Porn Declared “Public Heath Crisis” In Utah By No-Fun Nerds

Porn and Utah are like oil and water- the just don’t mix.

Over the years we’ve read a handful of stories about lawmakers in Utah doing whatever they can to ban pornography. It’s hard to be mad at these people as they genuinely believe their actions are helping people. They perceive porn to be an incredible threat to humanity, however when you try to get them to pin down an exact answer as to why the details can get fuzzy.

When push comes to shove, these government officials shy away from the honest answer which is that porn goes against their religious beliefs. Mormons are some of the world’s kindest people that would literally give you the shirt off their back if they thought it would help you. Unfortunately they also tend to hold others to their personal moral standards regardless of their beliefs. It’s actually pretty adorable.

Since the government can’t officially enact laws based on religious beliefs, they find ways to work around it. This time the Utah House of Representatives is attempting to ban porn by first declaring it an official “public health crisis.” Hmm!

The recommendation to pass the resolution came from leaders of the Utah Coalition Against Pornography who called porn an “infections, fatal epidemic” that should be treated with the same caution as avian flu, cholera, diphtheria, or polio. I didn’t realize it was that serious!

As an avid fan of numerous apocalypse based movies and television shows I have often wondered how humanity would one day find itself on the brink of extinction. While zombies and nuclear war seemed like the most likely scenarios, masturbating to fuck flicks on Pornhub may turn out to be the real killer.

Anti-porn activists claim porn addiction ruins lives, destroys families, and causes porn servers to become sentient, man-hunting murder machines.

The latest UCAP conference was attended by a staggering 3,000 people and has grown tremendously over their 15-year history. Again, these are predominately religious people who think porn addiction is a serious problem and believe they are fighting to save lives by outlawing porn.

That being said, if they want my porn they can pry it from my cold, dead, well-moisturized hands.

Image: Nikki Benz in ZZ Courthouse: Part Two by Brazzers

Via ksl.com

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