Fap Along with Harlot: Girl on Girl Pride

I haven’t touched a dick in almost 8 years at this point. I’m OK with that. For a few weeks this spring, I was dabbling about the idea of trying out cock for a spin again, but in the end I’ve decided against it. There are a few very specific cocks that exist out there specifically to make me cum.

Because I’ve been contemplating my own LGBTQ+ status (I identify as Queer btw, she/her pronouns). I started taking a stroll around Pornhub for some of the best pussy licking ladies around. We’re going to enjoy five of my favorite clips today, but I’m warning you that you’re going to be a sloppy mess afterwards.

Are you ready? Grab your favorite jizz towel and let’s fap!

There’s no way that I wasn’t going to start out this particular Fap Along with Abella Danger. She sneaks up on Jasmine Gray while she’s getting off solo. Abella knows all the right spots to make pussies hum.

Real estate has never been this sexy. One of the hottest things about buying a house for me was definitely picturing myself fucking all over other people’s furniture. There is a fuck ton of power squirting in this clip, so make sure you don’t skip around.

Paige Owens, Zoe Bloom and Sophia Lux spend an innocent sleepover exploring each other’s bodies. BFFs always share the goods with each other, especially when they’re all in fuck socks and nothing much else.

Water gun fights and chicks in bikinis wearing short shorts? I’m so there. Getting soaked really seems to turn these ladies on, so they strip down to nothing and start the licking process.

There was no way that I was going to get through an All Girl Fap Along without mentioning the name Nikki Hearts. I’ve been obsessing over her content for a few months because it’s so fucking real. If you want to see what it is actually like when I’m banging one of the ladies in my life, this is it.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. If you’d like a Fap Along list of your very own, hit me up in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with some inspiration.

Image: Keisha Grey and Abella Danger in Day with a Pornstar: Keisha and Abella by Brazzers

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The New Traditional

Singaporean-Chinese Artist Charmain Poh  has many ideas about shifting the visual ideals within society. In her most recent project titled How They Love, she captures the beauty of a new tradition. Gone are the days where all wedding portraits include a masculine person with a penis and a feminine person with a vulva.

As we move forward with our thinking as a society, even the most mundane traditions have to change as well. People fall in love, people get married and people want to remember the day that they got married with photographs. Poh has merged the old school with the new school by shooting images of queer lesbian couples. In the background of each image is a wedding photograph of their parents.

I love the idea of merging the new love of the children with the timeless love of the parents. It’s very symbolic of the way that families must come together to accept the differences between our generations .

Here are some pictures from Poh’s project, How They Love:

When I got married, my ex and I decided together that we wanted everything to be as non-traditional as possible. We had a handfasting ceremony in a museum and had our photographers take as many unique pictures as possible. Selecting our wedding portrait was a difficult decision, but in the end, we ended up choosing a picture of the two of us against the backdrop of dinosaurs.

While she and I are on good terms right now, I’m blurring out her face because she doesn’t want to be associated with Harlot as Harlot anymore. I’m totally fine with that, but wanted to show you that not all wedding portraits are the same. This photograph is still hanging in our living room and will stay there for as long as we feel comfortable with it. We’re best friends and while our relationship many change as we get older, our love for dinosaurs and pizza will remain consistent.

Source and Image: Charmaine Poh’s Website

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Gimme Some Sugar

I’ve been lucky enough to receive some fairly generous gifts from men in my life. While the gifts have never been consistent enough for me to consider myself a “sugar baby,” I still acknowledge that the men who have given me gifts are often, but not always, looking for something in return. In my case, the reciprocation has usually been in picture or video form.

Sugar babies and sugar daddies (also sugar mommas etc) are often lost in the shuffle when discussing sex workers. Are they even sex workers? Accepting gifts for company seems fairly innocent to me as an outsider. You want me to go out to dinner with you and hold your hand while we walk to our cars? That’s cool…you spring for dinner and slip me an envelope and I’ll be sure to keep the conversation flowing the entire time.

It’s harmless as long as both parties involved are on the same page about the arrangement…or is it?

There are some schools of thought that believe that being a sugar baby is straight up prostitution while other people see a definitive line in the sand between the two activities. I see nothing wrong with either form of sex work, but the fact of the matter is that it IS sex work.

Even if you aren’t actually having sex with the men that are paying for your lifestyle, they are still paying for your companionship. Being arm candy at a company function or charity event is a dream job for some people. You get the financial benefit of being cared and the price you pay is being interesting.

Maintaining conversations with people can be VERY difficult sometimes. When the age gap is huge or when there are hygiene issues, I imagine it takes a whole lot of patience to put up with the company you’re keeping. There is definitely a whole lot of skill involved in being able to keep a straight face while an older gentleman is breathing his hot, sweaty breath all over your neck.

Believe me.

What are your thoughts on being a sugar baby/sugar daddy/sugar momma? Do you think it’s cool to pay for the company of someone else, even if you’re not going to have sex with them? Have you ever been propositioned by anyone else for a situation like this?

Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with your private stories.

Source: Psychology Today

Image: Holly Hendrix in My Mean Sugar Daddy by Brazzers

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A Bold New Sexual Frontier in Sports Recruiting?

Even if you don’t watch college football, if you are in a relationship with someone who does, if you own a television, or routinely interact with other humans, then you probably know the college football season has just ended with a contest between a team of waterfowl and team of… well, whatever the fuck a “Buckeye” might be.

I tried to watch some of the Big Game with my husband, but he seemed to be rooting for both teams (and maybe against the refs) which confused me even more than the rules regarding what is or isn’t considered a catch.

