Fap Along With Harlot: High on Heels

Happy Sunday, my Peepz! This week’s project at Harlot’s House was organizing my closet. While I was going through all of my stuff, I rediscovered my extensive shoe collection and bought a fancy rack so that every pair has a home.

I put on a pair of stockings and tried on every single shoe in my collection. The way my calves pop and my back straightens out when I’m wearing heels makes me feel so incredibly sexy.

For this week’s Fap Along, I decided to pull five clips with pornstars in high heels to make us all crave a little bit of extra physical attention. Are you ready? Grab your favorite jizz towel and let’s fap!

I love a good make out session. Ginebra Bellucci gets down on her knees for a massive cock and we don’t even see her feet until she is getting plowed. I love the way she looks into his eyes when he hits just the right spot in her pussy.

In this Property Sex clip we get a glimpse of the fire engine red heels that Aidra Fox is rocking right before she gets fucked. She tours the house and then gets the deal of a lifetime while she’s on her back.

Slight disclaimer, I watched this next clip 3 times before I even touched my keyboard. It had me cumming over and over, I hope it does the same for you. Things get kinky with handcuffs and a bit of anal…and you know that’s exactly what I crave.

Ava Knoxxx shows off all her tan lines while she is getting her back banged out on a black leather couch. She keeps her shoes and lingerie on, but exposes all of her naughty bits so that her fuck buddy can have a slice of that pussy pie.

Where have I been that I don’t have Chris Diamond’s dick on speed dial? He gets sucked off under a desk by a prissy school girl played by Nekane. She gets hit with a cane by the teacher as punishment, but that doesn’t stop that sassy tart from pulling her knees up to her ears so we can all see her high heels and fuck socks.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. I hope you made as much of a mess as I did. I’m going to go back to organizing my shoes and cleaning up after myself. If you’d like a Fap Along list of your very own, let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Image: Beau Diamond in Antique Road Blow by Brazzers

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I Love a Fat Pinup

One of my friends linked me to the website of Amy Pence Brown the other day. Amy describes herself as being a fat mom and activist. Her body positive message gets right at my heart and I wanted to share some of her images with my favorite Peepz. I think you’ll enjoy them as much as I did.

One of Amy’s projects is called, “Reviving Hilda.” I’ve been into the fiery red-headed pin up since high school, so of course I was going to gravitate towards this particular set of images. Hilda is a character drawn by
Duane Bryers in the 50s. She’s different than most other drawn pin-ups of the time because she’s beautifully curvy when most other characters were drawn waif thin.

The message of cheeky sexuality and coy naughtiness really comes through in both the original drawings and Amy’s photo recreations. Here are some of my favorites, but you can check out the rest on Amy’s website linked below.

If you know me and what I like, you’ll note that the below image involves my favorite part of a woman’s body, that crease where the hip stops and the butt cheek begins.

I’m into any picture that involves both books and boobs, obviously. I probably would have picked a different book though. Side boob forever.

Hilda’s hair is straight up fire in this one. I love the smug smirk on Amy’s face though. I think that Hilda looks like she’s doing something devilish while Amy looks like she’s about to make the ultimate indulgence.

I saved this one for last because I like it the “most” (I don’t really have a favorite though, if I’m being honest. The whole kit and kaboodle is so much fun). Amy lives in Boise, Idaho and I think the whole “farmer’s daughter,” feel is very on brand for Middle America.

What do you Peepz think about Hilda and Amy? Let me know in the comments below or get in touch on twitter.

Source and Image: Amy Pence Brown’s Website

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What Happens Next?

I feel like my dating life is a movie. Craig’s List was always my go-to source for sexual involvement back in the day, but that world is over now. While I don’t mind swiping left or right (and I will absolutely admit that I have a “type”) most of what I am attracted to is chemistry through conversation.

It bugs me out how many seriously decent conversations I may have missed out on because the person on the app wasn’t able to take a decent picture of themselves.

The innovative ways that people are having virtual sex during quarantine is pretty amazing to me. Zoom orgies are totally a thing and I’m here for it. I’ve even started having cam sex with some of my friends again. I’ve fallen back in love with sharing myself and my body with people over the Internet.

But what happens when we can go back to touching each other safely? Will Internet sex take a back seat the the real thing again? I hope not. There is room in the world for both types of sexual experiences.

In the article linked below, they also talk about how actual dating has changed. I’ve gone on a few social distancing dates so far. Some have been awkward and some have been insanely hot. It’s an absolute tease to see someone that you find attractive sitting in their car two parking spaces away from you and know that you can’t touch them because it’s not safe.

The hermit in me loves the idea of never having to leave the house for social experiences. Having sex like they do in Demolition Man seems a bit extreme though.

The further we get into our screens, the less likely we are to come in contact with each other until absolutely necessary. Think about how many phone calls you made 10 years ago. Hearing someone’s voice rather than texting them makes it more personal, I think. I love listening to my friends get themselves off while I’m doing the same.

Staying creative is saving my sanity.

