My wife and I don’t have a proposal story. We have like twenty proposal stories because we realized that when you get engaged, people tend to buy you free food and drinks. When we actually got engaged, we decided that we wanted to get married during a regular old conversation and then went to the jewelry store and bought two rings, splitting the bill directly down the middle.
After we bought the rings, we went to our favorite sushi spot to celebrate. The couple that was sitting next to us saw how gushy we were over our jewelry and asked if we had just gotten engaged. Of course we said that we had…and the strangers ended up buying our meal.
Sushi is fucking expensive, Peepz.
We walked away with full bellies, and $120 extra dollars in our pocket.
To celebrate both our engagement and the fact that strangers bought us sushi, we went to our local bar to celebrate again. We tried buying a round of drinks for everyone, but no one would let us! Every person in that bar tried buying us a drink. We couldn’t guzzle whiskey fast enough to keep up so the bartenders ended up getting a fat tip…and then the bartender paid for our uber home.
This was so fucking good that we decided to make a game of it.
Basically, once every weekend during the summer of 2016, we professed our love to each other in a public setting. Only twice did we leave with nothing being comped to us.
I know it’s cheating the system…but marriage equality in the U.S. had just passed and who were we to stomp on people’s happiness?
It makes for a fun story besides.
Know what makes for a better story? Putting an engagement ring into a kinder egg, stuffing the egg up your vag and then having to go to the hospital when your partner can’t actually get the egg out of your snatch. It’s a true story from a new book called This is Going to Hurt by Adam Kay. It highlights the author’s remarkable adventure as a junior doctor.
The woman in his story had decided that she wanted to propose marriage in an unforgettably remarkable way…and I mean, that totally happened, so I guess mission accomplished. You Peepz know that I love a crazy insertion but if you have ever inserted something into your (or your partner’s) vagina, just remember that if you relax, it’s easier to get the item unstuck. I hope the kinder egg couple lived happily ever after…and that they will one day brag to their children about how tight momma’s snatch used to be.
Would you Peepz say yes if your partner proposed with wedding ring that they inserted into one of their cavities? Do you think that’s romantic or nah? Let me know in the comments below!
Source: Spot
Image: Simony Diamond in Big Butt Wedding Day by Brazzers
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