After a while, I just sort of half-listened while reading a Rolling Stone article about a bunch of dirty cops in Texas, because the game itself was pretty uninteresting.

The waterfowl defense just couldn’t tackle one of the Buckhounds (or the Shucksters, or whatever) and as a result he spent pretty much the whole night celebrating in the end zone. Also, the quarterback of the Buckshots appeared to be eleven feet tall and made of sentient, flexible stone – which seems unfair, but whatever; that’s football, I guess.

What I do find interesting, however, is a new college football recruitment tool which I believe could be a “Real Game Changer,” as Herb Kirkstreet of ESPN might put it.

Before we get to the Real Game Changer, though, I have to back up a bit and explain how this new recruitment device might come into play.

As it turns out, the Bucksnots not only have a giant quarterback made of thinking, self-propelled stone, they have two other quarterbacks who outwardly appear to be normal humans, but who can actually throw an oblong leather ball accurately enough over distance, and/or run fast enough, that the giant actually started out the year on the bench.

Now that Goliath has presumably established himself as the Buckhurts starter, the scuttlebutt is the other two quarterbacks – the normal-sized ones – might transfer to another school. This notion has coaches and athletic directors everywhere positively salivating.

While drooling is nothing unusual for football coaches or athletic directors, in this case it’s the prospect of a former Buckear quarterback transferring to their program which is necessitating the donning of bibs and use of sippy cups.

That’s where the new recruiting tool comes in. It’s an idea as brilliant as it is simple, and it doesn’t involve alumni or sports program “boosters” to deliver garbage bags filled with cash to mysterious figures standing in empty parking garages.

What is this new Real Game Changer in college football recruiting, you ask?

Two words: Porn stars.

Granted, not every school is going to be able to bring a porn star booster to the table who has the same sort of star power as Mia Khalifa, but not every university has a billionaire shoe company owner as a backer, either.

Think about it: What could be better for your program than to land the next Rob Gronkowski, or at the very least, the football version of Charlie Sheen? (I hear tiger’s blood is way more efficient in restoring electrolytes than is Gatorade….)

Another positive with the porn-star-as-recruitment-device approach is that it could help to level the playing field between big name powerhouse programs like the Buckfutters and smaller athletic programs at so-called “mid major” schools. After all, there’s a hell of a lot more porn stars in this country than shoe company-owning billionaires.

Presumably, porn star recruitment efforts won’t be limited to drawing in potential football stars (although clearly it will be limited to targeting athletes over the age of 18), nor need it be relegated to use at the college level alone.

Every off-season in every major sport, so-called “free agency” changes the face of teams and organizations. Last year, for example, the Chicago Bulls signed a tall, Spanish ectomorph named “Pau” to a contract without the use of a porn star. Maybe if they had used a porn star, they could have attracted a player who possessed all four letters needed to spell his first name? (I’m just sayin’.)

Only time will tell whether the full potential of the Real Game Changer that is the porn star recruitment technique is ever put to the real-world test of widespread use in the college athlete and/or free agent recruiting markets. Frankly, given the inherent advantage larger schools and pro teams from larger markets have over their smaller brethren, it might be the last best hope for true fairness and parity in sports.

Until then, here’s some advice for all you sports gamblers out there: When the spread is against them, always bet the Bucknuts.

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Vagina Breaks Up Fight Between Penis & A Dick

A man in a penis costume and a woman dressed as a vagina were prancing around the streets of Glastonbury in Somerset, England to promote two plays being put on by their theater group. Things were going fine until one man took offence to their costumes and started a fight with the penis.

What a dick!

He started shouting at the pair about how disgusting they were and that children could see them. As he became increasingly angry, he grabbed the hat off of the penis costume and threw it to the ground. Sensing danger, the vagina tried to calm everyone down and break up the fight. That sounds kind of hot.

Police were called in and the costumed duo decided not to press charges against the man. They knew they were out there to challenge society’s norms, and sometimes when you’re challenging society’s norms somebody is going to rip the head off your dick costume.

They didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose them.

Police did warn the pair that if they didn’t remove their costumes they would be arrested, and they were ordered to remove flyers which promoted the plays “Women Who Wank” and “The Penis Monologues.” A spokesperson for the theater group stated they were “deeply surprised” by the reaction of the police.

The street performances and the plays being promoted were meant to comment on some of the fucked up gender expectations in society, and the visuals were no more graphic than those in magazines and television that no one tries to hide from children.

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Do Couples That Run Together, Bang Together?

Running sucks. It’s boring, hard and if you do it too long your nipples and other tender spots will start to bleed from friction generated by rubbing against your clothes. In spite of this, running regularly is one of the best ways to keep toned and improve endurance – which means the only sane reason to run would be to maintain a healthy sex life.

According to a survey done by Brooks Running, this may be doubly true for couples who run.

The magazine asked 1,000 adults about their running habits and sex lives. They found out that 66 percent of runners believe they have more sex when they run with their partners. The data also revealed that length matters. Half of couples who run six or more miles felt that their sex lives were better as a result of it.

This makes a lot of sense if you think about it. People who run regularly are usually in really good shape, and sharing a hobby with your partner can lead to a lot of intimate moments.

After all that giggling, sweating and showering the only logical thing to do is screw around. I can also say from personal experience that nothing fires up the sex drive more than being in shape. My level of fitness fluctuates depending on what I have going on in my life.

When things are good and I’m hitting the mat regularly, I definitely feel an increase in my urge to bang. However if I’m having motivation problems and I don’t move around as much as I would like to, all I want to do is lay around and watch celebrity gossip shows in my stretchy pants.

