ICE Agent Sends Unwanted Sexual Texts, Federal Secrets To Anchor

One the ways to measure the size of a city is to completely ignore any census data and watch their local news. The bigger a market is the more revenue available to their network television affiliates. This is directly reflected by the quality of their news production and the on-air talent they can afford.

Coincidently it also determines how attractive their news anchors are.

Sex sells and nobody knows that better than your local television companies. With several channels scrambling to cover the same handful of stories, viewership and advertising money can come down to the likability of the on-air talent. News anchors come in two distinct categories: the affable old man with a catch phrase and the most attractive journalist willing to live in your city.

These local television personalities often become celebrities that garner a small following of admirers. Unfortunately, these passionate news viewers can tank things too far and prevent journalists from doing their jobs.

This is what one anchor from KAKE-TV in Wichita, Kansas found out when a local Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent became infatuated with her. When the man started bombarding her with unwanted sexual advances she had a hard time letting her know that was one romance she would rather keep on ice.

Beautiful women with moderate public visibility are no strangers to unwanted attention from men. However, when Deb Farris began receiving excessive messages from ICE agent Andrew Pleviak, things got a little bit more intense than a few lewd text messages.

Farris initially contacted the agency while investigating a story and exchanged contact information with Pleviak. Afterwards he continued communicating with her, offering not only sensitive government information from his job but lewd and sexual messages. Maybe he thought his dick pics would be news worthy.

By the time Farris went to the cops about the harassment Pleviak had sent her 100s of messages that were inappropriate in one way or another. Between the victim being a public figure with the backing of a news organization and the accused being a federal agent leaking sensitive information, ICE had no choice but to step in. Pleviak was arrested and his phone was confiscated though he admitted to deleting some of the messages he had sent Farris.

The Department of Homeland Security released a statement apologizing for their agent’s actions but were rather vague if Pleviak would face any punishment. I guess revealing government secrets to impress a girl you like while also sending her unwanted sexual text messages might not be enough to get you fired from a federal agency.

Via talkingpointsmemo.com

Image: Melissa Lauren in Naked News by Brazzers

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Former Barney Actor Has New Career As Sex Guru

I have a really good friend who for years hid the fact that she earned a decent living giving people hand jobs as an independent masseuse. Her erotic massages were advertised as performance art but those aware of the craft knew full well she would be rubbing her oily body on them until they achieved a “full release.”

In the years since this reveal I’ve asked her a lot of questions about her work and I’ve come to learn a lot about erotic massages and the people who give them… Like Barney the Dinosaur?

The affable purple dinosaur wasn’t a part of my childhood, but I do remember the years he dominated popular culture. Barney and Friends’ repetitive songs and light-hearted message caused him to be adored by children and hated by any in earshot who had already experienced puberty. However, I hadn’t thought about Barney in years until I read the man behind the costume is now a tantric sex guru.

David Joyner didn’t voice the character, but he did put on the giant purple suit and dance around while Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato sang songs about apples and bananas. Now the 54-year-old makes a living as a spiritual adviser, sex guru, and erotic masseuse. He accomplishes all three of these by having sex with his clients but “tantric sex guru” sounds a lot nicer than calling yourself a male prostitute.

Though prostitution is illegal in the United States, offering erotic massages falls into a grey area. Even though everyone knows there’s going to be orgasms involved, as long as you don’t explicitly advertise it nobody seems to be the wiser. Though these ads tend to use phrases like “full release” that imply sexual gratification, masseuses and even massage parlors manage to avoid arrest by being careful.

If two consenting adults are engaging in the exchange of a massage for money, who’s to say a crime has been committed if someone gets jerked off with an oily armpit or two? Certainly not me, and certainly not Barney the Dinosaur.

Always known as being a very spiritual man, Joyner says he has been running his tantric massage business since 2004. He currently has about 30 clients whom he charges about $350 for a session that includes rituals, massages, and orgasms. He also revealed in an interview that he met most of his clients through Tinder and prefers not to use a condom as they “block the energy” exchanged during sex.

If his work makes people’s lives better and he happens to get paid for having raw energy sex with women on Tinder, then frankly I’m just impressed as I am jealous.

Via news965.com

Image: Giselle Palmer in Cult Of Love by Brazzers

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Late Night Nurse Play

My wife has been watching reruns of ER for the past week. It must have gotten into her head because last night she wanted to try out some doctor/nurse role playing. While it’s not something that we generally do all the time, adding some spice every now and then never hurt anyone.

I don’t mind playing the timid nurse or the dominant doctor, but last night, I could tell that she was in a submissive mood so I took the reigns.

“Your heart seems to be racing. Maybe you better lay down for awhile,”

“I’m sure I’ll be OK,” she answered, “Maybe if I could have one of your treatments?”

“Do you mean the special fingering treatment?” I grabbed a pair of black latex gloves out of my toy drawer and slipped one onto my hand. I let it go with a snap that made her smile instantly.

