Sex in a Santa Monica Library

Libraries are where I grew up. I had my first kiss in between the stacks and my friends all made fun of me saying that I kissed like a “movie star,” because I moved my head around a lot. Whatever…they were haters and upset that I decided to make out with the hot girl from the next town over. They weren’t ready for me back in 1994.

Sometimes I think they still aren’t ready for me in 2020.

Anyway, libraries turn me on. I’ve worked in a few, my wife is a for real librarian with a Masters of the Universe Degree and all of that. The smell of books does something to my panties every single time and there’s nothing I can do about it.

I have definitely shot a few amateur clips in libraries, but they have only been seen by a few people. That’s the type of content that I keep close to my chest because if the wrong people see it, I could have ended up fired or arrested…and that’s not the type of life I’m trying to live.

Pro tip: Don’t get caught having sex in a library.

The community in Santa Monica, California is up in arms because word got out that someone shot and uploaded a pornographic video that was shot in the Ocean Park Library. Peepz, you’ve got to be smart about things. There is totally a reason why street signs and names of businesses are blurred out in porno clips. Puritanical society says that porno is bad and if the Puritans find out that you’ve been naughty in their safe space, they are going to flip the fuck out.

Listen, fucking and masturbating in public is sexy as hell. The thing is that you’ve got to be careful when you do it and not leave any evidence that could incriminate you. The library video that this chick was in had her walking past an elementary school, bopping around town and then literally showing the library’s sign before she goes inside and goes all Han Solo on her pussy.

Get blurry with the editing. It would still 100% sexy if no one knew that you were literally walking into the Ocean Park Library. You need permits and all sorts of legal stuff has to be signed before you can use a public place as a filming location. Be smart with your content and don’t get caught by people who are going to go on a witch hunt to embarrass and throw the book at you.

Here’s a Pornhub clip of Ariel Grace getting her back banged out in a library, just so that you can see how hot the smell of books can make a person.

What do you Peepz think about library sex? Does it turn you on or would you rather get off in the privacy of your own home? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Source: NBC

Image: Lena Paul in Late Night at the Library by Brazzers

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Dick Pound Has Entered the Building

A little known Harlot fact that I have rarely divulged since I became her, is that my real name (like my real, for real name, not the name I give people) sounds like it should belong to a porn star. I blame my hippy parents who thought it would be an amazingly beautiful thing for me to go by. In reality, I spent most of my teenage years being ridiculed for what they decided to call me because it sounded like I was going to grow up to be a stripper.

Instead, I grew up to be a sexually progressive, polyamorous lesbian, amateur porn making smut writer…so I mean…same, sames.

I was hanging out on twitter on Tuesday night and Dick Pound was trending in Philadelphia. I investigate a bit more and it turns out that Dick Pound was actually trending in the U.S. A few more clicks and I realized that Dick Pound was trending worldwide.

A worldwide Dick Pounding?

I’m so down for some of that.

Dick Pound turns out to be a former Olympian who had some opinions on the Corona Virus situation happening in China. He’s a member of the International Olympic Committee and one of the people who is going to decide whether or not it is safe to have the Olympics in Tokyo this summer.

The thing is that guys who go by the name Dick totally know what the fuck they are doing. Everyone is going to either giggle (like me) or be offended (like my grandma) by your name. I can’t talk to a guy named Dick with a straight face and I know I’m not the only one.

“What’s your name?”

“Dick, I go by Dick.”

“Like ‘penis’ dick?”

“No, like ‘Richard’ Dick.”

I swear I’ve had that exact conversation 15 times in my life and it never gets old.

Richard Pound however, has gotten old. Here’s his picture.

Dick Pound, a man of many opinions

He was in the Olympics in fucking 1960, Peepz. He’s been around the block a few times…and we all know how hyped up those Olympians get in that village. There is no way that he isn’t a cheeky Dick because he has decided that Richard, Rick and Richard weren’t for him. He choose Dick as a nickname. The only letter that Richard and Dick have in common is a “C” so you know that’s completely made up by someone with a cocksure sense of humor.

