe hold off till later. I don’t want you to get fired, I want you to be hyper aware of what kind of hair situation you’ve got going on downtown.

How do you groom your hair on your genitals?

Do you even groom it at all?

In my slutty days, I was all about keeping everything totally shaved all the time. Then I got older and realized that ingrown hairs and being itchy all the time happen way less when you just let it all grow out. One November, I let all my body hair grow (for No-Shave November) but then I just liked my bush so much that I kept it. For my wedding, I shaved the whole fucking thing off to surprise my wife but then on the honeymoon when it was coming back in, I remembered why shaving my box was a bad idea.

It’s just annoying, honestly.

#BushForLife

I’ve never seen a razor brand try to go out on a limb by advertising for audiences that might not shave, which is why I’m so fascinated by this ad by Billie razors. It’s a cheeky, sexy take on grooming and making personal decisions about how we decide to handle our own maintenance.

Don’t like shaving? They’re OK with that.

Have a little fuzz on your labia you want to clean up? They can help

Here’s the ad that celebrates bodies of all types and hair that exists or doesn’t.

For more than 100 years, women’s razor brands haven’t shown women’s body hair… until now. Introducing Project Body Hair. A celebration of body hair, wherever it is or isn’t. See more: https://t.co/UdKKQApFoF. pic.twitter.com/Aj4CNTtdHQ

— Billie (@billiebody) June 26, 2018

Tell me all about how you handle your body hair, Peepz. Do you shave, trim or let the jungle grow wild?

Let me know in the comments below or hit me up on twitter with your hair removal stories.

Image: Ana Foxxx in Dripping the Ball by Brazzers

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Masturbating in Silence

I always arrive at work much earlier than the rest of the staff. It’s nice to work for an hour or so in the supreme quiet of the library. It’s the type of silence where you can hear every single noise if it happens, because nothing is supposed to be there at all.

Last Tuesday, I pulled into my parking spot 20 minutes before my swipe card would even work. It was raining so I didn’t feel like going for my usual walk. I decided to scroll through PornHub in my car to pass the time and find some videos for this week’s Fap Along. After 3 or 4 clips, I wasn’t able to ignore the aching in my pussy, but I had to because I had to go into the office.. I grabbed all my stuff and decided to wait by the doors to distract myself until I was able to get in.

At 6:28, the red light on the card swiper turned to green and I ran my ID through. All the lights in the building were off, so I flipped each of them, marking my path like breadcrumbs. The atrium of the building is massive and the ceiling is mostly made of glass. Rainbows paint the floor in the afternoon when the sun is sinking, but that morning the rain made it mysteriously romantic. The droplets were dancing on the ceiling as I walked across the massive room toward my small corner office.

I stopped for a second and listened with my eyes closed. It was so peaceful, calm and completely still.

My bags slipped out of my fingers and fell to the floor. Even though I knew the loud, “THUD,” was coming, I still jumped, then laughed at myself for being scared.

I sad down on the cold, polished tiles and looked up at the ceiling.

Was I really going to do this?

You know me much better than that, Peepz.

Pulling my dress up to my hips and pointing my pussy away from the main entrance, I laid back. PornHub had already made my pussy so slick that my panties were damp when I slipped my hand into them. My ears became super sonic while I listened, really listened, to the noises that my fingers made while they circled my clit. It was only minutes before my back started to arch with an impending orgasm, but at the same time, I heard the, “Beep!” of someone swiping their card to get into the library.

I opened my eyes wide and feverishly made myself cum, basically orgasming, standing and grabbing my bags at the same time. The quick movements made me dizzy but I steadied myself and trudged towards my office.

Curiosity got the best of me so I put everything down by my desk, grabbed my coffee cup and headed back out to the atrium.

“Good morning!” I said to the library director on my way to the break room.

“Good morning,” she grumbled, “Watch your step, I think the ceiling is leaking. There’s a puddle in the middle of the floor.”

I blushed for reasons only we understand and thanked her for the warning.

Image: Late Night at the Library by Brazzers

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Jennifer Lopez Tinder Takeover?!

Dating is always rough. Before the rise of the Internet, there were too few choices and not enough substance. Now, there are so many people on the Internet that sifting through them to find people that you click with is tiring.

I think that some of us also get disheartened when we continuously have first dates that are flops For me, dating was a hobby. I’d scour the Internet on the daily having conversations with new people. By the time that they weekend arrived, I’d have everything set up and ready to go. Sometimes I’d double stack my Saturdays with brunch dates with people I wanted to get to know more and night dates, with people who I was probably going to end up fucking.

There was a science to it, I swear.

I’ve never had a Tinder profile because I got out of the game before it was a big thing. My conception before watching this Jennifer Lopez Tinder Takeover, was that Tinder was full of Creepy Mc Creepersons who were looking to bang and leave.

This is apparently not the case.

J Lo sits for a conversation with a woman named Brooke who is looking for a manly man who can fix her car and chop wood.

She has no wood to chop

While Brook is off asking unimportant messages like, “Can you chop wood?” Jennifer is schooling her and asking her what she NEEDS. If you don’t have a fireplace, you don’t need a partner that can chop wood. Also, basically everyone can chop wood. Axes are sharp.

J Lo believes that Brooke should before 33, men are useless when it comes to dating for the long term.

Older men were always the ones that got what I was looking for. I didn’t want a commitment, I wanted to have a good time, but I also wanted the consistency of seeing someone more than once. There’s this thing that happens inside the heads of younger men where they don’t understand that there is plenty of gray area to move around in between the statuses of “one night stand,” and “You’re my boyfriend, come meet my parents.”

Younger guys don’t always see that.