It’s a bitter cycle.

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Man Calls Police Because His Hooker Was Ugly

A man from the UK called 999, the police emergency line, to complain about an ugly hooker. He went on to accuse her of breaching the Sales of Goods Act – a 1979 law that states all goods must match the sellers’ description.

Sounds like a pretty open-and-shut case to us.

The man claims to have contacted the woman before meeting her in a hotel parking garage. Apparently when she was finally in his car, he realized she was not as good looking as she made herself out to be. He brought up the issue and the prostitute took his car keys and fled from the vehicle, shortly before throwing them back at him.

It was at this point he called police.

Unfortunately for the man, soliciting a prostitute is illegal where he lives and the police tracked down his identity to serve him with a slap on the wrist for abusing an emergency line. As far as we know, no action was taken against the prostitute.

I understand where the man is coming from. I’ve never paid for sex but if I did, I would certainly be concerned about getting the most, or best, bang for my buck. However I’m adamantly against complaining to people who are just trying to do their job. I’m very nice to retail employees and especially gracious to people who handle my food.

Someone who’s getting paid to handle my genitals? I’d probably cut them a little slack. To each their own, though.

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Music Festivals – More Fucking Than Rocking?

I really like music but I’ve never been particularly fond of music festivals. I do enjoy small venue shows because you can drink heavily and if you’re talking to someone and an awkward silence arises you can just turn to the stage and nod your head a little bit.

Swaying back and forth with a bunch of unwashed hipsters in the middle of the desert? No thanks.

People only go there to get drunk, do drugs and have casual sex? Tell me more.

According to a MSN U.K. poll of 2,000 music festivalgoers only 45% are there to listen to music while the rest of them are there to sleep with strangers and party. I like those odds!

More than 25% of those surveyed admitted to hooking up with a stranger while at a festival and another 21% confirmed they used illicit substances at these shows. In total, 47% of people questioned admitted that they had done something they wouldn’t have done if not for the fact that they were cutting lose at a music festival.

We already know people like to explore their wild sides while on vacation. Putting a bunch of music loving college students in the desert in between semesters with a bunch of drugs and liquor is a sure fire way to incite some casual, uncomfortable outdoor fucking.

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Kinky Sex Found To Be Linked To Improved Mental Health!

According to a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, people who have kinky sex show signs of better mental health than people who have “normal” sex. There is no mention of people who don’t have much sex at all but who instead masturbate to the really good, weird shit. Hmph!

This information was gathered by having people who practice BDSM and people who don’t to fill out a survey about their personalities, sensitivity to rejection, style of attachment and overall mental health. Participants didn’t know they were being compared to people of a different lifestyle and all together about 1300 people participated.

The common assumption is that people who are into BDSM suffered some kind of physical or psychological abuse that triggered their kinky instincts, however given the results of this study this is obviously not the case.

According to people a lot smarter than me associated with legitimate academic institutes, those involved with BDSM and other kinky shit are more in tuned with their sexual desires where as a person who only has regular sex might be repressing or denying their preferences.

The article also states that a lot of harmless sexual fetishes are considered to be mental disorders. Given the results of this study, it would be more insane to deny your sexual desires than to go out there and be your sexy, weird panty-sniffing self.

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How NOT to Argue in Favor of Internet Porn

Pornography can be a tough topic to discuss, in part because the conversation often becomes highly emotional for all involved.
Sometimes, the discussion quickly becomes an argument, as it started in the first place because a woman is emotionally hurt by her husband’s porn viewing, and believes it is negatively impacting their sex life.

Other times, it can be a lot more like a conflict over whether to watch Monday Night Football or the latest Lifetime made-for-TV movie (which will be about abusive spouses, extramarital affairs, or abusive spouses engaged in extramarital affairs). You know how that goes: She wants to watch a femdom face-sitting scene, but he’s in the mood for a girl-girl vignette featuring anal play. Pretty soon, everybody is shouting, nobody is turned on and the porn at the center of the controversy just sits there, unwatched and idle.

Whatever the nature of the disagreement, however, there are certain things you definitely should NOT do when discussing or arguing about porn with another person, whether that person is your spouse, your date, your dentist or your soon-to-be-ex-spouse’s divorce attorney.

As angry as you might get, for example, it’s never a good thing to belittle the concerns and opinions of your opponent. This is especially true when your opponent is also your spouse; things you say in anger today are going to be remembered – and subsequently used against you – forever. Trust me: the Palestinians and Israelis will come to a solid and lasting peace accord before you are forgiven for such a verbal trespass against your spouse.

You should also avoid ultimatums in porn arguments, as well as bargaining tactics launched from a position of strength.

In other words, ladies, no matter how tempted you might be to withhold sex from your partner until he accepts your position in the argument doing this won’t help – particularly if what you’re trying to do is get your man to stop watching porn. (Think about it: Is a guy with perpetual blue balls going to be less likely to watch porn on the sly when you’re not around?)

While some porn argument don’ts are specific to spouses and romantic partners, others are more universal.

For instance, no matter how angry you get at the person with whom you disagree about Internet porn, no matter how frustrating and aggravating you find their perspective to be, you should never hit that person on the head with your iPad.

For starters, an iPad is not a particularly effective weapon, especially if it’s one of those lightweight iPad Air devices. You could smack a person on the skull with an iPad Air all day, and all it’s going to accomplish is forcing you to interact with the “geniuses” down at the Apple Store to recover any data lost during your ineffectual attempted battery.

