Hump Day, GIF Day: Lady Fyre Gets You Through The Week

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Anastasiya Scheglova Has Cured Cancer With Her Tits

Anastasiya Scheglova has cured all the cancer with her magnificent tits, even breast cancer. I know, I know, that’s a pretty grand statement, but I’m pretty sure cancer is caused by anger and all other sorts of negative emotions. And that’s a FACT. Okay, maybe not a fact, but rather a half-baked idea. Okay, maybe not a half-baked idea, but rather filler for this post.

So, right, cancer! Cancer is caused by repressed negative emotions and there’s no way you can hold on to all that repressed negativity when you look upon Anastasiya’s tits. There’s just no way. All that anger, resentment, and bitterness just evaporates. Her nipples are basically negativity seeking missiles. Ppptttsshhhhewwwwww. (That’s what a missile sounds like.)

And once all the negativity evaporates say bye-bye to cancer. FACT.

I’ve encountered cancer curing boobs once before. I was playing truth or dare with a couple of my friends (it was a simpler time) and I dared one of my friends to step outside on the balcony, flash her boobs, and press her tits against the window on the door. It was a magical moment that I will cherish forever.

Also, it was a moment that made me realize that large boobs can indeed be super perky and round even au naturel. I forgot that lesson after a few years of working at Peeperz. I’ve seen so many fake boobs over the years, big fake Barbie boobs and fake boobs so subtle it’s impossible to tell what’s real and what’s fake anymore.

I give up trying to figure it all out and I’m just accepting the fact that all boobs are great! Especially these ones.

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Jessie Kenner Is An All Girls Camping Fantasy Trip Come True

As I’m writing this I have a million and one of tabs open on my computer trying to find the best camping spot for me and three of my girlfriends. We’ve been trying to make this camping trip happen for a little over a decade, but nothing has ever materialized. In the past I’be been afraid to take over the planning for fear of being seen as “bossy.”

Fuck that noise, I say. I’m going to be bossy as hell. I’m going to research camping sites and make this ish happen whether they like it or not. Enough is enough. I’m taking control, baby.

There’s just one problem, though. I don’t have a tent.

Actually, the more I research this thing the more I realize you have to bring a lot of gear with you when you’re going camping. You need a tent, an inflatable mattress, a sleeping bag, a pillow, a cooler, food that will not spoil in said cooler, a gas cooking stove, things to eat with (what?), LOTS OF FRESH DRINKING WATER, some fold out chairs probably, fire starter instruments, a compass maybe. Am I forgetting something? I feel like I’m forgetting something important.

Toilet paper. Yup, definitely going to need toilet paper.

When I first started thinking of this camping thing, I just imagined myself prancing through the forest in a flowing white top trying to find a nice patch of moss where I could tinkle, but nope, the reality is that you have to trudge along a shovel with you to bury your poop and you’ll most likely have an ass covered in mosquito bites by the end of day one of your trip.

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Via itr2010.org – Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd

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Where, Oh Where Has Harlot Been?

Hey there Peepz!!
I took a little sabbatical from writing for Peeperz (and doing most things in real life and online actually) because my big huge to-do wedding was at the beginning of May!

I’m not going to get into all the crafty details, because I know that most of you are here for the sexy times and not for my Martha Stewart impression…but I made every.single.thing. that could possibly be made. Over 900 paper roses out of book pages, hand fasting cords, centerpieces, table runners, boutineers and bouquets…ALL THE THINGS!!!!!

Making a wedding happen DIY style (and even not DIY, I imagine) is an all encompassing hobby that took up every second that I was not working in my office…and even some sneaky down time when I was in my office and could do word processing wedding stuff…like printing 150 names and B.S. like that.

If you’re a long-time Peeperz reader who remembers random sentences I’ve written, you may be saying to yourself, “Didn’t you already get married in December Harlot? What’s with the two weddings?”

We technically did get married in December. All the paperwork was signed way before the current President of the United States took office. We weren’t sure what was going to happen and my wife and I decided to be proactive about making it legal so we signed all the necessary paperwork but kept our originally May wedding date in place.

Smart thinking, right?

Anyway, the wedding was amazing. I’ve shared pics of it on twitter so you can give a click and head over there to scroll through my timeline for the goodies.

In the meantime, if you forgot how hot my wife and I are together, I suggest you pull out your favorite jizz sock and check out these two clips of us that are posted on my Xtube page. There’s actually more on my other Xtube page that you can pay to see…but these will give you enough of a taste to get you going and partially experience my bliss.

Lesbians Making Out powered by XTube

How hot is my wife??? Seriously guys. Sex was awesome pre-marriage, but I feel like now that we’re in it for the long haul, it’s just amped up our passion.

Lesbian Teaser powered by XTube

So yeah…That’s where I’ve been for the past two months…buried deep inside my babe’s heart and I’m not going to be coming down from this high for a good long while, me thinks.

Thanks for everyone who asked where I was and checked in on me during my hiatus.

I’m back bitches!!! It’s time to get naked and party!

Image: From Harlot’s private stash (and yes, those are pizza hearts and tacos on our fancy jackets)

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Monday Morning Jerk Before Work: Have You Met Ava Dalush?

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