Sex With An Ex: Not As Big A Trap As We Think?

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Are People Having Sex With Mystical Fairies? Maybe!

According to an online survey 44% of people in the UK believe in fairies. Considering every work of fantasy has been set in a fictionalized version of ancient Europe that’s not too difficult to comprehend. Also 44% is also my rough estimate for the number of people in the UK who do hallucinogenic drugs.

My personal favorite fantasy book is the novelization of the movie Willow. In it there are mischievous brownies, or tiny wise-cracking goblins, who provide comic relieve and occasional small but heroic feats. If magical beings existed in nature this is how I would imagine them.

Meanwhile in the UK people not only believe fairies actually exist, but they see them while having sex outdoors. Hmm!

In his book, “Magical Folk: British & Irish Fairies,” Dr. Simon Young relates accounts from people who have seen fairies and some of the encounters are very sexual. Apparently the erotic images of Tinkerbell my weird uncle sometimes posts on Facebook are not too far from the truth.

One story in his book is from a couple who were having sex against a tree. While in the middle of their outdoor fucking they found themselves surrounded by small lights that they eventually recognized as fairies. The creatures watched the couple have sex because when you’re a few inches tall and made of light nothing is hotter than watching a couple of hairy titans bang each other.

As a North America the idea of fairies, gnomes, and other magic beings in nature just don’t appeal to me. That being said, I did always wonder how David the Gnome and his wife had sex. The rubbing of noses instead of kissing really threw me for a loop.

At any rate if you’re having sex in a forest and see sex-crazed magic nymphs that are trying to join in, you should probably do what they say. You’re also probably on drugs and living a much more exciting life than me, so anything discouraging I’ve said about your lifestyle is coming from a place of pure jealousy.

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Australian Military Wants To Send Sex Workers To Front Lines

Regardless of your political affiliation it’s hard not to love your country’s troops. The freedom to powerlessly disagree with your government is a fundamental right, but letting that sour your attitude towards members of the armed forces is kind of a dick move. These men and women are simply trying to provide for their families while serving their country so we can be free to openly criticize our least favorite politicians on Twitter.

Australia has a long history of supporting their troops. During World War I a recipe for a kind of dry cookie with a long shelf life called ANZAC biscuits was distributed so citizens could bake them and send them to soldiers fighting in Europe. No longer content with baked goods, an Australian captain suggested sending sex workers to front lines to help relieve stress. Cool!… or not?

While the idea may sound good on paper, apparently the spouses of men and women fighting abroad were less than thrilled about the idea of government funded prostitutes being provided to the troops. Oops.

The recommendation was part of an essay called “Sex and War – A Conversation Army Has to Have” by Capt. Sally Williamson. In it she suggests having sex while on deployment would help ease the stress of “loneliness or prolonged absence from family, friends, partners and spouses.” Rather than soldiers having sex amongst each other, providing professionals would make sexual partners more accessible.

Kind of like ANZAC cookies but with orgasms.

Given the distances military marriages endure, it’s no surprise to hear they also experience a higher divorce rate. While it would be easy to say married soldiers could simply abstain from sex, the idea of the government providing that extra temptation was too obscene for some Australians.

After realizing Williamson’s essay pissed off almost every military spouse, a spokesperson from the military quickly apologized and stated that it was not meant for public reading. Maybe it was just some of that Aussie wit we hear so much about?

Now if you were to train these sex workers to be elite soldiers, that would be different. Not only would they be able to serve dual purposes on the front line, but training a bunch of sexy prostitutes to sneak behind enemy lines and have sex is the exact plot of one of my favorite Brazzers movies. It would be the most patriotic example of life imitating art of all time.

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Breaking and Entering while Naked with Noodles

You know, Peepz, sometimes I feel like I write an awful lot about the goings on in New Jersey and Florida. There’s a joke that isn’t a joke around Jersey that when you turn 55 you turn into a snow bird and fly south for the winter. That leads me to believe that the whole “Florida is a pretty crazy place to live,” stuff is the fault of people who originally lived in Jersey.

If I said that out loud in public around here though, I’d be run out of town.

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written anything completely strange and perverse about Florida, so I guess the state is due….and this story is a bit of a doozy.

A man decided to break into a St. Petersburg restaurant called The Chattaway back on November 6th. He ended up stealing about $500 worth of materials (cash, a laptop and beer), eating a few chicken wings and helping himself to a beer. When the police reviewed the video surveillance at the owner’s request to try and catch the criminal, the officers realized that some guy eating chicken after hours was the least interesting break in that had happened that week.

The previous night, a completely different man also broke into the restaurant. The cops have identified him as a locally known homeless man whose name is not being released to the public. He didn’t steal anything, so no one is pressing charges. Instead he slipped through the gate surrounding the property and into grabs a set of bongo drums from an outside shed. After awhile, he breaks into the restaurant’s bathroom, takes his clothes off and then makes himself at home by heating up a bowl of instant noodles that he brought for just such an occasion.

I’m not going to lie, eating noodles while naked outside is pretty much my idea of a good time. Noodles are much easier to slurp when you don’t have to worry about getting your clothes all saucy. Naked with Noodles will either be the name of my band or the next sex position that my wife and I try. I’ll let you know how convincing I have to be to make that happen at a later date.

