I went to a university conference the other day about sexual assault and at one point the speaker started pulling porn stats – you know the ones where the Internet is something like 96% porn and that porn is 93% violent against women or something like that, I don’t remember the exact numbers – and I started feeling guilty.
Guilty that my job somehow contributes to violence against women, but then the speaker continued on to say that porn is bad because there’s no counterpoint, there’s no intimacy in porn… and then I remembered: Wait a fucking minute, you clearly haven’t spent a lot of time watching porn, because there’s feminist porn, there’s intimate porn, there’s married porn, there’s all sorts of freaking porn.
The counterpoint is there! I wanted to tell the speaker all this, but unfortunately there was no talk back.
The Art of the Affair: An Illustrated History of Love, Sex, and Artistic Influence, a new short book written by novelist Catherine Lacey and illustrated by artist Forsyth Harmon, encourages the impulse toward this nostalgia. In it, Lacey and Harmon compile “an illustrated history of love, sex, and artistic influence” into neat snippets about the connections shared among a smattering of 20th-century artists, writers, musicians, and the like. There are the usual suspects—Picasso, Hemingway, Frida Kahlo, Anaïs Nin, Henry Miller—as well as lesser-known figures like Romaine Brooks, Léonard Tsuguharu Foujita, and Beauford Delaney, all of whom Lacey says she only discovered while researching the book. (Notably absent are the Bloomsbury Group and Virginia Woolf, whose love letters with Vita Sackville-West are just as much fodder for wistful literary history blog posts as the stories of Miller and Nin or de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre.)
And this comes as a surprise to absolutely no one.
Although, I find it kind of hilarious that Basquiat made Madonna give back the paintings he had given her and painted them black. You know that relationship didn’t go well.
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The OhRoma VR Mask Is Out To Scent Your Porn (Refinery29)
CamSoda developed the OhRoma and told CNET that the mask is compatible with the two most popular VR headsets, the Oculus Rift and the HTC Vive. To use the OhRoma, you just insert a few cartridges — the mask holds up to three at a time — and control the scent via Bluetooth tech and a phone app. Imagine the scent of freshly baked Funfetti cake when you pull up your sploshing vids. Maybe you’re into the smell of perfume and power suits when you’re opting for some ’90s throwback Color Me Badd-inspired porn. CamSoda claims that the available scents are “proven to excite, arouse and, ultimately, climax.” What’s on the menu? Body odor, panties, the vague “fragrances,” and a slew of other options. With 30 in total, you can scent just about every situation and give your porn that extra layer of realism.
A virtual reality porn mask with an aroma function? What could possibly go wrong?
Despite the fact that I am emotionally—as well as physically—quite vulnerable and that my surrogate and I have a connection, I try not to let my emotions cloud my view on reality. These intimate sessions simulate an experience, but I know they aren’t the “real thing,” so to speak. The sex surrogate is very professional and makes me feel special in the few hours I am in her company, but it is important for me to guard my feelings, to keep from getting too close. Always I have to bring myself back to reality and see things for what they are: I am her client and she is providing a paid service.
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Still, I have no regrets about my decision to hire a sex surrogate. It’s not for everyone, but seeing a sex surrogate has helped to boost my confidence and given me an avenue to explore my sexuality in a safe space, to become more comfortable in my own skin, and to practice for when it does matter. If you are thinking of a sexual surrogacy service, I recommend that you don’t just rush into it. Instead, inform yourself by doing your own research and make a decision based on your own personal comfort level. It will be worth the wait, I promise.
Interesting read. Still not sure how hiring a sex surrogate differs from hiring an escort? For the record, I don’t see anything wrong with either.
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