I have a few glass dildos that look like pieces of art. Back before I met my wife, I would keep them on my coffee table as conversation starters. Honestly, very few people even recognized what they were and I was always totally OK with that.
I love the idea of objects with a sexualized use being seen as everyday household objects. Is that a cock ring or a napkin ring on the dining room table? Wait, I didn’t think you had a dog, why is there a dog collar and leash hanging up in your bedroom?
No grandma, those aren’t socks…those are my masturbation sleeves.
Wait, what?
A Japanese twitter user that goes by the name AnalKABAO posed a hilarious thread after he caught his grandmother with his masturbations sleeves on her feet. She was cold, so she wandered into her grandson’s room to grab a pair of thick socks. I am absolutely dying for someone to translate what is being said in these videos though.
お婆ちゃんに「あんたの部屋にあった冷え性用の靴下借りたで〜」って言われて そんなんあったっけ？って思いながらお婆ちゃん見に行ったら、どっからどう見てもこの前買ったオナホール履いててガチで震えが止まらない pic.twitter.com/HxM0vMIFKT
— アナルガバガバキャバオ (@analKABAO) July 5, 2019
I mean…Grandma. Did you not notice that you were putting your foot straight into what looks like a vulva.
21歳になって、お婆ちゃんの足からオナホール抜くことになるとは思わなかった… pic.twitter.com/cIhELB6HPU
— アナルガバガバキャバオ (@analKABAO) July 5, 2019
My wife and I watched that video 15 times, I swear. Every time we heard that snap, we started rolling on the floor. I can’t even imagine someone randomly grabbing a Fleshlight out of my drawer and using it on their feet. This whole situation reminds me of those masturbators that look like feet…but they have a vaginal opening randomly placed in the heel. We used to sell a fuck ton of those when I worked in the sex shop.
In case you’re interested in obtaining analKABAO’s grandma’s socks, he says that he is completely willing to give them away.
近親相姦で捕まりたくないので、お婆ちゃんの足カスついたオナホ欲しい人いるならあげます。（まだ暖かいです） pic.twitter.com/uJ23yt3MAb
— アナルガバガバキャバオ (@analKABAO) July 5, 2019
This story got me thinking about how we’re going to be decorating our new home. The gears are twisting in my brain and I’m wondering what kind of perverse decor I can integrate without being completely obscene.
Source: Daily Mail
Image: Nikki Benz in Toying with a Pornstar by Brazzers
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