She was only wearing boxers and a tank top. I could see her nipples getting hard and I wondered if it was because the bedroom was cold or because she was turned on. I tweaked them to be certain that it was the latter.

“I’m going to check your temperature, ok?”

“Yes, doctor.”

I slipped my hand under the waistband of her shorts and felt her puffy pussy lips.

She squirmed a little bit before letting me settle over her clit.

“I think you might need to check a little bit deeper, doctor,” she begged me with her hip churning towards the ceiling.

“Deeper than this?” I slipped the tip of my finger into her fuck hole.

“Yes, deeper.”

I moved my finger in up to my second knuckle.

“How about now? Is that deep enough? I don’t feel anything concerning.”

She moved her own hand to her clit and started working it in circles while I slowly pumped my fingers inside her.

Her pussy is amazingly tight. That’s what she gets for being a gold star lesbian.

We work like a machine together, me pushing my digits inside her pussy, her flipping her fingertips over her clit until I can feel her orgasm forming like a wave.

“The treatment seems to be working, maybe I should stop before it overwhelms you,” I tease her by pulling my fingers out for just a second before returning them with a fury.

Her eyes bug out of her head, “Please don’t stop. I need this so badly,”

She cum all over my gloved hand. The white goo sticks to the latex and I bring my fingers up to my mouth to lick. Her body melts into the bed and she turns over, giving me just enough room to sneak behind her and put my hands on her hips.

Here’s a clip starring Puma Swede, Jessica Jaymes and Nicole Aniston in case you need a bit more visual stimulation.

Image: August Ames and Starri Knight in Lesbian Nurses by Brazzers

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Colorado Cannabis Club Hosts First Weed And Sex Party

I’m not much of a marijuana smoker but since it was recently legalized in my state I may have to change my stance. I don’t refrain for any moral or ethnical reasons, I’m honestly just not cool enough for anyone to have ever offered me any. Now that anyone can walk into a dispensary and buy some ganja I’m running out of excuses, though I still have some reservations.

The thing that confuses me about the whole thing is what you’re supposed to do afterwards.

I already enjoy all my hobbies and the prospect of doing them while high doesn’t seem that appealing. Even drinking is only something I enjoy doing socially, and if I had to choose between the two I’d rather have a few drinks with friends than get high and watch Sponge Bob SquarePants while looking for some deeper meaning. However, a cannabis club in Colorado have cracked the code by hosting marijuana sex parties.

Now that’s something I could really get behind… or under. Maybe on top of. I’ll just play it by ear.

Jaymen Johnson, owner of the Speakeasy Vape Lounge and Cannabis Club, hosted the first sex party at his business earlier this year. Apparently, the local swingers and Colorado’s rapidly growing marijuana enthusiasts have been getting along very well and have been requesting that Johnson host an event where they can meet up and smoke each other’s bongs. Given what we know about the sexual habits of marijuana users this makes a lot of sense.

Earlier we read a study that suggested regular marijuana users have more sex. The results were based on a survey of more than 50,000 people and it was determined that both men and women who used cannabis daily had sex more often than those who refrained from the jazz cabbage. Though the study didn’t pinpoint an exact reason why this is true, maybe the people who attended the sex party at a cannabis club know the secret.

While the use and sale of marijuana is legal in Colorado, sex clubs still have quite a few restrictions. Johnson claims his weed n’ sex party at the Speakeasy Vape Lounge is completely legal because his business is permitted as a private club. All he did is supply the venue and the refreshments. If his members showed up and started having sex with each other after getting high then that’s their business.

Via kdvr.com

Image: Kagney Linn Karter in Fucking Party of the Year by Brazzers

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Bunny Ranch To Accept Bitcoin As Payment For Sex

Anyone who has used the internet in the last fives years has probably heard of Bitcoins. I first read about the internet-based cryptocurrency five years ago when a friend suggested I purchase some at the rate of about 50 dollars apiece. Years later the value of the currency would multiply many times over and those same Bitcoins would have been worth $20,000 at one point in late 2017.

I really should have bought some. C’est la vie.

Despite Bitcoins and other digital assets being all the rage, the fact of the matter is there isn’t a whole lot you can do with them until you sell them for regular money. When the value of single BTC started fluctuating by hundreds of dollars in a single day, many stores stopped accepting the currency as payment. With millions of people sitting on piles of cash they can’t spend, one business saw an opportunity.

The owner of America’s most famous brothel announced they would be accepting the world’s most famous cryptocurrency. Starting sometime in 2018, The Bunny Ranch in Nevada will begin accepting Bitcoin as payment for their services. Cool!

From what I have gathered by reading about Bitcoin over the hour before I wrote this post, most of them are being held by sweaty dudes surrounded by specialized computers. These Bitcoin millionaires have been sitting on troves of the currency, slaving over hot mining hardware and waiting for years to celebrate this very moment. What better demographic to openly invite to your house full of prostitutes.

