Women and Wet Dreams

While I have sex dreams all of the time, I can probably count on half of one hand how many times I’ve had an orgasm in my sleep. I didn’t even realize that it was something that was possible because it is one of those “female sex myths,” that is almost never discussed. Is it even really possible?

We may have to look to science for the answers.

If you’re going to orgasm when you’re asleep, it’s going to happen during your REM sleep cycle. The increased blood flow will go straight to your naughty bits. Right before you drift off, if you happen to be thinking about that special someone that you want to bone, there is a higher likelihood that you’ll dream about sex once you get to REM. Dreaming about sex seems to be the key to having nocturnal emissions.

Here’s a wacky thought though…

Why do you have to have an actual orgasm in order for it to count as a wet dream?

I’m thinking that it doesn’t.

My ultimate goal when I’m having any kind of sexual contact is to cum…but sometimes my body has other plans. If I wake up in the middle of the night out of breath with my heart racing and my pussy is super sticky, I’m going to say that completely counts. Feeling the pulsations of a strong orgasm upon waking hasn’t happened often in my life…I can honestly only remember it happening twice….but there have been so many sex dreams that have turned into fantasies that I’ve ended up acting upon.

I think that the difference between the fact that penis having people are taught about nocturnal emissions and the fact that it’s not even discussed with vulva having folk is all embedded sexism.

Penises shoot cum straight out the tip. It’s visible so it gets all over sheets and makes a huge mess of things.

Vulvas do not have that “issue,” because most of the time everything is self contained.

I think that it’s completely possible for women to have wet dreams. Maybe if we were less shy about discussing what’s happening in our pants when we wake up, it we’d be better off. The stories will definitely come out of the woodwork if we start circulating the knowledge.

Here’s a Brazzers clip of Amy Brooke having an extremely visible orgasm because sometimes you need to see the goods to understand the full situation.

Source: Vice

Image: Amy Brooke in Squirt Therapy by Brazzers

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Must Have Been One Hell of a DVD

When I first saw the headlines about a guy in Baltimore getting fired over watching 39 hours of porn over the course of a two week period, my first thought was this guy really should have looked into working at the EPA instead.

My second thought was while 39 hours is indeed a lot of time, if someone is just idly surfing porn sites all day, they might not really be “watching” porn during all those hours, so much as they’ve been looking for some porn to watch.

Then I read something which cast the whole story into an impressive new light: The dude was watching a porn DVD, in full-screen mode.

These facts change everything, as they speak to a focus on and dedication to the viewing material which goes way beyond mere channel-surfing. This was a man not idly browsing tube site categories, or plumbing the depths of a Google search for ‘free porn videos;’ clearly he was dissecting and digesting every moment of footage, more like a determined literature professor digging for meaning than an aroused porn viewer seeking orgasmic release.

As reported by the Baltimore Sun, there’s no indication it was a different DVD every day, or more than one DVD in any given day, which means on the day in which “viewing occurred for 6 hours and 46 minutes of an eight-hour day” he must have watched the same porn DVD at least two or three times that day – unless of course it was a porn DVD made by James Cameron, in which case it has approximately 400 hours of interviews with the director in the ‘extras’ section.

Either way, my primary take-away from this story now is, we must be talking about one hell of a DVD!

You know how there are some movies you can see 20 times and still not catch everything in them, like all the obscure self-references in Repo Man, the subtle symbolism which peppers Barton Fink or the continuity flaws and poorly executed stunts in American Ninja? Maybe it was that kind of porn DVD – something so layered, so nuanced or perhaps so obscured by bodily fluid it takes multiple viewings to even begin to wrap your brain around all its twists, turns and positional changes.

Without additional information, I’m not even sure how much I can bring myself to cyber-chastise this unidentified Baltimorean porn enthusiast. Maybe watching it full-screen in plain view of his coworkers was just a means of sharing something really meaningful to him, kind of like openly picking your nose while sitting at a traffic light, only a lot grosser and far more obviously unacceptable under any circumstances.

Either way, I was very pleased to hear the Inspector General, Rob Pearre Jr., say the outcome of the case would have been the same regardless of what the now-terminated city employee had been watching on his computer in lieu of doing his damn job.

“It would have been the same if he were watching sports on his computer for four out of eight hours a day,” Pearre said.

Actually, I’m certain one thing would have been different if this guy had been watching sports: There would have been no headlines about it, because nobody would give a shit about an article with the headline “City Employee Fired for Watching Too Much Baseball at Work.”

On the bright side for Baltimore, when it comes to allegations of problematic conduct on the part of its city employees hitting the news, I suppose there are things worse than excessive porn viewing the media could be focused on right about now….

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Botched Circumcision In Florida Home Leads To Stabbing?

Circumcision is a very controversial subject for both new parents and people who like to argue about absolutely anything on the internet. Some have the procedure done as infants because of religious or cultural traditions, while others consider the act to be based on outdated health standards and opt not to have it done to their babies.

Personally, my great grandfather was born to a Jewish mother and was circumcised per her request. Generations later despite being and about as Kosher as a ham and cheese sandwich, I was circumcised because nobody in my family knew any different.

Like most people this was done when I was an infant, however there are some who have it done when they’re older although you rarely seen it performed on adults by request of their parents… unless you’re talking about Florida.

Oh the humidity!

Floridians often make the news for absurd reasons and today’s entry does not disappoint. Be it the excess sunshine, near constant heat exposure, or the millions of pounds of drugs that enter its beaches illegally there’s just something special about Florida- affectionately known as America’s track mark.

When 20-year-old Alex Fultz learned his father wanted to circumcise him in their home against his wishes, he decided to present his argument against it in the way he saw fit. He promptly stabbed his father in the neck while he was sleeping. Yikes!

According to officers who arrived at the home with paramedics, the victim was quickly rushed to a hospital and Fultz peacefully exited the home with his arms up as he quietly surrendered to police. After confirming his father would survive the stabbing, Alex was charged with attempted murder.

