Coast Guard Rescues Sex Doll Found Drifting In Ocean?

Coming from a coastal town, I respect the hard work done by the men and women of Coast Guard programs around the world. The ocean is a treacherous beast and when people fall prey to their own stupidity or bad luck, the Coast Guard is there to save them from it.

They’re constantly preparing themselves both physically and mentally to risk their lives and help others. However when a UK crew was called out earlier this month after reports of a body floating around at sea, they were probably equally annoyed and relieved that it was just somebody’s inflatable sex doll.

The wayward fuck toy caused quite a commotion for volunteer rescuers and a Coastguard helicopter team from Cornwall in South West England. They spent 90 minutes looking for someone floating around at sea after receiving a call from a concerned rock-angler, and thanks to a detailed description of the situation they were able to find the victim quickly.

Aside from the fact that they got all riled up just to pull someone’s escaped masturbatory aid out of the ocean, it was an excellent effort by everyone involved.

According to lifeboat operations manager Gareth Horner, the angler who spotted the doll was genuinely concerned when he spotted a body and that was a good enough reason for volunteers and the Coastguard to mobilize. After a rescue helicopter spotted what was presumed to be the body, volunteers in a lifeboat retrieved it which was when everyone found out it was an inflatable sex doll.

Nobody is quite sure how the doll drifted out to sea, but if I had to guess someone probably brought it to the beach to use as a floatie and left it behind after all its various holes got full of sand. The original owner most likely had no idea how much trouble ditching the doll would cause. Oops.

Given what I’ve learned about the UK by reading exaggerated news stories on the internet, having inflatable sex toys in public will now be banned along with wielding butter knives, owning too many spoons, and having access to internet pornography.

Image: Kaylynn in I’ll Be Your Blow-Up Doll by Brazzers

Via news.com.au

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