Anyway…

Dick Pound (tehe) wants to make sure that all the Olympians are safe when they are competing. If China doesn’t get their shit together in the next few months, the Olympics are going to be canceled and there’s nothing that anyone can do about it.

Don’t get sick, Peepz. Wash your hands frequently and don’t forget to moisturize afterwards. No one likes rough palms.

Source: AP Sports

Image: Jasmine Jae, Victoria Summers & Keiran Lee in Rugby by Brazzers

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Kim K’s Butt Clone

One of the crazy things about being a celebrity has to be the fact that lots of people want to look exactly like you do. Society is always copying your style and biting off of the new looks you’re trying to get a jump on. It’s got to be hella annoying when photographers focus on one part of your body and run with it.

In a slightly creepy turn of events, a Swedish artist took New York Fashion Week by storm when she wore a copy of Kim Kardashian’s ass. The hand crafted, 3D posterior was all the rage and people have been talking about it on twitter all weekend. Here’s a look at the bum, which comes complete with camel toe.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Beate Karlsson (@beate.karlsson) on Feb 21, 2020 at 9:07am PST

The ass was created by Scandinavian artists Ida Jonsson, Simon Saarinen and designer Beate Karlsson. Some of the instagram pictures are rather unflattering…the butt seems to squish out and get a little strange looking when you sit down in it. This isn’t the type of ass that you sit down in though…this is the type of ass that you strut around in when you’re looking to make a statement.

A possibly odd statement about the fact that you like a celebrity’s ass so much that you plan on wearing flesh colored shorts that have her bootie bump.

I mean, look…totally not creepy at all to have random butts hanging on a clothing rack.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by ida-simon (@1da_sim0n) on Feb 19, 2020 at 11:12am PST

One more shot of the ass just for good measure.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Beate Karlsson (@beate.karlsson) on Feb 12, 2020 at 9:35am PST

Because it’s totally topical to show off Kim K’s porno debut when she ends up on Peeperz, here’s part of the clip that made her famous.

Is there a particular celebrity’s body you covet? Do you wish you had the arms and abs of Jason Momoa or the arms of Jennifer Lopez? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with the details.

Source: Cosmo

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Fap Along With Harlot: Deeper

Happy Sunday, my Peepz! We’ve made it through another week of prioritizing and procrastination and it’s time for some alone time. I look forward to these self-love sessions every week because I get to focus on what makes me feel good and let the world around me fade away.

All I’m thinking about today is stretching my pussy to maximum capacity and feeling completely full. I started poking around Pornhub for some motivation and I came across the Deeper channel which served up exactly what I was looking for. Are you Peepz ready to experience these clips with me? I’ve got my biggest dildo lubed up and I’m so ready to set my vibrator on high.

Let’s fap!

This first clip starts out with a dripping cock and Celina Lion licking cum right off of the floor. Her cock sucking fantasies have her all worked up and after awhile, she needs to act out on them to satisfy that itch.

Evelyn Claire and Holly Hendrix are BFFs but their friendship is about to reach a whole other level. I love the upside down 69 position that they get into and how loud they get when they start cumming.

I talked about my fascination with Maitland Ward recently. She loves to fuck and makes no bones about it. The fact that she was in main stream television only elevates how convincing she is when she’s wearing lingerie and getting dirty for the camera.

It’s time for an orgy, friends. I have a rule in my personal life that I’ll only have sex in even numbered groups and the beautiful people in this next clip are exactly why. There is no odd-man out when you’re coupled up in pairs. No one is ever left wanking in the corner by themselves wondering what they are supposed to do next. Check this hotness out.

As always, I saved my favorite clip for last. Kink and extremes go hand in hand in most of my fantasies. I love the idea of being watched and told to fuck on command. My pussy deserves to be used for the pleasure any cock that happens to be in the room and this clip plays that whole scenario out.