Second, unless it was a gift, your iPad wasn’t free; it should only be used as a bludgeon in circumstances in which the expense of replacement is worth it for the chance to do minor bodily damage to your adversary.

If I read about a fallen soldier’s mom thrashing one of those Westboro Baptist “God Hates Fags” imbeciles about the noggin with her iPad because they showed up at her son’s funeral, I wouldn’t criticize her choice one bit. Heck, I might even launch a Kickstarter to replace her tablet!

Third, nobody wants to wind up on the Internet in a picture like this one. Among other things, very few outfits match with horizontal lines and numbers on the wall behind you, and the artistry of county lockup personnel makes the folks down at your local DMV look like Ansel Adams.
An arrest for “battery by tablet” doesn’t look particularly good on the old job resume, either – unless of course you’re applying for a position with the Three Stooges, who might actually appreciate your ability to hit people on the head in comically ineffective fashion.

At any rate, you would do well to remember the above guidelines when arguing about Internet porn. They won’t necessarily help you win the argument, but they should keep things more copacetic in your personal relationships – or at least prevent your portrait from being a mugshot.

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STD Tests Down in Missouri

Sometimes data can be deceiving. When you read that the number of people getting STD tests have decreased, your mind can go in either a positive or negative direction. Are fewer people getting tests because they are participating in safer sex practices or are people getting tested less because they simply aren’t getting tested.

In Missouri, it’s probably the latter.

April of 2020 reportedly showed a 21% decrease in cases of syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia compared to the previous year. The actual numbers are 3778 in 2019 vs 2994 in 2020. That is a low for the state, who hasn’t seen a case count that low since 2013 when the number was 2913.

What factors led up to the numbers dropping that dramatically?

COVID for starters. Less people are partaking in risky sexual behavior which means that less people are going to be exposed to STDs. I mean that’s one thing positive that has happened with all of this quarantining. While it’s really hard for some of us to sit on our hands and jerk off during video chats rather than experiencing human contact for real, it’s for the better good of everyone, so I’m OK with it.

However, there has also been less testing in general, which is not a good thing. Some people are afraid to go to their doctors for fear of being exposed to COVID itself…plus most doctors around my neck of the woods are only seeing patients via telemedicine, which is revolutionary, if I’m being honest. You need blood tests etc to get tested for STDs though, so that requires an in office visit.

Another factor that aided the Missouri numbers to drop were the decreased hours at testing facilities. If you’ve got a job that you have to do and the clinic no longer has late nights, it’s going to be very difficult for you to carve out the time to get there, wait around for a few hours (that’s an assumption, but I can’t imagine that Missouri testing sites are any different than those in other parts of the country) and then scramble back to work all on your lunch break. It’s not realistically possible.

While it’s awesome that the actual number of people who tested positive has dropped, don’t let the data deceive you into feeling comfortable with risky sexual behavior. Practice safer sex whenever you can, get tested frequently and normalize sharing your test results with your partners.

Source: St. Louis Post Dispatch

Image: Kenna James in Limo Nympho by Brazzers

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Should You Fuck Your Roommate?

The world is slowly (possibly prematurely) reopening. In the part of New Jersey where I live, nail salons and waxing centers are starting to make phone calls to people about making appointments. The tattoo/piercing shop I frequent is going to be opening their doors this week.

Lack of physical attention from people has really messed a lot of us up. My wife and I split up during this whole thing and we’ve become roommates. She’s dating other people, I am very single and completely starving for human touch. I’ve got a few willing participants on deck to touch my body, but I don’t want to get sick so all of that is on pause for now. In the long run, I’m totally OK with it…but I’m not going to lie about the fact that I would really love to hold someone’s hand right now.

You have to make due with what you can get sometimes. If you’re shaking up with someone platonic on the regular, I’m wondering if that sexual tension has started to get to anyone.

In the UK, restrictions have been slightly lifted so that one person per household can extend their social bubble. If you’ve got three people living together as flatmates, only one of them can introduce an “overnight guest,” into the mix. That begs to question, how do you choose who gets to bang?

I imagine that the people in the UK who aren’t rule breakers are going to have tough time figuring things out. There are probably going to be a whole lot of disagreements and unhappy households going into this next phase of reopening the world.

The old fashion route of drawing straws would probably be my weapon of choice. As much as I would really love to be able to branch out and hook up with some beautiful butch women, video chatting and my box full of sex toys have been getting me by. Some people don’t have access to sex toys and that puts me ahead of the game.

How have you Peepz been holding up? Are you feeling super strange about dating right now or are you comfortable chatting it up with the people you’re interested in? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with the dirty details.

Source: BBC

Image: Anastasia Brokelyn  in Room Service by Brazzers

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Fap Along With Harlot: Back it Up

I love a thick set of ass cheeks bent over in front of me. When I find a woman who is willing to shake her butt all over my face, I’m in heaven. This week, we’re going to share that experience with each other.

I was poking around on Pornhub and I decided that it was time to really appreciate ass. From the hundreds of videos I sampled for the sake of science, I pulled my Top 5 to share with my favorite Peepz today.

Are you ready to get lubed up and dirty? I suggest you grab your favorite jizz sock because you’re going to make a sloppy mess of yourself. Let’s Fap!

Karissa Kane gets her big ass shaking in the shower. The bathtub gets a little bit of action too and that’s where she really shines. While her fuck buddy is pounding away at her pussy, her eyes roll into the back of her head and her mouth opens wide to scream.

There is no doubt that Simone Richards knows exactly how to handle her butt while she’s on camera. She shakes it fast and shows off how filthy she can get with her tongue. If you’re into above par blow jobs, you’re going to want to prepare you dick for this one.

