Calico’s Top Ten Sex-Related Stories of 2018

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Masturbation Roll

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Fap Along With Harlot: They Had Me At the Thumbnail

You know when you’re surfing around on PornHub and you see a clip pop up that isn’t really your cup of tea, but you HAVE to click anyway because the thumbnail is so hot/interesting? That’s a phenomenon that has happened to me several times the past few weeks. I’ve been half hoarding the clips until I had a good batch of them to share with my favorite Peepz.

Now is obviously the time…are you ready to get off with me in all sorts of random directions? Drop your pants to the floor because it’s time for you and I to get down and dirty. Let’s Fap!

Jessie Rogers has a fantastic ass and a perky set of nipples that seem super sensitive. Her smile is killer, especially when she’s on her knees with a thick dick pointed straight down her throat.

Team Skeet videos tend to be a bit…acrobatic…sometimes. The male performers are usually super strong and able to lift the ladies up in the air and twirl them around to service any hole they wish. While it was 100% the thumbnail that made me click. I desperately need an opaque bodysuit that says “Unfollow” straight across my tits, just like Lena Paul wears. It’s sexy as fuck, for real.

I’m not going to lie to you, Peepz. It was kind of bugging me out that Kyle Mason was destroying her breakfast when she was trying to cook eggs without a flame…but then I remember that this is porno and in porno, not everything has to make sense.

Between the thumbnail and the title, you know I was clicking on this vid. It’s that fake taboo stuff that makes me slightly curious, but the blue balls that will seal the deal for my mouse clicking finger.

As soon as you toss a Hitachi into the the mix, I’m giving your clip a view. Vibrators and huge cocks are two of my favorite things. This Owen Grey/Ana Foxxx video is everything I want in a porno when I’m rubbing my clit for my own personal satisfaction.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. Do you ever click on clips strictly for the thumbnail? Let me know about all the porno adventures you’ve been up to in the comments below, or hit me up on twitter

Image: Madison Ivy in Tied Up and Spanked at the Bank by Brazzers

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Pornhub Insights On The Grinch And Other Christmas Porn

Christmas is widely regarded as the most difficult holiday to masturbate to… or during. The emphasis on family and temporary priority on good will towards others makes for less than ideal conditions to slither away to your favorite internet fuck flicks. This is only exacerbated by the lack of erotic imagery associated with Christmas and its traditional participants.

Though Santa Claus might be the bearded, older bear-daddy of some people’s erotic fantasy, it’s kind of a niche genre when it comes to widespread appeal. Now, the most recent imagining of The Grinch- there’s a Christmas figure you can really deck your own halls to.

I’ve lost track of how many times Hollywood has remade The Grinch that Stole Christmas, but when The Grinch came out in November of 2018 it was noteworthy for one specific reason- people were oddly attracted to the titular character this time. Nothing against Jim Carry’s portrayal, but the newest Grinch has a kind of sexy, green, skinny, Wookie thing going on that really captured the imagination of people who wanted to get into the Christmas spirit though masturbation.

Santa’s little helpers at Pornhub Insights were quick to take notice of this unexplainable internet lust for the Christmas-hating character and crafted some artisan graphs to help us appreciate his sudden growth in appeal.

Prior to the November 19 premiere of The Grinch, not too many people were interested in masturbating to the fuzzy green sex machine. Afterwards, however, people were lining up to offer him their genital secretions as searches increased by more than 3300% after the premiere and again after the following weekend. In contrast, searches for porn featuring more traditional Santa porn gew slowly but steadily in the days after Thanksgiving.

When it comes to individual terms, Team Grinch searched for videos featuring “Grinch Porn,” “The Grinch XXX Parody” and “El Grinch” amongst others. Meanwhile Team Santa kept it classy with searches that included “Santa Fucks Elf,” “Bad Santa,” and “Black Santa.” To be honest all these sound like they would lead to a pretty good time if you’re really into Christmas and got a new Fleshlight in your stocking.