That’s all for this week Peepz. I hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I did. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to get up from my desk for a few minutes, my knees are hella wobbly.

If you’d like a Fap Along of your very own, hit me up in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with all your dirty fantasies. I’ll see you next time!

Image: Deeper’s Pornhub Page

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Is Anal Your Go To?

My fascination with anal sex goes back decades. At this point in my life, I’m completely content with watching incredible gaping assholes on Pornhub, rather than trying to gape my own. That -ish can get tricky.

Relationships are also very tricky. My wife and I are currently negotiating the dynamics of going back to being Poly. She’s been dating a few new women since we discovered the Lex app and I’ve been heavy flirting with some of my guy friends to test out the waters and see if dealing with dicks is even something I want to dive into again. Honestly, time is my enemy at this point in my life and I’m 100% focused on my career and writing. My wife didn’t slut around in her 20s and 30s like I did, so I’m vicariously living through her.

Communication is key to any relationship though. Lots of people slide into side pieces because they are afraid to communicate their wants and needs…or their partner is unwilling to participate.

The affair-centric dating website, Ashley Madison, took a poll of 2,625 members. Of those people, 52% said that the main reason for their infidelity was the fact that they could live out their sexual fantasies. That’s not as high as I would have imagined, honestly. Some people are ashamed of the things that they are into and don’t want to share their kinks with the people that they are closest with. I get it, but I think that the world would be a safer place is we could drop all of our sexual insecurities to the side in order.

Whatever though…I know we don’t live in an ideal sexual utopia and that people are going to cheat on each other. What was crazy to me was that of those Ashley Madison users that were poled,  28% said anal sex was their favorite kink. Another 17% chose role play and 15% chose orgasm delay (edging) as their fav kink.

Is anal sex kinky? I’m not convinced that it is. It seems fairly mainstream to me at this point. Here’s a Pornhub clip of Kissa Sins getting her back banged out for the good of our masturbation habits.

How do you Peepz feel about anal sex? Is participating in a buttsex romp on your t0-do list? Also, do you cheat on your partner or are you satisfied with your relationship?

Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Source: Insider

Image: Angel Long in A Doctorate in Analsexology by Brazzers

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I Want Young M.A’s Dick

I bought my first strap on back in 2003, I think. The adult video shop I went to didn’t have much of a selection, so I asked them if they would be able to special order a purple, “leather” Vac-u-lock harness. Creepy McCreeperson who owned the shop tried to talk me into some rubbish harness he had on the shelf, but finally he gave in.

He absolutely overcharged me, but this was back when Internet shopping wasn’t even close to being popular. I had to deal with the creep to get what I wanted…and I worshipped that fucking harness.

Later in life, once I fucked a considerable number of people with my assortment of cocks, I met my wife and hung my strap up basically for good. She would rather fuck me than be fucked, and she had a harness of her own to play with. I miss wearing my Vac-U-Lock sometimes, but now I have a reason to buy a new one.

The newest celebrity to have a sex toy endorsement deal with Doc Johnson, the makers of Vac-U-Lock, is none other than Pornhub Director Young M.A. If you are in the market for a strapon cock, I suggest checking out her brand new line of sex toys. They look like a blast.

I preordered The Young M.A Set just for fun, because supporting perverts is what I do best. The whole kit and kaboodle comes with:

• Contains Everything Needed for a Complete Vac-U-Lock Experience
• Adjustable Unisex Harness
• O-Ring Compatible
• 3 Dual Density ULTRASKYN Attachments
• 7 Function Vibrating Plug Turns Any Vac-U-Lock Attachment into a Vibrator Secures Attachment to Harness
• Vac-U Plug on Suction Cup Base Swivels for Full 360° Action
• 4 fl. oz. (118 mL) Water-Based Lubricant
• 4 fl. oz. (118 mL) Natural Toy Cleaner
• Doc Johnson Vac-U-Powder (1.0 oz./28g)
• ULTRASKYN Refresh Powder (0.18 oz./5g)

So it’s basically a party in a box that will be a party in my box. I’m psyched about the black harness and that vibrating plug is probably amazing. I can’t wait to get my filthy paws on it.

