Big Dick Stolen in Vegas

I’m catching up on old sex news stories from things that happened over the summer and I came across this gem that I seemed to have missed. I’m not exactly sure how the fuck I missed writing about it, it’s been in my cue for ages, but now seems to be as good of a time to write about it as any.

Imagine the biggest dildo you can possibly imagine. Now think about the balls that it would take to shoplift that dick right from under the noses of the porno shop that housed it. That’s exactly what happened in Vegas back in July.

A white male wearing a mask walked into the Deja Vu Love Boutique looking like any white male wearing a mask would look. As you can see in the video below, he was a man on a mission. He headed straight towards the massive, three foot tall dildo named Moby (presumably after the Dick), slung it over his shoulder and walked right out the front door.

Here’s the clip from TMZ:

I mean, that’s ballsy, Peepz.

That dick is fucking HUGE! I’m not quite sure how the staff of the boutique would have missed someone walking out the door with something that massive. It’s not even like he tried to conceal it or anything. He just popped it onto his shoulder like a hobo sack and sauntered right back out to his car.

I wonder if he buckled that fucker in while it was riding shotgun.

The store initially offered a reward for the capture and return of Moby Dick, but the lack of follow up reporting on this issue leads me to believe that he was never to be heard from again.

I’m going to leave you Peepz with one of my favorite Herman Melville quotes from the dildo’s namesake piece of literature. It seems appropriate for this situation:

I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I’ll go to it laughing.

Ain’t that the truth.

I really hope that they guy that stole that dildo hasn’t impaled himself on it or anything. That thing looks like it could hurt someone.

Source: TMZ

Image: Marsha May in Vice City Vacation: Part Two by Brazzers

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It’s Hot When You Don’t Want Me

Just came back from hanging with the girlfriends. Sally (not her real name) was gushing about this new man she can’t decide if she wants to sleep with or not. Sally is a hot girl with the kind of wild spirit that you only read about in novels or see on movies. She’s tattooed, teaches yoga (and is very good at all the difficult poses we can only dream about doing), bartends topless at a biker bar sometimes because why not? And has the kind of carefree attitude that you generally associate with someone a lot less put together than her.

It comes as no surprise that men literally fall at her feet. And as I write this it feels like Sally isn’t a real person, but seriously, she is guys! Anyway, the men at Sally’s feet – there are plenty, all aided by the fact that she is not interested in you unless you have your shit together. So when she started gushing about her new ‘maybe’ interest it was interesting.

She said, “We went on a date and it was great because he didn’t try and pull anything. I know he’s interested in me but he didn’t try to touch me or anything. It was so refreshing!” And there it was, this paradox of being interested but not ‘making moves’. I’m sure not all women feel this way, but at least at the table that I sat at, all my girlfriends had the same reaction, when a man shows that he is clearly interested without being pushy, touchy or expects anything it is hot as hell.

He never beat around the bush that he wants to ask her out. He never pretends that they’re just going to ‘chill with friends’. He does make his intentions clear. But then he gives her space to get used to him. To get comfortable, and make her decisions about whether or not she’s into him as well. No sexual touching, no trying to make the moves, nothing. Sally’s sure that if she gives him the ‘signal’ then he will make a move, but right now the space she’s getting is refreshing.

It’s a paradox, being with her but also giving her space. It’s a delicious paradox, one that a whole lotta sexy can grow. I am personally someone that loves this kind of space. Like a little pressure cooker, it takes me time to slowly cook. You’ll get nowhere if you’re constantly staring at the cooker to ‘hurry up and cook already’. Once I’m all warmed and ready to go then you can come in and take me all you want but up until then it’s space I need. To let everything soak in, to feel safe, to see what’s going on, to almost taste the energy between us.

Sally too is like me. I suspect that many women are. Not all I’m sure, but many. And some men too. I wish that I could meet more men where the seduction is sure and yet spacious. I’m sure when it comes to seduction I’m no expert either. I’m sure if given a choice I too would be taken over by my infatuation with a new possible playmate and I would want everything now, right here.

So no, I’m no expert seductress. But still, the fantasy is there. Occasionally I meet men who can seduce in this manner. Sometimes I am the one doing the seducing and yet sometimes both of us are failing at the art of seduction. It is such a delicate game, one that I don’t think I’ll master in this lifetime, but that will always fascinate me.

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Maybe Love Isn’t So Powerful, After All?

I’m not big on quoting the Bible, mostly because I’m frankly not that interested in who begat whom, or which animals with divided hooves I’m allowed to eat, something which might also depend on whether they chew cud.

Having said this, I’ve been thinking a lot about something I once read in Corinthians about love, and how among faith, hope and love, “the greatest of these is love.”

From Virgil to Deep Purple, the related notion “love conquers all” (technically, Virgil went with omnia vincit amor) is an oft-repeated axiom in a wide variety of contexts, used to explain everything from why ‘opposites attract’ to the remarkable fortitude people show in defending their loved ones from all manner of threat, the idea love conquers all is held dear by a wide variety of people.

Love comes up in Christian theology all the time, of course, not just in the context of quotes from Corinthians. Jesus loves us and wants us to love each other, God so loved the world he sent his only son down there to be tortured to death by it, etc. etc.

Judging by the key text displayed on a bunch of anti-porn billboards recently erected all over the Bay Area, though, it seems some folks, including religious ones, perhaps don’t think too much of love’s power or resiliency anymore.

This Totally ISN’T A Jesus Thing (Probably/Kinda)

While the people behind the “Porn Kills Love” billboard campaign, a group calling itself Fight The New Drug (FTND), have been adamant about theirs being a secular effort concerned with pornography as a “public health issue,” the group also identifies as the man who “keeps things factual” for FTND as Jason Carroll, a professor of Marriage and Family Studies at Brigham Young University.