When officers found out Fultz had previously been diagnosed with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and autism the Florida justice system did what they always do with victims of mental illness. They shoved him in a correction center without bail while he awaits sentencing.

Hopefully both men will get the physical and mental healthcare they need and Fultz’ foreskin stays intact.

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British Butcher Debuts Natural Viagra Sausages

I like sausages. I also like penises though primarily my own. Seasoned ground meat with a high fat content and a perfect blend of spices is the culinary world’s gift to humanity, while my penis is like a lifelong best friend that drives many of my life choices. However unlike the dependable presence of tubes filled with minced meat- my penis and the glands connected to it will one day fail me.

Much like the under-researched and neglected ailments associated with female health issues, men also face gender specific health problems that many people are unaware of.

Low testosterone is a natural part of the aging process that can occur early and harshly in some men. This sudden drop of the male sex hormone can result in severe depression, sexual dysfunction, and a loss of muscle mass. Yikes!

If only there was a way sausage, the other love of my life, could help remedy this problem… Oh there’s a sausage with natural Viagra in it designed to help men? Neat!

SOS Viagra Sausages are the invention of Matt O’Connor, who believes his erection-inducing sausages can help raise awareness about the physical and mental health problems men face due to low testosterone.

The sausages are pork based that, in addition to other spices, include Ginseng, L’Arginine, and Horny Goat Weed. These herbs aren’t added to enhance the product’s flavor, but rather to enhance blood flow to the penis. All these extra ingredients are considered to be natural remedies for erectile dysfunction.

Personally I’m what many would call an unbeliever of alternative and natural remedies for things science has already knocked out of the ballpark. While I’m aware studies exist that verify certain herbs and plant based concoctions may improve one’s health, I’m also aware the vast majority of them are overpriced snake oil that are completely unregulated.

That being said, nobody is claiming to sell magic boner sausages.

SOS Viagra Sausages are produced by a British butcher based in London and are a part of O’Connor’s campaign to raise awareness of what he calls a “public health emergency facing men.” The product, which may or may not have medicinal properties, are primarily designed to both taste good and make people aware of the effects of low testosterone.

Whether you believe that’s true or just a gimmick someone came up with to sell sausages depends entirely on how cynical you are.

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Normalize Dudes and Vibrators

I get off with sex toys nearly every day of my life. Could I use my hands to rub one out? Of course…but most of the time I’m looking for an intense sensation that would give carpal tunnel if I attempted manual manipulation.

During sex, a lot of the guys that I’ve fucked have been intimidated by my vibrator use. They never understood why I needed “more” than just their dick…and that’s why most of the men that I fucked in my life never made me orgasm. If I knew then what I know now, I would have slept with a whole lot less folks.

Everyone deserves to feel the pleasure that they are looking for in sexual situations. If that means that you like the way it feels when someone dips their tongue into your butthole while they’re stroking you off, so be it. Next time, maybe try a vibrator.

Sex toys are welcome additions in my bedroom. From rope to my trusty Hitachi, every extra sensation only adds to my pleasure. When my partners are strapped up and fucking my, it makes me cream instantly when they ask, “Can you reach that vibe over there?”

In the article linked below, the author talks about the “pleasure gap,” which is the significant lack of orgasms between folks in queer relationships vs. those in heterosexual ones….I’m looking at you ladies. So many of my male partners didn’t understand that they had to put in a little bit more effort than just giving my pussy the old in/out, in/out in order to make me get off. I can’t even explain how much time I’ve wasted sucking dick hoping that the man in my mouth would return the favor or at least give my clit some action while he was pounding away.

It didn’t seem to matter how assertive I was, or how many times I asked…the guys that I ended up in bed with couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to where it counts…right on my fucking clit.

I think that it’s time that guys give up the ghost. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to please your partner in a way that they enjoy. If your lover likes playing with toys, get some! If they come with their own kit of tricks, ask them if you can have a look inside to experiment.

Using bedroom accessories will only open the floodgates of passion more than they already are. There’s no reason why you should be intimidating by a vibrating stick that takes a few batteries.

Do you like using sex toys with your partner? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter for some special recommendations based on what your partner enjoys.

Source: Inside Hook

Image: Nina Hartley in Mom Stole My Boyfriend by Brazzers

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Fuck Buddy Bubbles

In my vanilla life, there are plenty of people that are suddenly having conversations that are very similar to the safer-sex negotiations that I’ve been having with potential partners for years. For those of us that understand that talking about risks is important, this whole COVID conversation thing may seem like old hat.

Here’s the scenario.

Before I even think about doing some social distance meetups, I need to know how risky the person is being. Have they been taking quarantine seriously? Do they wear their masks as often as possible? Are they obsessively sanitizing and washing their hands? Do they understand that, when you’re going to fist someone, gloves are the best tool for the job because it allows the lube to be more viscous?

That’s a different conversation actually.

Well, sometimes it is anyway.

In the Vogue article linked below, they discuss forming a “sex bubble,” or even a “cuddle bubble,” if you’re not looking for any kind of immediate orgasm giving and receiving. The author quotes The Dutch National Institute for Public Health and the Environment (RIVM) who advises that forming a bubble may be the best way to keep safe, both from STDs and COVID-19:

The idea is, essentially, that you pick a partner who mirrors the strict safety of your own anti-coronavirus measures and you arrange to hook up regularly, forming a ‘bubble’. Anyone who you or your partner link up with will also become a part of your bubble, which is something the RIVM has also advised on. “The more people you see, the greater the chance of (spreading) the coronavirus,” they warn. Most importantly, the RIVM state you shouldn’t have sex with anyone if they’ve been required to isolate, either through exposure to a confirmed coronavirus case, or if they are themselves showing symptoms.