Here’s Young M.A’s directorial debut, The Gift…which features exactly the type of lesbian sex I’m looking for when I’m in the mood to get off.

You can check out Young M.A’s new toy collection on her website by CLICKING HERE.

What do you Peepz think about celebrities getting into the sex toy game? Are you into it or do you think it’s a marketing ploy? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter. Maybe if you’re good I’ll end up snapping some pictures when I get my hands on Young M.A’s dick.

Source: The Fader

Image: Young M.A’s Insta

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Adventures in Kink: Hypno Fetish

Last summer when my wife and I went to TES Fest, we ran into a friend of ours that we know in the vanilla world. I was about to get naked so that my wife could tie me to a bench when we heard a familiar, “SHUT UP!” a few feet away from us. I was definitely glad that I wasn’t naked yet, even though in that particular kink friendly setting, I don’t think it would have mattered.

Since we found out about our mutual respect and love for kinky things, we’ve had a few round table discussions when we run into each other in public places (and admittedly, on fetlife as well). One of our friend’s fetishes is hypno kink so over the weekend, we decided to attend a 101 class that they were presenting at to learn a little bit more about what makes them tick.

Because my wife and I can’t do anything without a little spice, we also invited two other couples. Of those four people, only one of them had been to a public kink event of any kind, so we were bringing a large batch of virgins to the party.

The Hypno 101 class was super fun and informative. Most of the kink classes that we go to are run by people who may or may not take themselves too seriously. I get that you have to be serious when you’re playing dangerously, but there’s also something to be said with keeping the fun in fetish.

Chock full of memes as well as warning about consent and rules of play, the 101 was probably one of the more entertaining classes that I’ve attended. I’m not necessarily inot hypnosis play myself, but I definitely have a bigger respect for my friend’s knowledge after attending their class.

My fetish virgin friends also enjoyed themselves. The conversation about BDSM and kink events continued throughout the night. One of the women was a bit put off by the public displays of intimate behavior, but after everything was said and done, she was intrigued and let her shyness slip to the side.

Erotic mind control is something that I’d be interested in exploring more. Adding skills to my internal repertoire is always on my list of things to do. Keeping it kinky and playful is always on my brain.

Here’s a hypnosis clip from Pornhub to give you a little taste into the sexual side of this kink:

What do you Peepz think of Erotic Hypnosis? It is something you would like to experiment with? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Image: Avy Scott in Mind Over Cock by Brazzers

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Fap Along with Harlot: Banging Blondes

Happy Sunday, my Peepz! I’ve been messing around on Pornhub all morning and I kept making circles around clips with hot blonde women in them. It’s not hard to do, but it isn’t something that I often end up doing.

I don’t necessarily have a hair color preference with the ladies that I bang, but if you happen to enjoy the company of blondes more than anyone else, I suggest you saddle up and get ready for a wild ride.

Are you ready to get down and dirty with me? Pants off, please…it’s time to fap!

First up is Skye Blue with her boyfriend’s boss. All she wants is to convince the guy to give her man his job back. She knows that her tight fuck hole is going to do the trick to get her back on the road to riches.

Nicolette Shea is about to put out the fire in your pants. She gets steamy in a firefighter costume that has me wishing for a rescue operation. Her hot curves and huge tits are above par and always ready for cumshots.

How do you Peepz feel about VR porn? I may be slightly obsessed. I love feeling like I’m right in the room with the people that I’m jerking off to. It makes it seem less like masturbation and more like an orgy.

Dingy porn that is shot in alley ways has this forbidden flavor. I love thinking about the rush that the model was getting when she was taking off her clothes and flashing the camera. She doesn’t care that people are talking nearby, or that she can her sirens in the distance. The only thing she’s worried about is showing off so that we can get off.