So what, you say? Well, as ably chronicled by Samantha Allen, Carroll also happens to be a persistent opponent of same-sex marriage, filing amicus briefs in support of bans on gay marriage at issue in various court cases.

Given the involvement of the Church of Latter Day Saints in the Proposition 8 campaign (involvement the church initially made an effort to deny), I think folks in the Bay Area can be forgiven if they don’t take FTND’s proclamations of secularity at face value.

Plus, if you take a closer look at the “science, facts and personal accounts” relied upon by FTND in making its case against porn, you’ll find they do the same thing all the religious anti-porn groups do (and to be fair, which pro-porn people do, as well, in the opposite direction): cherry-pick from studies which support their agenda, while completely ignoring research which tends to contradict their claims.

The truth is, the scientific jury on porn is still out – and it’s probably going to stay out in the future, given how unlikely it is researchers would ever be permitted to track the impact on porn viewing across a large population sample as it grows from childhood to adulthood, considering how it’s pretty damn illegal to go around showing porn to kids and all, whether you happen to be a scientist in a lab coat or a pervert in a trench coat.

Does Rock Beat Porn, At Least? How About Scissors?

Regardless of whether FTND is a secular group, a religious group, or just another group of worrywarts hung up on other people’s viewing habits, I’m distressed and disappointed by their lack of faith in love.
Do the people at FTND really think the force which has been said to “conquer all” has an Achilles heel when it comes to porn?

If so, and if porn does indeed “kill love,” then maybe porn is the most powerful force in the universe, the ultimate ace up a player’s sleeve in a high stakes, cosmic game of Paper-Scissors-Rock.

It’s not enough to know porn kills love, though; if we’re going to make any sense of the power hierarchy of our universe, we need to know the dynamics and interplay between porn and other emotions, creations and factors.

Does porn also kill greed, for example?

Look, if the love of money is “the root of all evil,” and porn is evil, then it seems to me greed should trump porn, or at the very least result in a ‘push’ requiring some manner of playoff round.
Then again, if porn kills love, then porn also presumably renders greedy people incapable of loving money, which would in turn kill greed.

On its face, killing greed might sound like a good thing – but I suppose it’s not if along with our love of money, we also become deprived of love for our spouses, favorite hats and local sports teams.

After Love, What (Or Whom) Will Porn Kill Next?

If there’s one thing upon which the FTND people and I agree, it’s the fact porn isn’t going away anytime soon. Despite being pretty tough to make money off these days, people will continue to make and distribute porn forever, if for no other reason than to have something inappropriate to offer to celebrities as a potential new line of work.

Given the fact porn isn’t going anywhere, presumably this inanimate serial killer will simply move on to new victims, once it has finished killing all the love in the world. So, the question becomes, what will porn kill next?

My money is on either trust, respect or affection, being close cousins of love which might seek revenge on porn for murdering a relative. It’s also possible, though, after killing love, porn will be in need of some serious public relations damage control, meaning it might target something from the darker side of human nature, like envy or Rush Limbaugh.

Whatever or whomever porn’s next victim might be, there’s another crucially important question here, one which I hadn’t considered until this very moment: Once love is completely dead and buried, what’s
the new slogan going to be on FTND’s billboards and t-shirts?

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Locals Complain About Loud Sex, Music During EDM Festival

Though music festivals like EDC and Coachella dominate popular culture, there are many multi-day concerts held all over the world. Given that sex is part of the experience and a primary reason some people make the trip, it’s reasonable to deduce that events held outside of the US are probably pretty wild.

Between winning both the Super Bowl and World Series every year, Americans just don’t have time to be as sexually progressive as less athletic countries such as England.

While it may not be the best country for being caught with a butter knife on CCTV, the English people are among the world’s most accepting of sexuality and alternative lifestyles. This is made evident by the sexual ferocity of their music festivals.

Flamefest is a “kink rave festival” held in the town of Tunbridge Wells in western Kent, England. It’s an affluent town with a number of businesses that would normally be excited about the influx of visitors and money that a music festival generates. That is until they heard about all the sex going on in the woods, then they were kind of pissed.

Tucked in the Brokes Woods just outside of town, Flamefest was assumed to be a standard festival for electronic dance music enthusiasts. Unbeknownst to the residence of Tunbridge Wells, however, the event was also to gather “the purest, most hedonistic elements of the party scene” including fetishists and the people who like to get weird.

Along with the usual musical performances and casual drug use were outdoor sex dungeons and other “adult playgrounds.” Given that regular festivals quickly turn into casual sex conventions, Flamefest managed to cause quite a stir with all of its loud music and outdoor fucking.

Left feeling both shocked and appalled, many residents were left with no other recourse than to furiously complain to local politicians.

According to councilor Dianne Hill, the complaints weren’t so much because people are prudes about outdoor sex and bass drops, they were just unaware of what was happening. She explained that while event organizers had all the proper permits and permissions, they never told the city what exactly would be going on. After all, what part of a “kink rave festival” says anything about people having sex and playing loud music?

Festival organizers responded to the criticism by saying Flamefest was a private event and no sex acts were visible to the public. Whatever people heard was simply the music and festivities that they were permitted for. The fact that that a bunch of consenting adults had sex in the woods during the event is an unavoidable consequence of encouraging a bunch of kinky, rave-loving music fans to camp out for the weekend.

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Woman Born Without Vagina Seeks Surgery, Sex With Boyfriend

Every once in a while I learn something new while writing for this website. The resulting onslaught of Wikipedia articles and scholarly journals I’m required to read in order to talk about it makes me feel better about myself and gives me something to bring up at my next dinner party.

This time, during a lull in the conversation I can clear my throat and announce to the table, “hey did you guys know women can be born without vaginas? Sucks right?”