Here’s the video of J Lo and Brooke going through the motions and trying to find love in the Tinder wilderness:

What do you Peepz think about J Lo’s dating advice and Tinder in general?
Are you having any luck on any other dating apps out there? Let me know in the comments or hit me up on twitter.

Image: Jennifer Lopez’s Instagram

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Fap Along With Harlot: Rough and Raw

The way that sex feels at the beginning of a relationship is almost primal. The anticipation of fucking someone for the first time is a feeling that I miss sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife, but I don’t think we ever had more passionate sex than the first time.

I wanted to put together a Fap Along list today that was primal, rough and raw. Here are some PornHub clips that I’ve discovered that get me in the mood to recreate that first time all over again. You ready for action? Grab your favorite jizz sock and let’s get down to business.

Two hot ladies, one leather crop and a whole lot of licking. I loved how demanding the top was when she wants to cum and how into it she gets when her partner is knee deep in her butthole. It’s sexy as fuck and a nice appetizer for what’s to come (that would be me).

Keeping it classy, Johnny Sins gets his dick deep inside the fuck hole of Veronica Rodriguez in this Brazzers clip. She takes it like a pro and squirts all over him as he teaches her how her pussy works.

There is no one that fucks like Rocco Siffredi. Every porno movie that he is in is automatically intense and passionate. He turns adult entertainers into pornstars with his magic dick. There are two hotties and one dick in the room but that’s all you need for a good time.

Kimmy Olsen has a thick ass that she loves showing off. She gets totally owned by the cock in this PAWG/Bang Bros video. Wait till you see where the cum shot goes.

Peepz, this is the biggest cock I have ever seen in my life. I enjoyed watching this guy fuck so much that I ended up heading down a rabbit hole of his scenes for 4 hours the other day. While it was amazing, I didn’t get the rest of my writing done, so that kind of sucked. Are you ready to experience Julio Gomez in all his BBC glory?

That’s all for this week, Peepz. If you’d like a Fap Along of your very own, hit me up in the comments or get in touch on twitter

Image: What’s Up Her Ass

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A Break-In Story Which is Truly Gr-r-reat!

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

Where would this world be without dumb, incompetent and/or hapless criminals?

OK, so strictly speaking the world would probably be a much better place if it was entirely criminal-free. But since a criminal-free world probably isn’t possible, at least inept criminals give us loads of hilarious news stories, facepalm-worthy security camera footage and jaw-dropping trial transcripts for our amusement.

Did He Smell The Milk First, At Least?

Ordinarily, I’d say there’s nothing funny about a woman waking up in the middle of the night to discover there’s an intruder in her bedroom.

But when that intruder who is in her bedroom benignly says hello, then leaves the bedroom without incident upon being told to get out, only to then be rediscovered in her kitchen eating Frosted Flakes, the story’s funny kinda starts to overshadow its creepy.

“They startled him, and they hollered at him and he went into the kitchen and they discovered he was sitting in their kitchen eating Frosted Flakes,” explained Sylvania Police Chief Paul Long.

It’s not clear what the man’s motive was for the breaking and entering (and eating) escapade, but I do have a theory: I think he may have been preparing to hop in a kayak and shoot some nearby rapids. Either that, or he was trying to figure out Tony the Tiger’s secret formula and the house had no basement in which to hide.

In any event, at least he didn’t turn out to be a cereal-killer, right?

The man “didn’t harm them, touch them, anything like that,” according to Chief Long.

“At this point we’re not sure if there was any property missing, but obviously a very unusual circumstance,” Chief Long added.

Sir, That Video Booth Is Designed For Masturbating, Not Camping

As it turns out, breaking into the home to have a little breakfast was not the first caper pulled by the Frosted Flakes Bandit on the evening in question.

“Police later were approached by a clerk at Four Star Books adult entertainment store,” reports WTOL.com. “He told police the suspect in first incident matched the description of a man he’d just thrown out of his store because he was drunk and passed out in the viewing booth.”

I just hope the Bandit deposited a couple bucks’ worth of quarters before curling up for his surreptitious video booth nap. After all, while I can sympathize with the sudden need to take a nap when one is both a wee tipsy and quite sleepy (I think “drunk” and “passed out” are both too harsh and speculative to use as descriptors here), brick and mortar adult stores have enough trouble turning a profit without guys crashing out in their video booths.

Seriously guys, any time you simply must catch a few Zs in an environment which smells like dried-up semen, give the nation’s underpaid, underappreciated porn store clerks a break and find a fraternity house which doesn’t mind serving as an impromptu dude hostel.

See Something, Say Something Take Pics

Noting that the front door to the home invaded by the Frosted Flakes Bandit was unlocked at the time of the incident, Chief Long reminded people of the importance of locking up, even when you’re at home – and encouraged residents of his jurisdiction to keep an eye out for trouble on each other’s behalf.

“The neighbors are the ones who know what belongs in their neighborhood and what doesn’t, what’s out of place,” Chief Long said. “The old ‘see something, say something,’ really does apply. If you think something’s not right, call. We’ll come out and check it out.”

While I appreciate the wisdom and truth of Chief Long’s words, I would add to them a small request of my own: If what you see is some strange man eating Frosted Flakes in your neighbor’s kitchen, please – for the sake of worldwide netizen amusement – take pics before you dial 911.

Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:

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Risky Courthouse Sex

The rush of public sex gets me going. I don’t get off on being caught, but the anxiety of that possibility is totally part of why I like it so much. While paying attention to my lover is my main focus, I always make it a point to keep my ears and eyes open just in case someone is going to find us.