For a more in depth look at how the Grinch and other classic characters effected the way people watched porn during the holidays, head over to Pornhub Insights to read more.

Via pornhub.com/insights

Image: Jasmine Jae in How Danny D Stole XXXMas by Brazzers

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Dentist Drills on Sex Island

Remember a few months ago when I was talking about the sex and drug fest that was Sex Island? You should click here to read up, but if you’re looking for a tl:dr solution, here’s a slight recap.

You pay a bunch of money (£4,600 or just over $5800 US or just over $7800 CD and that’s about all I’m converting for you) …you get picked up by a yacht…you party in Venezuela for four days with all the hookers and drugs you can handle…you return to life as per usual with one hell of an experience hangover and a story to sell to tabloids.

I stand by my former decision that, while this sounds like a hell of a party, I’m not sure that I could mentally handle four days of nothing but sex. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good banger of a weekend, but 24/7 orgies are a whole lot to handle. Two in the span of a week was all I could manage to participate in back in my hayday of harloting.

A dentist from New York named “Ryan” decided to dip his dick into the Sex Island adventure and came back to give all the details to The Mirror, which is obviously one of the most reputable journalism sources around.

Obviously.

“Ryan” traveled to the capital of Trinidad and Tobago, Port-of-Spain, in order to hitch a ride on a fancy yacht. Once he boarded, he selected two ladies to hang out with his entire sex catation. I’m sure they kept him well occupied during the two hour boat ride to the private beach on Margarita Island.

During his lust filled weekend, he endured a live lesbian sex show, an orgy golf tournament where the winner got all 100 girls to himself for 15 minutes and topless salsa lessons. Most of the clientele were doctors and lawyers, you know…the professional type that have a disposable income. Ah, the lives of the rich and nearly anonymous.

I really love the idea of taking a vacation to a sex filled paradise. Like I said before, I think I’d be sore and tired after a few hours though. Maybe an orgy every other day rather than after every meal. That would totally be more my speed.

What do you Peepz think? Could you handle 100 girls all to yourself for 15 minutes? Do you ever have fantasies like that or is that too over the top for you?

Hit me up in the comments below or get in touch on twitter so we can chit chat.

In the meantime, here’s a classic video of a beach orgy from Adam and Eve to get the fantasies brewing.

Source: The Sun

Image: Claudia Valentine in Bitch on the Beach by Brazzers

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Vibrators and Health

Masturbation is one of my favorite hobbies. Back when I was a single gal and didn’t have my wife’s fist at my disposal, I would make it a point to fuck myself with a different toy every night. My collection was massive and was barely contained in two large suitcases.

Doing toy reviews was definitely one of the perks to being a pervert with my own domain.

Buying a vibrator used to mean that you had to go into an adult video store. I’m all about supporting your local sex shops, don’t get me wrong, but some women were a little bit intimidated to head inside and peruse the shelves where they could possibly be ogled by men. In the age of the Internet, it’s easy enough for anyone to hide behind their keyboard and order from a website if they feel embarrassed to walk into a store.

P.S.

There is no need to blush when you walk into a store and buy a sex toy. Plenty of retailers in your local mall are trying to make you feel more comfortable with the idea.

Puritanical society wants us to forget that orgasms are natural, especially when they happen to women. Women’s health is often ignored and pushed aside as unimportant. Huge chain stores like Urban Outfitters, Spencer’s Gifts and Free People are pushing self love back into the spotlight by carrying lines of vibrators, dildos and other toys that are specifically tailored to their brand.

Here’s a Free People YouTube video promoting the brand

Total disclaimer though…

You don’t need to wash your vagina with anything but water. Tossing any chemicals onto your lady bits can actually do more harm than good. I’m all for vibrators and people discussing vaginas in mixed company…I’m just saying…wash your cootch with water.

How do you Peepz feel about sex toys and other “Women’s Health” items being out in the open in the mall while you’re shopping? Does it make you uncomfortable if you see someone shopping for a vibrator like it’s no big deal, or does it turn you on?

