Sometimes I look back on how many different lives I’ve lived in the past 20 years and it amazes me. From BDSM slave to promiscuous slut…from being an accountant with an amateur porno mini empire to being a powerful business woman with very few fantasies left to conquer. I’ve lived a lot and while the ride has been fun, it hasn’t always been easy.
I deal with depression and anxiety all of the time. It’s hard for me to get out of bed some days, but I do it because I need to pay my bills and that’s how adult life goes. There were points in my past where I worked my mental state up so bad that I got physically ill. It hasn’t happened to me in a long time, but it happened to me today.
Huffington Post ran a story about 8 ways that sex is different for people with anxiety and I wanted to share it with you Peepz. I know there are tons of us out there that are going through the motions of life as per usual with anxiety hanging out in our brains. Sometimes awareness is the best way to combat it. Here’s the list:
- I’m stuck in my head rather than being stuck in the moment
- I have a tough time connecting with my partner
- I’m hypercritical about how it’s going
- I find it difficult to get turned on in the first place
- I sometimes have a couple of drinks to quiet my mind
- I fixate on how I look
- I ruminate about how sex could affect things with my partner going forward
- I get overwhelmed when sex is another thing on my schedule
Right now, my issues are two and eight.
My wife has started dating a new woman, my job is very stressful and I’m not in a comfortable place mentally because of my new fancy job and a whole bunch of other unsexy real life things that have happened to me in the last two years. My thoughts are that she should be helping me get mentally better instead of going out and having threesomes without me. She thinks that I’m holding her back from exploring kink.
I’m jealous because I want her to explore kink with me…but the new woman in her life has taken the reigns and they’re running with it. It’s not her fault, or my wife’s fault, they’re enjoying each other’s company and that is what life is about. I covet their fun because at this point in my career, I have had to take a step back from kink in order to climb the corporate ladder.
I feel like a sell out and a fraud because I’m going through so many emotions at the same time.
We’ve both communicated our feelings and I don’t know that I feel any better about the situation. There is very little time in my life right now for kink or other fun sexual activities. The deal is that I can either make time, or not. It’s all on me and the choices that I make. I can’t fault her for enjoying the shiny new toy that she found, even if it’s driving my anxiety through the roof.
Polyamorous relationships are tricky a lot of the time. We’ll get through this rough patch and be stronger for it. I’ll tell you though, sometimes it’s harder than it seems to have the type of life that people fantasize about. My depression and anxiety are my issues and I have to look inward to resolve them.
Source: Huffington Post
Image: Capri Cavalli in I Saw the Devil and I Fucked Her by Brazzers
from Peeperz https://ift.tt/38oXwSS
via IFTTT
No comments:
Post a Comment