In the last month, I’ve been tested for both Corona and every STD on the planet. I’m a big fan of resetting the baseline in between partners and since my rebound relationship ended up being with someone whose partner wasn’t exactly honest about who they were sleeping with, it was necessary. While I was getting my STD panel, I got a COVID test done because why the fuck not. I’ve been playing it safe sexually for a very long time and I’m not about to let a pandemic change my thoughts about getting tested for whatever it is that I may or may not have been exposed to.

How are you Peepz holding up during this pandemic? Are you finding it difficult to talk to other people about how safe they are being or are you completely comfortable with the discussion? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with your stories about the conversations you’re having about safety.

Source: Vogue

Image: Desiree Dulce in Bubble Beauty by Brazzers

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Fap Along with Harlot: Hardcore Hotties

Have you Peepz taken a gander at Pornhub’s Hardcore category lately? I usually dive into either Double Penetration or Bisexual Male when I’m all by myself, but tonight I decided that I was in the mood for something different. The cool thing about Hardcore is that the clips are going to be intense, but it’s also a fairly good mix of content.

While I was busy with my clit, I kept opening clips up in different windows so that I could save some of the goodies for my favorite Peepz. Are you ready to enjoy them with me all over again? I honestly can’t wait to cum with you.

Why don’t you sit back and get comfortable and let me drive your mind for awhile, how does that sound? I’m ready to get in the driver’s seat, so let’s fap!

Public Agent clips are usually awesome. A man approaches a sexy woman on the street and they chat for a bit. After awhile it’s obvious that he’s looking to get into her pants, so the actress decides to take the guy’s cash and take care of business in some sordid place. This woman’s nipples are so fucking hot, wait till you see.

A beautiful blonde blowjob giver in some slinky pink lingerie gets her pussy fingered in this next clip. I love watching her squirm her pussy all over the place while she’s pumping her hips up and down on his dick. There’s nothing like a little bit of reverse cowgirl to really turn me on.

Dana Dearmond will forever be one of my favorite Porn Stars. Her ass is thick and ther tits are amazing, but my favorite part about her is the snarky way that she plays it up to the camera when she’s getting laid. In this Anal Mom clip, she decides to rain on the parade of some loud neighbors but he ends up sticking his peen in her butthole, so it’s fine.

I’m so into Krystal Swift’s body and the way she makes her titties bounce. She’s all natural with bedroom eyes that you’re going to have a hard time losing site of. She starts out stroking her own puss but quickly gives a come hither glance to a friend off camera so that she can have some hardcore fun.

It’s no secret that I’m obsessed with crazy large anal insertions. I saved this clip for last because it made me accidentally squirt all over my bed and I had to change my sheets. This beautiful ginger hottie can seriously take some extreme penetration, Peepz. Wait till you see her fire up the fucking machine.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. I hope you had a blast cumming with me today. I’m going to give my pussy a break and you should probably do the same for your own bits. If you’d like a Fap Along of your very own, let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Image: Jasmine Webb in Hardcore Initiation by Brazzers

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Happy World BDSM Day!

Give yourself a swift spank on the rear, Peepz. Today is World BDSM Day! Since I’ve been fascinated with the world of kink for so long, I figured we could talk about some of the finer points of D/s today.

First, the basics in case some of you Peepz aren’t privy.

BDSM can stand for a few things, depending on who you are talking to. The words bondage, dominance, discipline, submission, sadism and masochism can be tossed around liberally like parmesan cheese on pasta. I make the distinction by using BDSM when I’m talking about bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism and the term D/s for when I’m talking about Dominance and submission. It’s up to your preference.

Within BDSM there are fetishes or kinks galore. Some people are into impact play, which means that you either like hitting people or being hit. The impact of the toys (floggers, paddles, ratan canes etc) can create some amazing marks. Is it painful? Sometimes. The neat thing about proper BDSM is that you can gauge how intense the sensations are with the pressure of the hit.

Clothing is a big part of BDSM culture. Leather and latex are high on the list of wardrobe wants within the scene. My personal love for fishnets, stockings and garter belts came from all of the time that I spent inside D/s parties looking for kinky things to do with my body.

Besides the whips, chains and handcuffs that everyone associates with BDSM, there are some other fetishes that are very close to my heart. In D/s circles, I identify as an electro slut. I love the stinging pain of Violet Wands, TENS units and other shockingly pleasurable devices. Medical play, knife play, cupping and fantasies like consensual non-consent are all kinks that my friends and I have shared with each other.

For a visual representation of how sexy kink and rough BDSM can be, here’s a clip of Abella Danger getting tied up and twisted. She gets crazy cum drunk in every position. Wait till you see.

BDSM may not be for everyone, but the kinship of the community is undeniable. You won’t find a group of people that speaks more vocally about safety, consent and communication than kinksters all over the globe.

Have you ever been interested in BDSM? Today is the day to let your kink flag fly! Slide into my DMs on twitter with you fantasies and I’ll tell you some of mine.

Image: Lauren Phillips in BDSM Confidential by Brazzers

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Sex in the Heat

In New Jersey, we are on the tail end of a scorching heat wave. We’ve been fairly blessed so far this season and the heat hasn’t been too bad. Last night though, my regular knock-the-fuck-out masturbation session was put on hold because I was sticking to my sheets even with the air conditioner pointed direction at my body.

Getting physical with someone else when it’s getting seasonally hot can be a little bit tricky. You want to touch them passionately, but every time you touch your skin gets sticky in the irritating sweaty way. Sometimes that can be sexy but sometimes it’s just a bit gross. I scoured the Internets for some hot weather sex tips and figured I’d share the wealth so that everyone can have an active sex life in the heat, even if (like me) you’re going at it solo.

Utilize the power of moving air! Fans and air conditioners are a gift when it comes to sex in the heat. I keep a very small, powerful fan on my nightstand so that I can blow it directly on my neck and tits while I’m masturbating. Sometimes I get so fucking hot that it’s uncomfortable but that fan has saved my orgasm on many an occasion.