Let me know in the comments below or hit me up on twitter if you’d like to discuss privately.

Source: Philly

Image: Going Ham on the Nurse by Brazzers

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Building Intimacy Without Sex

Everyone gets busy, especially this time of year. The end of the year means that you’re trying to add extra hours into your already cramped schedule so that you can make everyone feel a little bit more appreciated. It’s easy to be exhausted at the end of the day and forget to appreciate your partner.

As I’ve settled into married life, I find myself craving actual sex a lot less. I love my wife and I love fucking her, but when you consider that we were fucking a few times a day when we first hooked up, and now we’re finding that we only have time to hook up a few times a week, it’s a drastic change.

I found an article on Well and Good that confirmed that everything is perfectly normal with the flow of my relationship. Even when we’re not bumping our pussies together, we’re still discovering new ways to be intimate with each other. The article lists three ways that anyone can rekindle compassion with their lover and the only reason that i’m talking about it is because I feel like all three things are easy to do and totally make sense.

One of my favorite parts of my day is snuggling into my babe’s back and making her my little spoon. Cuddling and being super close is comforting. I love the way our bodies feel when they curve into each other and cup every bend. Touching without sex being an ulterior motive can make you feel wanted and needed just as much as a good orgasm can.

The first time my wife and I went to the movies together, we saw Don Jon, that Joseph Gordon-Levitt movie about the guy with the porno adiction. When we were exiting the theater, I grabbed my wife’s hand to hold. She tells people that my initiation of hand holding is the reason that she fell in love with me. Science has uncovered the fact that holding hands can release oxytocin, which is the hormone that makes love possible…so maybe my wife is right, hand holding is a signal of intimacy.

The third way that the article suggests you stay intimate is by communicating specifically about your relationship on a weekly basis. It’s always good to have a check in and make sure that everyone involved is on the same page. The more frequently you do that, the better off everyone is. If you are headed in one direction and your partner is headed in another, it’s best to know at inception, rather than figuring it out years down the road with tons of regret about not opening your mouth in the first place.

Do you Peepz have any tips for being intimate without having sex? Let me know in the comments below or hit me up on twitter

Source: Well and Good

Image: Bridgette B in Intimate Seance by Brazzers

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Fap Along With Harlot: Go Sports, Revisited!

For the past few months, while Lisa Ann has been preparing for her big comeback, I’ve been listening to a lot of sports talk. She’s a huge fan of all things balls so I’ve picked up a thing or two about a thing or two.

Actually that’s a lie.

I still know zero about most organized ball moving.

That’s OK though, because I can still turn to porno if I’m looking for a fix. Are you Peepz ready to learn AND get turned on? Let’s fap!

I’m going to start this post off with a clip starring the master herself, Lisa Ann. She’s hunting for some competition in this Bang Bros clip and finds herself knee deep in some big black cock to stuff in all her holes.

Alexis Rodriguez doesn’t understand the type of dick she’s about to encounter until it’s too late. She’s shooting some hoops and learning how to play the game when she loses and has to take her top off. That leads to sexy times, obviously.

If you’ve been reading along with my posts for the past decade or so, you’ll know that I’m a huge fan of unusual insertions. I had to watch this clip 4 times because I couldn’t stop masturbating long enough to type. Aurora Belle flashes and plays in public and then she fucks her tennis racket. I mean…that’s like all my favs wrapped up in one.

Are cheerleaders even a thing at baseball games? I don’t think they are…but that’s OK. The hotness of this scenario more than makes up for it’s believability.

Is working out a sport? I asked my wife and she said no. Maybe working out is the best sport there is though, because if you’re doing it, you’re winning. Idk. Maybe that’s a stretch. Anyway, for the last clip today August Taylor gives a VERY loud blow job and then gets her back banged out while she’s bending over a treadmill.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. I hope you’re sweaty and drained of cum, just like me. If you’d like a fap along of your very own, hit me up in the comments below or get in touch on twitter.