Known as Mayer Rokitansky Küster Hauser syndrome, women with this condition are born without a cervix, uterus, or vaginal opening. Being otherwise healthy, it typically goes undiagnosed until early adulthood or whenever women start seeing a gynecologist. This is how it played out for one woman from Gilbert, Arizona.

Kaylee Moats was 18 years old when she found out she would never be able to have children. During a routine exam, an ultrasound revealed that she was missing most of her reproductive organs. When her doctor decided to take a look for herself, she found out Kaylee didn’t have a vaginal opening either and the MRKH diagnosis was confirmed. Though she and her mother were devastated, Moats moved on with her life.

Now, a 22-year-old Kaylee was faced with another gruesome consequence of her condition- she’d never be able to have sex with her boyfriend. Thankfully science is here to help.

Moats met her boyfriend, Robbie, during her senior year of college. After confiding to her suitor that she didn’t have a vaginal opening thus making conventional sex impossible, his understanding and support only made her love him more.

Fueled with passion, hormones, and more determination than ever to fuck the love of her life she decided to see if doctors could help her out. After all, if modern medical science can rearrange a penis and ball sack into a passable vagina surely they could do something her.

Unfortunately for Kaylee, the surgery to correct her condition was classified as an optional surgery by her insurance company. Considered the same as a cosmetic procedure or a gender reassessment, creating a vaginal opening for a woman who wasn’t born with one would not be covered by her insurer. Hmph!

Thankfully Kaylee’s sister Amanda started a successful GoFundMe campaign to raise the $15,000 dollars she needs to have the procedure done.

Though excited about the procedure, Moats doesn’t know if her new vagina will perform well enough for sexual intercourse. During an interview she expressed concern if everything will hold together or if sex will even be pleasurable for her. Still, for Robbie, she’s willing to try.

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Dangerous Threesome Leaves Two Women With Broken Bones?

I’ve never been in a threesome but I have seen a lot of videos of them on Pornhub. There’s certainly an appeal to them and they’re often portrayed as the ultimate sexual experience in television and movies. With all these stories glorifying the raw sexuality of threesomes it’s no surprise that being in one is on almost everyone’s sexual bucket list.

Personally I don’t think they’re for me. Call me old fashioned but when I’m having sex with someone I don’t want to get into a competition for attention. I’m way more interested in the intimacy and emotional satisfaction of one-on-one sexual encounters.

In all the videos I’ve watched there’s always one person who eventually gets left out. For example MMF threesomes typically end as some kind of impromptu cuckold situation where one guy blows his load in the middle and spends the rest of the video watching a stud fucks his wife. Don’t even get me started on FFM threesomes- those are just dangerous.

According to a news story from Germany, what started as an innocent night of hot sex between a man and two women ended in a tragedy that left two women with broken bones. That doesn’t sound sexy at all!

The trio was having sex in an apartment in Bad Breisig, and everything was going well at first. After one of the women starting jockeying for better position in the sexual melee, she leaned against a railing and fell over the top of it. Upon hitting the ground she suffered broken bones in her feet and legs which caused her sexual partners to scream in horror and rush to her aid.

Amongst all the excitement the other woman ran out of the apartment naked and slipped on the stairs breaking bones in her arms and neck. Ach mein Gott!

When police arrived and found two naked women lying on the ground with broken bones, they had a lot of questions. After chalking the carnage up to yet another case of group sex gone awry, the women were taken to a hospital and officers made their reports. Since no crimes were committed the names of the people involved were withheld to spare them further embarrassment.

Stories like this certainly don’t help change my mind about group sex. Though I’m sure this is an isolated incident the idea of sharing a sexual partner just rubs me the wrong way; granted I’m probably the least competitive person on the planet.

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Australian Sex Party Linked to Corona Outbreak

My, “Perverse Australian BFF who I’d go back to men for,” (no I wouldn’t, he made me write that) sent me an article over twitter about his hometown of Colac in Australia. It’s a VERY small town, so when the news started reporting that there was a COVID outbreak due to a swinger’s party that happened in August, everyone knew exactly whose house the party was at.

He had a hilariously uncomfortable conversation with his dad about the party and I need to share it with you (with his permission, of course).

So, because it’s Colac, of course my Dad knew whose place the sex party was at. In his words, “I wouldn’t have gone but it would have been nice to get an invite,”

I responded with a long winded OH MY GOD

Plus!

“Yeah, Colac used to have that scene with the keys, or you’d take a shoe from the pile…” I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THE SHOE BUSINESS AND THAT IS TOO SPECIFIC!

This is what happens when the media invades small towns to report on a sexually charged topic in the middle of a pandemic.

The party itself took place on August 29th. Police were notified of the soiree after contact tracing made it evident that someone at the party brought COVID-19 into the mix. The owners of the home were fined a bunch of money and now have a bunch of shame and guilt to deal with.

I’ll tell you what, Peepz…

I miss going to BDSM munches and parties. This summer, all of the kink festivals that I usually go to were canceled. It was a huge bummer, but you know what? I haven’t gotten sick yet and that’s mostly because I’m a complete freak about wearing my personal protective equipment, social distancing and washing my damn hands.

This fall, COVID is going to be the new Salem Witch Trials and we need to be as vigilant as we can possibly be to get this virus under control. I don’t give a fuck if you’re tired of not going out all the time. If you’re in a shitty home situation (and I mean…I’m living with my ex wife, so I feel you) then find socially distanced ways to get out of the house when you can.

Right now, we’re bored and going stir crazy, I know. It will all be worth it in the long run though…Cheers to 2022, am I right?

