Don’t Ask Your Wife About Your Penis If Your Afraid Of The Answer

So many dipshits so little time.

Dominique Flower was arrested for striking his wife in the face outside of their Florida home. Allegedly, Flower’s asked her if his dick was bigger than the dicks of her ex boyfriends and wasn’t pleased with the answer. We’re guessing the answer was no, because in my experience people don’t go around getting mad at people who praise their big cocks.

Now, I know a lot of guys are sensitive about the size of their dicks, but that’s not a good enough reason to hit someone in the face. A slap on the ass maybe, but a slap in the face is always uncalled for unless you’re Batman trying to teach Robin a lesson.

I’m glad Flower was arrested, I just don’t understand why he was released.

According to his rap sheet, Flower has been arrested multiple times for marijuana possession, failure to appear in court, driving with a revoked license, and domestic battery. I don’t care about the other stuff, but you’d think that someone who has multiple domestic battery collars wouldn’t still be walking around free as a bird.

Reports say that Flower was released on his own recognizance after being booked into the county jail on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge, which leaves me with two very important questions: 1. Why is domestic battery a misdemeanor? 2. Why does the justice system take it easy on dude’s with small peens?

 

No one knows, Philip J. Fry. No one knows.

thesmokinggun.com – Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd

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Masturbation Roll

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Fap Along With Harlot: What Goes Where?!

I love a nicely stretched hole. There are a lot of things that make my pussy drip like crazy, but watching a large object fit into a tiny space is up there in my Top 5 ways to make me wet. I’m home from work today and, since it’s too hot to go outside, I’ve decided to stay in and get myself off all day long. I think you should do the same.

Are you ready to fap along with me? Just make sure you have your lube close by so that you don’t rub yourself raw.

I don’t think I’d be doing this subject any justice if I didn’t include a clip from the PornHub channel of Anal Acrobats. Jayda Diamonde does some practice all by herself with one of the largest dildos you’ll ever see. After she preps her asshole, Sean Michaels swoops in with his massive dick that’s hungry for pink.

It takes two hands and one wide-open mouth to make this large dick happy. The spanks are loud and When this petite brunette goes fro a ride, her puckered butthole tells me that she wants every inch in every, single hole.

After a hard day’s work, is there anything better than coming home to some oral sex? Me thinks not! In this Porn Pros clip, Cadence Carter gets down on her knees and looks up at her fuck buddy with her big brown eyes. Watching her swallow his thick dick makes me wish I had some cock around the house to suck on.

Ariana Marie has her eyes set on the large cock of her bff’s brother in this next Brazzers vid. When she stats to dirty talk about how good his dick feels, I dare you not to splooge all over yourself.

Fists were made for fuck holes…am I right, or am I right? For the fap-tastic finale this week, I’ve got two delicious brunettes ho explore each other with some cunt punches straight to orgasm town. I’m so into everything about this clip.

That’s it for this week Peepz! Don’t forget to clean up all the evidence of the good time we just had together.

See you next week!

Image: Cody Lane in The Big Dick Agency by Brazzers

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Cleveland, The GOP & Porn Traffic

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Porn Is Now Off The Menu At Starbucks And Mcdonald’s

A few years ago we read about Starbucks taking a stand against concerned crybabies who wanted them to filter internet access in their cafes. The coffee giant decided their patrons were free to do whatever they wanted on the internet so long as it wasn’t illegal, and parents were equally free to parent their own children.

It was a victory for everyone who likes to look at a dick or two with their morning cuppa.

Whether they were protecting people’s freedoms or just being too lazy to implement a nationwide policy, we appreciated Starbucks’ respect for our digital rights- at least up until right now.

Under pressure from anti-porn groups like Enough is Enough and the National Center on Sexual Exploitation, McDonald’s and Starbucks have agreed to filter pornography from the free Wi-Fi in all of their restaurants. The activist groups involved hope the move will help protect children and families from being exposed to sexual content and other cool things on the internet.

According to the National Center of Sexual Exploitation boring restaurants like Panera and Chick-fil-A already block porn on their Wi-Fi. Organizations like this consider the move by McDonald’s and Starbucks to be another victory in the fight against, uh, people seeing a sexual image when they don’t want to.

We saw a similar move by city planners in New York City who filtered porn from free Wi-Fi terminals in Times Square to thwart horny homeless men from browsing erotic content. They felt it wasn’t good for the children of tourists and locals to see people without homes browsing porn in broad daylight.

However, while public porn browsing was a problem in New York, we don’t really know if it was an ongoing problem that warranted action by Starbucks. I never heard about it until these people brought it up and I search for porn news every day- nobody gets aroused in a news worthy way without me finding out.

Sexual exploitation is a horrible thing and it would be impossible to argue against any measure that can stop it. That being said, forcing fast food restaurants to ban porn doesn’t really solve a problem and is simply a knee jerk reaction by a group who took it upon themselves to police other people’s morals.

C’est la vie.

While McDonalds may be implementing their ban immediately, Starbucks is taking time to make sure a proper filter is used that doesn’t accidentally block content that doesn’t need to be blocked. As a blogger for an adult website who has at one time worked from a coffee shop, I appreciate their effort.