Image: Nicole Aniston in Betting on the Backspin by Brazzers

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Does She Get Half His Booty?

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Sex on the Pyramids

Oh. Man.

Here’s a story about a fucket list item that I didn’t even know that I had until I saw the photographic evidence of it happening.

Danish photographer Andreas Hvid is an adventurer. If you take a gander through the portfolio that is on his website, you’ll note that he loves doing nude photography in public places with faceless women and often, his own body.

People are currently up in arms because of one particular photo session from November.

He and his friend wore all black, waited until the moon had risen and scaled every inch of the Great Pyramid, the pyramid of Khufu, in Giza. Once that grand task had been accomplished, they smoked cigarettes and slowly stripped with Cairo’s lights shining in the background.

Then…they fucked.

I mean…if you’re going to fuck somewhere adventurous and dangerous, on top of the Great Pyramid of Giza may be THE place to do it.

Here’s the video of their climb to the top of pyramid:

The image that got them into trouble is in the header. It’s hot and unique and impulsive…and ART!!!

My concern about fucking on top of the pyramid would only be fucking up the actual structure. I don’t think that having sex in historic, public places is messed up. They make for great stories with a ton of shock value (Yankee Stadium anyone?) and people love to hear about them. They exhibitionist in me is hella jealous that they had the opportunity to go on this escapade.

Would you fuck on top of the pyramid if you had the chance? Do you think it’s disrespectful to bang in public when no one is around to see you?

Let me know in the comments below or hit me up on twitter

Source: Lastestly

Image: Andreas Hvid’s Website

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There’s New Top Position in Town

Missionary is Ye Olde Standard Favorite when it comes to sex positions. I’m pretty sure that it’s mainly because butts are nice and they are having a moment thanks to the resurgence of curvy, fit bodies. Missionary is no longer the go-to way to bang. That title is currently being held by doggie style according to the 2018 Millennial Sex Survey by SKYN Condoms.

Back when I was fucking dudes, I always loved doggie style, especially if the guy fucking me had a set of balls that were a bit saggy. If there’s one sexual feeling that I miss, it’s the way that balls feel when they are quickly swinging and tapping at my clit. It’s the spots that a dick hits and the easy way that it slides inside…and mostly the way that hands feel on my hips when I’m being pulled into another person’s body.

Plus it’s nice to get spanked and cum at the same time, but that’s just me.

Last weekend, my wife and I tried a new position for the first time and I think it might be my new obsession. We were both lying on our backs with our legs spread and our pussies barely touching. There were two vibrators involved and lots of heavy breathing. The sexiest part was probably when I started cumming and my labia started twitching and just barely grazed her pussy lips. That made me cum all over again, so it was like a double orgasm in 45 seconds.

Fucking intense.

Are you Peepz into doggie style or is there another way that you like getting your rocks off on the regular?

Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter and tell me all your dirty secrets.

In the meantime, here’s a PornHub clip with some pounding from behind.

Source: Assh Lee in Comic Sands

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Tumblr Bans Porn, The Internet Rages

When tumblr was bought by Yahoo back in 2013 the Yahoo execs swore that they wouldn’t fuck up the micro blogging platform. Fast forward to
2018 and they’ve continuously done exactly that. The appearance of more frequent ads and the changes in a handful of features had people upset, but they weren’t up in arms.

Now though? The fuckers at Verizon are in control and they just shot themselves in the foot while covering all the dicks and clits in censorship. Tumblr announced earlier this month that they were no longer going to be allowing any kind of nudity on the site. The language actually reads:

Starting Dec 17, adult content will not be allowed on Tumblr, regardless of how old you are…
Adult content primarily includes photos, videos, or GIFs that show real-life human genitals or female-presenting nipples, and any content—including photos, videos, GIFs and illustrations—that depicts sex acts.