Source: News Australia

Image: Valentine’s Affair by Brazzers

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Fap Along with Harlot: Bang Gonzo

Do you miss Gonzo porn? Sometimes I do. The fad of shooting first person clips was the thing to do about a decade ago. I’m still here for it though. I like seeing the up close and personal views that can be provided when the person holding the camera is the one getting in on the action.

Today I’ve pulled five clips for us to enjoy together from the Bang Gonzo channel. Are you Peepz ready to have some fun? My panties are already down at my ankles and I’m waiting for you to come play…Grab your favorite jizz towel and let’s Fap!

Kenzie Reeves is a squirting machine. She takes the first few minutes of this clip to explain how hot cum gets her and then she squirts all over the guy holding the camera. Wait until you see how sexy it is when she puts her knees up to her ears and really lets loose.

If there’s one thing that Manuel Ferrera knows, it’s buttholes. He licks the bum of Megan Rain and makes sure that he gets all the right angles so that we can enjoy it just as much as he does.

Is there anything better than Emma Hix oiled up and bent over on a couch? No, Peepz. The answer to that question is no. She starts off this clip taking care of her butthole all by herself. The zoom on the camera is definitely working overtime for this one.

If you happen to be the type of porno watcher who enjoys large tits, you’re in for a treat with this next clip. Pink fishnet and a tiny bikini are all that is standing in the way of Savannah Bond’s desires.

Maybe it’s because she’s from Jersey, but I have such a soft (wet) spot for Joanna Angel. In this Bang Gonzo clip, she’s splayed out on a couch wearing blue lingerie waiting for us to enjoy her company. She whips out a glass dildo to fuck her bum while she’s waiting for the stunt cock to arrive on set.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. I hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I did. Don’t forget to clean up your mess, you filthy pervert. If you’d like a Fap Along list of your very own, slide into my DMs on twitter and let’s start the conversation.

Image: Olivia Austin in All Dolled Up: Gonzo Edition by Brazzers

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Fantasy Friday: Light Me Up

You know how I know this woman I’m dating is a real one? She’s willing to experiment with my body in ways that she never has before. I talked about her fascinating dragon dick collection a few weeks ago, and last weekend she let me teach her all about my favorite fetish…Electro Kink.

Violet Wands are my weapon of choice. I use the word “toy” very loosely when I’m describing it. To steal a description from Wikitonary, “It’s a device used for the application of low-current, high-voltage electricity to the body using an Oudin coil, originally claimed to have medical benefits and more recently used BDSM.” All truth.

I had a wand many moons ago, but had to sell it in my early 20s so that I could pay my rent. When the opportunity came up at TES fest awhile back, I opted to drop the cash and pick another one up. While I never regretted spending that much money on something that creates a sensation that I love, my ex and I only played with it once…and it’s not the type of toy that you can play with on your own.

Enter: My very own customizable Butch.

We were sitting on the couch last Saturday when she asked me if I wanted to try some BDSM. If I’m being honest, we’ve spent so much time having actual sex that the thought hadn’t even entered into my mind. Of course I was down to play though. We went upstairs to my room and I pulled out my wand. I had to teach her how to use the machine from scratch, as she had never even heard of such a toy before we started speaking. She’s an Engineer by degree though, so she didn’t have a hard time picking up the science of it all.

She played with each one of the attachments, making sure to watch the power and check in with me the whole time. Her favorite part of it all was watching the electricity ark on my tits. The power was fairly low, so while it did sting, it didn’t hurt. The look in her eyes was driving me crazy though. It was Dominant and it was safe and it was so incredibly sexy.

At one point, she told me to lay on my back and spread my legs. She dragged the wand down my inner thighs and started inching her way towards my pussy. I had my underwear on still, but even through the fabric I was able to feel the energy pulsing through my clit and the rest of my body. I started screaming in that panicked way that submissives do when they are experiencing something they really enjoy but are afraid of all at the same time.

My lady couldn’t take any more though. “Get naked, I’m going to fuck you now,” was the last thing she said to me before she strapped on her dick to get down to business.

Image: Emma Hix and Molly Stewart in Caught in Her Web by Brazzers

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Fantasy Friday: Light Me Up

You know how I know this woman I’m dating is a real one? She’s willing to experiment with my body in ways that she never has before. I talked about her fascinating dragon dick collection a few weeks ago, and last weekend she let me teach her all about my favorite fetish…Electro Kink.

Violet Wands are my weapon of choice. I use the word “toy” very loosely when I’m describing it. To steal a description from Wikitonary, “It’s a device used for the application of low-current, high-voltage electricity to the body using an Oudin coil, originally claimed to have medical benefits and more recently used BDSM.” All truth.

I had a wand many moons ago, but had to sell it in my early 20s so that I could pay my rent. When the opportunity came up at TES fest awhile back, I opted to drop the cash and pick another one up. While I never regretted spending that much money on something that creates a sensation that I love, my ex and I only played with it once…and it’s not the type of toy that you can play with on your own.

Enter: My very own customizable Butch.

We were sitting on the couch last Saturday when she asked me if I wanted to try some BDSM. If I’m being honest, we’ve spent so much time having actual sex that the thought hadn’t even entered into my mind. Of course I was down to play though. We went upstairs to my room and I pulled out my wand. I had to teach her how to use the machine from scratch, as she had never even heard of such a toy before we started speaking. She’s an Engineer by degree though, so she didn’t have a hard time picking up the science of it all.

She played with each one of the attachments, making sure to watch the power and check in with me the whole time. Her favorite part of it all was watching the electricity ark on my tits. The power was fairly low, so while it did sting, it didn’t hurt. The look in her eyes was driving me crazy though. It was Dominant and it was safe and it was so incredibly sexy.