If you, like me, were too stupid to buy into Bitcoin early you can always hope to get a job being a professional prostitute tester. While this may not be as satisfying as pioneering one of our generations biggest new financial markets and hiring high end escorts with your profits, getting paid to have sex with gorgeous German prostitutes to maintain quality control might be a close second.

It’s worth nothing that this probably isn’t the first time someone has used BTC as payment to get laid.

Before it was the talking point of every news story and talk show, Bitcoins were heavily associated with illegal exhcanges on the dark web. With their heavy security and anonymous nature, transactions using cryptocurrencies are nearly impossible to trace back to their source making them perfect for doing illegal things, like buying sex in a country where prostitution is illegal.

However, now that you can use them to have sex in a totally legal way, those of you holding on to your BTC stockpiles can now relieve some stress associated with watching the value of your wallet fluctuate violently.

Via qz.com

Image: Bridgette B in A Jolly Easter Buttfucking by Brazzers

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Masturbation Roll

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Fap Along With Harlot: Cum on Eileen

My twitter friend HennyBottle sent out a tweet the other night that got me thinking. He said:

Note to self: save this "has there been a porno named Cum on Eileen yet?" tweet for a later date.

— bottle o henny!! (@hennybottle) January 21, 2018

And I was like…that’s a really good fucking point! Something should be done about this immediately.

I took to PornHub and quickly learned why such a movie does not seem to exist…

There really aren’t that many Pornstars that go by the name Eileen. Is it too old fashioned? Does it emit grandma vibes? I’m not sure, but I really feel like the industry is missing a niche.

Today I’ve pulled together 5 clips of Eileen’s cumming just for you Peepz. Some of them are a little bit out there, but they all involve naked ladies with spread legs getting it on.

You ready? Grab your favorite cum sock and let’s fap!

First up is an interestingly arousing clip that stars Eileen Sue, one of the two Eileens present in the PornHub database. Two ladies get covered in slime that is shot from a squirting dildo in a gloryhole. They end up slimed and sticky with jizzy cum lube all over their bodies and the surrounding area.

I have nightmares that are like this next vid. Stripped down to literally no clothing, Eileen walks through the streets of an old European city. She smiles and smirks at the reactions of the people surrounding her, fearlessly making her way through the crowds.

Eileen Wells is the other Eileen available for our perusal. She looks similar and she also seems to shoot mostly girl-on-girl videos. She gets interviewed by and strips for legendary performer Silvia Saint in this one.

Ms. Sue gets together with another lovely brunette in this video. The two ladies wake up from a nap and get right down to business pleasing each other with their mouths. They both scream out their orgasms, so make sure you have the volume turned up.

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I wish that every Fap Along could end in a lesbian orgy. Actually, I wish that every day would end in a lesbian orgy, but sometimes you have to have realistic goals. It’s definitely my kind of party when things start off with four naked ladies in a hot tub.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. Thanks again to Henny for providing the inspiration for this week’s Fap Along. If you have a Fap Along that you’d like to see, hit me up in the comments below or on twitter

See you next week!

Image: Screenshot from LESBEA HD FOUR TEEN GIRLS WORSHIP THEIR WET YOUNG BODIES IN A HOT TUB ORGY via PornHub

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Just What I Needed To Start The New Year: Hacked Sex Robot Paranoia

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Ok Fine. I’ll Talk About Stormy Daniels

Peepz…I’m having a fight with myself internally because I really, REALLY don’t want to talk about this, but I feel like I have to.

Stormy Daniels is in the headlines (again…I guess) because In Touch Weekly published an interview with the actress from 2011, in which she claims that she can “Describe his (Donald Trump’s) junk perfectly.”

That’s an impressive memory, I guess.

I don’t know that I’d be able to pick the last 5 dicks I touched out of a line up.

Claims have been made that Stormy was paid $130,000 to keep her mouth shut about the affair…and if that was the case, that doesn’t seem like nearly enough money to me.

In the interview, Stormy goes on to say that she and Mr. Trump had dinner in his hotel room, which lead to them having sex. This all happened about a year after he married his present wife, Melania.

Stormy: … When I came out, he was sitting on the bed and he was like, “Come here.” And I was like, “Ugh, here we go.” And we started kissing. I actually don’t even know why I did it, but I do remember while we were having sex, I was like, “Please don’t try to pay me.” And then I remember thinking, “But I bet if he did, it would be a lot.”

IT: This is what you were thinking during sex?

Stormy: Yeah, isn’t that horrible? But I remember thinking, “I hope he doesn’t think I’m a hooker.” Not that I have anything against hookers. I just personally have never done it. Still, I have no idea why I did it. Honestly, I really don’t.

That’s some self hating stuff right there, Stormy.