K. So, I mean…what exactly are adults who don’t enjoy the musings of Taylor Swift going to do with a social media platform that was an adult content haven that suddenly did an about face. More importantly though, what in the fuck is with all of these large corporations censoring sex?

In November, Starbucks decided that no porno was allowed to be viewed on their wifi and in their shops. I’m not going to waste an entire post talking about how fucked up Starbucks is for also banning adult content…because it’s fucking exhausting to see these companies batter the adult industry further and further into the corners of society.

And also?

I don’t even like Starbucks. I make my own dirty chai at home with my french press and loose tea leaves. It’s way better and costs me like $.75. Go fuck yourself.

YouPorn banned Starbucks drinks in their offices after the Starbucks ban was announced. I’m going to jump on that bandwagon too…even though I may have consumed 4 beverages from the company in my entire life.

I stopped hanging out on tumblr when then marked my blog as explicit a few years ago. I went from gaining followers on the daily to zero notes on my posts in a two week period of time because they were marking my posts as inappropriate with some dumb filter. I wasn’t even posting my tits at that point, I was reblogging cute animal gifs and poetry. When I checked in on my tumblr account to see what the deal was with the new TOS, I discovered that every single post with the word lesbian in it had been flagged as explicit…like this one. Give a click to see the full image:

I mean…fuck you, tumblr. I deleted my account already, just like a whole lot of other people did. I can’t wait to see you crash and burn a la the myspace machine. And if they don’t, they’ll just become the next Christian mingle offshoot and we’ll all end up ignoring them anyway.

Source: Tech Crunch

Image: Lana Rhoades in Stealing Her Phone by Reality Kings

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Fap Along with Harlot: How Does That Dick Fit?

Peepz! It’s that time again where we all strip down and make each other feel good. I’ve been fantasizing about monster cocks splitting my pussy wide open this week, so I headed to PornHub to sift through all the goodies. I’m already exhausted from all the masturbation that I’ve endured today, and I know I’m going to end up getting off at least two more times while I’m writing because these clips are sexy as fuck.

Are you ready to ride a size-queen wave with me? Grab your favorite bottle of lube and let’s fap!

A sleazy real estate agent gets his cock wet in an employee’s pussy right before she shows a home. She’s dressed in business attire to begin with, but by the five minute mark, she’s stripped down and on her knees ready for a mouth fucking.

No matter who you match Julio Gomez up with, his dick is going to seem like a mammoth. He’s possibly the most well-hung stud that has ever graced the adult entertainment industry. I know, bold statement…but wait till you see him fuck.

A beach beauty playing in the sand is picked up, literally and figuratively, by a well-hung hunk who wants to party. He gets buried in the sand but then pile drives her pussy with a vengeance.

Honey Gold is one of my regular favorites. She loves going for long rides on hard cocks. In this clip, she screams for more while she’s cumming.

You’re going to love this last clip that involves Peta Jensen getting fucked in a bathroom by a massive dick. She makes out with him to set the mood but is on her knees with a cock stroking her tonsils in a few minutes.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. If you’d like a Fap Along of your very own, hit me up in the comments below, or get in touch on twitter.

Image: Sophie Dee in Bubbly Ass Teen Slut by Brazzers

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Sex Furniture On An (Even Lower) Budget

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Dress Tracks Touching

Do you Peepz remember Hyper Color clothing? Back in the late 80s, early 90s (maybe I’m dating myself?) Hyper Color was all everyone wanted to wear in the summer. When you touched the treated cotton fabric, the color would shift. I had a purple tshirt that would turn from blue to purple, but I liked purple more so I would just touch my shirt all day long. Looking back, it was kind of strange to see kids making a game out of touching their clothing, stranger things have been fads though, I guess.

An ad agency named Ogilvy was hired by Schweppes to use a vamped up modern technology with the same basic theme of the hype color clothing. They sent three Brazilian women out into the club scene to track how often other people touched them. The touch-sensitive dress tracked all the data and after the night was over and the data was processed, no one was really surprised at the results.