I think that The Chattaway needs a new security system or, you know…locks on all the doors or something. You know that wasn’t the first time the naked bongo man took the naturist tour of the facilities. Getting naked and playing bongos requires a bit of balls. It is no longer a chicken wing snatch and grab once you start pulling the musical instruments out of storage and doing your best Phil Collins interpretation while in the buff.

Also…I’ve got my fingers crossed that there was a heavy clean up happening once they realized that man balls had been in direct contact with some of the seating.

Here’s a PornHub video involving restaurant sex because it’s topical and porno makes me happy.

Source: News Channel 9

Image: Sadie Pop in Fresh Pussy Special by Reality Kings

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Body Modifications for Better Sex

In a former life, I was heavily pierced. Back in the late 90s, tongue rings were all the rage in my social circle because their boyfriends all loved the way the ball felt up against their cock. I say boo to that. You want your dick sucked “right” you better be taking care of my pussy first.

I never got on the tongue piercing bandwagon. I was singing in a few bands back when I was getting pierced and I didn’t want to risk losing the gigs because my tongue was swollen and I couldn’t sing properly. My clit hood is and inner labia piercings were my statement pieces. I’d whip them out at parties if the company asked politely. They didn’t really enhance my sexual pleasure, other than being able to pull my hood up to further expose my actual clit.

The Body Modification scene has advanced dramatically since I fancied myself a member. Skin implants are becoming more and more useful to the point where they are functioning a little bit too well.

In the CNET article linked below, they interviewed Aneta Von Cyborg, a Body Modification artist and performer. She is pretty sure that she was the very first person on this planet to have an electromagnetic clitoral implant. It was fun for awhile, but when starting cars and walking near oscillating fans gets you sexually aroused to the point of orgasming…I bet that can get old real quick. She ended up having the implant removed, but not after she had a bit of fun with it.

Here’s a PornHub clip of Jureka del Mar in the back of a taxi getting her pierced pussy serviced by the cab driver.

Vibrators being implanted in dicks is another mod that I think I’d enjoy experiencing. I fucked a guy once that had hard plastic implants going down the shaft of his cock. This was back in the late 90s, early 00s…something like that. It definitely added a little something something to the sensation of his cock inside of me, but the scars on his cock were fucking crazy. Granted, this was like 20 years ago, so I’m sure that techniques have gotten much better at this point. I wonder what happened to that guy.

How do you Peepz feel about the modification of genitals? Blowjobs with a split tongue must feel fucking crazy good, right?

Let me know in the comments below or hit me up on twitter if you’d rather tell me privately.

Source: Pierced and Playful by Reality Kings

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Want a Boob Printed Holiday Card? Get in Touch!

Our condo currently looks like the holiday season has barfed all over it. The menorahs are hanging out on the coffee table, waiting for their candles to be lit. Our Christmas tree has been decked and halled complete with an angel being eaten by Cthulhu. We have found ourselves standing in lines that are just a little bit longer than usual…and that means that it’s time for BOOB PRINTED HOLIDAY CARDS!!!

For over a decade, I’ve sent all of my Internet friends, watchers and readers a free holiday card that is personally printed with a stamp of my boob. It doesn’t matter what country you live in…it doesn’t matter if you’ve been watching my videos on Xtube since before I started showing my face, or if you’ve never even heard of me. My main object with all of this has always been to slide a little bit of love into your mailbox…that’s all.

If you’re curious about my boob printing process, here’s an Xtube video from YEAR where I give shout outs and do some stamping.

Boob Printed Cards powered by XTube

I’m totally discrete. I think that’s the main concern that people have when I start publicizing that I’m doing this again. People think I’m going to send them random perverse things after the boob print and other people who share their mailbox will find out that they watch amateur porno on the Internet. I’m not interested in ruining your life or blowing up your spot, promise. Just spreading some holiday cheer with my boobs, as some are wont to do.

If you are interested in receiving a free card, please either DM me on twitter or send an email to alphaharlot at gmail dot com.

Please make sure that you include the name and address you would like the card to go to in your message to me. I don’t put a return address on the card, so you don’t have to worry about anyone but you and I knowing where the card came from.

If you’re reading this and you want a card…please get in touch with me right now. Every year that I do this, people forget and ask after the fact. I always stamp more than I need, so it’s not a big deal…but to save us all a bit of trouble, just send the message now.

If you’ve received a card from me in the past and want to gloat about your Harlot Boob Print Collection, please feel free to do so in the comments below.

I’ll catch you Peepz later!!

Image: Harlot’s private stash.