At one point, she told me to lay on my back and spread my legs. She dragged the wand down my inner thighs and started inching her way towards my pussy. I had my underwear on still, but even through the fabric I was able to feel the energy pulsing through my clit and the rest of my body. I started screaming in that panicked way that submissives do when they are experiencing something they really enjoy but are afraid of all at the same time.

My lady couldn’t take any more though. “Get naked, I’m going to fuck you now,” was the last thing she said to me before she strapped on her dick to get down to business.

Image: Emma Hix and Molly Stewart in Caught in Her Web by Brazzers

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Get Your Booty to the Polls!

I love a good, sexually charged ad campaign. Ass shaking and beautiful women will always grab my attention. One of my Internet friends slipped me a link to an amazing campaign that’s being used to get out the vote in the United States, specially in the area of Atlanta, Georgia.

A band of dancers from the finest Gentlemen’s clubs in the city decided to get together to get the word out about voting. This November’s election is an important one (as every single damn election is, btw) and they want to make sure that you are focused enough to do your duty and vote.

I mean, I was definitely hypnotized by the asses shaking in their promo video, so I know you’ll be entranced. Are you ready for this? Because I’m pretty sure that I’ve never been as turned on about voting as I am right now. Here’s the clip:

I mean, right?

I’m registered to vote by mail at this point in the game. I can’t wait to get my ballot in my hand and head straight back to the post office the very same day. If you aren’t registered to vote and you’re in the U.S. take those fine asses as a sign that you should do so immediately.

From their website, you can get information on how to register and see sample ballots so that you know what you’re doing before you head into the magic box.

Are you Peepz registered to vote? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter if you’d like to discuss things more privately.

Source and Image: Get Your Booty to the Polls

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Pussy Power is on the Move

I will fully admit that I’m the type of woman that carries crystals around with her to protect my energy. While I am a scientific thinker, I was also raised to have faith and while I no longer subscribe to that particular type of faith anymore, I do believe that we’re all surrounded by “vibes” and energy. We give and we take from the universe and we are punished or rewarded (or neither) for our actions.

Whatever. Laugh if you’d like…it’s my spiritual journey and if I want to fuck myself with some dildos made of jade and rose quartz, I’m going to do it.

I don’t subscribe to everything that Gwyneth Paltrow and her website Goop have to say. In fact, most of the stuff that they write about is outside of my mind’s comfort zone. I’m not doing juice fasts or getting crazy with psychics or anything. She recently did an interview with InStyle Magazine talking about Pussy Power though, and I am definitely here for that.

Gwyneth released a candle that smelled like her vagina a few years back and people went crazy for it. Part of that whole schtick was to normalize having conversations about pussies. It certainly got the whole internet talking, that’s for sure.

In the interview, she talks about how the Cardi B/Megan Thee Stallion song WAP is helping that journey along. We can celebrate our bodies and discuss them without feeling ashamed. Our sex, gender and sexuality are all very different parts of ourselves and everyone should be able to freely discuss any or all of those bits.

Vagina having people have been repressed for so long that some of us have forgotten to celebrate every inch of our bodies. We have every right to touch ourselves and have conversations about how all of that feels. When songs like WAP are played everywhere, it tells the patriarchy to fuck the hell off and empowers us even more.

Gwyneth is quoted in the article below as saying:

It’s all part of the crumbling patriarchy and I think that we’re all changing it by releasing, like, a punk rock, feminist candle and Cardi B is changing it by her incredible lyrical prowess. You have to push, you have to go too far. You have to have a ‘WAP’ song or a ‘Smells Like My Vagina’ candle. So people are like, ‘What is this?’ And they freak out. And then the center moves a little bit more this way. It’s a process that happens over time.

Yeah, for real. Pussy power for life, Peepz. It’s what makes the world go round.

Source: Instyle

Image: Goop’s Instagram

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Fap Along with Harlot: Colored Hair Everywhere

The midlife crisis that I’m going through right now is no secret. Life is tough for everyone and I’m looking for ways to cope. Getting dicked down every weekend is certainly helping, but I keep thinking that MAYBE being a 40-year-old woman isn’t all I dreamed it would be. I want drastic change and I’m thinking that I may start at the top of my head.

Radiantly colored hair has long been an obsession of mine. I love the way that colored heads stand out in the crowd so that everyone’s eyes are focused on them. I wonder most about how I’d look with a bright purple head of hair, but blue would be fun too.

Because I do a lot of beauty/fashion research on Pornhub (don’t judge me) I figured I’d pull five clips of lovely ladies with brightly colored hair for us to enjoy together today. Are you ready? Pull out your jizz towels and let’s fap!

Val Steele says that she lives under a bridge and her purple hair is completely natural because she bathes in the river. My favorite part of this clip is the look in her eyes when she’s slobbering on the camera guy’s dick. It’s intense, Peepz. You’re going to love it.

Yoga may keep you fit, but the babe in this video will attribute her youthful skin to the shots of cum that she takes on her cheeks. She’s flexible with a shaved pussy that soaked by the time she takes her work out clothes off.

Put on your VR specs for this next one, Peepz. This purple-haired hottie loves to show off her pierced nipples whenever the camera is on. Don’t forget to move the screen around so you can watch what happens when she gets down on her knees and opens her mouth up wide.

After a hot date, the couple in this next video can’t even wait to get into the bedroom. They turn their white couch into a sex couch, complete with a spanking session and some pussy eating action.

I keep going back and forth over whether this next woman has pink hair or if it’s purple. It doesn’t matter, honestly…but these are the types of things that I argue about with myself. She gets her pussy split wide open by a stunt cock and moans so loud the whole fucking time. It’s pretty amazing.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. Do you think I should dye my hair some wild color or should I stick with the salt and pepper that I’m dealing with now a days? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with your thoughts.