Sex workers are all on the same playing field, and we’re all struggling for our right to be understood and not looked down upon…and then you go and look down from your pseudo-retirement bubble like, “Not that there’s anything wrong with being a hooker, but I’m obviously better than a hooker cause hookers are gross”.

Fucking nuts.

I can’t stand that bullshit.

Stop. Being. Prudes. About. Sex. And. Sex. Work.

A strip club called The Trophy Club in Greenville, South Carolina saw an opportunity and seized hold, signing Stormy to strip within their walls for one night only, on the anniversary of Trump’s inauguration. People fucking flocked to see this chick. She’s calling this club tour, “Make America Horny Again,” obviously taking a nod at her alleged affair with the president.

Peepz, pull the wool off of your eyes. We’re so focused on who the President did or didn’t fuck that we aren’t paying attention to the other garbage that’s happening.

In any case…

Who. Cares.

Is it a surprise to anyone that he’s being accused (again) of cheating on his wife?

I mean, I can’t speak for everyone, but it certainly didn’t shock me. He’s a narcissistic mover and shaker who sees something he wants and grabs it (*cough* by the pussy *cough*).

Here’s a vintage Wicked clip of Stormy in action. May she fade gracefully back out of the limelight.

Peepz, lay it on me. Do you give a shit about Trump banging Stormy Daniels? Do you give a crap about politics at all? Hit me up in the comments or get in touch with me on twitter.

Source: NPR and In Touch Weekly

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Pornhub Insights Reveals Porn Traffic During Hawaii Alert

One of the perks of being American is constantly being told what you should be scared of. Thanks to the local news we are always on the lookout for killer bees, apples with razor blades in them, or whatever else is going to kill us next if we stop watching the before the commercial break is over. This is especially true when there’s a country that regularly threatens to bomb us over a political pissing contest.

That’s why on January 13 when everyone’s phone buzzed and told them a ballistic missile was headed towards Hawaii, they knew how to react: flip the fuck out because shit just got real.

While it was quickly announced that the warning was a false alarm, there was a solid 30-minute period where people in Hawaii were pretty sure World War III was about to start on their doorstep. For the most part no serious harm was done and the government employee who accidentally triggered the alarm said he was really, really sorry. However, one trustworthy source did notice one effect of the whole incident.

Pornhub Insights gathered the data and crunched the numbers to create yet another interesting informative graph. This time their sexy statistics showed us how the threat of being vaporized effected the rate at which Hawaiians watched porn.

During the hours before the warning went out at 8:07am, it was pretty much business as usual on Pornhub. During the half hour afterwards though, traffic dropped by as much as 77%. Though this is localized to one rather small set of islands that is still a pretty significant decrease in masturbation for a Saturday morning.

I went to Elementary school in a coastal military town during the Cold War. Though bomb drills weren’t at all common, we were aware of sirens throughout the city and it was something my teachers occasionally talked about. The consensus was that should a nuclear warhead be launched at us all we could really do was find shelter, put our head between our knees, and kiss our asses goodbye.

After the government issued an official statement that the alert was a false alarm at 8:45, people celebrated by running to Pornhub. In that time traffic spiked to a high of nearly 48% above normal because nothing feels better than pounding off after learning the molecules that makeup your body will be intact for the foreseeable future.

For a more in depth look at how this and other major news events effect the way people consume internet pornography, head over to Pornhub Insights and read more.

Via pornhub.com/insights

Image: Trina Michaels in Nuclear Tits by Brazzers

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Hayley Kiyoko’s “Curious” Has Me Craving

Over the years, I’ve wound up at parties with more than one lover in the room. It’s awkward, but it can also be super fun. Who can I sneak off with? Can I get laid by both in the same space? I always took it as more of a challenge than a detrimental situation.

Hayley Kiyoko used to be a Nickelodeon star and she’s grown up into one of the first out LGBT pop stars of her generation. Her music is catchy and she usually directs her own music videos. This is the case for her new song, Curious.

Hayley’s ex (or soon to be ex? It’s fuzzy), a leggy blonde, shows up to a house party with her new boyfriend. She checks her phone when her boyfriend gets out of the car as she’s made some lame lie of an excuse up for why she can’t go over Hayley’s place for a cuddle sesh. She says she’s sick, when really she can’t hang out with Hayley because she’s with her boyfriend who seems to know nothing about her relationship with Hayley.

Hella lame, ladies. No need for lies and stuff. Open honesty always, that’s my motto.

Hayley sees the liar blonde from across the room and then the blonde has the balls to come over to her to say hello.

She’s having none of that nonsense and makes a b-line to another room to find some new hottie to flirt it up with.

The blonde gets jealous and pulls Hayley into the bathroom.

A hot and heavy petting session commences, but Hayley puts on the breaks as soon as the blonde is panting.

You’ll end up with your dick in your hand if you get caught in a lie, Peepz. That’s why even players should lay their cards out on the table.