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Masturbation Roll

Peeperz presents to you the best sites on the entire internet:

Josephine Skriver Lingerie of the Day – DrunkenStepfather

Aomi Muyock Nude Oral, Threesome, And Sex Scenes From “Love” – CelebJihad

Ana Cheri Big Fake Breasts in Sheer Top – TaxiDriverMovie

Eiza Gonzalez in a Bikini! – The Nip Slip

Jamaica’s Hedonism II Is For Chasing Pleasure – Smoking Section

Agatha is Naked by a Cabin! – BoobieBlog

Madison Beer – Wearing Bikini on the Beach in Miami – PrettyHot&Sexy

Sexy Celeb Babes – Paparazzigr.tv

Follow Peeperz on Twitter! – We rock the tweets, join the party

 

Image: Kimber Veils in Sandy Siren Of The Skies by Brazzers

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Fap Along With Harlot: Fall Fun

Hello Peepz! The air in Jersey is completely crisp at the moment and it has me feeling like I need some outdoor loving. This year, my wife and I have been exploring the options that we have for sex locations inside our home, rather than outside. I think she’s a little bit spooked because we almost got caught in a parking garage last spring.

Whenever I’m not getting the type of sex that I’m craving, I head over to PornHub to live out my fantasies through porno visuals. This week I pulled together five clips of some outdoor fun that mostly happens in the colder months. Are you ready to get off with me? Let’s fap!

Daring amateur Koskaet Leska looks pretty fucking sexy in her sheer black panties and stockings. Her boyfriend roughs up her tits a little bit before they get down to business while standing on the leaf covered forest floor.

When you’re living on a farm, you’re spending a whole lot of time taking care of your crops and tending to your animals. Dani Daniels can’t help but be impressed with the way Johnny Castle cuts wood so they end up making out and then fucking in the barn.

Cali Kush is trying to keep her thick ass thick, so she works out all the time. In this clip, she’s going for a run but ends up distracted by dick. Happens all the time, honestly.

I know it’s probably backwards thinking, but now that it’s cold outside, one of my favorite places to go is the beach. It’s a completely different place once all the tourists are gone and the parties have stopped. Luxury Girl, a PornHub amateur, knows what’s up. She sucks off her boyfriends dick in this clip while you can hear the water lapping the shore in the background. It’s kind of relaxing, honestly.

Bambi Blacks is new to the whole, “Having Sex Outdoors,” thing. You’d never know by the way she handles some dick on this hiking trail. She gets banged by her cameraman but she’s looking over her shoulder the whole time to make sure that no one catches them.

That’s it for this week Peepz. I hope your weekend is filled with all kinds of sexual adventuring. If you’d like a private fap along of your very own, hit me up on twitter

Image: Brooklyn Blue in Sex with the Scarecrow by Brazzers

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Sex Fall Lawsuit Bust

Accidents happen sometimes, Peepz. The accidents that happen when we’re naked in our bedrooms are sometimes the most embarrassing…but that’s only because of the stigma that society has forced on our brains. Sex is fun and passionate. When people accidentally get hurt during the process, it usually makes for a good story after you’ve had a few drinks. That’s not always the case though.

Claire Busby is a forty-six-year-old woman from Maidenhead, Berkshire in the UK. She bought a brand new bed from the Berkshire Bed Company and decided to break it in with a romp. Now, this bed wasn’t just a regular bed. It was a super king-size double divan. This is a pretty big bed with plenty of space for sex. It’s not orgy size exactly, but definitely comfortable enough for four or five partners to sprawl out at a time.

Things were going fine for Claire until she shifted her position and was “catapulted” from her bed.

It’s totally terrible, and I get that I’m fucked up for saying this, but I feel like when I replay that scenario in my head, things turn into animation and it’s a cartoon of some naked lady with overly large breasts flying through the air and hitting the wall head first. In a cartoon, she would have slowly slid to the floor and been no worse for wear, but in reality Busby suffered spinal injuries and is not forced to use a wheelchair for the rest of her life.

Claire blamed the 2013 accident on the bed and its manufacturer. For the past few years, she has been suing them for damages in the amount of seven figures. In the beginning of November, Judge Barry Cotter finally ruled that the bed itself was not defective, so Busby lost out on her case.

I think it’s terribly tragic that something like this would happen while sex was going on. One second you’re getting plowed from behind, the next minute you have a broken back and can’t feel your feet. Falling out of bed is jolting, but at least I’ve been able to walk away from every experience with that I’ve had.

What is the worst sex injury you’ve ever had, Peepz? Tell me all about it in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter

Source: BBC

Image: Alisandra in Free Falling Titties by Reality King

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Naked Man Running

The quiet, rural Jersey a few miles away from where I live is up in arms because there’s a peeper/streaker (and not the good kind) on the loose. News vans have been all over the place scoping out the main thoroughfares waiting for this guy to make his presence known again. While I’m pretty sure that he’s avoiding heavily populated areas, the media is all over this story like white on rice.

Over the weekend, my wife and I were out and about one of our favorite parks. Pokemon Go community day was happening and we were catching all the things. We were going to be meeting up with a group of other people that play, but we were running a little bit late because sex happens when she and I shower together. I love a double shower.

We were about to finish up and head back towards the car when we heard a rustling in the bushes to the right of my car. A head popped out of the bushes looking around super suspicious. By the time that I was able to say, “What the fuck is that?” and my wife turned to look, the guy had disappeared again.

I text our friends that we were headed over to the basketball courts and I swore I heard the same noise, but when I looked over at the bushes, there was nothing there. Super fucking creepy.

Now Peepz before I continue this fairly obvious story, I’d like to remind you that, it’s November in New Jersey. There is no heat wave going on. The high was 42 (degrees Fahrenheit) and the low was 31. It was the chilliest day of the season so far. We were bundled up in hats, scarves, gloves and our winter coats.