Spoiler alert…they were touched a whole fucking lot.

In a period of time less than 4 hours, the women were touched more than 40 times per hour, a total of 157 times. Does that seem like an exaggerated number to you? I believe it. Every single woman that I know has been groped by a stranger out in public. It’s not a good look, guys. There are tons of men who are respectful of women, their personal space and their bodies, but there are also a bunch of people out there who don’t give a shit about respect and think that they can get away with touching whoever they want without consent.

The only Halloween I ever went to the infamous Webster Hall Halloween party in New York City, I left early because some dude thought it would be cool to swoop by my friend and I in order to feel up our tits. It was fucking creepy and the whole night was ruined for me. For awhile, I stopped going out to bars, but then I realized that the only thing suffering by me staying home was my ability to have a good time with my friends.

The women in the experiment were touched in their backs and arms, which could obviously be from strangers trying to excuse themselves to get by in the crowded club…but how about all the touching on the thighs and asses.

I’ve never said, “Excuse me!” and nudged someone out of the way with a pat on their bum. If you have, you should definitely change your behavior. All you have to do is ask permission before you touch someone, that’s all. If they say no, then don’t do it. It’s not hard to restrain your wandering hands, promise.

Source: Newsweek

Image: Alexis Breeze in Hair Undresser by Brazzers

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Get Glittery for the Holidays!

Dick Shooting in the Meat Department

My wife told me not to write this post because it would be controversial. I am obviously not heading her advice…so I will say before I continue on with this post that the opinions contained herein are my own. If you want to duel keyboards with me, feel free to do it on twitter because that’s where I hang out most of the time.

Back in November, a man shot himself in the dick while he was buying some meat in Walmart. Do you see now why I couldn’t stop myself from writing about this? The man was waiting for some meat and the loaded gun that he had kept holstered in his sweatpants slipped. He repositioned it so that it wouldn’t fall to the ground and when he did, it fired and he took a bullet to the cock.

I mean, that’s one way to fuck your life up real quick.

Everyone cleared out the Walmart and when the police showed up, they found the man alone on the ground bleeding. They took him to the hospital where he was treated for the wound in his peen and he was released after treatment. Police are saying that the shooting was accidental (I mean, duh? Who purposely shoots themselves in the most sensitive part of their body?) but they did file a report of unlawful discharge of a firearm.

Now for the controversial part…I have some questions.

Why are you carrying a loaded gun in your sweatpants? I’m confused as to how that’s safe in any circumstances, forget about the fact that you’re in public and surrounded by people. Is getting some bologna and swiss for tomorrow’s lunch a dangerous activity in Arizona? There are definitely some sketchy Walmarts in Jersey, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt threatened enough to wish that I had tucked a semi-automatic weapon into my pants.

I’m absolutely down for discussion about this…I get that people who watch porno are on either side of the gun regulation fence. I don’t expect everyone to be as anti-gun as I am or as pro-gun as my wife is. When it comes to your naughty bits though? Don’t you always want to play it safe and keep your junk out of the line of fire?

Here’s a Bang Bros clip of two ladies fucking in public, which has nothing to do with guns or meat but is sexy none the less.

Source: AZ Central

Image: Sneaky Slut Bags the Scoundrel

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Masturbation Roll

Peeperz presents to you the best sites on the entire internet:

Candice Swanepoel Tits Out for Fashion – DrunkenStepfather

Sarah Hyland’s Nude Vacation – CelebJihad

Demi Rose Black Pantie Upskirt – TaxiDriverMovie

Megan Fox Nip Slip in New York! – The Nip Slip

Starbucks Wants You To Stop Watching Porn In Coffee Shops – Smoking Section

Happy Shower Girl! – BoobieBlog

Olivia Preston – Captivating Style – PrettyHot&Sexy

Sexy Celeb Babes – Paparazzigr.tv

Follow Peeperz on Twitter! – We rock the tweets, join the party

 

Image: Stephanie West in The Welcum Tour by Brazzers

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Fap Along With Harlot: Team Skeet

Hello Peepz! It’s my favorite time of the week again, where we all get to strip down and have some fun with ourselves watching some porno. I was stumbling around PornHub trying to figure out what to use as a theme when I saw the banner on Team Skeet’s page proclaiming that they had won Best Network at the PornHub Awards.