Here’s the video for your immediate arousal.

I’m loving the interspersed clips of Hayley being felt up on the floor and the fact that the blonde ends up feeling some kind of way when she’s all alone in the bathroom.

Yes.

Score one for the truth tellers.

Source: Hayley Kiyoko’s twitter.

Image: Hayley Kiyoko’s instagram

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Pornhub Insights On The Popularity Of Stormy Daniels

Stormy Daniels is a legendary porn star. She’s one of those people everyone has seen before but probably didn’t know by name until earlier this year. While she’s just as beautiful and talented as any other top performer, she ended her career well before social media allowed adult actresses to become internet celebrities. That would soon change.

When it came to light that the president of the United States once paid her money to coverup an affair, the world once again took notice of the absolutely stunning AVN Hall of Famer.

It’s no secret that President Trump enjoys the company of beautiful women. He’s been married to three of them and during his brief life as a bachelor he regularly bragged about his love life. However, it was after marrying the current First Lady of the United States, Melania Trump, that that he allegedly had an affair with Stormy Daniels.

We don’t know if these allegations are true or not, and honestly, we don’t really care. What is important however is the sudden resurgence in popularity of one of the greatest adult performers of all time. At the behest of one mainstream news outlet, Pornhub Insights has crunched some numbers and compiled information that shows just how popular Stormy Daniels searches became after the story broke.

In the week after it was revealed President Trump once paid Stormy Daniels hush money, worldwide searches for the her on Pornhub increased by up to 375% in just a few days. Considering Daniels’ videos are already a popular masturbation destination, this is a pretty impressive increase in popularity. Meanwhile in the United States we noticed something a bit more interesting.

Though Daniels experienced a nationwide 272% increase, in our nation’s capital she saw quite a bigger boost. Searches for Stormy peaked by 332% in Washington DC in the days after the news dropped. Maybe everyone in the government was curious about the political ramifications of this and decided to do some extra sexy research on the subject.

For a more in depth look at how this and other political events affect the way people watch internet pornography, head over to Pornhub Insights to read more.

Via pornhub.com/insights

Image: Stormy Daniels in Stormy in Island Fever 2 by Digital Playground

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Fetish On The Runway

Little known Harlot fact:

Back when I was in grammar school, I wanted more than anything to be a fashion designer. I was always mixing and matching my clothes to the point where my mom was embarrassed to go shopping with me.

It’s whatever though. I ended up giving up my dream when I realized that the type of fashion that I was interested in making was not exactly the type of clothing you’d wear out on the streets.

I didn’t even know what fetish clothing was, but I was drawing up sketches of corsets and wide fence net stockings covering up legs.

When I was surfing around snapchat and I saw that Moschino’s Fall 2018 Men’s Wear Collection featured plenty of latex and kink, I had to share it with you Peepz.

You can watch the whole runway walk from beginning to end in this clip:

But if you’re looking for some snippets and highlights, here are some stills.

I honestly love the way that the designer, Jeremy Scott, uses the latex and the leather as a backdrop for his designs. It’s like he’s using them as a neutral canvas to display his work. The jackets and pullovers are mostly all articles that I’d love to have in my closet, and I’m pretty sure I already own a pair or two of the boots his models are rocking.

Normalizing kink and fetish is a hot topic for some in the community, but I don’t see the harm in acceptance. Sure oversaturation (think post Shades of Grey) can be annoying, but eventually it all settles out and we’re left with new additions to the community that are willing to learn and add to all of our experiences.

Source and Images: Vogue

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Video Game App Surprises Mobile Users With Porn Malware

At some point internet pornography got a really bad reputation for spreading malware. While it’s true porn dialers and other viruses disguised as fuck flicks were rampant two decades ago, nowadays things are a lot cleaner. Thanks to Pornhub, finding erotic content on the internet is easier and safer than ever.

However not every porn website is as honest and pure as those in the Pornhub Network.

Apparently one company is so desperate for advertising they resorted to distributing their adult malware through mobile apps associated with products commonly consumed by children. A developer managed to get a handful these nefarious packages published that appeared as addons for Minecraft, the popular video game where kids build castles and then never stop talking about them.

Somehow the infected apps made it through Google’s screening processes and were readily available on the company’s store. They were downloaded hundreds of thousands of times by people expecting videogame addons and instead got a crippling dose of porn on their devices. Cool!

Oh wait, I mean how horrible…

Since the first commercially available porn was uploaded to the internet, people have been trying to make sure only adults (with money) have access to it. As every generation is more tech savvy than the last this is becoming extremely difficult. When some parents are unable to control what their kids are looking at on the internet they often end up accessing porn which they then use to learn about sex.

We once read about a documentary that suggested a combination of the internet and conservative views about sex education have resulted in a generation that learned about the birds and the bees from hardcore porn. The film suggested that because the depiction of sex in porn is nowhere near that of real intercourse, these youths go on to have a really twisted view of intimacy and the opposite sex.

