Government contracts are the holy grail for just about any company. The bureaucracy of high level federal agencies forces them to spend money frivolously because any unused budget from one year may be taken away the next. That is why we often read about the military spending millions of dollars on seemingly overpriced tools, supplies, and possibly even sex toys.
Thanks to the hard work of American entrepreneur Brian Sloan, members of the armed forces may now have the option of purchasing the world’s very first male sex toy constructed with military-grade materials. The Lifetime Silicone Stroker was designed to meet the MIL-STD-810 standard for performance under extreme environmental conditions.
According to my extensive research (one Google search) the US military currently doesn’t have a single contract for masturbatory aids for soldiers. Even if the government was unwilling to provide such an accommodation for their armed forces, with a price tag of only $80 it may be worthwhile investment for a soldier heading out for deployment.
Even in my unextreme civilian conditions, the average silicone vagina gets gnarly pretty fast. Taking such a delicate device into a harsh combat environment would probably be a waste of time and money.
It isn’t entirely unheard-of military officials to consider the physical needs of their troops.
Last year we read about an essay from an Australian Army Captain who was proposing sending prostitutes to the frontlines to service the troops. Capt. Sally Williamson argued that having sex while on deployment would east the stress of prolonged absence from loved ones. However, when word of the essay spread military spouses were less than enthusiastic about the government providing prostitutes to their husbands and wives overseas.
Purchasing military grade sex toys may be a more diplomatic alternative, not to mention safer than bringing a bunch of civilians to combat areas.
At any rate, at the moment The Lifetime Stroker seems to be focused on male sex toys leaving the market open for some kind of tactical dildo for female soldiers. Maybe they could design some way of keeping sand out of your most sensitive holes or include one of those super bright flashlights with an under-barrel mount. The possibilities are endless!
Via maxim.com
Image: Erica Fontes in The MILF In The Military by Brazzers
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