What’s porn to one person may be another’s bread and butter.

Image: Samantha Saint in Cup of Ho by Brazzers

Via abcnews.go.com

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Throwback Thursday Nudity Edition: Amber Flowers (2014)

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Last Week On Insta: Tessa Kugari, Sheri Chiu, Lais Ribeiro & +++

Hump Day, GIF Day: Samantha Saint Gets You Through The Week

Samantha Saint had what I call the All-American introduction to porn, she started off doing glamour shots for Suze Randall and Holly Randall. Then for a while she tried her hand at solo scenes and girl/girl scenes. When that went well she graduate to a bigger payday with dick scenes. Samantha’s first girl/boy scene was for Twistys where she became Twistys treat of the month for February, 2011. In 2012, she signed an exclusive contract with Wicked, because she wanted to work for a company that would do a good job promoting her and she chose Wicked due to their condom-only policy.

From then on it was fame and more fame for Samantha Saint in the porn industry. People were putting her on “Top 10 Most Popular Current Female Porn Stars” and “100 Most Mind-Numbingly Hot Women of 2012“ lists left and right. She’s been nominated for so many awards, I’m not even going to start listing them here.

Samantha Saint isn’t officially retired, but she has considerably slowed down when it comes to shooting new scenes in the last couple years. Is it because she’s married? Is it because she’s been in the industry for a few years now and just wants to slow down? Is it because of the Nanula scandal? Who knows, but fans sure like to speculate.

20.

It’s so hot.

19.

I’m dying.

18.

No, literally.

17.

The weather is so goddamn hot right now.

16.

And I don’t have air conditioning.

15.

I might die of heatstroke or something.

14.

Definitely something.

13.

I should just take a cold shower.

12.

How do old people in Florida survive this?

11.

I think I might move to Alaska.

10.

Or the Yukon.

9.

Somewhere where the heat can’t get me anymore.

8.

Sitting with a hot laptop on my lap is not helping.

7.

Samantha Saint isn’t helping either.

6.

It’s just.

5.

So damn.

4.

Hot.

3.

I.

2.

Might.

1.

Die.

P.S. I applaud anyone who can actually masturbate in this weather.

Check out this video of Samantha Saint courtesy of Pornhub:

Via pornhub.com – Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd

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Sex News: Porn In Prison, Hustlers Not Whores, Old Hollywood ✂

• How Prison Inmates Get Porn (Vice)

In many prisons, the most valuable commodity is not tobacco or even hard drugs, but smut. Not everyone gets high or smokes, but every inmate jerks off, out of loneliness or horniness or sheer boredom. During my 21 years of incarceration in America, the one thing that I missed more than anything else was the company of a woman, especially as I had no conjugal visits while in the feds.

The most common form of porn that’s circulated in prison is photocopied smut magazines, though modeling magazines that don’t have nudity are also popular. Often, actual hardcore porn mags are smuggled in by correctional officers looking to make some extra money. If you have a magazine in its entirety, it can be hawked to other inmates for upwards of $200, depending on what condition it’s in. The owners then make copies and resell them in black-and-white for $20 a pop. Copies (e.g. copies of copies) of spreads or certain pin-ups are then sold for a stamp a page, and prisoners often trade when they get bored of “their girls.”

Whaaa- You mean prison libraries are filled to the brim with porn mags? How sad.

• Every day we’re hustling: Why we love “hustlers” — but not “whores” (Salon)

We seem to be in the golden age of hustlers. From tech bros to politicians, everyone’s a hustler these days. The infamous hustle is sprinkled across social media bios, WIRED headlines, and marketing campaigns. WeWork’s office wallpaper is dotted with “the hustle.” This is the same office that houses the self-proclaimed “Voice of Hustlers” (I know this, because I’m co-founder of that company). Chevrolet ran a #FuelYourHustle campaign in April, and even FLOTUS be hustlin’ at SXSW.

Simply put, a hustler is someone who knows how to get shit done. But in the past, a hustler was most often a male sex worker, or anyone (usually a man) who’s a bit of a swindler.

One could say “hustler” bears some semblance to the feminized “whore,” another word loaded with connotations around money, fornication and unsavory business practices. Except, while we’ve been socially conditioned to want to be hustlers, we’re wildly uncomfortable being whores. Imagine if Forbes’ Andy Ellwood wrote articles about mastering the art and science of whoredom, as he does for hustle.

What’s your side hustle?

• Top 10 Most Sexually Prolific Lesbians and Bisexuals Of Old Hollywood (Autostraddle)

If you think celesbian gossip these days is crazy, you should’ve been alive like 100 years ago because DAMN these ladies were BUSY. Well, I mean, we’re pretty sure they were busy — it’s hard to know for certain in most of these cases, ’cause even if one woman claimed it happened, it’s likely the other swore it didn’t. But that hasn’t stopped historians from writing books like The Sewing Circle: Female Stars Who Loved Other Women, The Girls: Sappho Goes to Hollywood,Hollywood Lesbians, Full Service: My Adventures in Hollywood and the Secret Sex Lives of the Stars. Using those books and the internet, I made you this chart, and compiled the list beneath it. This chart is focused on actresses of the early 20th century — everybody on this chart is connected, somehow, to a member of “The Sewing Circle.”