I’ve had sex with my wife all over the place, in cornfields, theme parks, at work but there seems to be a surplus of people who are willing to take the ultimate risk and fuck while they are in court. That’s totally ballsy and I love it even though I’d never be able to do it myself. Courthouses are crawling with cops and other law abiding citizens. Both of those things creep me out.

A couple in Alexandria, Louisiana got snagged while they were getting it on in a stairwell. Miguel Glorioso is a 20-year-old inmate trusty who was supposed to be on cleaning duty while he was knee deep in pussy. The woman, Jamie Lee Coutee, is 19 and was just trying to help her man out. He had been in jail on drug charges but had gained enough clout that he was able to handle work tasks outside of the prison. It’s kind of romantic, when you think about it. If you’re missing the magical way your partner feels when you are all wrapped up in them, you’ll do almost anything to get your hands on that sensation, including meeting up with them while they’re cleaning a courthouse.

They got caught because a courthouse employee got nosey after they heard a “commotion” in the stairwell.

Narks.

Rule number 1 of having sex in public when people are around? Keep it quiet.

Body noises will happen, but you’ve got to keep your mouth shut and your ears open. If they only thing you can hear is your own moaning, you’re probably going to get discovered.

That’s part of the fun though. My “Places to have Public Sex,” bucket list is a mile long and growing every day. As one of my favorite Peeperz commenters of all time, Robonino123, mentioned on my post about another sexy courtroom adventure, “People have sex everywhere you just don’t know about.”

It’s totally true.

Both Miguel and Jamie Lee were arrested and are facing obscenity charges, as well as unrelated drug charges. At least they have a hell of a story to tell.

How long of a stretch have you gone without fucking? Would you resort to illegal indiscretions if it meant ending your drout? Let me know in the comments below or hit me up on twitter.

Here’s a clip of Lisa Ann and Danny Mountain taking care of courtroom orgasm business because, you know, porn.

Source: WDSU

Image: Jaylene Rio in Courthouse Cunt Slam by Brazzers

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Portland Photographer Creates Stripper Trading Cards

I’ve always been a sucker for collectables. From POGs to comic books, there’s something comforting about filling gaps in your collection and completely ripping off less knowledgeable friends with unfair trades. However, as a I grew up my interest in these things was quickly replaced by an obsession with boobs.

Thanks to the work of a photographer from Portland, Oregon there may now be an intersection of my current and former passions.

According to Jason Savage, his hometown of Portland is famous for a lot more than hipsters and craft beers. The city is also home to a number of well known exotic dancers whom he got to know on a personal level while hanging out at bars and strip clubs. During this time, he came up with the idea to create a series of trading cards that feature some of the city’s most famous strippers- kind of like baseball cards but sexier.

A few years later his idea became a reality and the set of 69 cards are now available for purchase.

The point of creating the trading cards is to humanize the city’s exotic dancers. While most of them are well known for getting naked and dancing on stage, most people may not know them on any kind of personal level.

Described as being more artistic than erotic, the cards don’t feature any nudity. Instead they have the dancers posing in a way that highlights their individual personalities and features their name and a quote on the back.

Savage plans on donating the proceeds from his card sales to a couple of sex-positive charities in Portland as well as one that works to end sexual assault and victim blaming. He also hopes the cards themselves will make a statement about the legitimacy of sex work in the United States and chose models that highlight a wide spectrum of strippers.

The complete set of 69 cards called Stripping Out Loud can be purchased for $21, but that’s kind of ruins the whole “trading” part of collectable cards. Gone is the thrill of buying booster packs and amassing stacks of extremely common cards which are used to scam dumb friends out of single, more rare ones.

Maybe he could make a new set that also includes some kind of playable game with erotic damage cards, traps, and defense spells of varying power and rarity.

Via oregonlive.com

Image: Emma Butt in My Stripping Stepmom by Brazzers

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Pornhub Insights On Traffic Changes During The 2018 World Cup

The 2018 World Cup is over, and France has won their second title. They are now in possession of the most coveted prize in sports until they inevitably fail during the group stage of the next tournament like every previous winner before them. C’est la vie.

While my opinion of the sport is stereotypically American, I do appreciate the international banter and pageantry that comes with the World Cup. During the matches there really is a sense of global togetherness even if your country’s team failed to qualify.

I did enjoy watching a few of the matches but they weren’t something I would put off my regularly scheduled masturbating for. According to a report from everyone’s favorite pornographic statisticians at Pornhub Insights the same can’t be said for the rest of the world.

Their research revealed this year’s World Cup had a significant impact on internet porn traffic. Like always they have crunched the numbers and compiled their data into informative graphs for our educational pleasure.

During the initial group stage of the tournament, every country that participated experienced a decline in porn traffic during their country’s matches. The most significant being Senegal which experienced a staggering 47% drop in traffic. Whoa!

Meanwhile Australia experienced the smallest decline, presumably because of a lesser interest in soccer in favor of cricket or rugby. However, Russia’s second lowest drop of 6% despite hosting the tournament and having a strong fanbase could be because of people seeking relief after all the Russian porn stars regularly spotted by FIFA cameramen.

After the group stage was the first round of the Knockout stage where things got even more intense.

During their match with Portugal, Uruguay experienced the biggest decline in Pornhub traffic at 61%. Every country who made it to this stage experienced significant drops with the lowest being Mexico with a respectable 12% drop. With the average sports fans convinced they can send their energies through the television to help players win, this is entirely understandable

For a more in-depth look at how the 2018 World Cup and other major sports spectacles affected internet porn traffic, head over to Pornhub Insights to read more.

Via pornhub.com/insights

Image: Sarah Jessie in Sarah’s Slutty Soccer Jam by Brazzers

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Prisoner On Work Duty Busted For Courthouse Sex

While having sex in a secluded area of a public area seems innocent enough, it’s usually illegal and heavily frowned upon. I don’t really know why, it’s a victimless crime. If I stumbled upon someone banging in public I’d probably laugh, but it seems like most people can’t wait to report such things to the police.

