A little known Harlot fact that I have rarely divulged since I became her, is that my real name (like my real, for real name, not the name I give people) sounds like it should belong to a porn star. I blame my hippy parents who thought it would be an amazingly beautiful thing for me to go by. In reality, I spent most of my teenage years being ridiculed for what they decided to call me because it sounded like I was going to grow up to be a stripper.
Instead, I grew up to be a sexually progressive, polyamorous lesbian, amateur porn making smut writer…so I mean…same, sames.
I was hanging out on twitter on Tuesday night and Dick Pound was trending in Philadelphia. I investigate a bit more and it turns out that Dick Pound was actually trending in the U.S. A few more clicks and I realized that Dick Pound was trending worldwide.
A worldwide Dick Pounding?
I’m so down for some of that.
Dick Pound turns out to be a former Olympian who had some opinions on the Corona Virus situation happening in China. He’s a member of the International Olympic Committee and one of the people who is going to decide whether or not it is safe to have the Olympics in Tokyo this summer.
The thing is that guys who go by the name Dick totally know what the fuck they are doing. Everyone is going to either giggle (like me) or be offended (like my grandma) by your name. I can’t talk to a guy named Dick with a straight face and I know I’m not the only one.
“What’s your name?”
“Dick, I go by Dick.”
“Like ‘penis’ dick?”
“No, like ‘Richard’ Dick.”
I swear I’ve had that exact conversation 15 times in my life and it never gets old.
Richard Pound however, has gotten old. Here’s his picture.
He was in the Olympics in fucking 1960, Peepz. He’s been around the block a few times…and we all know how hyped up those Olympians get in that village. There is no way that he isn’t a cheeky Dick because he has decided that Richard, Rick and Richard weren’t for him. He choose Dick as a nickname. The only letter that Richard and Dick have in common is a “C” so you know that’s completely made up by someone with a cocksure sense of humor.
Anyway…
Dick Pound (tehe) wants to make sure that all the Olympians are safe when they are competing. If China doesn’t get their shit together in the next few months, the Olympics are going to be canceled and there’s nothing that anyone can do about it.
Don’t get sick, Peepz. Wash your hands frequently and don’t forget to moisturize afterwards. No one likes rough palms.
Source: AP Sports
Image: Jasmine Jae, Victoria Summers & Keiran Lee in Rugby by Brazzers
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