Why anyone would want to run through a park totally naked is completely beyond me…

But that’s exactly what happened next.

I’m assuming that all the rustling in the bushes was this dickhead taking off his clothes and preparing his polar bear run across the open field. My wife yells, “The fucking streaker!” as he’s like two steps out of his cover. Everyone looks over at us…checks out the guy’s flacid peen (I’m assuming that’s what they did? I mean, that’s what I did) and you see dozens of soccer moms poke at their cell phones calling the cops. Five or six men started running towards him, but the guy took.off. Like I’ve never physically seen someone run so fast in my life.

It was crazy.

The cops showed up two minutes later and we gave our statements (I hate talking to cops btw) but they still haven’t found him. I kind of hope that they catch this guy soon. Everyone is hyper aware of things that are going on outdoors and it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to fuck my wife when no one is watching.

Note: I’m not posting a source article because it’s a little bit too close to home for me. I don’t care if you google and sleuth stuff out yourself…but I feel like linking would be irresponsible.
Also, if you want to be friends on PoGo, hit me up and I’ll send you my trainer code.

Image: Running Buddies by Brazzers

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Sarah Bahbah Brings You Sex and Takeout

Food and sex are possibly my favorite indulgences. I had some free time this weekend so I was fucking around on the Internet, going through some news articles I had bookmarked to read later. That’s where I found some buzz about artist Sarah Bahbah and her photography series, Sex and Takeout.

The images, which can be found on her website feature post-sex situations that involve food. By snapping the pictures and memorializing the moments of gluttonous bliss, Bahbah has removed the shame. She is quoted in the article below as saying:

It was my way of embracing indulgence — indulgence in body, indulgence in desire, in mind, soul and cravings. Essentially, I wanted to be able to remove the taboo placed on women and eating. I’m someone who struggled with eating disorders for a big portion of my youth. This was my way of being like fuck society, I’m going to eat what I want, when I want and not feel bad about it. My focus was to remove the shame around indulging and really embrace your body for what it is.

I mean, yes. All the yes!

The photograph in the header image was auctioned off at the Museum of Pizza in New York City in October. The asking price was $20K. If I had that type of money to be investing in important pieces of art, I would have snatched that bitch up in a second. There is nothing better to me than eating pizza in bed while I’ve got an electric orgasm afterglow pulsing through my body.

Here are a few more of the images from the series, but seriously Peepz…click through to the artists website to have a look at the whole kit and caboodle.

What are your favorite things to eat after sex?

Let me know in the comments below or hit me up on twitter

Source: Market Watch

Images: Sarah Bahbah’s Website

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Masturbation Roll

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Fap Along With Harlot: So That Was…Unique?

Sometimes while I’m surfing around on PornHub I’ll come across videos that are uniquely original. At times, the title is totally click bait and when you watch the scene you discover that things aren’t exactly as they are “supposed” to be. That’s the case with the five clips that I’ve uncovered for your Peepz today.

I wanted to mash them all together into one Fap Along because I feel like sometimes no theme is enough of a theme to get by. I suggest you ready yourselves for this list though…it may be a bit of a bumpy ride.

First up we have a clip from Cam Soda that is titled, TEEN IN SELF EATING PUSSY AND SQUIRTS IN HER MOUTH. For the first few minutes of watching I was like, “Is this real?” but then by the end, when the ass hadn’t wiggled away or moved once, I decided that there must be two ladies on screen…one to eat…one to be eaten. It honestly doesn’t matter though. It’s fucking hot.

If you’re a fan of camel toes, you’re going to love this next clip with Lana Rhoades. She’s dressed to impress for her first hookup with some guy that she met on a dating website. Spanking happens first then the sex progresses with a bit of roughness. I’m not usually one for facial cumshots, but the way that he plasters her face with jizz is fucking exciting.

I’m including this next Abella Danger/Eliza Ibarra cum swapping clip because of the amount of cum that the two ladies share is pretty massive. We don’t see the entire scene, but there pop shots covering their asses, tits and dripping out of their pussies. They get fucked, they suck cock, and they play with each other as well.

Lady Sonia is a MILF with nipples for days. She’s loving her time at the local glory hole in this clip. Big dicks need not apply. This big boobed mature woman is looking to suck off the average Joe with her skilled mouth.

Finally for today, we’ve got some ASMR jerk off instruction for you. Miss Jenni P whispers softly into her mike, popping her P’s and making snake sounds with her S’s. Are you Peepz into ASMR clips? I’m intrigued by them because of how calm they make me. I’d love to hear from a few people who are able to cum from them.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. I hope you had a few decent orgasms while you were enjoying this batch of clips. If you’d like a Fap Along list of your very own, hit me up in the comments below or slide into my DM’s on twitter.

Image: Lola Chanel in Let Her Rest via Reality Kings

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This List Of Sex-Related Mishaps Is Missing Soooo Many Entries

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

When it comes to one-upmanship in storytelling, I often find myself at a disadvantage with respect to my peers.