I started clicking around through their clips and realized that I was pulling so many to share with you perverts that I had to stop myself. When you’ve got quality videos and over 20 sites to shoot for, you know you’re going to come up with gold more often than not.

Are you ready to cum along with me? Grab your fuck socks and let’s fap!

This first blowjob clip proves that sometimes you don’t need to say a word to be sexy as fuck. An amateur latina expertly works a cock with her mouth and doesn’t make a sound until her face is completely covered with her co-star’s cum.

When your physical trainer isn’t working you hard enough, a super sloppy cock sucking is in order. Jennifer White wants an intense workout and if she isn’t being pushed hard enough, she’s going to make sure she gets her sweat on.

Fresh out of the shower and ready to get dirty again, this pink pussy gets fucked raw and creampied with a vengeance. Her skin is a milky smooth as the jizz that drips out from between her pussy lips.

The blue-haired beauty in this clip gets a massage with a happy ending. I love the role reversal of this one, and how loud she gets when his dick is getting in really deep.

Havana Ginger and Mikey Butders star in the last clip in this Team Skeet Fap Along. It’s sex from second one and it doesn’t stop for the whole duration. I’m going to finish up with this clip because I’m in love with her huge nipples and the way they look when she’s getting banged.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. Enjoy the rest of your week and don’t forget to wash your cum socks.

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My Pussy Was “Accidentally” Waxed

Body hair maintenance is one of those topics that is slightly taboo unless you’re straight up talking about genitals. I get my upper lip waxed every three weeks and have for years. I’m Italian and human…so the fact that hair grows on my face shouldn’t be all that shocking.

The woman who has regularly waxed me for as long as I’ve been married suddenly left her job. I’m not sure what happened, I’m assuming there was drama though, because she was a feisty firecracker and that’s why I love her. When I showed up for my regular appointment last week, I came face to face with a woman who really, really wanted to wax my pussy.

Something must have been lost in the shuffle between the receptionist and the esthetician because she said hello to me, and then said, “Ok! You’re getting a Brazilian, right?” and closed the door.

I explained to her that I was just getting my lip done, but she insisted again that her ticket said that I was getting all of my bits waxed. She actually argued with me about it. I mean…yeah. Totally sure that I was only getting my face waxed and not my pussy, but go ahead and question me.

Getting my pussy waxed is something that has always terrified me. I’m not into pain as much as I was in my twenties, and thinking about hair being ripped from my labia and asshole is what my nightmares are made of.

I said to her, “Listen, if you want to wax my butthole so bad, just do it. How does this work?”

She explained to me that I should get undressed from the waist down and lay on the table with a towel over my puss…then she’d come in and take care of business.

Why not, right? Everyone loves a Tuesday night adventure.

So I did as she instructed and when she came in I think I was more impulsively angry than anything else. She knocked timidly and said, “I’m really sorry but you were right…you were only getting your lip done today.”

“Well now you’re waxing all my lips. Let’s get this over with.”

She was quiet the whole time, I was the only one inhaling sharply with my eyes closed every time she ripped the hair out of the most sensitive parts of my body. Here’s what I discovered though.

You get used to the pain…and a waxed pubic mound is much more comfortable than a shaved mound. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going back to hardwood floors all the time or anything, but it’s nice to know that if I have an occasion and want to switch things up, I have the option.

My pussy wax was totally free because of the disagreement that I had with the esthetician, so no harm no foul. Plus I had a surprise ready and waiting for my wife after she got home from work.

Because blue balls are zero fun, here’s a Bang.com compilation clip with tons of shaved pussy.