There’s no way that I will ever get tired of watching my favorite blonde, Mia Malkova, get fucked. She’s gorgeous and flexible and is always right on point with her bedroom antics. Here she is for Nubiles in all her glory.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. Do you think that blondes have more fun or are you more into a different shade of hair? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with your thoughts.

Image: Cassidy Blue in Blonde Tight White Booty Getting Smashed by Brazzers

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Have a Sexy Valentine’s Day!

Listen, you should 100% read this post all the way to the end. I posted a super sexy cupid clip all the way down on the bottom. The blowjob noises are amazing, and that should be incentive enough for you to stay.

However…

PORNHUB PREMIUM IS FREE TODAY!!!!!

It’s literally the gift that keeps on giving and won’t give up on you until you are completely spent. That’s hours, Peepz. 24 hours of free access to all the porn that you can possibly handle.

My wife and I give each other “Love Socks” every year for Valentine’s Day. What are love socks, you ask? Love socks are just socks with something silly printed on them. Last year I gave her “Pizza My Heart,” socks. This year, I couldn’t find any actual Valentine’s Day socks, so I got her a pair with llamas, racoons and sloths on them. Our ridiculous sentiment to each other completely makes sense in our relationship. We don’t really take Valentine’s Day seriously because we fucking love each other every day of the year.

You know what we do take seriously though?

Our porn.

In addition to Pornhub Premium being free for the day, the head pervs in charge have decided to set up a two day pop-up shop in New York City. Asa Akira and other adult stars will be there to promote the brand and sign perverts like you and I up for one free year of Pornhub premium with every purchase.

That’s right, every single purchase at the Pornhub pop up gets you one free year of Pornhub Premium.

It’s a crazy good deal for crazy good porn.

The shop is located in the Lower East Side, at 91 Allen Street.

I’m going to swing through on my way home from work and probably meet up with my wife for dinner as long as the line for the pop-up is manageable. I have a feeling that it’s going to be wrapped around the block by the time I get there though.

It will totally be worth it to get my hands on some heart shaped Pornhub merch. I kinda can’t wait.

As promised, here’s a hot Brazzers clip from Nicolette Shea where she plays the part of cupid and gags on some dick to celebrate love.

Are you celebrating the made up feast day with anyone special? Do you think you’ll be getting lucky tonight? I’d also like to add that masturbation totally counts as getting lucky.

Let me know if you’re planning on swinging through the Pornhub pop-up tonight. Maybe I’ll let you buy me a pretzel, if you’re lucky.

Source: Forbes

Image: Layton Benton in Valentine’s Day Whorer Story by Brazzers

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Fetishes in the United States

What’s your kink, Peepz? Is there something out there that just does it for you? It could be something you wear, like a clown costume or head-to-toe leather. Or maybe it’s something you like to participate in, like group sex or flogging.

Personally, I’m a fan of electro play. I love the tingling zap of a Violet Wand or the intense rush of a TENS unit strapped to my pussy lips. Too much for some, I know, but it’s exactly the type of thing that keeps my mind working and my panties wet.

Future Method went to the Google machine and pulled out the kink search results for each of the states in the union. The map has some surprises (Nevada and Pennsylvania, I’m looking at you) but all in all, it’s fairly typical fetish-type stuff.

Here’s a look at the map they threw together:

I can 100% get behind the fact that the Dirty Jerz is all about group sex. Every night, in every bar I’ve ever been in, there is always someone looking to get in on a threesome. That oversaturation is basically why I refuse to have group sex with odd numbered groups now. You want to bang my wife and I, you better come to us as a party of two for a shot.

Future Method also pulled together an interesting list of the most searched fetish terms in each reason. West coast of the U.S. is hella into masochism…which is not at all surprising to me from my experience with kinky west coasters.

Now, according to Pornhub’s 2019 Year in Review, the five most searched words were Japanese, Hentai, Lesbian, MILF and Korean. I get that’s porno and not kink, but it’s still an interesting factoid. Here’s the full list:

So what kink are you into, my Peepz? Do armpits and leather get you going, or are you more into spanking and balloons? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with all your secrets.