It’s actually pretty tragic. If only there were a system for public schools to teach kids about sex before their hormones kick into overdrive and they figure it out from a 20-year-old Tera Patrick video.

At any rate Google removed the nefarious apps from their marketplace and banned the developer who submitted them but not before they received a handful of 5-star reviews. This may indicate there is an untapped market for adults who enjoy porn and Minecraft. Maybe somebody needs to stack a bunch of extra sexy cubes together, provide the proper adult rating, and see how deep this rabbit hole goes.

Via bbc.com

Image: Jenna Ashley in Horny Schoolgirl Selfies by Brazzers

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Woman Lures Man Into Trap Using Her Boobs

It’s kind of an old stereotype that heterosexual men can’t resist a nice pair of breasts. From my personal experience it seems to check out.

Even a really sad looking set of deflated boobs are interesting enough to draw me into a sultry premium cable drama and a pair of really nice ones can even defy language barriers. Despite speaking very limited Spanish I’ve watched entire episodes of Sabado Gigante just because the hosts are extremely stacked.

However, there are women out there who would use this power to nefarious ends and its something everyone needs to watch out for.

According to arrest reports, a woman from New Orleans called an Uber driver and asked him to come into her home. She then answered the door with her breasts exposed and kissed the man as a distraction so her boyfriend could drag him inside and rob him at knife point. Yikes!

This story went from the start of a Pornhub video I once saw to an episode of Law and Order in just a few seconds.

The woman, identified as 22-year-old Rayna Fillios, did her part successfully. The victim was indeed distracted by her sensual deception and entered the house willingly. It was at this time her boyfriend, 24-year-old Anthony Kennedy pulled a knife on the Uber driver and demanded money. Then things got sloppy.

The victim refused to hand his money over and was punched in the face. When the bloodied driver started to call police the boyfriend then fled the scene while his girlfriend cooked up a story to cover the whole thing. Fortunately for the victim the police believed him over the woman who answers the door with her boobs out.

A police dog quickly found the boyfriend hiding in a nearby shed and he was arrested and charged with armed robbery, battery, and resisting arrest. As for Rayna, well, maybe she’ll fall in love?

We once read a story about a woman who robbed a man for his phone only for the victim to fall in love with her as her photos flooded his cloud account. He did his best to track her down and despite the crime she had committed he was too smitten with her beauty to silence his roaring heart.

Considering Fillios was charged with much lesser crimes it’s possible she could have enough time away from her boyfriend to start a relationship with the victim as it sounds like they have some real chemistry. Now that’s something I would watch on Pornhub.

Via dailymail.co.uk

Image: Amy Anderssen in Itchin’ for a Petition by Brazzers

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Masturbation Roll

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Fap Along With Harlot: Fun Hair, Don’t Care

Saturday morning I finally got my haircut. I honestly hate going to the salon because I feel like it’s such a waste of my time. Making polite conversation about the weather and what’s going on in my life has never been my bag.

The one time that I mentioned to my stylist that I had spent the previous night with a stranger I’d met on the Internet led to me getting the worst haircut of my life…so I learned to leave well enough alone and just stick to non perverse conversations.

Anyway, my haircut this time around turned out fine. Shaved on one side blended into the back and then longer on the right. I think I want a change though. Some crazy colors or something. Since I have to go to the salon every month and a half anyway, what’s the harm in spending a few more hours there to get some color done, right?

I turned to trusty PornHub to pull up some videos that have female talent rocking do’s that are not just your average blonde or brunette to help me figure out if I want to go down that road. I figured I’d pull together a list so that we can all have some fun while I’m deciding.

You Peepz ready to go? Let’s Fap!

In this Girls Out West clip, a teal haired hottie hooks up with a ginger babe. They eat candy off of each other before things get hot and heavy with some finger fucking. The squirting gets intense and so does the dirty talking.

A pretty rebel with pink hair strolls around London looking for somewhere to pee publically. She exposes her pussy to the passers by and makes a few friends along the way.

Sydnee Vicious is known for switching up her hair color. Her heavily tattooed body is tight and in this Burning Angle clip, she’s looking to have her ink covered with cum.

The Ebony hottie in this next clip is working on her handjob skills. Her long hair is multicolored and her fist works on her stunt cock furiously till he cums all over.

Alexxa Vice gets picked up by a taxi and dicked down in the back seat. He stretches her butthole and she returns the favor with a stiff rimming of her own.

That’s it for this week, Peepz. I’m still not sure about my hair, but I certainly enjoyed all this research.

Image: Alyssa Reece and in Nailing the Nosy Neighbor by Brazzers

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Call It, Perhaps, A ‘Bobblehead Dolldo’

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Ikea Puts Golden Showers to Use

Two summer’s ago, my wife and I were sitting in her bff’s backyard waiting for a BBQ to start. The grill was warming up, we were sipping on cold cocktails and the summer sun was beating down on our tan skin. Of course something was going to happen to ruin the moment…because that’s how life works.

