Listen, any excuse to masturbate is good enough for me. I have no issues with a little bit of self love, especially in times of crisis. New York City’s recently released memo regarding sex and the Corona virus seems to agree.
In a city filled with strangers who are ready to hook up, best practice is to stick to your own guns and do the do solo style for awhile.
In the article linked below, they quote officials as saying:
“The next safest partner is someone you live with,” officials offered. “Having close contact– including sex — with a small circle of people helps prevent spreading COVID-19. Anyone outside your household? Avoid.
And no “group sex” either, the agency said.
I mean, yes orgies with strangers are off the table…and yes, if you live alone
Here’s the full document in a tweet:
“You are your safest sex partner” — obsessed with NYC’s guide to sex during corona pic.twitter.com/xuKRzD0Jhw
— Chrissy Rutherford (@chrissyford) March 21, 2020
Let’s ramp up the cyber sex, Peepz. Let’s pretend like it’s the early 90s and the Internet is a new and powerful machine filled with possibility. I want us all to masturbate together like we used to, heavy and with abandon. My “To-Fap-To Folder,” is overflowing with links to content that I want to work my way though while all of this craziness is happening.
Luckily, I write for a company who is doing work to get supplies in the hands of people who need them.
Pornhub has donated 50,000 masks to people who are helping with the Corona Virus. They have also made Pornhub Premium free worldwide for the next 30 days so that everyone can stay safe. Why go out if you can stay home and get off by yourself.
You want Fap Along lists to help you in your endeavors? I’ve got tons in stock for you. Let me know your kinks and I’ll pull out all the stops gathering curated lists for your masturbation habit.
Be safe out there, Peepz. If you’re feeling lonely and in need of some personal attention, feel free to slide into my DMs where all the dirty work gets done.
Image: Dani Daniels in Are You Still Awake by Brazzers
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