We’ve long assumed that jealous prudes are the natural enemy of people who enjoy open world coitus which is why those of us with experience recommend picking an optimal location. A place where you’d be unlikely to encounter a law enforcement officer or someone with a penchant with following every unreasonable letter of the law.

Basically, anywhere but inside of a courthouse.

This was the harsh lesson learned by 20-year-old Miguel Glorioso who was caught having sex with his girlfriend in the stairwell of a Louisiana courthouse. The man was reported as being a trustee who was assigned to clean the courthouse as his prison work detail.

What could possibly motivate a 20-year-old man in prison to have risky public sex with his cute girlfriend is currently unknown.

There must be something about courthouses that really gets the juices flowing. Earlier this year we read about a couple from Russia who were caught having oral sex in a courtroom when the presiding judge retired to his chambers. Apparently, the man getting his dick sucked was awaiting sentencing and his girlfriend thought sucking him off would help sooth his nerves. While this may have worked, the act also resulted in a few extra charges to both their records and may have potentially increased his sentence.

For our brave couple in Louisiana, Glorioso and his girlfriend were caught by a courthouse employee and initially ran away without being confronted. However, that employee was able to identify Glorioso and investigators eventually determined his partner to be 19-year-old Jamie Lee Coutee.

Coutee was arrested and later released on a $1,500 bond while Glorioso remains in jail and lost his trustee status and courthouse work detail. Assuming he doesn’t face any added charges or time to his sentence, it sounds giving up unpaid forced labor for sex with his girlfriend was a really fair trade.

Via kalb.com

Image: Alexis Grace in Give this Man Some Titties! by Brazzers

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Let’s Think Before We Judge Our Kinks

I keep my real life and my life as “Alpha Harlot” seperate for the most part. Over the years, I have collected a few crossover friends but, for the most part, if you’re friends with who I am in real life, you aren’t friends with Harlot. While I understand that not everyone wants to see me naked and masturbating, my choice to have two identities is mostly because I like privacy.

Yes, that’s right.

The BBW who fucks herself in public places while no one is watching likes being private.

When a few Internet Peepz discovered my FB (that I honestly for real only made a few years ago when I switched careers) I lashed out at first. I was furious to be discovered and to be called out publicly or even privately via DM. I felt like it was an invasion of my privacy because, well…I mean, it was. After hurting a whole lot of feelings that didn’t need to be hurt, I’ve taken the “I’m just going to ignore that friend request,” approach.

The things we choose to share with the world about our private lives should be the decision of the parties involved in the behind doors antics. If the play is consensual and no one in getting hurt, keeping your cards close to your chest is probably your best bet. It’s super fucked up, but people judge and their judgements can totally affect your well being.

Disclaimer: I know absolutely zero about politics in the UK, so if anything you’re about to read is incorrect, please school me in the comments. Learning turns me on.

Conservative Parliament Member Andrew Griffiths is on a moral high horse most of the time. From the very extensive (read: like 5 minutes of skimming maybe) research that I’ve done, he seems to be the type of guy who loves to tell other people what to do based on the moral that he was raised with in his church.

He’s been wagging his finger telling the British people what sinners they are, but when he’s inside his head?

He’s a freaking perv just like the rest of us.

There’s legit nothing wrong with sexting or asking willing parties for naked pictures and videos…but when Griffiths does it, the media goes crazy and starts calling him a freak and a pervert…and there’s a negative connotation attached to both of those words (whereas it’s a term of endearment coming from my filthy mouth). He’s into BDSM and so his conversations with his less than discrete lady friends (who undoubtedly sold the story to some trash rag…That’s a guess, but I feel like it’s a good one) were on the extra frisky side.

No kink shame here…you know I’m down for some leather and paddling. I’d much rather shame him for his conservativeness because that’s got to be the mask. In my experience you discover your true self when the dungeon doors close. Life gets stressful and everyone needs to escape every now and then. I just think it’s kind of fucked up when both sides of your personality wouldn’t be friends the morning after.

Overcompensating for your own indiscretions isn’t the way to a peaceful existence. In fact, it’s pretty much the opposite. Everyone has sex and it’s kind of time we stop attaching that sort of pleasure with guilt and shame.

Source: The Guardian

Image: Veronica Avluv in Is It A Penal Offense by Brazzers

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Judge Orders Return Of $20,000 Illegally Seized From Stripper

Under America’s various asset forfeiture laws, police can legally keep any money they seize from criminals they put under arrest for doing criminal things. It’s kind of a finders-keepers system that is supposed to deter drug dealers from, well, dealing drugs. Unfortunately, these laws are often abused by less ethical police officers to harass law-abiding people who happen to carry a lot of cash.

An example would be when Miami-Dade Police pulled over erotic dancer Lizmixell Batista and her boyfriend for a minor traffic violation before essentially robbing her of $20,000 in cash. After searching her car without any probable cause, the officer found the cash and several legally owned fire arms for which the stripper had the proper permits for. Officers also found an unmarked bottle which he believed to be codeine cough syrup, so he seized everything placed the pair under arrest.

After releasing a press statement patting themselves on the back for what they called a “major drug bust” and removing an “arsenal of weapons, cash, and illegal drugs” form the streets the pair were quickly released without being charged. Neither Lizmixell or her boyfriend broke any laws and the arresting officer’s unlawful search negated the discovery of their codeine laced cough syrup.

However, when the erotic dancer asked for her $20,000 in hard earned tips back the police department refused. She promptly lawyered up and took the Miami-Dade Police Department to court and won! Huzzah!