The cycling instructor in this Bang Bros clip can’t keep his hands to himself. Rose Monroe lets him rim her asshole while she still has her feet on the pedals. Her ass looks massive while she is prone on the bike waiting to be fucked by the hot cock in the room.

Maya Lashes leaves little to the imagination. Her huge tits and beautiful ass are completely exposed from start to finish of this next clip. She sucks cock with style, showing off all her curves.

I’m going to finish off our Fap session this week with some Jessa Rhodes. Her body pulls no punches whether she’s in or out of the water. The video starts off with a foot job and the lube only gets more slick from there.

That’s it for this week, Peepz. I hope that you enjoyed yourself as much as I did. If you want a Fap Along list of your very own, let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with your fantasies.

Image: Nyomi Banxx in Anal Coverage by Brazzers

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Fantasy Friday: Cleaning Up

In my 20s, Fiona Apple taught me that, “I know that I’m a mess that he don’t wanna clean up.” Now that I’m older, all I can think about is licking his freshly spilled cum off of his shiny black leather boots like I used to. Not anymore though.

I want that adventure back. That new relationship energy that was surging all around us 10 years ago. It was hot to sneak away to my car on my lunch break and send him pictures of my tits. A few weeks ago I took a picture of my ass in one of the bathroom mirrors at work….he didn’t even bother to respond. He’s so used to what my body looks like naked that he isn’t excited by me anymore.

Tonight is going to be different though. There is no way that he is going to be able to ignore what I’ve got in store for him. My Amazon cart was filled with lingerie and kinky toys for us to try. Nothing too serious, just some fuzzy handcuffs and a heart shaped paddle to start. I’m going to leave work early to set everything up for him.

The black silk feels so smooth against my skin. I know that his fingertips are going to slide all over the place as soon as he sees this night gown on me. I put the handcuffs on wrists as soon as I see his headlights turn up the driveway. I hear his keys jingling as he approaches the door. Without even thinking, I get on my knees with my ass up in the air facing the entrance way.

I hear him laughing and I smile. But wait…are there two voices?

The door opens up wide in what seems like an explosion, but I know it’s only because I wasn’t expecting company. One of his co-workers, it sounds like, but I can’t place the voice. I’m not sure who it is and I’m afraid to look.

“Well, this is certainly a surprise,” he says.

“You mean she doesn’t greet you like this every day?” the stranger replies.

“Only when she knows that she’s been bad.”

He approaches me, puts his hand on one ass cheek and spanks the other harder than he has in years. I gasp and squirm.

“You can have a go,” he says to his friend, “She doesn’t mind,”

My brain is turning itself in circles. The other man’s fingers drag slowly down my backside and onto my thighs. Both men start taking turns spanking me. I can feel the lingerie getting soaked the harder they hit. This is what I needed. I want to be shared by these two men. I want to turn them on to the point of explosion.

He moves to the front of me and puts his shiny black boot down in front of my mouth.

“Lick it clean,” he says, while his friend slips his thick fingers inside me.

Image: Missy Martinez in Two Boobs One Bone by Brazzers

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Naked Chat With a Stranger

Saturday night was lonely for me. I was hung up in an anxiety attack and feeling alone. No matter what I was doing with myself, it wasn’t what I needed to get out of the cycle.

I kept thinking that all I wanted was to take a bath and have someone read to me. This is not something I’ve ever done before. Back in the day when I was lonely, I would head straight to Craig’s List, find some willing dick to fuck and be done with it. I’m genuinely trying to do something different this time around though (plus quarantine), so I thought that taking a step back from actual sex and see if I could find someone to share some of my naked time while still maintaining some distance.

I picked up my phone and headed over to Lex, that lesbian dating app I told you Peepz about a few months ago, and threw an ad up to see what I could come up with.

Those four likes showed up within the first minute of the ad being posted. Ten minutes later a woman from New Mexico slid into my DMs and offered to read me a story as long as I was OK with Sci Fi.

Spoiler alert: I’m super OK with Sci Fi.

I was in the middle of writing a Fap Along, so I asked her if she could give me a few minutes to finish up, draw a bath and get ready. She was cool with the window so I rushed to finish up what I was doing and get down to business.

Baths are like a ritual to me. I sacrifice my stress in order to cleanse my mind and body. There is nothing in the world that I enjoy more than being completely submerged in water while the steam is rising up to fog my glasses. Add a waterproof vibrator to the mix and I’ll make some magic happen.

The water was scalding hot against my bare skin. I slid slowly in and started up a video chat with the person from Mexico City. We were both nervous at first, I think. They gave me a selection of 6 short story books to choose from. I opted for a collection of Alfred Bester, and then decided that they should read me Fondly Fahrenheit.

I held my phone up above my body, so that they could see my face while reading. There were a few times where my breasts ended up on camera, but I’m not sure if they saw. Every once and awhile though, they looked up from the pages and smiled at me.

It was exactly what I needed…an intimate moment with a stranger that my younger self would have grabbed from Craig’s. The pleasure that I felt of being naked on video with someone who was taking care of my needs was more than I could have asked for, especially during COVID and quarantine.

Have you Peepz had any interesting dating experiences while we’ve been inside these past few months? Tell me your stories in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Image: Harlot’s Private Stash

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Sex Ed in the Dirty Jerz

What was Sex Ed like when you were in school, Peepz? I was taught about the penis (not so much about the vagina) by an over the top gym teacher who moonlit as a bartender. He was obnoxiously loud and only wore Zubaz pants with cropped tshirts that never seemed to match quite right.

