Do You Kiss When You Get Intimate?

I’m coming off of a super intense weekend of BDSM fun and I’m trying to decompress my brain so that the real, vanilla world makes sense again. Every time I go on a fetish “vacation” like this, I end up coming away with a fuck ton of stories as well as a few life lessons. This time around, I learned a whole lot about sensations and sensitivity.

So much of the kink world revolves around the hard hits. There is a completely opposite side though that falls into the category of sensation play. While I’ve always been aware that kissing is basically my favorite thing in the world to do, I don’t know that I had the right words to describe the actual sensation that comes over me when I am kissed. It’s the warmth and the closeness that make me feel completely connected and really alive.

Is that cheesy? Part of me thinks that it is, but the other part of me doesn’t give a fuck. Kissing makes me feel like I can take over the world and that is probably one of the reasons why I make out with my wife so much.

In the BDSM scene right now, there is a heavy focus on aftercare. It’s no longer just the world of spankings, floggings and hogties like my experiences were back in the late 90s, early 00s. Now there is a myriad of kink experiences that you come across, including the cuddling and soft touches that can make you feel amazing even after you’ve experienced an intense pain. It’s all different aspects of being intimate without actually having sex.

Psychology Today published the findings of a study about the effects of connecting by kissing, cuddling and massaging during intimacy. The findings may seem logical, but I definitely know a whole bunch of people who purposely do not kiss their sex partners because they want to straight up avoid having too intense of a connection.

The article describing the study says:

Participants who reported kissing, cuddling, and massaging during their last sexual experience were more likely to report engaging in other sexual behaviors during their last sexual event (including breast and/or nipple stimulation, hand stimulation of genitals, and vaginal fingering) and were also more likely to report higher sexual arousal and emotional intimacy.

Yes to all of those things! There are so many ways that you can connect to your partner that do not involve penis into vagina penetration. Sometimes it takes a bit of creativity, but even holding hands is enough to bridge your familiarity with another person to get a deeper understanding of who they are.

What do you Peepz think about kissing? Is it something that you do with all of your sex partners or do you save your lips for the people who you really connect with?

Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Source: Psychology Today

Image: Amia Miley and Natasha White in Kissing Lips by Reality Kings

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