Our friend came into the backyard and said, “Catch!” tossing something in my general direction.

I caught the thing.

It was a positive pregnancy test.

“What the fuck is that?” my gold star lesbian wife asked.

“It’s a fucking pregnancy test. She’s knocked up,” I answered.

“You pissed on that thing and then you threw it at my girl?” my babe yelled at our friend.

She didn’t seem to think that there was anything gross about the fact that she had pissed on a piece of plastic, kept it…and then brought it to a BBQ.

As an aside, the chick also didn’t bring any food with her to share. She showed up to this shindig empty handed with a pee stick.

Now, piss doesn’t really bug me out. I’ve urinated on people, I’ve been urinated on. I’ve shot a whole bunch of videos documenting the process. It doesn’t turn me on…it’s not my kink…but I don’t care if I’m involved in a scene where that type of activity is happening.

Furniture giant Ikea seems to be on team, “We don’t give a fuck about pee,” and has launched a new ad campaign that gives extra discounts on cribs and baby furniture to families who can prove that they are pregnant.

How do they prove that they are pregnant, you ask?

By peeing on one of their ads. If you’re pregnant, it will reveal a special price. Here’s a clip of the commercial.

Now, that’s all well and good. It’s a unique ad that will generate a buzz (hell, I’m writing about it, aren’t I?). My question is though…what do the cashiers do with the pissed on papers when the customer’s come into the stores to redeem them? Do they just get stuffed under the cash drawer with the rest of the money?

This confuses and intrigues me.

The ad can be found in the Swedish magazine Amelia this month. If anyone from that country wants to send me a copy, I’m down to peruse the pages.

What do you Peepz think about this ad campaign? Is it an innovative way to save some cash or are you totally turned off by the idea?

Let me know in the comments below or hit me up on twitter.

Source:

Image: Jessica Jaymes in Slutty Dr. Jaymes by Brazzers

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Please Don’t Fuck The Pizza?

One of my favorite things about reading so many erotic news stories is discovering a new fetish that I didn’t know existed. Just when I thought I’ve seen it all I’ll stumble across a way of having sex that I couldn’t even have imagined before.

Today it’s Sitophilia, a fetish wherein participants are aroused by erotic situations involving food. Cool!

I’ve seen foodies use very sexual language to describe food but never have I heard of anyone getting down and actually fucking an antipasto platter. Thanks to a prank aboard a Norwegian Cruise Line ship I am now aware that there is a much messier way to consider someone who says they “love food.”

Guests aboard the party cruise Holy Ship! were shocked to see a letter posted throughout the vessel discouraging passengers from having sex with the pizza. The gag letter was so polite and well-written that some buffet patrons were unaware it was a joke and quickly snapped pictures of the hilarious warning against fornicating with the food.

I’ve never been on a cruise but from the sound of it there’s probably a lot of sex going on. The closed quarters, motion of the ocean, and party atmosphere probably makes for a lot of sea-boners. This is probably why prankers thought it would be poignant to make a notice warning guests to keep their throbbing genitals away from the pizza.

The letter read:

Open Pizza Bar For
Consumption Only

Dear Guests,

Thank you for sailing with us for another year of Holy Ship! Where we offer dozens of fine foods available 24/7 in the Garden Café, we must remind you that the foods available in the care are for consumption only. Due to incidents on previous sailings in which patrons engaged in uncouth behavior in the care, we feel it is our duty to remind our guests that pizza is for eating, not fornicating. Sexual acts with hour handcrafted pizzas can bring unintended health consequences and can pose a safety hazard for other passengers aboard our journey.

Lewd and/or sexual acts with our cuisines are not only frowned upon but are prohibited by maritime law. Norwegian encourages responsible food consumption and reserved the right to revoke eating privileges of any guests who violates Norwegian’s Guest Cod of Conduct or is deemed a danger to themselves or others.

If you suffer from Sitophilia, or the sexual desire to fornicate with foods such as pour pizzas, please inquire with one of our specialists in the medical bay below deck.

Cheers!
Norwegian Cruise Line

After having a hearty laugh along with the passengers, crew members took the signs down and released an official statement that the notices were indeed a prank. If we’re being honest though it sounds like great marketing. How many places can brag about their food being so good you’ll want to fuck it.

Via metro.co.uk

Image: Eva Notty in ZZ Pizza Party: Part 1 by Brazzers

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Amateur Porn Star Orders Hit On Her Husband

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Ciara is Beautiful…Naturally

My jaw dropped the other day, Peepz. I was scrolling through my twitter feed and a few pictures that Ciara posted popped up. It’s totally my bad but keep forgetting how fucking gorgeous she is.