He made the vagina having people feel uncomfortable because every time he said the word, “Penis,” he seemed to thrust his hips forward just enough so that the penis having people would notice and start giggling.

I learned about anatomy in that class, but that’s about it.

Most of my sex education came from porn, which is also not a very healthy way to learn about things. Porn is the ideal, right? It’s the fantasy that we have in our brain about how sex is supposed to look. When translated into reality, most sex falls way short of that. Our bodies are all different, we don’t have the same dimensions as the people we’re getting off too…

Once I realized that the porn I was watching was an ideal fantasy, rather than the reality I thought it was…I needed to educate myself about sex more.

The great state of New Jersey (which happens to be where I hang my hat #NoFistPump) has revamped their new sexual education guidelines and I’m honestly excited about it.

The language has all been revamped so that it includes lessons about social media, LGBTQ rights, sexting awareness and cyberbullying. Important things like pregnancy and STD prevention are also pretty high on the list. Some people are making a lot of noise about the inclusion of abortion as an option. I’m hoping that normalizing abortion discussion will help dissipate the stigma of making that decision, especially to high school age people.

My favorite part about this whole revamp is the fact that these young adults are going to be taught that you can be safe, whether we are talking about actually having safer consensual sex, or striving to eliminate sexual violence.

From the article linked below:

“Providing New Jersey’s students with thorough and inclusive health and physical education is the first step to creating a safer Garden State,” Patricia Teffenhart, executive director of the New Jersey Coalition Against Sexual Assault, said in a statement. “Comprehensive sexual health education is a proven protective factor against sexual violence and essential to young people’s health and safety.”

TEACH. THE. KIDS. ABOUT. CONSENT.

Say it louder for the people in the back.

Teach the kids about consent and that it is 100% OK to say, “No,” if you aren’t interested in banging.

Listen, the Internet makes sex and sexuality so accessible, and we have to do something to raise these young people the right way. Let’s try to fix the mistakes of the past by bringing up a new generation of humans who are able to respect each other’s sexuality completely. I’m excited to do more research on the new lesson plans and discovering how much more informed the students in the Dirty Jerz are going to be.

Source: NJ.com

Image: Tiffany Taylor in Love in the Mud by Brazzers

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Fap Along with Harlot: Black Lingerie

Since my breakup, I’ve been going in hard on my lingerie collection. It’s one of those things that had fallen to the wayside because my ex never seemed to be really into me getting all dressed up to entice her to fuck. Spoiler alert: It wasn’t actually the lingerie that was the issue.

Since I’ve been adding pieces to my collection over the past few months, I’ve been really paying attention to the lingerie that pornstars are wearing in the clips that I’m watching. For some reason I seem to be obsessed with black lingerie lately…so I figured I’d compile some examples and show my favorite Peepz the goods.

Are you ready? I suggest grabbing your favorite jizz towel to clean up after yourself, because it’s about to get pretty messy in here. Let’s Fap!

I really enjoy super intense, sexually charged girl on girl scenes, like this one from Twisty’s. Molly Stewart saves the day and rescues Alex Coal from a pimp/boyfriend/someone bad. She takes her into the back room of her club and the two ladies enjoy each other’s company until they’re both cumming.

Eva Lovia is looking particularly provocative in black lace. She wastes very little time and ends up taking it all off after the skimpy clothing has done its job and aroused her fuck buddy. I love how she paints her tummy with his cumshot.

Heads up for this clip…the lovely lady wearing all black is a bit of a screamer. She shows up to look at a house she’s interested in buying but ends up talking him down on his original number with a little bit of pussy.

I’ve got an old school Brazzers on deck for you, Peepz! Jasmine Webb’s beautiful body is the “peak of sexual ecstasy,” and she’s trying to help Danny D out with his premature ejaculation problem. She makes him read Shakespeare while she’s sucking his cock. It’s fairly amazing.

Veronica Clark is wearing a black, lace bodysuit in paradise. She fucks her own butthole to prep herself for the cock that is about to get stuffed inside. It’s a good thing that she did, because it’s a big one.

That’s all for this week, Peepz! I don’t think that my pussy can take much more orgasming. If you’d like a Fap Along of your very own, hit me up in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Image: Victoria June in Day with a Pornstar by Brazzers

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BDSM and Kink on the Rise

I’ve got a soft spot in my cold, little heart for the Kink community. My 18-year-old self was fresh faced and ready to take on the world one whip at a time. The only issue was that I didn’t realize that I didn’t HAVE to be into that particular type of play to be kinky until I was in my late 30s.

When you think about BDSM, what comes to mind?

It’s the hard hitting spankings, whips and chains, leather and latex. Bodies that are completely nude and covered in paddle marks, or covered from head to toe in leather and latex.

The beauty of the BDSM community is that everyone can have their own thing. The shame I used to have about not being able to take hits that were going to bruise me purple for days has dissipated. My thing is electricity and Violet Wands. I love the way that the energy feels when it’s flowing through my body. There’s no need for me to step outside of my comfort zone when I find experienced play partners who can turn up the juice and zap me to my heart’s content.

Back in the day when I was first being trained in BDSM, I was taught that you should never mix sex and BDSM play. While not everyone agrees with this line in the sand, it seems to be making a resurgence during the pandemic.

Let’s think about what the current stipulations are for most of the world with COVID-19 still making its way around.