Image: Aston Pierce in Cyber Punk Fuck by Brazzers

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Fantasy Friday: Sex in the Garden

I’m on vacation right now. It’s a short/long weekend, but I’ll take whatever time off I can get. Yesterday, my new lady and I went to a massive botanical garden about two hours away from my home. As a disclaimer before I start my fantasy, I want to reassure you that it was as safe as humanly possible, considering COVID. Everyone was wearing masks and socially distancing.

Anyway…

We spent the whole day plotting and trying to figure out where we could sneak away to bang. There was literally no where. Every time we thought we found a secluded spot, some unsuspecting family would turn the corner and we’d have to separate rather quickly. There was ONE spot that could have been private enough for us to get intimate for a few minutes, but there 4 cameras in the room and I wasn’t about to start fucking around with security.

I’m smarter than that.

The room with the cameras is in the header image above. It was hella sexy. There was only sunlight streaming in through the front window and a massive waterfall coming down through the center of the room. Of all the beautiful places that we wandered, that was the one place that I couldn’t get out of my head.

I wanted her to push me up against the cement lattice and tie my arms up above my head. She would smirk as she nudged my legs apart with her knees. I feel like the entire session would be edging. It’s too erotic of a place to make things happen quickly. I wanted her to make me melt into a puddle of pussy and cum.

When my wrists were tied and my legs were spread, she would lift up my skirt so that she could have a look at my pussy. Her fingers would slowly trace my slit before they dipped inside to make sure that I was soaked. I’m sure that everyone outside of the grotto would be able to hear me at that point. There’s no way that I’d be able to stay quiet.

I think that someone would end up wandering in to stop us…but then they would be so hypnotized by the way she was working my body that they would end up just standing in the background watching until she was finished with me.

What would you Peepz do if you turned a corner and caught my girl and I messing around? Slide into my DMs on twitter and let me know.

Image: Harlot’s Private Stash

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Miley Cyrus Talks Sex

Miley Cyrus is one of my guilty pleasures. I was so into Wrecking Ball when it came out that my ex used to get pissed at me playing it on repeat. Every now and then I fall down into a Miley rabbit hole on the Internet and I can’t stop myself from digging down.

This time I ended up stumbling upon a music video from last month. The song is called Midnight Sky. It’s got a disco/late 70s/early 80s vibe to it and the hook is now stuck in my brain. I’m going to get it stuck in yours because she’s naked a few times throughout so it’s topical to Peeperz.

That video had me hunting around for her recent promo clips and I discovered that she was interviewed on the Call Me Daddy Podcast in August. I clicked play (don’t worry, there are links for you to click below) and discovered so much more about my celebrity crush and what makes her tick…in and out of the bedroom.

Miley is a completely sexually liberated icon and that’s why I love her so much. She takes care of herself and her own needs first and that’s exactly how it should be.

If Miley had to choose between getting eaten out of fingered, she would finger herself. Sames girl, sames. It’s not that I don’t like oral sex, I love when my partners lick between my thighs and make me feel good. My whole thing is that I enjoy giving myself pleasure. I enjoy the way that it feels when I touch my body and I take care of myself. Again though, that’s the case in and out of the bedroom.

Here’s a promo clip from Call Her Daddy’s insta page.

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THE LEGEND, THE QUEEN, THE ULTIMATE DADDY IS HERE. AT MIDNIGHT the @mileycyrus episode drops. High sex, girl on girl, foreplay, getting over heartbreak, therapy, love languages, guilt, trauma, blowjobs, and most importantly- TEA being spilled. GET READY and make sure you are subscribed on Apple or Spotify so the episode downloads immediately and you can listen right at 12 @alexandracooper presented by @honey

A post shared by CALL HER DADDY (@callherdaddy) on Aug 13, 2020 at 2:44pm PDT

My fav quote is when Miley says that she’s only into dicks as aesthetics. To listen to the full podcast on Barstool Sports, you can CLICK HERE or you can watch the full episode via Youtube:

I’m excited for Miley and the fact that she’s such an outspoken member of the LGBTQ community. The future is hers and she only just discovering who she actually is. She’s going to keep churning out the sexually expressive content and I am totally here for it.

Source: Call Her Daddy Podcast

Image: Miley’s Instagram

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Unpopular Sex Opinions

Over the years, with all the sex I’ve had and all the knowledge I’ve stuffed into my brain, I’ve formulated a few unpopular opinions. The one that gets the biggest rise out of people is the fact that threesomes are trash and group sex should only be had in even numbered groups. Once you get 9 people in the room, that doesn’t matter anymore, but I’ll still say no to an orgy of 8.

Buzzfeed recently asked their readers to rattle off their own unpopular sex opinions and some of them were super surprising to me. Let’s talk about a few of them and see if we agree.

Kissing during sex isn’t enjoyable.

Complete disagree from me. I’ll make out all day long whether your dick is balls deep inside of me or not. I’m hella into experiencing the chemistry of my partner via their mouths. Back in the day, I’d bang dudes who weren’t into kissing me (because they didn’t want to get attached? Whatever) but at this point in my life, I’m not touching you if you can’t kiss. Period.

Doggie Style is the worst position.

Honestly, this one depends on the dick and the height of my partner. My new girl is only 5 feet tall. She’s a sexy, butch powerhouse of a woman but fucking doggie style doesn’t work for us. I have to spread my knees too wide to be comfortable to get my ass down to her level. I’ll do Reverse Cowgirl over Doggie every day of the week though.

Toys aren’t just for masturbation.

I mean…agree. Dildos and vibrators make my world go round. Every time I’m banging, I’ve got a toy super close to me. I love the feeling of vibrations coursing through my body when I’m getting dicked down hard. The trifecta is getting fucked with a dragon dick that’s wearing a vibrating cock ring while I’m working a vibe on my clit. It’s so intense and amazing.