Switch up the positions! The less skin-to-skin contact you have, the less uncomfortable the heat will make you. Think about it…when you’re fucking someone missionary, your body heat is in direct contact with each other. Someone is leaning over someone else and your entire torsos are probably touching. My favorite position, reverse cowgirl, has very little skin to skin contact so it’s prefect for those sweltering days. Mutual masturbation is also a really good way to get hot for each other while avoiding sweat.

Change your sheets (and make sure they’re cotton)! I read an interview that Martha Stewart gave years ago. She mentioned that one of the luxuries that she affords herself is that she changes her sheets every single day of the week. I have linen closet envy over that, I swear. While I don’t change my sheets every day, during the summer a weekly change is totally necessary. If you take change them just before you fuck, you’ll have that crisp, cool new sheet feeling going on…and everyone loves that feeling.

Shower sex is awesome! It doesn’t matter if the water is cold or lukewarm. Getting off while you’re in the shower can be so much fun. If you’re with a partner, make sure you’ve got a good grip on something before the pounding starts. You know what definitely isn’t sexy? Slipping in the shower while you’re trying to fuck and ending up in the Emergency Room. Just saying.

Ice cubes and cool counters can change the game! There’s something to be said for icy cold sex. I love dragging a cube fresh from the freezer over my lover’s thighs. It’s a shockingly pleasant sensation that you’ll definitely want to add to your repertoire once you try it out.

How do you, Peepz handle getting down in the heat? Give my your best tips and tricks in the comments below or come over to twitter and give all the dirty details.

Source: Insider

Image: Kenzie Taylor in Ass in Heat by Brazzers

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The First Time with a Woman

I lost my virginity on my grandparent’s living room floor. They used to migrate to Florida for the winter, so their house was completely empty. My boyfriend and I would hang out there and watch television but my motive the entire time was finding a safe space for him to get his dick wet with my pussy.

The first time I made out with a woman was at a party. She was completely trashed and I don’t know that I even realized what was happening until I tasted the beer from her breath in my throat. She walked me outside and we kissed some more, but that was it for that experiment. I was looking for a partner, she was looking for attention…and that’s what we both ended up getting.

Being in love with a woman for the first time sent sparks flying through my body. Connecting with someone on that level and being able to completely enjoy them mind, body and soul was so special to me. Sex didn’t happen at all like the pornos said it would..but to me that was better.

In the Guardian article linked below, the author talks about how she connected to another woman on a romantic level for the first time and how different that experience had been for her. She says:

I had kissed women before, but this time it was softer than I remembered. It helped that we had such intense feelings for one another, but there was a winning-Tetris-move element to that kiss; our lips perfectly in sync.

That Tetris-move kiss is exactly what I look for when I’m dating someone. A first kiss is a test, as far as I’m concerned. I’m convinced that how people relate to each other physically is directly connected to how they are able to kiss. My rebound kissed hard. Her tongue attacked my mouth. At some points during our makeout sessions, all I could do was open my mouth and let her kiss me…there was no way that my tongue could get a word in edgewise to course correct into MY type of kiss.

First time sexual experiences should be positive and memorable. Sometimes they remembered for their awkwardness though. There’s nothing wrong with awkward sex…but I always try as hard as I can to avoid banging teeth.

That’s just bad form, Peepz.

Tell me stories about some of your sexual firsts, Peepz. Do you remember the first time you performed oral sex on someone else? Do you remember the first time you had oral sex performed on you? Let me know in the comments below, or if you’re feeling really randy, slide into my DMs on twitter with the details.

Source: Guardian

Image: Kourtney Kane and Nina Mercedez in The History of Lesbians by Brazzers

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Fap Along With Harlot: Bailey Brooke

Bailey Brooke is fucking gorgeous. She’s a blonde beauty with huge boobs and a bubbly personality that works the camera. Her smile turns me on from jump, but once she starts taking her clothes off she transforms into a goddess.

I’m going to pull five of Baily’s hottest Pornhub clips for us to enjoy together this week. As a warning though, there is one in particular that is going to make you explode. You’re going to have to keep reading to figure out which one it is though.

Are you Peepz ready for a good time? Grab your jizz sock and let’s get ready to fap!

Baily dives deep into porno fantasy and seduces an older man while she’s wearing a sex white bathing suit. I love how she moans and looks over her shoulder while she’s getting fucked from behind.

I love LUBED videos because they are so super sloppy. Bailey gets viscus as fuck in a baby pool while she’s rubbing down her own ass and giving the camera an exquisite view of her back side. When she’s joined by her stunt cock, her eyes roll back into her head while she’s cumming.

For every super star of porno, there’s always a first time that you get filthy with the cameras rolling. While I don’t necessarily feed into the hype that this is Bailey’s actual first time, it’s nice to think about opening up that floodgate of smut at one point or another.

Kiara Cole and Logan Long team up with Bailey in this clip from Let’s Doe it. The ladies get their holes filled up with dick and start begging for more when he slows down to catch his breath.

“Why are we in the Bang Bus?” are some famous last words. Bailey knows that she’s got what it takes to make her guy in the back seat go crazy for her body. They pick up a skateboarder on the side of the road and he gets his dick wet with some sticky pussy.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. Can you guess which clip was my fav? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with your guesses.

Image: Bailey Brooke in Bounce Her by Brazzers

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Unpacking Sex and Body Image

One of the best things I’ve done for myself so far is delete all the dating apps on my phone. Swiping left and right is so damn superficial and I can’t handle it. I’d match with people who were totally my physical type, but then I’d find out in conversation that they were dumb as a box of rocks and I can’t hang with that.