It’s certainly no secret that talented strippers can haul in thousands of dollars in a single night. We once ready a story about an unnamed stripper on social media who posted her earnings from a single 15-hour shift at a high-end strip club. After it was all said and done, the fulltime college student and part time erotic dancer made over $3,345 in one night. That’s over $200 an hour in tips alone.

It’s not hard to fathom that a successful stripper in South Florida could be driving around with a large amount of cash after working all week, and may even own a few licensed firearms for protection… Unless you’re a Miami-Dade police officer.

Despite no charges being filed against Batista, the department decided to keep her money because they argued it was profits from selling codeine and hash oil. Defense lawyers asserted that the glitter-covered bills were earnings from the strip club where Batista worked and even had a witness that confirmed the dancer earned “significant cash tips” through her erotic dancing.

After hearing the case a judge agreed with Batista’s lawyers and ordered the police to return the $19,934 they seized during her arrest as well as legal fees. Sometimes the good guys do win.

Via reason.com

Image: Nicole Aniston in Lined Up And Laid Out by Brazzers

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Masturbation Roll

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Fap Along With Harlot: Quintessential Summer Porno

The New Jersey summer is hot this year. I’m admittedly more of a fall/spring type of gal. I’d rather wear hoodies and skull caps than short shorts and tube tops. My memory is pretty much shit, but I don’t really think it was as hot as it is now last year.

I needed a little boost in my summer excitement, so I started trolling around PornHub to figure out what kind of summer sex I am in the mood for. The answer? All the kinds.

Are you Peepz ready to fap along with me? Strip down, make sure you’ve got a cold shower on deck, and let’s get down to business.

Skyler Snow doesn’t keep her fuck buddy waiting long. She teases the camera with a popsicle while she’s wearing a swimsuit with the American flag printed all over it. At the end, she pledges allegiance to the flag with a thick coating of cum all over her pretty face.

It’s time for some LESBIAN POOL SEX!!!! Alix Lynx and Nicole Aniston playfully pose for each other first in bikinis and then in nothing but sunshine. Both beautiful blonde babes love to lick and splash around while we’re taking in the good views.

My high school years were filled with playing softball in the summertime. Anytime I see a team throwing the ball around it makes me think about sweating in the heat and running the bases. Priya Price looks pretty in pinstripes while she wiggles her butt for the viewers at home. She knows how crazy she is driving us, but keeps up the teasing for quite some time before the big bootie reveal. Though I legit screamed at my laptop, “Bend your fucking knees!!” when she was trying to hit the ball.

Summer vacations are the best. There’s nothing like the rush of making your way through the airport in order to get on a plane and head for paradise. August Ames is a flight attendant with the Mile High Club on her mind in this next Digital Playground clip.

Road trips are one of my favorite summer activities. There’s nothing better than grabbing some friends when you have a full tank of gas and no particular destination in mind. Johnny and Kissa Sins love going on adventures in their private lives. We’re lucky enough to join them in a road trip threesome. Get ready to cum though, it’s not going to take long.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. I hope you’re enjoying the great outdoors regardless of what continent you’re reading from. I’ll see you next week!

Image: Beach Volleyball by Brazzers

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Only Thirty-Three Percent?

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Kinder Eggs Are Dangerous

My wife and I don’t have a proposal story. We have like twenty proposal stories because we realized that when you get engaged, people tend to buy you free food and drinks. When we actually got engaged, we decided that we wanted to get married during a regular old conversation and then went to the jewelry store and bought two rings, splitting the bill directly down the middle.

After we bought the rings, we went to our favorite sushi spot to celebrate. The couple that was sitting next to us saw how gushy we were over our jewelry and asked if we had just gotten engaged. Of course we said that we had…and the strangers ended up buying our meal.

Sushi is fucking expensive, Peepz.

We walked away with full bellies, and $120 extra dollars in our pocket.

To celebrate both our engagement and the fact that strangers bought us sushi, we went to our local bar to celebrate again. We tried buying a round of drinks for everyone, but no one would let us! Every person in that bar tried buying us a drink. We couldn’t guzzle whiskey fast enough to keep up so the bartenders ended up getting a fat tip…and then the bartender paid for our uber home.

This was so fucking good that we decided to make a game of it.

Basically, once every weekend during the summer of 2016, we professed our love to each other in a public setting. Only twice did we leave with nothing being comped to us.

I know it’s cheating the system…but marriage equality in the U.S. had just passed and who were we to stomp on people’s happiness?

It makes for a fun story besides.

Know what makes for a better story? Putting an engagement ring into a kinder egg, stuffing the egg up your vag and then having to go to the hospital when your partner can’t actually get the egg out of your snatch. It’s a true story from a new book called This is Going to Hurt by Adam Kay. It highlights the author’s remarkable adventure as a junior doctor.

The woman in his story had decided that she wanted to propose marriage in an unforgettably remarkable way…and I mean, that totally happened, so I guess mission accomplished. You Peepz know that I love a crazy insertion but if you have ever inserted something into your (or your partner’s) vagina, just remember that if you relax, it’s easier to get the item unstuck. I hope the kinder egg couple lived happily ever after…and that they will one day brag to their children about how tight momma’s snatch used to be.

Would you Peepz say yes if your partner proposed with wedding ring that they inserted into one of their cavities? Do you think that’s romantic or nah? Let me know in the comments below!

Source: Spot

Image: Simony Diamond in Big Butt Wedding Day by Brazzers

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Do You Read Erotica?