Bigger penises aren’t better.

I’ve been fucked by 12 inch soda can dicks that didn’t know what they were doing and I’ve been fucked by micro cocks that had trouble staying inside me because my ass is so thick. The way you stroke in and out is what makes the sex session enjoyable.

Spit is a total turnoff.

I. love. saliva. Bodily fluids aren’t gross to me really. My girl can’t stand strands of spit so I’ve had to change the way that I give her head. I’m all about showing off how sticky, icky, icky things are getting when I’m diving in to take a taste, but the first time I did it to her, she was like, “NOOOOO!!” Lesson learned. It won’t happen again.

What are some unpopular opinions that you Peepz have about sex? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with your thoughts!

Source: Buzzfeed

Image: Sara Jay in Sara Meets Monster Black Meat by Brazzers

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Fap Along With Harlot: Wedding Wants

I went to a wedding last Saturday, Peepz. Love in the time of COVID has the world flipped upside down, so we were socially distanced the whole time and I sat in the back like the wallflower I am. It was fine, but it got me thinking about what my friend’s wedding night was going to be like.

She’s prim and proper, but I picture her breaking out the handcuffs and getting just a little bit freakier than she usually does. In celebration of her honeymoon starting, I decided to pull five Pornhub clips about weddings. Are you ready to cum with me? I was born to do this.

Let’s Fap!

In this first clip, Madison Ivy and Johnny Castle  are tanned, beautiful and ready to get hitched. I love the way she looks at him over her shoulder while she’s moaning for more cock.

Bad girls need love too. Ava Addams  knows that she needs to try out a new dick before she actually goes through with getting married. She gets caught masturbating in her veil so she sucks off the best man. His cock hits all the right spots so she gives him exactly what he wants.

A pervy wedding planner can’t seem to keep his hands to himself. His huge dick is ready to go when a beautiful, blonde, bride-to-be asks him to fuck her. Her ass is amazing, especially when he bends her over to plow from behind.

The fact that this clip is in French drenched my panties from five seconds in. The bride has some cold feet, so she wants to see if she feels any sparks with an old fling. This guy ravishes her pussy like he hasn’t had a snack in hours and I am 100% here for it.

You Peepz know how much I love a nice set of legs. The first few minutes of this clip involves white, thigh-high stockings and a sheer hoop skirt. The bride isn’t afraid to get dirty and goes straight for the groom’s butthole as soon as he enters the room.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. Don’t forget to clean up after yourself. If you’d like a Fap Along list of your very own, let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with some details.

Image: Abella Danger in Til Cock Do Us Part by Brazzers

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Turning a Corner on Casual Sex

I grew up in a Roman Catholic household. When I was in high school, I went to church every single day to volunteer in one way or another. I’m a bit bitter about how I was asked to leave the church, but the good thing is that leaving brought me down a path that lead me straight into your laps.

One of my biggest issues with my upbringing was the fact that I knew that sex felt good and I didn’t understand why it was such a big deal to fuck before you got married…especially since I knew that I was into women and at that point in time, I couldn’t marry a woman. Did my family seriously believe that I was supposed to NOT have sex forever?

That’s super unrealistic.

A survey taken by the Pew Research Center last November seems to show that there are more Christians out there that agree with my thinking.

The study itself actually involved dating as a whole. The topics range from dating during the #MeToo movement and coming to terms with dating someone long distance. Finding people to connect with has always been difficult, but sometimes the over saturation that the Internet has caused makes it seem so much more apparent.

. Here’s a graph of the results the sex before marriage results:

While the study shows that people are cool with bumping uglies before marriage, open relationships and sex on the first date are still seen as more taboo, but feel free to fall in love and sexually express yourself to your partner without putting a ring on it

I’m completely comfortable with the fact that I lost my virginity a few months before my 18th birthday. I was really into the guy and we still talk every once in awhile. In fact, tomorrow I’m going to his baby’s momma’s wedding. He’ll be there for sure and we’ll probably awkwardly avoid talking about the fact that his dick is really big and he’s basically the reason why I’m a size queen.

How old were you Peepz when you first had sex? Do you think you were ready for it or do you wish that you waited a bit longer?

Source: Pew Research Center

Image: Nina Rivera in Bubble Butt Bride by Brazzers

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Sex Positions to Energize You

In the past two months, my sex life has gone from completely nonexistent back to hyper-drive. Sometimes my eyes are bigger than my pussy though, if I’m being honest. I love the sensations of all those massive dragon dicks that I’ve been riding, but I have to be careful about stretching my pussy out too much.

Rather than experimenting with massive cocks and seeing how much my girl can pack into my cunt, I’ve started researching different positions to see if something piques my interest. I came across the Bustle article linked below, which tells you all about seven positions to try if you need an energy boost. The main reason why I read the whole article was that my fav position was right on top.

First up is Reverse Cowgirl! This is my fav because I can be both aggressive and lazy about it. I love hopping on top of my lady’s cock and slowly lowering myself down onto it. I can control the depth, speed and ferociousness of my strokes. Like the article suggests, it’s all about me.

Doggie style is next. It’s a timeless way to bang. You get the closeness of being able to touch your partner with multiple limbs. Sticking my ass up in the air makes me feel so fucking sexy, especially when I’m wagging my pussy at her, just begging to get banged.

Seated back bend is one that’s a bit difficult for me. You sit on top of the dick and lean backwards so that you’re laying on your partner’s legs. Then the fucker sits up to do the thrusting. I think the invigorating thing about this position is that it’s so difficult. You’re really getting a workout while you are trying not to fall over. Slight disclaimer is that you need to have kind of a long dick in order to make this one function properly.