It’s interesting because part of me feels as though I had a much easier time finding people to connect with in a text based world. While I’m comfortable with my body right now, I was definitely much more comfortable with it when I was younger. Every time I get a negative comment about something that has to do with my appearance, it goes straight to my gut and changes into butterflies. When I was in my 20s, I think that I just didn’t give a fuck what people thought of me. Plenty of men that I dated made comments about the fact that they, “Aren’t usually into fat chicks,” but then they’d fuck me and come back for seconds just the same.

Sometimes I’d let them lick my pussy, but most of the time I wouldn’t. If you’re rude enough to say something like that, you definitely don’t deserve to taste the goods.

Because society, especially now, is so centered around image, sometimes it’s hard to figure out if what you’re seeing in the mirror isn’t distorted by your own self doubt. Sometimes people (like me) turn to sex for verification of wanting and sometimes they go in the complete opposite direction and decide not to fuck to avoid the baggage that comes along with being a living, breathing person in the dating pool.

In the Buzzfeed article linked below, the author talks about her own experiences with sex and men who dismiss her because of her body. I had tears streaming down my overly emotional face when I read it because I’ve been there before. No one ever wants to feel like they are a consolation prize in order to get their rocks off. The author decided that, rather than deal with the fucked up messes that sometimes happens when you hook up with people, she would just be celibate. No sex, Peepz. No. Sex.

I’m in a place right now where I’m trying to untangle my ideas of self worth from my ideal sexual situations. I would like to find a kinky woman who I clique with on multiple levels, but most importantly we need to be on the same page in the bedroom. I’m definitely not going to spend the rest of my life waiting for someone to make me orgasm when I can certainly do the deed by my damn self.

How long has your longest stretch without sex been? Do you think that you relate your attractiveness to being able to fuck others?I feel like I may be entering into a healing wave of celibacy that may last a few months. While I’m definitely not going to put any money on that amount of time, it’s a possibility.

Source: Buzzfeed News

Image: Sofia Rose in Disciplinary Action by Brazzers

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Harlot Flies and Sometimes Falls

Two of my pervert friends bought some socks and slippers from me back in May. I was holding onto the Amazon gift cards but decided that I wanted to splurge on myself and get something super fun. My bedroom now contains a yoga trapeze.

I’ve been doing yoga on and off for a few years and I find it incredibly relaxing and rewarding. After a session, I love how much energy I can feel flowing around my body. The yoga trapeze is going to help me really launch my practice to the next level.

I (completely for real) didn’t even realize all of the sexual implications that having a yoga trapeze in my bedroom would provide.

Since some of you may not know what a yoga trapeze is I wanted to provide you with a visual aid. Here is a Pornhub Amateur clip from Ciren Verde to show you all the fun that I’m going to be getting up to as I experiment with this new toy.

So far, my stretching game has been upped like crazy. My hips are opening up and I’m able to spread my thighs wider than I have in years. The best part for me though is probably the inversions.

When I flip myself upside down and all the blood rushes to my head, my entire back cracks from the base of my spine all the way up to my neck. When you’re using the trapeze, your legs and the silk material are actually what hold you up…so zero hands are necessary to keep my body inverted. That is what is going to make sex fun in this thing.

My initial thought is that 69ing is going to be fun again. Can you imagine just standing up in front of your partner, and their genitals are eye level for you to feast on? It’s like a dream come true for me. No more feeling smothered by bodies or worried about not getting enough oxygen! As long as I can figure out a way to keep myself inverted for a lengthy period of time (say…5-7 minutes?) it should be totally doable.

What do you Peepz think about my yoga trapeze? If you had access to one, what would be the first position you’d try out? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with your filthy thoughts.

Image: in Aerial Downward Doggie Style by Brazzers

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Bend Over in Dover

I will forever shout from the rooftops the need to support your local adult video stores. At this point in time, Online shopping has made them few and far between in my neck of the woods. I learned so much about myself, my sexuality and the needs and wants of other people when I worked at the shop.

Listen, I totally get that the need to buy porno DVDs and VHS tapes has gone the way of the Dodo. While I don’t mind popping one of my favorite scenes into my DVD player to unwind at the end of the night, I also understand taht it’s so much more convenient to seek out your favorite pornstar’s newest scene one of a Spending your money on sex toys is always a good investment in my eyes though.

A brand spanking new romantic boutique in Dover, Delaware is causing a stir in their community. The towns folk aren’t into having a sex shop in town…particularly because of its name.

The Bendover Romantic Superstore has my vote for Best Sex Shop Name I’ve Heard in the Last Few Years.

I mean, it’s fucking genius.

A sex shop called Bendover that is located in the city of Dover.

Yes to all of that.

Once people started calling townhall to complain about the fact that vibrator wielding heathens were going to be coming to town, a few investigations started. Unfortunately, this lead to the Kent County Department of Planning Services to issue a stop work order because renovations were being done on the inside without a building permit.

Make sure your papers are in order before you start doing any kind of construction work, Peepz. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being a homeowner, it’s that. You don’t want to start fucking around with tools and busting out walls if the town doesn’t know about it. They want their money…every single dime of it.

Damn the man, save the empire. They’re going to get paid one way or the other, so you may as well keep things on the up and up…especially if you’re going to start making noise because of your store name before you even get the doors open.

Source: Delaware State News

Image: Liza Del Sierra in Asstronomy by Brazzers

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Fap Along with Harlot: MOFOS

It’s my favorite time of the week, Peepz. I’m already naked in my office and raring to get down to business. For this week’s Fap Along, I figured I would pull clips from the MOFOS Pornhub channel.

MOFOS has an eclectic mix of Gonzo, threesomes, solo clips and everything in between. Because they are so versatile, you can easily get lost in a rabbit hole of fun.

I’m tired of typing and my fingers are itching to get sticky…so make sure you have your favorite jizz towel at the ready and let’s Fap!

Leda Bear , Sam Shock and Kiara Cole get intimate with each other in this first clip. The ladies split an orange and the juicy fruit drips all over their bodies before they get naked and make each other feel good.

