I’m in a sex toy rut, Peepz. A few old faves had to be thrown out, because they broke (it’s a sad, sad day when you break a vibrator) and these days I’m mostly relying on my Faux-tachi. It works and it works well, but it’s kind of a one trick pony. Oh sure, it will give you strong and quick clitoral orgasms, but you can’t insert it and you’ve got only one basic large shape to work with.
Lola needs variety. Unfortunately, sex toys (good sex toys) are hella expensive, so all I do is dream. Dream about the day I can call one of these babies mine.
10. Mystic Wand
The Mystic Wand is similar to a Hitachi, except it’s smaller and cordless, which allows you to bring it with you even where there are no electrical outlets. Every sex toy reviewer raves about this thing. It’s a favorite across the board and I want it.
9. Pure Wand
I’m more of a clit gal, but I do like g-spot toys and the NJoy Pure Wand is the holy grail of g-spot toys. Women who had never had g-spot orgasms before buying this toy rave about it like mad. I want to try it so bad! Maybe it’s the key to unlocking the mysteries of my g-spot.
8. Womanizer
The Womanizer has a shitty name (sounds like the title to a Britney Spears song) and the color schems are horrible, but it’s pretty innovative. IT SUCKS YOUR CLIT, yo. A lot of reviewers were ready to hate this thing, but turns out it actually works and works well. Lola wants.
7. Doxy Don
The Doxy Don is a powerful plug-in anal vibrator that can also be used on your clit and vadge. Apparently, it has the best deep rumbly vibratrion.
6. Siri 2
Lelo’s waterproof, more rumbly clitoral vibe. It’s a keeper and I want it.
5. Life Leaf
In a sea of pink vibrators, I’m just excited that this thing is green. AND IT’S SHAPPED LIKE A LEAF. A leaf, people. A leaf. It’s interesting shape and color aside, it’s acutally pretty powerful.
4. Mona 2
One sex toy reviewer likes the Mona so much, she has multiples incase the break or they stop making them or something. It’s a g-spot vibe, but it can be used on your clit or however you like it.
3. Stronic Eins and/or Stronic Drei
The Stronic Eins is a pulsator. It doesn’t vibrate, it pulsates, which means it thrusts itself into your orifices all by itself. Hands free! I want it so bad.
The Stronic Drei is like the Stronic Eins except it looks like an alien tentacle penis. Plus it’s a cool blue color. WANT!
2. Big Boss
The Big Boss is the king of vibrators. It’s huge for when you’re got that need for some big D. It has a nice elegant shape. The handle makes it easy to use and it kind of makes me weak in the knees just thinking about.
1. Eroscillator
The Eroscillator is not a vibrator, nor is it a pulsator, it’s an oscillator. I can’t give you a detailed sciency explanation of what that means, but I can tell you that it makes for an interesting sensation that is unlike anything we’ve been used to until now. Also, it looks like an alien insect penis had a baby with an electric toothbrush. I’m gonna say it again. I WANT IT!
Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd
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