In relating some of my more embarrassing work-related moments, for example, I will never be able to top my old friend Chris, who was once tasked with housesitting for the president of the company while the boss was out of town. On the first day of his duties, Chris “borrowed” the boss’ BMW (which he’d been told he could use “in case of an emergency”) to make a food run for our small office team, then proceeded to spill a massive take out order of Mexican food all over said BMW – pungent enchilada sauce and all.

Along those same lines, while I’ve had some unpleasant experiences as a traveler, I’ve never been kidnapped by a fake taxi driver, driven into the hills and held at gunpoint until I handed over every last penny I had on me – as happened to two friends of mine when they were traveling in Ecuador a while back.

Bumping Heads I Can Handle – Unanticipated Burns Are Another Story

There are some areas of life, however, where my cringeworthy anecdotes and tales of woe do appear to outstrip those of many other people. Unfortunately, one of those areas is the realm of “awkward sexual encounters” to borrow the parlance of a recent survey and blog post on the subject.

“Things can get pretty painful when lovers aren’t on the same page,” the unidentified author of the article relates. “In the heat of the moment, accidents can occur. In fact, roughly 99 percent of respondents said they’d experienced some mishap of this variety, and the most common form of misfortune was bumping heads with one’s partner.”

OK, sure – I’ve bumped heads with my partner, as I’m guessing most people have. I wouldn’t call that awkward, though. It’s unpleasant to knock heads, sure, but “awkward” implies the two of us might have some discomfort in dealing with the event, after it occurs. The only thing I’ve ever done after bonking heads with my partner was get back to business, as soon as possible.

There’s also a category for accidentally bruising your partner (or accidentally being bruised by them), knocking stuff off the walls, dropping people and a host of other things of which I’ve been a part. I’m still not feeling the awkwardness promised by the title of the article, though.

If you want awkward, what they need is something akin to a deconstructed “all of the above” subcategory for amorous environmental mishaps, which covers things like the time I hatched a plan to surprise my boyfriend by festooning the bedroom with lovely little candles.

It seemed like a pretty solid, romance-enhancing move – until later when we got down to fucking and wound up knocking several of the candles off the headboard, resulting in an unexpected hot wax shower for the two of us and a six-inch hole burned into my sheets, to boot. Good times!

Is The Word “Accidentally” Really Necessary Here?

Aside from finding some of the items it covered a little mundane or so typical they seem more typical than embarrassing or uncomfortable, reading over the results of this survey is good fun. But since I love nothing more than nitpicking, there’s something else which stood out to me as confusing and which I’d be remiss if I were to let it go unmentioned.

I notice several categories in this survey of sex-related mishaps which are prefaced with the adverb “accidentally” where that clarification seems unnecessary, or even gratuitous.

For example, if the subject is something awkward which happened during sex, do we really need to specify that someone “accidentally” vomited?

I mean, presumably, if you’re vomiting during sex intentionally, you’re doing so because you and your partner are into that sort of thing, as unlikely as that might seem to all us non-emetophiles.

On the other hand, if 11.8% of women and 8.1% of men report accidentally throwing up during sex, maybe humiliating sexual experiences aren’t an area in which my own tales of woe trump those of my peers, after all.

Oh well, there’s always embarrassing sports-related moments for me to turn to. After all, while I can’t say it would necessarily take the top prize in the Most Humiliating Moments in Athletics, I’ve got to believe my high school experience of my entire swimsuit coming off during a dive from the 5-meter platform would at least garner a Dishonorable Mention.

Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:

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Comedy Spit Roast

Comedy Spit Roast

What do you get when you cross porn and comedy? A damn good time. The innovative peepz over at Brazzers decided to have a comedy spit roast where laughter and sex allign.

These people are the talented people involved in the spit roast. Following their social media should be your top priority. While they all have completely filthy mouths, everyone stays clothed and it’s totally SFW visually…it’s the audio you’re going to have to make sure your boss isn’t listening to…I mean, unless you’re into sharing raunchy humor with your boss.

We’ve got Debra DiGiovanni, Lisa Ann, Liza Treyger, Charles Dera, Bob The Drag Queen, Bonnie Rotten, Missy Martinez, Guy Branum and Steph Tolev…Sorry/not sorry about all the hyperlinks Peepz.

You know what was cool about this idea? I think that sometimes people take filming porno super seriously because it is kind of serious. Masturbation is serious business…but it’s also hilariously awkward. I was kind of neat to hear Bonnie Rotten riff about her football field sized butthole and refreshing to see Bob The Drag Queen stand on stage and proclaim that because he’s gay and from New York, he’s better than you.

Here’s the whole video:

Even though you can legit tell who does porn and who does comedy by the quality of the jokes that they tell, it’s neat to hear some of our favorite adult actors out of their element and under the spotlights for a different reason. Being able to poke fun at yourself is healthy. One of the comedians reminds us that porn stars do the hard work to make us happy.

There’s a whole riff that BRUNETTE ON LEFT SIDE goes on about paying for porno and how it’s strange that we’re willing to pay for Wrestlemania but when it comes to porno, we’re only watching free clips on the Internet. It’s totally true. I loves me some PornHub, everyone knows this…but PornHub exists because of companies like Brazzers and Reality Kings that are able to support it. Throwing a little bit of cash back into the industry to support it is a really good idea. I’m a member of a few different sites that hire actresses that I enjoy watching…and that’s because if I don’t support them, there’s a possibility that they may disappear.