Source and post images: Future Method

Header image: Carmen Caliente in Carmen’s Foot Fetish by Brazzers

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Bad Bikini Photoshop

Most of the time Instagram influencers seem to photoshop themselves to look more like their ideal. Bigger butts, bigger tits, smaller waist, more dramatic curves, that’s all part of the magic of technology. Someone on ABC decided to do the opposite of that on an episode of the Bachelor though.

Barely there bikinis have been all the rage for years. There is nothing wrong with getting some sun over every square inch of your body, especially if you want to show off all your assets on national television. Puritanical society took the reigns on last week’s episode though, when the ladies all had their butts photoshopped to cover up their cheeks.

lol did the editors use MS paint to add more of a bikini bottom to Victoria F’s butt? #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/jYOHFZB8u3

— Fiona the Beer Bachelorette (@fionasimone) February 4, 2020

It wasn’t just that one ass though. Every single bikini bottom on the show was photoshopped to make it look ginormous and diaper like. Uh…I mean obviously sexy and much better than regular bathing suit bottoms.

It’s terrible all around.

I get that it’s reality television, so they don’t have a huge budget for special effects, but seriously? Someone should have waived a red flag up in the air calling shenanigans on this nonsense. Butts are beautiful and should absolutely be displayed. It’s funny that the part of the ass they didn’t want to show is just the fleshy part. No one had an completely exposed bottom. but 3 inches of photoshopped “fabric” made the network sensors happy?

I mean, I guess that makes it better?

If ABC has an issue with ladies in swimsuits, perhaps they shouldn’t send their reality show contestants to a tropical island with beaches.

Just saying.

Do you Peez think it was necessary to have the booties censored? Do you think you could have done a better job of editing the videos? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with your thoughts.

Source: TMZ

Image: Maddy O’Reilly in Maddy O’Reilly’s Bikini Butt by Brazzers

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Fap Along with Harlot: Skin Diamond Flashback

My email had a surprise in it last Friday, my Peepz. Apparently the illustrious Skin Diamond is going to be making appearances at all four of the Exxxotica conventions this year. One of those conventions happens to be in October in the Dirty Jerz.

I’m fucking JAZZED for this. Skin Diamond has been one of my girl crushes for the longest. At Exxxotica, she is going to be appearing in the dungeon set up as Madame Skin.

BDSM and Skin all wrapped up into one? Yes please.

To celebrate her appearances, I’m diving deep into the Pornhub archives to pull some clips for us all to enjoy together. Are you Peepz ready? Grab your favorite jizz towel and let’s fap!

Skin can go from sensual to hardcore in the blink of an eye. She’s willing to please and give pleasure in every clip. She gets soapy in the shower and fucks after a massage.

You have to warm your box up before you take on 11 inches of rock solid cock. Skin masturbates with some toys to prepare. She rides him straight to a cum shot and doesn’t come up for air when she’s got her mouth on his piece.

No hole is left unfucked in this Analized video. Skin takes her time working her way up to an orgasm with the help of a beautiful buttplug and a stunt cock.

Ready to get hardcore? Skin is one of the kinkiest ladies in the game. She has been in countless BDSM clips and this is one of my favorites. Floggers and fingers abound while her mouth is gagged and her holes get stretched.

More punishment! Skin gets chewed up and spit out while she’s working in an office. Blackmail doesn’t suit her, so her boss takes control back and gets her pussy right where he needs it to be.

Everyone go see Madame Skin at Exxxotica and give her tons of money so that she will keep making the rounds. I can’t wait to meat her in person and I have my fingers crossed that I’ll be able to get some bruises on my ass from her spanking me.

