Sunday, May 8, 2016

Sex News: KFC Sex Fluid, Sex Amusement Park, & The Handmaiden

A woman last week contacted Florida cops to report that she believed a pair of chicken sandwiches purchased at KFC “contained semen,”according to a police report.

KFCSay it with me: “Ewwwwwwwwww!” I really hope I’ve never eaten takeout with someone’s jizz in it.

Developers have slated plans for a site in a town two hours from Sao Paolo, says the Daily Mail. Get ready for the list of attractions: “vibrating seats, bumper cars shaped like genitalia, a nudist pool and a ‘train of pleasure’ staffed by gogo girls and boys.” Instead of burgers and fries, they’ll have an “aphrodisiac cafe.” There will reportedly be a naked water slide, which I hope to god is made from 99% chlorine and 1% water. Developers are aiming for completion (hehe) by 2018.

“This won’t be a place for nuns, but it’s not like we’re trying to recreate Sodom and Gomorrah. If attendees want to take things to another level, they can go to a nearby motel — which we will operate,” developer Mauro Morata told the Daily Express.

Amusement-Park

I really hope the nearby hotel has sex themed rooms.

Mademoiselle by Park Chan-wook comes out on October 5. It’s being called The Handmaiden in domestic press, and it’s based on the book The Fingersmith by Sarah Waters. There’s a great interview about the film with Chan-wook here in Variety. It’s premiering at Cannes, and it really makes me wish I can someday go to Cannes. According to TwitchFilm, Amazon Studios has bought distribution rights. I hope it gets a release in theaters!

The-Handmaiden

Soooo excited. I love Chan-wook Park. He directed three of my favorite movies: Stoker, Lady Vengeance, and Oldboy. I’m expecting good things from his latest oeuvre. (Also, it looks kinda sexy.)

Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd

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