Dildos come in many shapes and varieties. I’ve mentioned a million times before that I’m a fan of interesting insertions (that is, fucking myself with things that I shouldn’t be fucking…bottles, hair spray etc) but that’s not really all that safe.
When I’m in the mood for fucking myself with something that isn’t actually a dildo, I always use condoms and consider what could go wrong if something goes awry. I didn’t always do this when I was in my 20s, but I’d like to hit 40 without making a stop at the emergency room to have my cavities evacuated for the sake of an orgasm.
I have definitely fucked myself with candles before, but I’ve never fucked myself with candles quite like this.
Police in Paterson, New Jersey made a drug bust back in August. They raided a warehouse that was filled with candles that were being used to smuggle meth.
I’m not hip to drug trafficking in the slightest, but the dudes involved were planning on melting the candles down to score themselves a fuck ton of meth. A large portion of these candles were shaped like dicks. Some were shaped like religious figures, but you know the only thing that I care about in this story are the cocks.
Can you imagine if someone ended up with one of those meth infused dicks and accidentally started fucking themselves with it? I’d be hella pissed if some candle in my cooch made me high.
Maybe they used dick shaped candles because they thought that no one would suspect them…especially if they were in the same box as a Blessed Virgin Mother pillar of wax.
Candles can make sexy time hotter, but actually having sex with them is probably not the greatest idea. Filling the wax with drugs is probably an even worse idea…but that’s just me.
Here’s a fierce clip with naked people doing dirty things involving wax play. Also, Mr. Pete is fucking amazing. I’d love to get a few minutes alone with his dick balls deep in my throat.
Was this genius or stupidity Peepz? Have you ever tried to be sneaky with some booze or illegal substances? Tell me your stories in the comments! I’ll be posting about sneaking a booze filled bracelet into a fancy pants wine festival on my Patreon blog later this week.
Source: NY Post
Image: Karmen Karma in The Bigger the Wetter by Brazzers
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