• You have to wear a mask and make sure that your body is protected (Check…that’s definitely kinky and something I’ve done during BDSM scenes)
• You should physically touch anyone else (Check…that’s what paddles, floggers, whips, Violet Wands etc are for)
• You need to remain far away from other people
  (Check…if I’m aiming for your ass with a 4 foot whip that puts our faces 6 feet apart)
• You shouldn’t be meeting up with strangers who haven’t been quarantining themselves (Pseudo Check…I’m of the school of thought that you should definitely not play with people that you just met in a BDSM capacity, unless you’re at an event or have checked references or something of that nature)

So all of those boxes can be ticked off if you find yourself a BDSM play partner. Don’t feel comfortable fucking? Then don’t do it. You don’t need to have sex with another person in order to have an orgasm. My ideal situation right now would be to find someone who is really into latex. They could come over to my place and we’d hang out on my deck 6 feet apart until we made sure that we were cool with each other. When the day got darker and less people were around, we could have a bit of a VW Zap Session. Wands are way cooler when the lights are low anyway.

I would never have to come in physical contact with them. We could both get our rocks off in a BDSM capacity…and if we were feeling randy after the fact, a little bit of mutual masturabation never hurt anyone.

What do you Peepz think? Have you been considering BDSM play during quarantine or are you all about smashing naughty bits? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with the dirty details.

Source: NY Times

Image: Gabby Quinteros in Dusty & Busty by Brazzers

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National Sex Day

Someone, somewhere decided that June 9th was National Sex Day. Everyone loves a good 6/9, am I right? There’s an art to that particular position and I think that we should explore it together. You’re down, right? I didn’t think you’d have any objections.

One of the tricky things about 69ing is feeling pleasure while you’re giving it. It’s a juggling act of sorts. When I’m cumming, I’m so distracted by the waves of goodness I’m feeling that I end up forgetting to get my partner off sometimes. Once I start cumming though, I feel like I have to make up for lost time so I go at it with gusto.

Let’s have a look at a couple going to town on each other while they’re flipped around into position.

I love the idea of a split screen 69. You can watch both partners enjoying each other and see the facial expressions as they relate to the actions happening on screen.

Amateur star Lelu Love knows this and gets the job done. Watching her cum while she’s sucking dick is so fucking hot

Lesbian 69’s are so sexy to watch. Gabbie Carter and Molly Stewart get frisky with each other after discovering a few sex toys. They take each other for a spin with both of their tongues in perfect position.

When there are three people in the room, going into a 69 can be just as fun. There’s more skin to lick and when you have the right partners in place, it can be hella explosive.

can be just as fun. There’s more skin to lick and when you have the right partners in place, it can be hella explosive.

Admittedly, 69 is not my favorite position. As a BBW, I’ve got a bit more flesh and it’s hard for me to really get my face into the bits where I want to be. I love watching them though, especially when I can picture myself standing off to the side, fingering my pussy while I’m watching.

How do you feel about 69ing? Did you celebrate National Sex Day solo or with someone else? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with the details.

Image: Katsuni in Dr. Katsunis’ Oral Therapy by Brazzers

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Coming Clean After an Affair

The quarantine has all of us in our heads wondering when it will all be over. One of my friends decided to head to the dating apps for some companionship because his wife wasn’t “paying enough attention,” to him even while they were stuck in their house together for 3 months. He ended up finding a chill lady that he was into and stepped out on his wife claiming that he had to go to the office to pick up a few things.

Guess what Peepz?

He ended up getting sick with Corona, gave it to his wife and then he had to figure out some story to tell her about how the virus had gotten into their previously quarantined home.

I mean, COVID is shedding some light on some shady individuals, my Peepz.

In order to “save face,” my friend figured that he’d dig his heals in and come up with a, “must have been at the grocery store,” story. That made his already paranoid wife even more paranoid. She emptied out all of their cabinets, disinfected every single piece of canned/boxed food they had as best she could. The whole time my friend is staying in their guest bedroom getting sicker and sicker with the guilt of his lies creeping up on him.

He called me asking me for advice but he didn’t like what I said.

My opinion is that my friend should tell his wife what he did. His feelings of being ignored amidst the pandemic are totally valid. Where was the breakdown in their own relationship? How could they have communicated with each other to come to a compromise?

We all know how important I think open communication and honestly are in relationships. I can talk about that shit all day. Sometimes telling the truth hurts. You’ve got to think about the repercussions of your actions before you dive right in. It would be hella fucked up if you cheated on your partner, brought home an STD and then tried to play it off like you hadn’t done something out of the ordinary. Same shit with COVID.

Sometimes the hardest part of relationships is realizing that things need to change. That could mean ending it all together or it could mean tweaking the terms and compromising. Talking about what you’re going through and what your needs are is possibly even more important at this point than it was in 2019.

Listen, I get that consensual non-monogamy isn’t for everyone. Sometimes I think that it’s so tricky it may not even be for me. But if we take the “over” communication from that type of relationship and plant it directly into a monogamous one, I think we get something healthy. It can be so difficult to admit to your partner that you are not getting what you are looking for. Admitting what you’re feeling can be hard, but it can lead to personal evolution.

I choose evolving over stagnation any day of the week.

What do you Peepz think about my friend that caught COVID from his recent affair? Would you have given him the same advice or would you have said something different? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with your thoughts.

Image: Richelle Ryan in An Alarming Affair by Brazzers

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Fap Along with Harlot: Chris Diamond

One of my favorite things about the adult industry is that you can never know everything or everyone. Sometimes I stumble upon a name I can’t remember so I end up researching and finding a goldmine. That’s what happened to me last week when I uncovered a Chris Diamond clip.