New EXXXOTICA Blog! Madame Skin To Appear – https://t.co/vEuKbU4q0d#ChicagoIL #EdisonNJ #MiamiFL #WashingtonDC (@skin_diamond) pic.twitter.com/TsRfSrvY3Z

— EXXXOTICA Expo (@EXXXOTICA) February 7, 2020

Image: Skin Diamond in Ultimate Sin by Brazzers

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More Vagina Scented Stuff

When I’m feeling sexy, my go to music is Erykah Badu’s Baduism. Her voice is everything soulful that I’m looking for when I want to ramp up the mood. Everything about that album is nostalgic for me and I’ll forever be a fan of hers because of it.

Last month, I wrote about how Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina scented candle had sold out in hours and now, Ms. Badu has decided to jump on the pussy scented bandwagon herself. She isn’t going the wax route though, she’s headed straight for the nose’s jugular and creating a fragrant incense that meshes with her earthly sensibilities.

I’m honestly glad that pussy is having a moment. It’s super dumb that people are tweaked out about the way that a pussy smells and tastes. All that nonsense is puritanical bullshit.

When someone says that they don’t enjoy the way a vagina smells or tastes I really think it’s because they’ve been spoonfed nonsense. Pussy definitely has a perfume to it…but society has taught us that there should be no smell…and that’s not natural. Pussy is beautiful and deserves to be worshipped. I love that Ms. Badu is taking up the reigns and doing her magic.

In an interview with 10 Magazine, Badu admits that she doesn’t wear underwear anymore, and that part of the incense is actually her burned panties. She put all of her most powerful energy into the flames and out came a beautiful smelling incense filled with undie ashes that she is aptly calling, “Badu’s Pussy.”

The product is only going to be available on her website store, which is set to launch on February 20th. I’ve officially put a calendar invite into my phone to remind me to snatch some of that up for my home. I’ve got this mental image of making out with my wife on our bed while we listen to Apple Tree and smell all the smells. It’s going to be a completely immersive Badu experience for sure.

Speaking of Badu experiences, here she is carrying a pussy purse around the city:

View this post on Instagram

@_namilia_

A post shared by THE UNICORN (@erykahbadu) on Jan 23, 2020 at 3:19pm PST

How do you Peepz feel about all these vagina scented products that are coming out right now? Do you buy in or are you still living in the dark ages where pussy should be covered? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter so we can chat about it.

Source: 10 Magazine

Image: Erykah Badu’s Instagram

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Streaking at the Super Bowl

It takes balls to run around naked in public. Attempting to run onto Super Bowl turf while you’re nearly nude is ballsy on a completely other level. It happened though, Peepz.

Influencer Kelly Kay took to the sidelines and attempted to run straight onto the field as an attention grabbing stunt for Vitality Uncensored.  Those guys seem to be like Girls Gone Wild for millenials. The beautiful, blonde bombshell wasn’t completely naked at the time. She was actually wearing this super high cut one piece advertising the company.

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Wet for what you guys were going to see on the field @vitalyuncensored #vitalyuncensored #superbowl2020 #tackled

A post shared by Kelly Kay (@kellykay) on Feb 3, 2020 at 6:47pm PST

She got snagged by police before she even got one toe in the endzone. Security is tight as fuck around major sporting events, so I’m not sure how she thought that she was going to be able to get onto the field. It only took two seconds and they had her down on her knees and covered her up as much as they could with a blanket.

Here’s a picture of Kelly Kay’s ass in all its glory:

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Do what you want, when you want, life’s too short to have regrets Thanks @nfl for having me @vitalystreaking

A post shared by Kelly Kay (@kellykay) on Feb 3, 2020 at 11:55am PST

I mean, honestly…you can get a better view of that booty on her instagram page, if you’re interested. You can scroll through her provocative timeline for hours and never come up with the same angle of her ass.

The police arrested Kelly and charged her with misdemeanor trespassing. She decided to capitalize on the event and is selling tshirts with her mugshot on them. Cash, money, dollars, my Peepz. That’s what makes the world go round.

Would you ever streak in a public place? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter to tell me your thoughts.

Source: New York Post

Image: Kelly Kay’s Instagram

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Dick Pic Tricks

One of my Internet friends is a filmmaker. Not porno movies, honestly interesting movies that are sometimes sexy but all of the time interesting. Over the years, we’ve had many interesting conversations and this weekend, we talked about dick pics.