Don’t let that happen.

Support your local porn shop, support your favorite porn sites and support your favorite pornstars in all their non porno endevors. Clips like this comedy roast make the people we fap to multidimensional. When you check out their adult content and their clothed videos, they really become aware of how much you appreciate their work.

Source: XBiz

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Why HBO Sex Scenes Will Be Even Hotter

Back in the day when I had cable television and not a care in the world, HBO was my jam. I used to have house parties that centered around me cooking enough food for a football team while my friends and I watched whatever was the hot Sunday night HBO show. We flew through classics like Oz, The Sopranos, The Wire…all the good shit.

I think I liked the fact that I could hang out with my vanilla friends and watch pseudo sex scenes with a bunch of action and then discuss the shows afterwords (and during, if I’m being honest…I’m a TV Time Talker, my wife says). What was believable, what was unbelievable…who we wanted to hook up with who…who needed to be written off the show in a bloody train accident.

Because everyone equates HBO shows with sexiness and edge, they’ve decided to get ahead of the competition and hire someone specifically to monitor the sex scenes to make sure that the people involved are always comfortable and that the content is as real as possible.

Talk about Dream Jobs I Wish I Had.

The position was created because Emily Meade, who is an actor on The Deuce, realized that she wanted someone on set to advocate for her while she was performing simulated sexual acts in front of the cast and crew. In the show, she plays a prostitute in New York during the 1970s. On her average day, she’ll have to give a blow job to a dildo without batting an eye. She was uncomfortable bringing up any of her discomfort, whether it be with the room temperature or her nakedness, so HBO took care of the problem by hiring a woman named Alicia Rodis as their very first “Intimacy Coordinator.”

How awesome would it be to have that on your business card?

When a sex scene is going on, Alicia is close by making sure that the talent is comfortable at every moment. Before the scenes are shot, she reviews the scripts and makes sure that everyone is comfortable with both physical actions and dialogue. She is an advocate for the talent who has no qualms about stopping the take so that the performers under her watch are 100% comfortable at all times. The fact that this was basically unheard of before this point in time is a little bit unnerving. I was kind of shocked that there wasn’t someone looking out for the talent. You’d think that on set someone would be there to oversee every intimate scene and make sure that everything was above board.

HBO is so happy with the success of their Intimacy Coordinator on the set of The Deuce that they have decided to make it a standing position on every one of their productions. I’m so here for this, Peepz. Keep the talent comfortable and they’ll keep making gold.

Source: Deadline

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Pornhub Insights On Sexy Searches For Overwatch’s Ashe

The internet has been around for quite a while and during my decades of observing it a lot of patterns have arisen. For example, every time around this year some people decide to get really mad about Starbucks’ holiday cups. It doesn’t even feel like Christmas until the news tells me how a paper tube is attacking my wholesome family values.

More recently, an even more fascinating trend has developed: Blizzard releasing a female Overwatch hero that looks exactly like the rest of their female Overwatch heroes and the fanbase collectively masturbating to it.

We saw this just a few months ago with the spring release of Brigitte, a slender female badass with European facial features and a quirky personality. This time it’s Ashe, a slender female badass with European facial features and a quirky personality… and uh, a cowboy hat?

While Ashe’s uninspired character design may be further proof that Blizzard is losing touch with gamers, the launch trailer at BlizzCon was enough to get people interested in the sexy outlaw. Like always, the Genji mains at Pornhub Insights have been watching over the interest in Overwatch’s latest character and have generated some graphs to highlight their findings.

Within days after the character’s announcement earlier this month, searches for the term “Ashe” skyrocketed by more than 1200%. The extra interest in the franchise also increased, as searches for “Overwatch” more than doubled. Considering how much popular porn based on the popular E-Sports game already is, that’s an impressive feat.

Considering Blizzard is focusing more on marketing the game as an intellectual property to sell merchandise than improving the gameplay of existing heroes and maps, they’re probably happy with this influx of Overwatch porn. If it sounds like I’m jaded and using this post as a soapbox to vent my personal frustrations with the company, you are absolutely correct.

For a more in depth look at how Overwatch’s Ashe and other fictional video game characters effect the way people watch internet porn, head over to Pornhub Insights to read more.

Via pornhub.com/insights

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Just In Case, Maybe Still Refrain From Saying “You Smell Sexy”

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

As part of humanity’s ongoing quest to figure out which factors contribute to a greater enjoyment of sex, we get exposed to a lot of wildly different opinions about the key to having thoroughly enjoyable sex.

People often put a number on the contributing factors, as in “The 5 Keys To Great Sex” or “10 Unfiltered Sex Tips for the Best Action You’ve Ever Gotten,” or “13 Common Home Repairs: Tips & Tricks.”

Wait, please disregard that last one. That link was just in my cache because I’m thinking about trying to fix our leaky kitchen faucet myself – rather than wait a week for my husband to try, give up and call out some expensive plumbing service we can’t afford.