One of the drawbacks to being surrounded by porno for 85% of the time that I’m awake is that I’ve gotten lazy with getting turned on. In my early 20s, I would print out super hot lesbian erotica stories on my printer at work and sneak them home in my purse. Watching porno wasn’t my habit yet, so I’d visualize the stories that I was reading.

Porno is everywhere now so it’s way easier for me to pop onto PornHub and poke around looking for a good video than it is for me to read though some erotica only to find out that it’s not the type of story that I’m looking for.

It’s legit just me being lazy with my masturbation habits. Visual porno is easy for me to find…Good erotica takes a bit of time to discover.

I’ve already read 80 books this year. Reading for pleasure is something that I do all the damn time (I’m PeriodicReader on Goodreads, btw…follow me over there if you’re a reader too). Zero books that I have read in the past five years that I’ve been tracking them have been erotica. I masturbate to relax and obviously to cum all over the place…Putting in the effort to move my eyeballs back and forth read erotic stories just isn’t something that I do anymore.

Do you though?

Sometimes I feel silly writing sentences and coming up with synonyms for the words, “penis,” and “breasts.” Maybe it’s just because I’m constantly going through the motions to get my posts done for the week, but if the words don’t flow out immediately, I feel like I’m forcing them.

Reading erotica used to give me so many ideas. You can go anywhere with the written word. If you are in the mood, you can have sex on a crowded subway with an invisible man. No one is going to judge you except for the notebook or keyboard that is helping you get the words down.

I think that’s why I’ve always liked writing and why I love the Internet so much. You can be anyone you want to be, you can experience anything that you want to experience…even if it’s only in the form of daydreams and mental exercises.

I get that my real life #VintageHarlot stories are hot. But do you cum to them? I’m genuinely asking because I’m curious. Are my short 500 word snippets enough to get you off or do you need more in order to climax?

Please let me know in the comments below or get in touch with me on twitter.

Source: The Mary Sue

Image: Olivia O’Lovely in Book Club by Brazzers

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Samsung Phones May Be Randomly Sending Your Nudes

I’ve recently returned to the world of internet dating and things are a lot different than they were just a few years ago. Being in your 30s on the internet in 2018 is like being a Baby Boomer in a 90s teen movie. Everything is faster now, I don’t understand any of the references people make, and it’s hard to plan dates around my current dietary restrictions.

Plus, everyone gets to the sexting almost instantly.

It used to be that after several weeks of dating you might send a tasteful tease as a means of interacting with someone you’re already sleeping with. Now it feels like once you connect with someone they want to see your genitals before you even settle on a first date. With the generally accepted order of sharing being nipple, dick, vagina, butthole I never really know when I’m going to need to send a pic to keep the conversation going.

However, being a 35-year-old boomer of fluctuating weight it’s not like I can just snap a passable picture of my penis whenever I want. There’s a certain amount of staging that must be done which is why I keep a couple greatest hits stored locally. Thankfully I don’t have a Samsung Galaxy phone otherwise one of these pictures may be randomly sent to a person on my contacts.

Wait, what?

According to several reports from owners of the Samsung Galaxy S9 and S9+, the phone’s messaging app has been randomly sending photos to people in their contacts without permission. These users weren’t aware their phone had sent anything until the recipient of the random photos informed them afterwards. How terrifying!

Playing Russian Roulette with my camera roll isn’t exactly my idea of a good time. If my phone decided to send a random picture to one of my contacts, there’s a 90 percent chance it would be a picture of my dog or some sushi. The 10 percent chance of it sending a picture of my wiener to one of my aunts would be a good enough reason to smash my phone with the nearest brick.

Samsung’s initial response to the problem was to simply ignore it. They blamed user error or carrier specific problems for their messaging app malfunctioning. When Reddit and tech news websites picked up the story, the phone maker finally acknowledged it and temporarily disabled features in the Samsung Messages app until a solution could be found.

Meanwhile it’s also a good time to send your crush a risky sexy pic to see how they respond. While I would never encourage anyone to send an unsolicited picture of your junk, sometimes you just have to take your shot. If it works out the end could justify the means, and if it doesn’t you can just blame the horny ghost in the machine.

Via theverge.com

Image: Nicolette Shea in Ms. Nicolette’s Academy For Exceptional Women by Brazzers

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Will Smith Has Had Enough Sex, I Haven’t

I can’t seem to get enough of the Smith family lately. A few weeks ago, I wrote about Jada Pinkett Smith and her refreshingly open dialogue regarding sex. Now Will Smith is talking about how he’s had all the sex he ever wanted.

I don’t think that’s even possible.

He’s got a new song called The Mountaintop that talks about how he’s done so much with his life…Made mad money, been loved by millions…and how he’s fucked every which way he can think of.

The whole point of the song is that he’s done all this shit and none of it made him happy. What does make him happy is helping other people out.

I get what he’s trying to say. He’s got everything he ever dreamed of and the he was still feeling empty. The only thing that made him feel whole was giving back to the world.

The problem is, that thing he says about having all the sex he’s ever wanted leaves me with a nasty taste in my mouth.

It’s like raw spunk gone horribly wrong.

How can you possibly have done it all? There is ALWAYS some new way to fuck or be fucked. The best part of sex is getting creative with it and playing around with sensations

Everyone gets stuck in sex ruts every now and then. We get used to the way our own hands feel and used to having “easy” sex that’s familiar. The thing is though, the Internet (and PornHub in particular) is a huge place with tons of freaky peepz out there. If you are feeling uninspired, just do a search on any of the PornHub Network sites for something random. Porno of everything exists, all you have to do is have the inclination to seek it out.

Here’s a PornHub clip from Blacked involving a BBC and a hitachi, because some pussies (like mine) can never have enough stimulation.