I am not a fan of penis pictures being sent to me. You know how there are beautiful social media influencers out there that take the time to check the lighting and angles before they send their pictures out into cyberspace? Very few men actually go through a beautification check before snapping pics of their cock. There is no story to it…no imagination

I don’t get turned on when someone shows me who they are and how attractive they feel. My attraction to someone else has 85% to do with their own self-confidence. That’s my trigger. Hot people exude hotness…not cockiness, mind you…Cocky narcissistic people can go fuck themselves, or other people. They are definitely not fucking me.

If I’m having a good day and I feel sexy, you can totally see it in my eyes…Same goes for dudes, but if all you’re taking a picture of is your penis at a downward angle, it’s boring and I’m not interested.

I want to see your whole body. Set that camera up with a timer, pick an interesting background and start taking nudes! Foggy mirrors after a shower are an excellent place to strut your stuff. Fully cleaned off and ready to get down and dirty, a strategically placed towel can make for just enough suggestive sexiness to drive me wild. You don’t need to flex your muscles, suck in your gut or do anything to “make yourself look better.” All that is fake bullshit.

I want to see you…who you really…That is when you are at your sexiest.

I’m a sucker for packaging and marketing in all aspects of my life. Sexy pictures are definitely in the same bag. Give me interesting…show me something that I’ve never ever seen before. Pull some creativity out of your ass, that’s how to take a cock pic.

But don’t ever send one of those suckers to someone who hasn’t asked for it. The quickest way to get yourself blocked and ignored is by sticking your dick in my eye. There are cocks that I am absolutely interested in seeing…and when I’m in the mood to see them, I let it be known.

How do you take a good cock pic? Inquiring minds want to know, my Peepz. Give me your best tips in the comments below, or slide into my DMs on twitter and give me your best tips.

Source: Cosmo

Image: Ella Nova in Nasty Nuru by Brazzers

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Fap Along With Harlot: Blowjob Bonanza

I made a massive vat of chili this morning, for no reason other than the fact that I was craving it. At the farmer’s market, all of the carrots were HUGE. Not just really big but MASSIVE. Being the social media whore that I am, I brought one home with me and began snapping suggestive pictures with it.

My bff was quick to respond with, “Make yourself choke on it,” which got me thinking about blowjobs.

For today’s pre-Superb Owl Fap Along Feast, let’s get off together while watching some intense blowjobs. Are you ready? Let’s Fap!

I love a good casting couch clip. One of the things that bugs me about them though, is the fact that sometimes the guys blur out their faces. It’s kind of like they don’t want to be caught doing fucked up things to women or something, right? The young lady in this first clip is trying to open up her own tattoo studio. She’s got dollar signs on the horizon, but only after she gets the blurry faced guy off.

Lately I’ve been fascinated by sex in cars. It’s like a mobile bedroom, I guess…only the probability of you getting a stiff neck from sucking cock in tight quarters is fairly high. In this Fake Taxi clip, they have plenty of room to move around and make each other feel good.

Sloppy blowjob on the horizon, my Peepz!! Three kinky ladies get upclose and personal with each other before they dive in deep and take on every inch of cock that the camera man has to offer.

Gagging on dicks makes my pussy so fucking wet. It’s such a vocal activity, even though the person doing the sucking has their mouth completely stuffed. There’s no feeling better to me than having my face planted straight down onto a guy’s balls while he’s humping my mouth and using it as a masturbation machine.

This last scene is hot from start to finish. Two of the hottest ladies I’ve ever seen in porno go down on one lucky guy. He gets his dick wet with their pussies and they really seem to enjoy tasting each other.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. My sheets are soaked and my fingers are so fucking sticky. Don’t forget to slide into my DMs on twitter if you want a Fap Along of your very own. I’ll see you soon!

Image: Harley Jade in Blowjob Bootcamp by Brazzers

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