At any rate, when people aren’t busying themselves trying to figure out if there’s something they can do to make having sex more enjoyable, they’re busy trying to figure out if there’s some innate, ingrained reason other people enjoy sex more (or less) than they do, or enjoy having it more often, or are better at fixing faucets than they are.

OK, that’s the last time I’m bringing up the sink – I promise. (Sort of… Maybe.)

Does This Mean Sommeliers Get Off REALLY Hard?

For all my reading on sexual pleasure, how to enhance it, who experiences more of it and the like, there’s one question I’d never asked myself prior to today: Do people with a good sense of smell intrinsically enjoy sex more than the rest of us?

If the authors of a study entitled “Olfactory Function Relates to Sexual Experience in Adults” are to be believed, the answer may be yes.

“The experience of sexual interactions appears to be enriched by olfactory input,” the researchers concluded. “We discuss that the perception of certain body odors may contribute to the concept of sexual pleasure by enhanced recruitment of reward areas.”

I don’t know what “recruitment of reward areas” involves, but before we even get to that, I gotta ask: Does it matter what the “olfactory input” is?

Seriously, I should think that the better a person’s sense of smell, the less they’d enjoy their partner farting during sex, just to cite one not-so-pleasant source of potential olfactory input which might be offered while doing the deed.

That said, assuming the researchers are correct about this connection between the sense of smell and enjoyment of sex, I figure sommeliers must be among the most sexually satisfied people in the world – or at least within the wine section of the snooty “fine foods” grocery store up the street from here.

Apply This Knowledge With Caution, Fellas

While they raise an intriguing possibility with their “odor thresholds” and “Sniffin’ Sticks” (yes, really, they used something called “Sniffin’ Sticks” in conducting this research), it should be noted the study involved only 70 people, which is not a particularly large sample.

And while its interesting to hear that “women with high olfactory sensitivity reported a higher frequency of orgasms during sexual intercourse,” I do think people – and straight men, in particular – ought to exercise caution when trying to act on the conclusions of the researchers.

For example, when crafting new pickup lines, “Hey baby, want to smell my crotch?” is an invitation which should NOT make the list.

Also, if I were you, I’d tread carefully in dishing out odor-related compliments, especially to women with whom you’re not already intimately familiar. Frankly, “you smell sexy,” even if clearly offered as high praise, just isn’t something I want to hear from a stranger, in any context.

Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:

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Welcome to My Sexy Nightmare

Sex and Smell

Sex is an activity where all five of your senses can be affected. The way your partner looks, the mood music that is playing, the way their skin feels when you touch them, the way that their lips taste…all of these things can turn us on or turn us off. One thing that is sometimes overlooked until it’s an issue is the way that we smell.

Our bodies give off pheromones all the damn time. Sometimes mask the natural odors that our body creates with perfumes and other products, underneath it all is still our unique body chemistry. That chemistry is what attracts us to each other on a very primal level. Think about the last time you were walking down the street and caught a whiff of a food truck serving up something totally delicious. You tilt your head up and you are drawn to the smell.

Same thing with sex and apparently the frequency with which women orgasm.

One of my friends had surgery done on his sinuses to help with his breathing issues. The surgery was totally successful..but one side effect was that his sense of smell diminished a whole lot. A few weeks ago, one of his neighbors knocked on his door to see if he also smelled natural gas and my friend couldn’t smell a thing.

Totally dangerous stuff, Peepz. We take our noses for granted, maybe especially so in the bedroom.

Scientists at Technische Universitat Dresden performed a study that compared the sex lives of women who had great senses of smell with those who have terrible sniffers. They found that the ladies who could smell well orgasmed 60% of the time. While the other side of the coin was only orgasming 17% of the time.

That’s a huge gap, Peepz. Like HUGE.

In the Treehugger article that my friend forwarded to me (it’s linked below), they note that, because the environment is changing, so are our senses of smell (and taste, for that matter). Does that mean that we’re going to orgasm less? Or possibly are we going to find less pleasure in sex itself because our sense of smell is being dulled?

Sometimes I feel like all my physical senses are being dulled because of the amount of time I spend inside and in front of screens. I never even thought about my sense of smell falling victim. My friend also said that he had never made the correlation between the loss of his sense of smell and how it was effecting his sex life before. He admitted to me that, since he had his surgery, he has increased interest in sex but also the inability to perform occasionally when he gets the notion to have a go at himself (or his wife).

What do you Peepz think? Is smell an important part of your bedroom antics? Let me know in the comments below or hit me up on twitter.

Source: Tree Hugger

Image: Mindy in Smells Like Flowers by Reality Kings

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Sex Math, John Meyer and Why “Your Number” Doesn’t Matter

I’ve slept with a whole lot of people, but the only person I’ve fucked in the past 4 years is my wife. There was a period of time where I was doubling and tripling up on my lovers each week just because sex was my hobby and Craig’s list made it easy. The year that I turned twenty one, I only had threesomes because that was something that I wanted to learn how to do.

P.S. Even numbered sex partners in the room is totally the way to go, just saying.

My red-headed Amazonian ex-girlfriend once got into a huge fight with me because she wanted to see my “list” of people that I’ve fucked. She thought that because she was on the list, she had a right to see it. Know what? She totally didn’t and we broke up for the 5th time like a week later.