Emma Evins gets super turned on while she’s training for a race. She’s exhausted and wants to stop running but her boyfriend thinks that he needs to push her to keep going. In order to distract him, she takes him into the bathroom so they can fuck. If you listen closely, you’ll hear other people coming and going from the facilities.

When your relationship ends because your partner cheated on you, sometimes it’s best to go find yourself a quick rebound fuck to get your game straight. Scarlett Fall does just that. Peter Green gets his meaty paws on her ass and doesn’t let go till he’s cumming all over the place.

Angela Somers knows that she doesn’t have to wait for anyone else to cum to the party in order for her to get off. She’s in her kitchen, wearing a smoking hot dress and decides to reach for her trusty vibrator to make herself cum before dinner.

A little bit of PDA never hurt anyone, right? I’m loving the idea of fucking on public transport while no one is paying attention to a single thing that you are doing. Oh, and there’s anal in this one too.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. I hope you’ve made as much of a mess as I have. If you’d like a Fap Along post of your very own, let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Image: MOFOS

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The Great American Orgasm

What if you walked outside your house on a clear spring day and you suddenly heard moans of pleasure coming from inside every one of the open windows in your neighborhood? What if there was a way to get all of the horny people to cum at the exact same time? I would totally feel slighted for not being let in on the party…and that is exactly what happened on July 4th.

My ex-wife got a package in the mail the other day. It was a regular manilla envelope and there was definitely something slightly long and round inside. It totally felt like a vibrator, so when she got home I started ribbing her.

“Your vibrator arrived,”

“It CAME???”

I was totally fucking around with her and didn’t think that the package was actually a vibrator, but we’re now living in 2020 COVID country, so anything is possible.

She explained to me that she took part in the Great American Orgasm and I was like…what the fuck is that? When did it happen and why didn’t you tell me?

We’re still figuring out the dynamics of our relationship but it’s getting better, I swear…even though she doesn’t bother telling me that there is something called The Great American Orgasm going on.

On July 4, 2020 at exactly 4:20 PM over 4,000 people across the U.S. of A came together at the same time.

I love the idea of this, but hate the fact that I didn’t find out about it until it was too late.

A store called Erotique in Bozeman, Montana decided that July 4th was the perfect day to celebrate sexual pleasure. The started recruiting people on instagram to join in the fun and take a pledge to cum at the exact moment in time together. There doesn’t seem to be any mention of time zones anywhere, so it was actually like a four hour stint of orgasming that started on the East Coast and worked it’s way to the West Coast.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Great American Orgasm! (@greatamericanorgasm) on Jun 26, 2020 at 10:16am PDT

So. Many. Orgasms!

Only 1776 participants were able to snag the limited edition free vibrators and my ex was one of the lucky ones as you can tell from the header image.

While I definitely wasn’t cumming at 4:20 in the afternoon on July 4th, I did have a pretty intense solo session that evening, so I really can’t complain. Free vibrators are hella awesome though. It’ll make a good edition to her collection, I’m sure.

What do you Peepz think about everyone in your country cumming at the same time? Is having a communal orgasm something that you’d be interested in doing or would you rather keep your splooge to yourself? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with your thoughts.

Source: The Great American Orgasm

Image: Harlot’s Private Stash

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Fantasy Writers in Overdrive

Creativity is a very hard thing to drum up on command sometimes. If you’re a diligent writer like Neil Gaiman or Stephen King, you can churn out a few books a year. For some of us though, it’s a struggle to get the bare minimum written, especially during times of stress.

The pandemic has people craving normalcy. Everyone is hunting around on the Internet for some type of distraction while still keeping tabs on what’s happening in the world around them. When the world is out of control around you, sometimes all you can do is make a situation for yourself where art imitates life.

Enter: Corona Erotica…because Rule 34 will always exist.

I’d honestly be disappointed if no one did it.

How can you possibly make the pandemic sexy though?

Literotica, the homebase for thousands of Erotica writers on the Internet, decided to base their monthly contest around written pandemic content. I’m here for this. I’m here for creativity flowing in the face of disaster and seeing what happens on the other side.

Ian Snow, a Literotica writer who entered the contest, was quoted in the article linked below as saying:

I don’t think there’s anything explicitly sexy about the pandemic itself, but any extreme situation is going to bring about fascinating experiences to explore in terms of sexuality. Add in isolation, boredom, and plain physical need to the mix, and you’ve got a recipe for some pretty hot stories.

Totally makes sense to me.

I was furloughed from my day job for 32 blissful days. My privilege is totally apparently in that sentence, but it’s true. In those 32 days, I opted to focus on things that I had let slide…like my very own personal writing.

I’ve been writing about sex and sexuality and all things perverse for Peeperz for over a thousand posts now. That’s a very long time to focus most of my creative energy on sex. During my time off from work, I decided to refocus on writing Sci-Fi type stuff. Of course, I ended up slipping in an anti-gravity sex scene or two that will probably end up hitting the cutting room floor my 2nd or 3rd go round with editing…but whatever. You can’t take the perv out of the pervert, right?

Here’s a Pornhub clip featuring Rebecca Volpetti getting frisky during quarantine. Nothing like a little masturbation to remind us all that self love is the safest, best love

What do you Peepz think about COVID time Erotica? Are you interested in seeing porno with masks and gloves dealing with homebound, working from home scenarios? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with your fantasies.

Source: The Guardian

Image: Nekane Sweet in Take Notes by Brazzers

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Philadelphia Sex Workers Get Paid

If you’ve been paying any attention to the sex worker industry over the past few months, you’ll note that there are some considerable changes. Platforms where adult performers and the like are able to spread their wings and shoot solo content have become the only way that many can make a living. With shoots shut down and unemployment not being an option for many, you have to make money where you can.