Chris was born in Spain and has been performing in porno flicks since 2014. I’m not sure how I missed him, to be honest. His dick is amazing and he fucks pussy with power and control.

I pulled five clips of his to share with you today. Are you ready to watch him back the backs out of countless hotties? Grab your favorite jizz sock and let’s fap!

Nekane steps in as a translator so that Ava Austin can understand what’s going on while Chris has his dick in her mouth. You’ll get to see how exceptional his cock is while it’s being bounced back and forth between both ladies.

The lucky babe who gets her holes completely stretched in this next clip is Candy Alexa. Her tight body responds to his every thrust with moaning while he has his way with her beautiful body.

Getting fucked on vacation in some kind of a tropical paradise is always my goal. Honour May gets some good lovin’ in poolside courtesy of Chris and his monster cock. The overwhelmed look in her eyes while she’s taking his cock all the way down her throat just about sent me over the edge.

Sometimes sex is all about sweating and getting your orgasm in. Occasionally it’s all about relaxing and having a good time. Chris starts by massaging Donna Bell, but you know that in porno massages never last very long.

I saved the anal for last, Peepz…I saved the anal for last. Gabbie Carter is the lucky lady who gets her backdoor penetrated by Chris’ redonkulously large cock. She takes every inch and squeals when he gets it in balls deep.

That’s all for this week, Peepz! I hope you enjoyed dipping into Chris Diamond’s porno as much as I did.

If you’d like a Fap Along list of your very own, let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Image: Chris Diamond in Ass-isting The Barista by Brazzers

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Quarantine Qribs Gives Me Life

Little known Harlot fact: I’m obsessed with architecture. Way back in the day when I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, there was a period that I wanted to go into mechanical drawing or architecture. I mean, I also wanted to be a nun for awhile, so most of my dreams were definitely far fetched.

As my bank account grew and I was able to save up enough scratch to purchase my own home, I fell into many Zillow rabbit holes. I can stare at a foyer longer than anyone I know and tell you exactly what I do and do not like about it visually. The home I ended up purchasing doesn’t look like much from the outside, but inside she’s dreamy and filled with most of the beautiful little details that I was looking for when I was shopping.

There’s something so personal about getting a glimpse inside someone’s house. You can tell so much about a person by the things that they surround themselves with in their own place. I’m still settling into my new place nearly a year after the purchase, but I’m finding that the older I get, the less things I need to keep me happy. Just don’t take my books away because that will piss me the fuck off.

Pornstart and Pornhub Ambassador Asa Akira has a similar curiosity about how people live…specifically how pornstars live. She’s doing a show called Quarantine Qribs on Pornhub’s Instagram page and it’s the best.

View this post on Instagram

QUARANTINE QRIBS is back this week! Take a peek into your favorite pornstars homes and see how they’re spending quarantine! On @pornhub Instagram LIVE!!!!

A post shared by Asa Akira (@asahole) on May 17, 2020 at 4:03pm PDT

I keep coming back to The Pornhub Podcast and Asa’s social networking because she’s interesting and knows how to talk to people. The Quarantine Qribs Pornhub Channel is filled with gems. Where else can you get to know your favorite adult entertainers while they are being interviewed by another adult entertainer. Seeing Dana DeArmond’s posh loft was definitely one of the highlights for me, but here’s the Small Hands/Joanna Angel episode because you get two for the price of one.

It’s really cool to see Asa interacting with her peers and giving us an insider’s look at how they’re all living. If you’ve got some time to kill and you’ve made it to the end of Netflix, definitely start binging your way through the Quarantine Qribs Pornhub page. You’ll learn, you’ll laugh and you just might get turned on.

Image: Asa Akira’s Instagram

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Fantasy Break in Gone Wrong

I’ve got some fairly wicked fantasies in my brain. Some of them are so fucked up that I’m not even supposed to talk about them on the Internet. Kinky things are great and all, but if the authorities find out, sometimes they’ll come down hard on you.

There’s nothing wrong with fantasy as long as everything is always consensual, even if we’re talking about consensual non-consent. Consent is definitely the key word there though, Peepz.

In July of 2019, two men from New South Wales, Australia broke into the wrong home. They had been hired by someone via facebook to perform a “breaking and entering role play,” sexual situation. The client wanted to be tied up in his undies and penetrated by a broom. Since they were offered a cool $5000 for their fantasy play, they decided to go for it after a bit of time had passed…you know, to up the surprise element.

That was apparently the wrong move.

When the two guys showed up to the requested address with machetes. The called out the name of their client, which woke up the man that actually lived at the address.

Their client had moved 30 miles away and not informed his fantasy broom wielders.

The guy in the house took off his sleep apnoea mask and turned on the light to see the two men standing above him with knives. The pair of terrible communicators realized their mistake and said, “Sorry, mate,” shaking the guy’s hand and leaving the house.

They got in touch with their client, told him about what went down and he politely gave them the correct address. When they arrived at the correct location, he asked them to leave their weapons in the car and he cooked them bacon, eggs and noodles.

Noodles aside they nearly made a clean get away.

The cops showed up and arrested the pair. Since that time, their case has been heard and one of the men was just acquitted. I feel like if this had happened in America, they both would have been locked up for a very long time. For kinksters, I think this situation is very surprising. To be understood that the act that you’re choosing to participate in is purely fantasy, rather than being perceived as perversely skewed (in a bad way) by the courts.

I’m curious to see what happens to the other man involved. I can’t wait to see.

What do you Peepz think about this case? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Source: BBC

Image: Aryana Adin in Breaking and Entering that Pussy by Brazzers

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