I kept my list because I was a responsible slut. If some shit came up and I ended up with a disease even though I was having safer sex, I wanted to be able to go back through time and contact the people who had been in contact with my pussy.

John Meyer is getting older and he’s reflecting back on his life. He’s been doing a hell of a lot of Evolving over the past few decades and he’s obviously changed from the man that he was in his early 20s. When I think of John Meyer, I think of him as a womanizer. Listening to his Instagram Live with Cazzie David was his co-host for the event and asked Meyer all the questions that we’ve been aching to know…including the fact that he has slept with less than 500 women.

Here’s a video of the full Live show with musical guests and all of that:

In the article linked below on The Cut, they do some intrusive math and figure out how many people Meyer slept with per year.

If Meyer lost his virginity at 24, as he had previously stated (??? I had no idea…probably because it’s none of my business), and he’s 41 now…Forty one less twenty four is seventeen years that he’s been having sex. If you divide that number by 500, it works out to about 34 women per year. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal that, as a famous rock star who loved romancing the ladies earlier in his career, he fucked 34 women a year.

And he doesn’t even cop to that. Sure he’s messed around with a bunch of ladies, but he hasn’t hit that 500 pussy mark. He says in the interview, “Being a famous man, is something like being a beautiful woman, in that, while there is always access, there is somewhat little desire.”

I mean…preach John!

You don’t have to fuck if you don’t want to. And you don’t have to tell anyone how many people you’ve slept with if you don’t want to.

Do you Peepz think it’s an issue if your partner has previously had sexual romps with “a lot” of partners? Let me know in the comments below or hit me up in my twitter DMs

Source: The Cut

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Pornhub Insights on Red Dead Redemption 2 Porn

Be it politics, sports, or entertainment I get all my news from the most trustworthy source I can think of; Facebook posts from people I have never met in real life. I consider all other sources of information to be too unrefined.

I recently started working full time for the first time in nearly a decade and don’t have the time derive my own opinions from newspapers. It’s much easier to stay informed through pictures with facts on them that someone shared on social media. However, there is one bold demographic of people who seem to let all current events and pop culture phenomena filter through one magnificent source- Pornhub.

People who search for trending topics on Pornhub to stay informed are the salt of the earth. These are good, honest individuals who know that the best way to retain information is to masturbate to it.

When somebody noticed a recently released video game generating a lot of buzz, they asked for someone to compile information on how such an event may affect internet porn traffic. Like always, Pornhub Insights was there to answer the call.

This time they have compiled some data on how the release of Rockstar Game’s Red Dead Redemption 2 has changed the way people watch porn.

Though the game officially launched on October 26, the final trailers and review content came out several days before. This prerelease hype left a lot of people yearning for more content about the story-driven Wild West shooter and apparently, they turned to Pornhub. Searches for content containing the words “red dead” spiked a week before the game’s launch before peaking at 731% above average in the days after it went live.

Given the game’s lengthy download time over Sony’s PlayStation Network, there were probably just a lot of gamers trying to find something to do while waiting. Pornhub is great for that.

When it comes down to it, there isn’t a lot about the Red Dead series worth masturbating to. Instead, users turned to ‘wild west’ ‘western’ and ‘cowboy’ porn as each experienced a significant boost in popularity since the game’s release. Just like my grandpa used to say, “the next best thing to porn about something is porn that’s kind of like it.”

For a more in depth look at how Red Dead Redemption 2 and other popular video games effected the way people watch internet porn, head over to Pornhub Insights to read more.

Via pornhub.com/insights

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Masturbation Roll

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Fap Along With Harlot: Take it to the Bank

Hello Peepz! It’s time for another exciting masturbatory adventure! This week, I uncovered five ladies with the last name of Banks. None of them are actually related, and I’m fairly certain that Banks is not their actual government name.

It doesn’t matter though.

The sex is money and you’re going to want to empty your balls faster than you’d empty your pockets at a strip club.

You ready to get off with me? Grab your favorite fuck sock and let’s fap!

Cassidy Banks can give some serious head. In this super sexy, sloppy BJ clip, she soaks her own titties with her saliva while she’s pleasing her co-star. Also, her butthole is super fuckable.

Beautiful and blonde, Briana Banks certainly knows how to please the ladies. She spreads her thighs wide while she’s wearing lingerie in this next video.

Sarah Banks shows off her sexy curves while she’s getting plowed from behind. She moans like crazy and you Peepz know how much I love ladies that are vocal.

Kinky cutie Blaire Banks wears glasses. You know what’s hot in porno but the worst thing to physically happen to you in person? Getting jizz all over your specs. One of the good things about being a lesbian now is probably that I never have to deal with jizz covered glasses again.

Rounding out this Fap Along collection is Katie Banks. She hooks up with her “brother’s” bff and has zero regrets. My favorite part of this scene is when she’s laying on her back with a dick in her pussy and she starts teasing her own clit.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. I hope your cumshots have been plentiful. Get in touch with me in the comments below or on twitter if you’d like a Fap Along of your very own.

Image: Amethyst Banks & Gracie Green in At Her Service by Brazzers

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A Delightfully Strange Week In Nakedness (And Half-Nakedness)

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