Sex workers in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania can count themselves in a slightly better position than most in similar positions though, thanks to two charitable organizations, Philadelphia Red Umbrella Alliance and Project SAFE.

These two charities put their money where there mouth is and help women, non-binary, gender non-conforming, and trans people in Philadelphia’s sex trade get a leg up when they need it.

Pennsylvania released a guide to sex during quarantine like many other places around the world did. Here is what they suggest:

• Masturbation will not spread COVID-19; this is your safest option. It’s still important to practice hand hygiene by washing your hands with soap and water for 20 seconds before and after (sing Happy Birthday twice). It’s also important to wash any sex toys with soap and water.
• The next safest option for a sex partner is someone who lives with you. Avoid having sex with anyone outside your household.
• At this time, it is still important to stay home and practice social distancing. If you do have sex with other people outside your household, limit the number of your sex partners.
• If you usually meet your sex partners online or make a living by having sex, consider taking a break from in-person dates. Get creative! Video dates, sexting or chat rooms may be safe and sexy options for you.
  • If you are a sex worker and continue to have dates, we recommend:
    • Screening your clients for symptoms.
    • If your date presents with symptoms, you are taking a risk continuing the date.
    • Cleaning/disinfecting your workspace thoroughly and after each date.
    • Shower thoroughly after each client and change clothes.
  • Washing up before and after sex is more important than ever. Wash hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds.

The stigma surrounding sex work is something that is ingrained into society. While moves are always being made to slowly deconstruct those ideals, there is a very long road ahead until sex workers are given the same help and aid that “civilians” in society are.

If you have some extra cash on hand and are looking to donate to either
Philadelphia Red Umbrella Alliance or Project SAFE, please do. Sex workers are essential to so many of us and it’s time for us to support them whenever we can.

Source: Billy Penn

Image: Bonnie Rotten in Best of Brazzers: Squirt Fest by Brazzers

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Fap Along With Harlot: Seeing Red

To say that my week has been challenging would be an understatement. I’m feeling a bit feisty so I’m going back through my mental spank bank to try and think about sexier times.

You know who I miss in theory but not in practice? My Amazonian Redheaded Ex. She was SO much fun in bed…an amazingly tall BBW woman who knew exactly what she wanted out of life. Together though? We were like a negative chemical reaction.

I’ll still day dream about her from time to time though, and that’s why I ended up over on Pornhub grazing my way through their Redhead category. If you’re a fan of ginger ladies, this Fap Along is for you. Silky skin, flaming hair and all the sass you can possibly handle. Are you ready for this? I suggest grabbing a jizz towel because you’re in for a wild, messy ride. Let’s Fap!

Molly Stewart is in charge when Jade Baker comes over for a study session. Jade gets down on her knees under the table to lick the slippery slit that Molly has hiding underneath her very tiny panties.

It seems as though Siri really loves working out while her tits are bouncing all over the place. There’s an 80s Jane Fonda vibe in this clip that I’m totally here for, but what really got me was the whole masturbating on a trampoline thing.

The redhead in this next Fake Taxi clip has some of the best natural tits you’ll ever see. She’s gorgeous and looking for a bit of money in exchange for flashing the camera and getting her body stuffed with dick.

When the spark in your relationship fades away, sometimes the only thing you can do is reinvent your own sexual pleasure. Willowy sin and sexy lingerie are the icing on the cake of this Nubile Films video.

I’m obviously a fan of Maitland Ward and everything her career has included. She’s the right mix of sexy, cheeky and smart that pushes all my buttons. When you watch what she does with the massive BBC in this clip, you’re going to fall in lust with her too.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. I hope your craving for some spicy Ginger is satisfied. If you’d like a Fap Along list of your very own, hit me up in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with your requests.

Image: Ella Hughes in Shy Redheads Want Anal by Brazzers

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Sexy Things from the 70s

Confessions time, Peepz. I had a quarantine romance. Please note the past tense. It was some of the best sex I’ve ever had in my life but it’s over now and that’s OK. I tweeted earlier this week that red flags are still red flags, even if they are decorated with glitter.

One of the good things that came out of my short lived sexcapade was the fact that she gave me an amazing treasure. While she was going through some boxes of crap at her parent’s place last week, she came across an Evelyn Rainbird Catalog from 1976. This catalog is filled with some vintage pervert gold.

From what I can gather, Evelyn Rainbird Ltd was an erotic toy distributor out of New York and New Jersey in the 1970s. The company sold everything from socks for your dick to classy gold and silver jewelry pieces with a slightly perverse twist. The catalog sells everything that you would expect a sexual aid company to sell…only with a lot more bush.

Right from jump, you know you’re in for more pubic hair than you are used to seeing. The cover of this catalog features a nude model wearing a sheer nightgown with all of her glorious bush exposed to the masses. Can we bring back bush like that? I’m totally here for it. There’s nothing that makes me happier than discovering that a new lover keeps their hair long.

That’s an epic way to start off this adventure, don’t you think? The picture makes a bold statement about the fact that this catalogue is going to have a little something for everyone’s kinky side, especially if they are bold enough to turn all the pages.

Buying pornographic films via catalog is an ancient pass time that I only had the need to partake in for a year or two. Once I got acclimated with the folks at my friendly neighborhood video store, I was no longer ashamed to park my car out front of the shop so that I could browse. Even so, it seems that people’s tastes don’t always deviate too much…except when it comes to Super 8 film.

Cock cages and contraptions like pumps and strap-on devices have been around for hundreds of years. One thing that is glaringly obvious about the toys on this page is that people are way more concerned about comfort now than they used to be. The rough edges on that pocket pussy make my fingers chafe just thinking about it.

The flappy dick faux leather codpiece in this next shot makes me thankful for technology. Fitting a curved dick into that duckbill looking pocket was probably a feat of nature. Can we discuss how someone properly cleans something like that? Seems like a germy cesspool waiting to happen.