Peepz! Have you ever been in a sex rut? Hit me up on twitter or in the comments below and tell me what broke your weak streak!

Source: US Magazine

Image: Blake Rose in The Big Squirt by Brazzers

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Masturbation Roll

Peeperz presents to you the best sites on the entire internet:

Demi Lovato Straight Up Butt Shot of the Day – DrunkenStepfather

Taylor Swift Candid Bikini Beach Pics – CelebJihad

Amber Le Bon Braless in See Through Top – TaxiDriverMovie

Bella Hadid in a Sexy Red Bikini! Pokies! – The Nip Slip

Iggy Azeala Puts A Twist On A Hip-Hop Classic – Smoking Section

Darcie Dolce Strips Until She’s Naked! – BoobieBlog

Ariel Winter Slightly Pokies – PrettyHot&Sexy

Sexy Celeb Babes – Paparazzigr.tv

Follow Peeperz on Twitter! – We rock the tweets, join the party

 

Image: Cory Chase in Go HAM Or Go Home by Brazzers

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Fap Along With Harlot: Steamy Steampunk and Cosplay

This Fap Along is going to be slightly all over the place. My original idea was to pull PornHub clips that were 100% steampunk. I wanted clocks, gears, corsets and cocks. What I ended up with was the realization that not enough good steampunk porn yet exists.

GET ON THAT SHIT ADULT ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY!!

So instead of this being all steampunk all the time, I’m going to split the difference. I did find two exquisite steampunk clips, but then I started diving into the cosplay vids and realized that some of those were too hot to skip over.

You ready to fap along with me? Grab your favorite fuck sock and let’s get down to business.

Zoey Nixon is basically the reason that this entire mess of a fap along came together. She looks gorgeous with her bright red hair and steampunk garb. Her outfit ends up on the bedroom floor when the pussy pummeling starts.

I swear that watching Kelly Madison’s boobs bounce in this video gave me a hard on. There is no dick anywhere in sight, but my pants definitely bulged a little bit when she was running alongside the train. If you’re a big-boob loving perv, you’re going to get off in seconds when you see her outfit.

Joanna Angel gets dressed up as Wednesday Adams in this next clip. She performs a satanic ritual with a big black dildo to make sure that the meter reading cocksmith ends up in her bedroom taking care of business.

Costumes in the bedroom are always a blast. Snow White and Little Red Riding Hood smear their lipstick all over the dick that they’re sharing in this back alley porno video. The titty fucking in this one is off the chain, I swear.

I’m throwing this clip into the end of this post because I think a toilet paper mummy dick is hilariously sexy. Don’t try this scenario at home though, Peepz. Office mummy cocks are not acceptable in the workplace.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. I hope all your sexual fantasies come true this week, and if they don’t, there is always next time around.

Image: Rachel Starr in League of Pornstars by Brazzers

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This Sexpert Clearly Has Never Been To Arizona In June

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

I’m always open to suggestion when it comes to tips which are supposed to improve my sex life, but every so often I run across one which I can immediately dismiss as impracticable without ever experimenting with them.

Take the so-called “Hot Lunch” position, for instance, which has been recommended to me by more than a few sources. While I’m sure there are great oral pleasures to be derived from achieving and maintaining this collaborative posture, I’m equally certain that if I contorted my body to match that of the female figure in that diagram, I’d last about 14 seconds before I passed out, or developed a stitch in my side which caused me to cancel everything I have planned between now and December.

Other suggestions are probably great for people of the right body shape, but not such a swell idea for others (assuming the “Clock” position would be asking WAY too much of my husband’s elbow strength, for example) – or just fine if you live somewhere the summer temperature stays below that of the surface of the sun, but potentially fatal for those of who live in the Arizona desert.

No, The Birds Are Hiding – And Praying For Dusk To Come

“The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and our sex drives are at an all-time high,” sex expert Britanny Burr told Bustle in explaining her recommendation of the “Three-Legged Dog” position for the month of June.

From where I currently sit – which, for the record, is inside a climate-controlled living room in southern Arizona – I’d say we’re one-for-three on Burr’s list of June features here…. by which I mean yes, the sun is definitely shining.

“During the winter, our sex lives tend to take a little dip for various reasons, whether that be fatigue, or literally just the lack of motivation to go outside,” Burr continued. “Embrace the month of June and the entire summer for all the good sex it has to offer.”

This sounds great – except when it comes to the “motivation to go outside” part. Here in southern Arizona, the winter is the only time many of us feel particularly motivated to go outside, because here once April rolls around our UV Index number, on a scale of 1 to 12, rises to approximately 137.

Burr says Three-Legged Dog is “perfect to ease you into the summer heat with a little bit of adventure without pushing it too far from the winter slump,” but trust me: there’s simply no way to “ease” into 114 degrees.

You can melt into 114, you can possibly even evaporate into 114, but easing into 114 just isn’t a thing.

Read Carefully, Because Accidental Tip-Combination Is Not Advised

Sometimes, when I read things too quickly, I wind up doing things the author of the sex tip never anticipated and presumably didn’t intend to recommend.

In the context of the Three-Legged-Dog-for-June recommendation, for example, my brain somehow got the idea I was being told to fuck in the shower with my clothes on.

In my defense, both these position-enjoyment enhancements are recommended in the article, they’re just recommended separately.

“This position is AMAZING for shower sex,” Burr notes, before later adding that there’s “nothing hotter than the kind of sex that just can’t wait, the kind where you don’t have time to take your clothes off and nothing can get in your way.”

Thankfully, while I’d already decided trying Three-Legged Dog in the shower with our clothes on was a good workaround for beating the June heat, my husband vetoed the idea and demanded to see the article for himself before we tried it.