Image: Nina Hartley in Nina’s Chapel of Lust by Brazzers

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Strip Club Fights for Free Speech

In New Jersey, it has always been illegal for BYOB establishments to advertise that their customers could actually bring their own alcohol inside. This is one of those dumb laws that probably shouldn’t be on the books, but someone forgot to overturn it at some point. Thanks to a strip club in Atlantic City, that situation has been taken care of.

Stiletto, club within the city limits of the old school gambler’s paradise, decided that not being able to tell their patrons that they are able to bring in their own beer and wine was pretty archaic. They called up their lawyers and started filing the paperwork with the courts to help out all New Jersey businesses that were having the same problem they were.

U.S. District Court Judge Joseph H. Rodriguez wrote, “New Jersey’s statutory ban on BYOB advertising places a content-based restriction on speech that fails strict scrutiny because it is not supported by a compelling government interest…The State Defendants presented no compelling government interest for banning BYOB advertising, while permitting liquor stores and restaurants with liquor licenses to advertise on-site alcohol sales.”

So now any restaurant in the state that is BYOB can say that they are without worrying about the cops handing out tickets…even though not a lot of cops were handing out tickets.

Strip clubs have been on the forefront of fighting for the rights of their establishments for a very long time. The infamous Lusty Lady in San Francisco was one of the first to have unionized dancers (the first club to do so was actually San Diego’s Pacers). Everyone that danced at the club was given an hourly wage instead of living off of tips and minimum. Their hours were regulated and their union was able to negotiate the terms of their contracts with the owners.

Having BYOB signs up to advertise the drinking situation might seem like a tiny piece of the puzzle, but restaurants and other strip clubs all over the state are celebrating that they are finally able to put the word out. I’ve been living in Jersey for most of my life and I had zero idea that this was even a law. I think that most places just disregarded the situation and advertised anyway? I’m not sure..Maybe I never noticed that it was advertised and I was just lugging wine around with me willy nilly all over the place?

Who knows.

Everyone with a BYOB business in Jersey should be thankful to Stiletto in any case.

Here’s a Brazzers clip of Madison Ivy beating some meat in a kitchen to remind you how silly puritanical laws are:

Source: NJ101.5

Image: London Keyes in Smothered by a Stripper by Brazzers

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Fap Along With Harlot: Jessa Rhodes Gets Down

An Internet friend slid into my DMs last week and asked me what I thought of Jessa Rhodes. She’s a pornstar originally from Portland, Oregon who has this look in her eye that just melts cocks down to the ground. I think that my favorite thing about her is the snear she gets when she sees a dick that she wants inside of her body.

I’ve scoured PornHub and done a ton of research to compile this Fap Along list for your Peepz today. What I’ve discovered is that Jessa is one of the best, whether she’s sucking cock or getting fucked in the ass…you’re really going to enjoy jerking off to her.

You Peepz ready to fap? Grab your favorite fuck sock and let’s go!

Jessa deals in the world of fantasies. In this first clip, she is the victim of her peeping Tom “stepson” and his wanking habits. She gives in and gives him exactly what he’s in the mood for.

The characters that Jessa plays always have their eye on the prize. Her pussy gets her out of trouble all the damn time and she knows how powerful her tits are.

Jessa trash talks her husband while she’s cuckholding him for She Will Cheat. She knows that she needs a stiff cock and when he isn’t able to provide her with that, she will get it from another source.

I’ve scored an all blowjob vid for those of you Peepz who are into the oral. Jessa takes it as deep as she possibly can while she’s slurping up her saliva and getting ready for the pop shot.

In this last clip, Jessa is living a life of luxury after her divorce. She pays special attention to her driver because his cock always makes her feel like she made the right decision to leave her hubby.

That’s all for this week Peepz. Make sure you clean up your cum stains after you’ve spewed them. See you next week!

Image: Jessa Rhodes in Follow Me by Brazzers

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