More BDSM fun for the ladies? I love a good set of ties, though that garter belt seems like it needs to be broken in for a few more days before you try to wear it to a party. Scratchy, hard leather clothing is the worst. Also, I stan that bush.

Throughout the catalog there are pinup style cheesecake images of hot women in compromising positions with flowery quotes. This is one of my favorites because you can just make out the fuzzy muff of hair, but I also want to scream at the woman in the picture, “PLEASE DO NOT PUT THAT PENIS SHAPED SOAP INSIDE YOUR BODY IN ANY HOLE! IT’S NOT GOOD FOR YOUR BODY’S PH!” Instead though, I’ll just let you Peepz know that vaginas are self-cleaning body parts of wonderment and you really shouldn’t be touching them with soap…just water.

I could literally show you every single page from this catalog but I’ll save some of the goodies for myself and people who get to see me in person. If my newest ex asks for it back, I’ll definitely drop it into the mail for her, but otherwise this treasure is straight up being treasured for as long as I have it in my posession.

Images: Evelyn Rainbird Catalogue 1976 photographed by Pat Hill

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Sex Scenes Blown Up

The global pandemic has everyone in Hollywood putting on their thinking caps and trying to be creative. Social distancing guidelines make it harder to transmit the Coronia Virus, but they make it very difficult to get cheeky on screen. CBS soap opera The Bold and the Beautiful has found a way to film sexy encounters and it’s basically a bag of hot air.

When you’re posed with a problem, you have to put on your thinking cap to solve it sometimes. The problem was, “How do we film sex scenes when our actors can’t be within 6 feet of each other?” The creative team at The Bold and the Beautiful has opted to pull some old blow up dolls out of storage to stand in for actors when they can’t be close.

Now, I know what you’re thinking…How realistic can these blow up dolls even be?

The answer? Not very realistic at all.

Does it really matter though? Put some makeup and a wig on a pig and you’ve still got a pig. In times of crisis, you need to be an innovator, rather than a complainer. I’m not sure that the audience of The Bold and the Beautiful is looking for realism when it comes to their entertainment. Is it such a big deal that they are using large, inflatable sex toys for sex scenes?

In addition to that plan, staff also decided that the actors can use their actual, real life partners if the scene calls for better angles or moving bodies. The film editors on that show are going to need combat pay or something, but their skills are really going to be in overdrive. Both people in the scene would have to test negative for Covid-19 before they were allowed to participate. If no “stunt cock” is available, the actors are also going to be shooting kissing scenes solo.

Yup.

It’s going to be exactly like making out with yourself in a mirror when you were trying to figure out how to effectively make out.

What do you Peepz think about filming sex scenes this way? Do you think that it’s a waste of time to use blow-up dolls as a stand in when actors aren’t able to physically touch each other? Would you watch a show that you know used props for people? I think I’m going to watch a few of the new episodes of The Bold and the Beautiful so that I can take a shot every time I recognize a sex doll on camera.

Source: Indie Wire

Image: Kaylynn in I’ll Be Your Blow-Up Doll by Brazzers

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Sex Gets Deeper With THC

Marijuana is a wonder drug. It can help treat anything from mild anxiety to full blow panic attacks. Cancer patients can use it to help with both their pain and their appetites. You’ll never catch me talking negatively about how much consuming herb has affected my own life personally.

One of the things that I love to do is smoke right before I have sex with someone else. If I have any anxious feelings, they immediately disappear with my inhibitions. Some of the most creative fuck sessions in my life have happened when all parties involved were flying high after a few puffs.

A new study published in the journal Culture, Health & Sexuality seems to agree with my findings. Researchers interviewed 41 men from varying ages who do not identify as straight. Through lengthy interviews, they uncovered that the majority of those men said that use of herbal refreshments before fucking increased sexual pleasure along with lowering inhibitions and helping them feel less anxious.

The findings of the study were interesting. The researchers wrote:

The sexualized use of cannabis can help sexual and gender minority men overcome feelings of anxiety and shame resulting from internalized homophobia, biphobia and/or transphobia, so that they can more fully enjoy the sex they want.

I think that is a win for everyone involved. So many of you Peepz slip into my DMs on twitter hoping that I hold the secret for being wild and crazy in the bedroom. You have dreams about playing out the fantasies that are inside your head but are held back by the “What if’s?” that sneak up on you. If consuming pot in one way or another would help with that situation, would you do it?

What do you Peepz think about using marijuana for sexualized anxiety? Have you ever participated in sex while high? Let me know in the comments below or slide over to twitter and let me know how you feel privately.

Source: Insider

Image: Diamond Jackson in A Pot of Golden Dildos by Brazzers

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Does The Color Of Your Bedroom Affect Your Sex Life?

Everyone wants to improve their sex life, but exercising and eating properly is really hard. If only there was something really easy you could do to increase the amount of sex you have without making any drastic or effort consuming life changes. Travelodge has your back!

A while back, the kingpin of hotels conducted a survey in the United Kingdom to figure out how the color of the bedroom affects one’s life. What they found out is people with caramel colored bedrooms were the most likely to engage in sexual activities while people with red bedrooms were found to be the least likely.

Apparently Travelodge wants to figure out what color to paint their rooms to customer satisfaction. According to interior designer Francis Whitley:

“Room color does influence your mood and set the tone for your living environment. Therefore, it’s important to choose a bedroom décor that will help you relax and induce sleep. [Guests] are no longer happy with everything being the same color.”

They could also be trying to increase the number of vacation babies being born.

Contrary to what porn would have us to believe, bedrooms aren’t just for having sex and bad acting. If you want to sleep more, try painting your bedroom blue.

Should you be one of the few people who sleeps too much then the color purple might help. It’s noted as being tied with the artistic community and is considered to be a color that stimulates creativity and the unconscious mind, resulting in less sleep and more, well, whatever the fuck you do.

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