When I was in grade 5 my friend and I found a box of my brother’s condoms when we were riffling through his sock drawer, because that’s what you do when you’re a kid and you’re having a sleep over – you go through your brother’s stuff! We proceeded to destroy each and every condom in that box by trying to fit them over as many random objects as possible.
Nothing in the house was left untouched and everything came away slightly tainted by lube and smelling of powdered latex. I was able to fit one over my pink phone (old school…the thing was huge!). Right then and there, I learned a lesson that would serve me well later on in life.
When you’re about to get down and dirty with some douchebro and he tries to pull a fast one by telling you “Baby, I can’t wear a rubber ’cause my dick is too big” you can kick is lying ass out of bed, because there’s no way that’s true. Sure, there are condoms that are a better fit than others and no one ever said they were the most comfortable things to wear, but there’s no way your dick is too big for condoms. Here’s why:
5. This
I haven’t made condom balloons in a long time, but I’m always impressed by their stretch and give.
4. And This
Definite proof.
3. Definitely This
Pretty sure I went to high school with this guy.
2. And This
Nice knee high sock.
1. Finally This
I doubt (and I hope) that you’re dick isn’t any bigger than your average English cucumber and if this lady can comfortably fit a condom over a cucumber you can fit it over your dick.
The other thing I learned that night is that you shouldn’t destroy your brother’s brand new box of condoms, because he will definitely force you to count all your pennies and go buy him a new box even though you’re ten years old and the prospect is mortifying.
Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd
The post Top 5: Reasons Why Your Dick Isn’t Too Big For Condoms appeared first on Peeperz.
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