Confession time, Peepz. In my life, I’ve cheated in a bunch of my relationships. Sometimes it was hard to take my own advice and be as open and honest as possible with the people I was in relationships with. All this talk about Beyonce and Jay Z has got me doing some serious soul searching and reflecting back on my past.
My last ex, that guy who lied about having protected sex with the other woman he was with? He had an issue with one of the guys that I had met because our connection was too intense. Honestly, he was also super threatened when I started dating my wife. In my brain, I wasn’t doing anything wrong, because he knew I was seeing other people…but I thought that I had to change the identity of the other people that I was enjoying my time with to spare his feelings.
What I should have done was told him to stop projecting his lies onto me, but I didn’t.
That really seems to be the general theme of me cheating on my partners. We’ll be poly, I’ll make a connection with someone else, and as soon as it goes over the, “this is just sex,” hump, my partner ends up being less cool with the fact that we’re dating other people.
Polyamorous relationships are hella difficult to navigate sometimes.
Actually, all relationships are.
When my bad ex from Texas cheated on me, it hurt right in my gut. He had moved all the way across the country to be with me and then 10 days into our cohabitation experiment, he decides he wants to bang a friend of a friend. Cause, you know…girls don’t talk or anything. I felt obligated to stay with him because he had made a serious commitment to our relationship by moving, but reflecting back?
I should have to him to go fuck himself and dropped him off at the airport.
I still google them both though…because I’m a sucker for a story with a tragic ending.
After I found out that both guys had cheated on me, I was legit grossed out by them. Seeing their faces, even if they were crying and begging, made me feel completely ill. It really didn’t matter how attractive I believed they were before I discovered they lied about cheating, I was turned the fuck off by their presence.
I needed a whole lot of time to figure out what was happening. Did I want to continue dating someone who would lie to me about fucking someone else? Wasn’t I doing the same thing?
In the case of my bad ex from Texas, I stuck it out and it evolved into a terribly toxic situation.
By the time that I was lied to by the other one, I had realized that there were much more healthy relationships for me out there.
I think that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and all that entails. Cheating and avoiding the truth can end up eating away at your relationship from the inside out…and that’s not good for anyone involved. I’ve definitely learned so much from each relationship I was in, no matter how shitty it was.
Talk to me, Peepz. Are you currently cheating on your partner? How do you feel about cheating? Is it a relationship ender or can you work things out and come out healthier on the other side?
Let me know in the comments or hit me up on twitter
Source: The Guardian
Image: Daphne Rosen in Cheating Husband by Brazzers
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