So much quality scissoring.

Image: Shyla Stylez & Johnny Sins in New Meat In Jail by Brazzers

Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd

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Naked Ladies at the Republican National Convention

I kind of love it when I’m browsing around news sites on my down time at work and I come across the words:

Warning: This piece contains nudity and may be inappropriate for work environments.

To me, that means, turn my monitor slightly to the right so that I’m sure that no one can see what I’m seeing, and continue to scroll through the story.

Artist Spencer Turnick had a vision of what he wanted to create. He had a statement to make regarding how he believes the Republican Party of the United States views and dismisses women and minorities in ways that are unnatural and unnecessary.

His weapon is his camera and, instead of wielding it like a sword, he paints pictures that make people recognize the spirituality and magic that is within each person around the world.

For this project, Turnick assembled 100 naked ladies outside the Republican National Convention and gave them each a circular mirror. The bodies in the images are every imaginable shape and color. The artist’s website reads:

By holding mirrors, we hope to suggest that women are a reflection and embodiment of nature, the sun, the sky and the land. We want to express the belief that we will rely upon the strength, intuition and wisdom of progressive and enlightened women to find our place in nature and to regain the balance within it. The mirrors communicate that we are a reflection of ourselves, each other, and of, the world that surrounds us.

I fucking love this.

I love the idea of women being raised up and worshiped…I love the idea of nudity in public, especially for ART!

but I hate the idea that, there was a large group of naked women with mirrors assembled near the convention and I didn’t see a single story on the news about it.

It disappoints me.

I’ve been researching Turnick’s projects for the past few days and I’d absolutely love to take part in one.

What about you, Peepz?

Would you get naked with a large group of other people for a cause?

Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to wear sunscreen!

Follow the artist on twitter and instagram

Source: Huffington Post and Spencer Turnick’s website

Image: Spencer Turnick’s website

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Naked Couple Arrested For Having Sex In Front Of Their Kids

Some people shouldn’t have kids. Unfortunately, the right to conceive and reproduce is one of those things you just can’t take away from people, because then you run into problems like Republicans deciding to render the poor and what they consider “lower classes” sterile and barren.

So, so wrong. Still, when I hear stories like this,  I can’t help but wonder if we should require people to get a baby having license. It couldn’t hurt. It’s something to think about, because when cops show up to your house in response to an “unknown disturbance” they better not find you having drunken sex on your kitchen floor while your son- age 7 – and your three daughters – age 11, 5, and 3 – are crying and screaming, watching you go at it.

That’s just… *Hangs head*

Adis Negron, 29, and Elias Alicea, 39, where charged with open and gross lewdness for, you know, traumatizing their kids and will have to show up in court late-August for a pre-trial hearing. The pair who opted for a jury trial are facing a maximum of three years in a state prison.

I don’t think they should end up in jail, but at the same time: Damn, get your act together. At the time of her arrest, Negron was told that a report would be filed with child welfare and she responded: “Oh, it’s okay. They know who I am.”

Yeah… that’s never a good sign, those words should never have to be uttered. At least, this lovely couple is keeping child welfare workers in jobs. With another kid on the way at the time of the arrest, it means that one more case worker got it’s wings.

Via thesmokinggun.com – Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd

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Monday Morning Jerk Before Work: Have You Met Proxy Paige?

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Dick Lattes For Me Every Morning

London Artist Arrested For Letting Strangers Stroke Her Genitals

I… Well… Can I? I don’t… Not sure… Okay.

I need to read an artist statement, so I can process this into something I can more easily grasp. My brain is having a hard time. It might be because I’m distracted by the boobies.

Right, so… Milo Moiré is a Swiss model and artist who is known for using her body in a SHOCKING fashion in her art. Here you can see her during a performance of “Mirror Box” in London being fondled by strangers and ultimately being detained by police officers.

Art. And woman decide when they can be touched and when not. Feminism and stuff.

Female power and sexuality, which Milo like demonstrated though wearing a mirrored box over her boobs and her general downstairs area and like letting strangers stick their hands inside the boxes for a period of 30 seconds in which time they were like invited to stroke Milo’s genitals, because art.

I… Well… Can I? I don’t… Not sure… Okay.

All kidding aside, did she ask them to wash their hands first? The germaphobe in me is dying right now. I don’t care how many people she let’s into her box, whether it’s for art or funsies, but can we get some baby wipes and some antibacterial gel all over the place. ALL OVER.

In one of the pictures, I can see Milo spraying something into some dude’s hands and I’m praying it was some sort of miracle KILLER OF ALL COOTIES, because people are gross.

The only question I have left is, when is she coming to a city near me? Hehe. I say that, but I think if I had happened to be in the crowd that day I would have wavered between feeling really uncomfortable and wanting to participate. I probably would have given in to my urge to participate, but I definitely would have felt really uncomfortable about it.

I guess that’s the point, though, of this sort of performance art. You’re suppose to question the limits of sexuality and consent.

Click on images below for larger versions:

Via dazeddigital.com – Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd

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