I am also a big fan of the Sideways Straddle because I can get some clit stim in while the pipe is being laid inside me. The fucker lays down flat but bends one knee. The fuck-ee climbs onto the dick and turns themselves sideways so that there’s some attention given to the front of the box as well. It’s fun.

Chair sex is always bomb. You can go forwards or backwards, it really doesn’t matter. You can either keep your feet on the ground or pull them up for some ab work. I love trying out different chairs to see which ones feel best.

If you are into getting penetrated super deep, my recommendation is The Splitter. The fuck-ee lays down on their back while the fucker grabs one of the fuck-ee’s legs and holds it near their shoulder. One leg up, one leg down leads to extremely deep penetration, which happens to be just the way that I like it.

The last invigorating sex position Bustle suggests is called Coital Alignment Technique. To do this one, the fucker’s legs are outside of the fuck-ee’s but the fuck-ee is on their back. Rather than thrusting in and out, you grind into your partner to provide some pleasure on the clit rather than only on the inside bits.

What do you Peepz think about these sex positions? Have you tried any of them and felt energized? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DM’s on twitter with your sordid stories.

Source: Bustle

Image: Abella Danger in Cum Thru 3 by Brazzers

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Is Ex Sex OK?

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Fap Along With Harlot: Sarah Banks

This week, I’m completely infatuated with Sarah Banks. She’s a pornstar from Atlanta, Georgia who genuinely loves shaking her ass for the camera. When she opens up her thighs, magic happens for real.

I wanted to share my newest crush with some of my favorite Peepz, I hope you don’t mind. Sarah is definitely worth all of the energy that you’re about to exert on yourself.

Are you ready to have some fun? I’ve been waiting all week to share these clips with you, so don’t disappoint me with a weak cumshot. Grab your favorite jizz towel and let’s fap!

 Jessica Rex gets on Sarah’s good side in this cosplay vid. The ladies wear bright wigs while they lick each other senseless and get their fill of each other’s bodies.

Sarah really has a fantastic ass. Visually it’s stunning and when it comes time to take a thick stick of cock straight up it, she’s willing to please. I’m really into how much she teases in this next clip. Her pink panties make her seam so innocent.

There are definitely a whole lot of overworked nurses out there right now who could stand for some sex relief. Sarah is dressed in scrubs for awhile, but the clothing comes off quickly so that she can scratch that itch she’s been looking to satisfy.

Sarah’s pierced nipples are show stoppers. They sparkle just the right amount to draw your attention straight to her tits. I love the way that her eyes roll into the back of her head while she’s getting them licked.

Face sitting is one of my favorite sexual activities. I feel like there is not enough decent face sitting porn out there. Sarah takes the opportunity to make sure her boss’ tongue can be useful for something other than barking orders.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. I made a sloppy mess of myself so I’m going to hop in the shower and clean up…I suggest you do the same. If you’d like a Fap Along list of your very own, let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with your requests.

Image: Sarah Banks  in Twerk it Sarah Banks by Mofos

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The Clermont Twins Have My Attention

I scroll through Instagram a lot these days. For the past few months, I’ve been seriously enamored by The Clermont Twins. The party girl duo has been a hot topic here at Peeperz since the days of Lola. Terry Richardson has shot them a bunch but they made serious names for themselves on The Bad Girls Club.

Reality television really isn’t my bag, but this is the type of train wreck that I can sink my teeth into, if I’m not careful.

The twins, Shannon and Shannade, are always ready to throw down for good dick or just to instigate other ladies. Sponsored ads litter up their feed, but the pics that they take have me slowing down my scroll to make sure that I’m not missing anything.

I’m going to drop some of my recent favs into this post so we can drool together. Wait till you get a load of their bodies.

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A BARBIE BUT ACT LIKE A BRAT Kini @fashionnova fashionnovapartner #clermonttwins

A post shared by Shannon and Shannade Clermont (@clermonttwins) on Aug 29, 2020 at 7:27pm PDT

I’m going to drop a bunch of their recent Insta posts for you Peepz because I feel like you all need to appreciate these bodies like the are meant to be appreciated.

Hit the arrow for the second pic in this to get an excellent view of their posterior.

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WITH A CHERRY ON TOP Fit @dripexotics #clermonttwins

A post shared by Shannon and Shannade Clermont (@clermonttwins) on Aug 19, 2020 at 12:32pm PDT

This penis bra with ball tassels is the illest. I’m not sure where the fuck I would wear something like that, but I’m sure it would be a hit at any fetish party I end up going to whenever the world opens up again.

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TONGUE DEMON bodysuit @prettylittlething #AD #clermonttwins

A post shared by Shannon and Shannade Clermont (@clermonttwins) on Aug 7, 2020 at 12:57am PDT

Getting wet and dirty on the waves sounds like such a good time to me.

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DIDNT REPLY BUT HE GET THE MESSAGE kini @prettylittlething #AD #clermonttwins

A post shared by Shannon and Shannade Clermont (@clermonttwins) on Jul 26, 2020 at 7:23pm PDT

Some gratuitous nipples for us all to enjoy, perhaps?

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CUT A CHECK FOR A BLACK GIRL TODAY Unit @kendrasboutique #clermonttwins

A post shared by Shannon and Shannade Clermont (@clermonttwins) on Jun 19, 2020 at 7:56pm PDT

Here’s the last one…I could keep going, but I feel like 6 is enough.

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Dress @fashionnova U AINT FUCK ME U FUCKED MY OLD BODY fashionnovapartner #clermonttwins

A post shared by Shannon and Shannade Clermont (@clermonttwins) on Jun 14, 2020 at 6:07pm PDT

What do you Peepz think about The Clermont Twins? Do you follow them on Insta? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs with the details and I’ll tell you about a very specific fantasy I have involving the twosome.

Image: Clermont Twin’s Instagram

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