Back in the early Aughts, Ciara was known as the sexy singer from Atlanta (by way of Texas) with the Goodies that everyone wanted. Her songs were always catchy, but it was her videos that made everyone pay attention. Her body moves like silk and her dance moves are the illest around.

I’m of the opinion that there is no other female entertainer out there right now that dances better than Ciara does.

You can fight me on that.

As she’s evolved as an artist, her sex appeal has intensified. We’ve written about a few of her videos before, here on Peeperz…which means they are of above average on the hotness scale. Here’s one of the clips to prove my point.

Her husband, Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson, is credited as the photographer of the images that caught my eye. From the intimate look of the snaps, you can totally tell how much Ciara trusts the man behind the lens. The lighting is natural and she’s wearing zero makeup while wearing only an oversized white shirt.

I’m all about them. Have a look at the gallery:

It’s kind of cool to get a glimpse behind the curtain into Ciara’s bedroom. The images are raw and her eyes seem to look straight at the camera into your soul. She’s no stranger to being sexy, but these pics are really something else entirely.

Source and Image: Ciara’s Twitter

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My 500th Peeperz Post!

Round numbers make me exceedingly happy. There’s a sense of accomplishment that comes along with performing a task often enough to get into the hundreds. Five hundred though? That’s a big fucking deal, IMO.

THIS…Right here…Right now…is my 500th post on Peeperz according to the behind the scenes counters. I didn’t actually count, I just noticed last week while I was prepping my shit that I only had a few more to go before I hit that crazy large, and satisfying, number.

I’m pretty fucking excited about that.

It’s been a really long time since my very first post on the site. A whole lot of things have changed in my life, and I’ve basically chronicled the entire perverse evolution on this site.

Most people that write to me want to hear stories from my past, back when I was trolling around on Craig’s List every weekend looking to make fantasies happen for strangers. When I used to masturbate at the airport all the time while I was flying back and forth for that long distance dick.

P.S. Know what I learned? Long distance dick is never worth putting your life on hold. I’m not bitter, I’m just saying.

I’ve talked about handjobs, and that time when I came out to my dad as a bisexual pervert a few months before my wife made me honest and we decided to give monogamy a try.

Peeperz has inspired me so much. There was one time that Lola wrote an article and used a picture of some lady with three bananas in her pussy. I wondered if it was even possible to get the job done. I pulled out my camera and my tripod, and went to work in order to find out…for science, of course.

3 Banana Challenge powered by XTube

I’m so thankful to have an outlet like Peeperz. I know that my perverse mind isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but you Peepz have been awesome enough to be reading along this whole time. You’re the best, and I treasure every one of your cumshots.

Well…maybe not every cumshot.

Don’t aim for my eye, OK? I fucking hate that shit.

If you’re interested in creeping down the perverse rabbit hole that is my backlog of posts, feel free to give a click here.

Let’s get another 500 in the books.

Image: Author’s own stash

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Masturbation Roll

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Fap Along With Harlot: Mirror Tricks

I’m currently obsessed with the show Black Mirror. It’s like The Twilight Zone only every episode has to do with creepy technology type scenarios. We blew through the first three seasons of it over winter break and now we’re making our way through the fourth and newest season.

I can’t help but research shows that I’m into. I want to know fan theories and behind the scenes bullshit. But because I’m in the habit of doing this, I accidentally typed, “Black Mirror” into the search engine on PornHub.

My mistake got me thinking about mirror porn in general and all the aspects of it. I’ve pulled together a list for us to fap along to. To get yourself in the mood, I’d suggest grabbing a hand mirror and positioning it in front of your bits so that you can have as much fun as the people in the videos are having.

Ready? Let’s Fap!

Two way mirrors make up the back of the box truck in this first clip. Passers by have no idea, but inside there’s a couple fucking each other. This is the exhibitionist’s ultimate right here, Peepz. You get to fuck in public and no one is ever the wiser.

Candy Charms is a bombshell of a sexpot. Her boobs are bigger than most and she loves showing them off to the camera. She teases us by titty fucking herself in front of floor to ceiling mirrors that give us all the best angles.

Lelu Love is one of my favorite PornHub amateurs. She’s so creative with the way that she fucks and her dirty talking skills are way above par. In this clip, she gets out of the shower ready to bone and handles business orally with her man in front of the bathroom mirror.

When this sensual blonde wants to masturbate, all she needs to do is look at her reflection to get in the mood. She begs herself for pleasure and then pulls out a little pink vibrator. Her boobs bounce while she’s penetrating her tight hole.

Pantyhose cover up the pussies in the two hotties in this last clip, but they rip them wide open to make way for toys. They have a mirror set up in front of them so they can watch each other’s faces while they edge towards climax.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. If you ended up cumming all over your mirror, I’d love to see the shot. Hit me up on twitter or talk to me in the comments below.

See you next time!

Image: Synthia Fixx in The MILF in the Mirror by Brazzers

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