Of course, because he’s so easily distracted, instead of having sex in any position anywhere in the house, I soon found myself answering the question “What 10 books would you want when stranded on a deserted island?”

Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:

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GQ is Telling Peepz to Have Beach Sex

Sometimes fantasies are better than the reality. I think that’s the case most times, actually. You daydream about banging in public with someone ultra attractive. Then you find someone who is willing to fuck in a back alley and it ends up this awkward exchange of thrusts.

I’m not telling you not to fantasize…Fucking do it! That’s where the best ideas come from.

All I’m saying is that, when it comes to sexual fantasies, you should probably leave a little bit of wiggle room so that you can accommodate for errors while you’re trying to work things out. Don’t shoot for perfection, shoot for reality.

A big bucket list sex spot is banging under the boardwalk or just out in the open in the sand.

I have issues with beach sex. The issue is mainly that I think it’s terrible. There are so many fun places to fuck. When one single grain of sand could be the difference between an orgasmic romp and irritation so bad you’re begging for the sex to be over.

I don’t like those odds.

The GQ article linked below says that doggie style is the best way to fuck on a beach, whether it’s made of sand or pebbles. I totally agree with that. Keeping the fragments of ground as far from genitalia as possible is honestly the goal of banging at the shore. The only issue is the strain on your knees and the inability to switch positions when you get tired, or bored for that matter.

They also suggest fucking at night and being aware of your surroundings. Both are logical tidbits of advice.

The article didn’t sway my opinion in the slightest though. Hotel sex trumps beach sex every single time. I don’t care what the dudes over at GQ are slinging, beach sex blows except for in porno clips like this one from Brazzers featuring Tysen Rich.

Give me your opinions, Peepz!

Does beach fucking only belong in the movies or in real life? Let me know in the comments below or hit me up on twitter with your sandy sex stories.

Source: GQ

Image: The Dick Sucking Skater by Brazzers

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Neighbors Liken Woman’s Loud Sex Noises To Donkey

I’m a passionate but soft-spoken man. My general goal whenever I leave the house is to make as little noise as possible and my entire social life is built around carrying conversations in public with nonverbal communication. Unfortunately, when I do get excited I squeal with uncontrollable joy.

Depending on who you ask, giggling during sex is either the best or worst part of the Rick Roday experience. It’s not something I do constantly or even that loud- I just laugh when I’m happy and it usually doesn’t bother anybody.

However, the same can’t be said for a British woman from Stapleford, Nottinghamshire.

According to a post on a public Facebook page maintained by the community, numerous residents have complained about an unidentified woman who is very audible during sex. While loud love making is hardly worth complaining about on social media, according to ear witnesses the woman sounds “like a cross between a donkey giving birth and a very large excitable pig.” Oof.

Comments about the woman were made on a Facebook page called “Spotted: Stapleford” where members of the community can make passive aggressive comments about their neighbors. This seems like a very British way of dealing with minor disputes between neighbors.

As many posters pointed out the problem isn’t that a woman has loud sex in their neighborhood, it’s that the noises she makes are inappropriate and exaggerated. Maybe even weird enough to be criminal?

We once read about a man from Italy who was arrested for having loud sex with his girlfriend. The lovers caused such a ruckus in his apartment that 12 neighbors banded together and filed official complaints with the police. Officers had no other recourse but to arrest the man and charge him with disturbing the peace. Hmph!

Meanwhile for our anonymous heroine in Stapleford, things haven’t gotten that drastic yet. She even has a handful of supporters on the very same Facebook page that saw the humor in her unusual sex noises and suggested that the people complaining are probably just jealous.

I’m kind of inclined to agree with them. Game recognize game.

Via mirror.co.uk

Image: Mia Little in Big Stuck Butt by Brazzers

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A Social Media Platform Specifically For Prostitutes? Huzzah!

My cousin is a very successful hairdresser who is generous enough to cut our family’s hair for free. She credits her success to practice, constant training, and social media.

Despite being a less than technologically savvy member of Generation X, she forces herself to stay active on just about every social media platform that exists. Though she can barely use her phone to do anything else, she is able to interact with clients, advertise her services, and even manage her schedule.

As it turns out these are the exact same things sex workers use social media for- at least until recently.

When the United States Congress passed the Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act amongst other bills aimed at curbing illegal sex trade, they made it illegal for sex workers to operate on websites such as Twitter regardless of the legality of prostitution in their country. Left with few other options, a band of sex workers created their own social media platform called Switter where they could carry out their business in peace.

A social media platform specifically for prostitutes and the people who love them? How curious.

While FOSTA has the very noble intention of curbing illegal sex trafficking of people being forced into prostitution, many people are skeptical of its effectiveness. Advocates of sex worker rights were quick to call controversial bill unfair, saying it removes many of the tools freelance prostitutes need to work safely and independently.

Social media allows sex workers to communicate with and screen clients anonymously. This buffer allows them the safety of being able to find and choose their clients without needing a pimp or hanging out in the streets. Switter hopes a platform made especially for prostitution will prevent this from happening.

The sex positive social media platform is currently in development stages and will be hosted outside of the US and away from FOSTA’s influence.

If the US really wanted to curb illegal sex work, they could follow the example of numerous other countries and legalize prostitution. Regulating legal sex work makes it safer for everyone and dramatically decreases the need for people to be forced into illegal prostitution.

If only there was historical evidence that would show US lawmakers that criminalizing something in high demand for moral reasons only increases violent crime. Maybe a period of American history where a recreational activity was made illegal but quickly reversed because of the huge spike in brutal organized crime it created.

Oh well, oh well.

Via usatoday.com

Image: Brooke Sinclaire in Dicks For Pics by Brazzers

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