I love planning out my self-love sessions with my friends beforehand. Telling stories to each other all day while we get hot and bothered definitely passes the time. While you can’t know for sure if you’re going to have the same chemistry in person as you do online, it’s a blast to figure out if you’re compatible before you make the effort to meet up when it’s safe.

What do you Peepz think about dating right now? Are you into the constant tease and Jane Austin-esque courtship, or are you going to end up splooging at the first touch once the world is released?

If you think you can talk dirty to me the right way, let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with some slutty words.

Source: Mashable

Image: Luna Star in The Future of Fucking by Brazzers

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Bringing the World Together Through Porn

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and I’ve come to the conclusion that sports can be very effective in bridging the gap between cultures, between nations, and even between openly declared enemies. Somehow, for as much as the competitive nature of sports encourages an ‘Us vs. Them’ mentality in viewers and fans, it also unites us in a very real way, bringing to light a shared passion for the activity at issue, be it pairs bobsledding, individual speed skating, women’s ice hockey or men’s downhill beer-pong.

Sports aren’t alone in this ability to transcend points of division between people, of course. Music is another nearly universal human pursuit that crosses all borders, as is the enjoyment of good food. (Anything that can permit an unrestrained, verbose blowhard like Anthony Bourdain to easily relate to earthy Lebanese shopkeepers has to have some sort of special unifying property, after all….)

Strange as it may sound, it strikes me that porn might have the same sort of culturally transcendent potential that sports, music and food offer, rooted in its similarly broad appeal. Of course, there aren’t too many sports that are patently illegal across broad swaths of the planet, and most music (even Miley Cyrus’) isn’t considered automatically debasing and dehumanizing by a hefty percentage of the population, but those obstacles can be overcome through application of a carefully crafted approach to what I call “The Great Porn Unification.”

One reason why sports, food and music have been so successful in bringing people together is that all three forms lend themselves to acts of merging, intermingling and mutual influencing. Take something like “Asian fusion” for example: by combining the flavors of various Asian cultures with a presentation that’s uniquely and obnoxiously American, epicurean alchemists have managed to create something that nobody truly likes, but will sit down in groups to consume together, anyway. It’s the same way with the so-called “jazz fusion” musical genre; by applying the raw energy and whimsical fashion sense of rock music to the complex, mildly nauseating improvisatory interplay of jazz, fusion musicians have managed to be almost entirely ignored by audiences of both rock and jazz.

(Related Side Note: Do you know the difference between a “pop” musician and a “jazz” musician? Pop musicians know four chords that they play to thousands of people; jazz musicians know thousands of chords that they play to four people. The More You Know….)

So how can The Great Porn Unification movement accomplish the same sort of unifying, galvanizing effect on a diverse, global audience? Through the tried and true method of fusing styles and blurring distinctions, naturally!

Imagine, for example, a new adult entertainment genre called “Southern Fried Anime.” The basic idea is to take the cartoon aesthetic and wild-fantasy elements of Japanese hentai and inject within it the sensibilities and style of the Old South – call it perhaps Gone With the Wind meets Guyver Out of Control. (“Frankly my dear…. I think you should make that octopus wear condoms on every tentacle.”)

In this intrepid new form of ‘cultural mash-up porn,’ the most important part will be to establish acceptance across both markets – which might require a bit of regionally-specific editing and adjusting of individual works at times. For example, sticking with the Southern Fried Anime example, within the American south, we’d want to change the spelling of “Anime” to “Anna May” to make it more cracker-friendly, while in the Japanese market, the main characters of the story would be depicted consuming sushi and miso nikomi udon instead of gnoshing on collard greens and cornbread.

Of course, a hentai hybrid that plays well in both Tokyo and Tallahassee is just one of many potential international porn pairings. One can easily see the cross-Atlantic appeal of seeing Rocco Siffredi plunge his German sausage between Sativa Rose’s Mexican bigote buns, so to speak, or having certain (possibly mythical) genres of German porn rendered more palatable to an international audience by having the performers feast on what they find between Katsuni’s legs instead of each other’s flesh….

You get the point. I’m sure there are many better ideas along these lines that can be dreamed up and brought to fruition, but that’s not my department. I’m just the Idea Girl. I’ll leave the actual execution to the same experts who brought us such delights as the kosher porn groundbreaker Assraelis and oh-so-culturally-sensitive titles like Chicks and Salsa or the Asian bondage classic Slope on a Rope.

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We Will Be Having Sex With Robots By 2050?!

Whenever I see one of those videos of ASIMO the Honda robot walking across a stage or climbing some stairs, I get a future boner. The robot itself is not very sexy. It looks like an over-sized Lego man and moves like a drunk toddler. However what excites me isn’t the present but the future. A future of robots I can fuck and then play video games with – like Teddy Ruxpin with a vagina.

According to an article published in Futures, robot prostitutes just like this will dominate the sex tourism market by 2050.

Currently, STDs and illegal human trafficking are major problems for the sex tourism industry. By sex tourism, we mean more than simply hiring a prostitute while on vacation. Sex tourism is a more hedonistic approach where prostitutes are the entire vacation. Robots could potentially impact such an experience for the better.

A robot made for sex would never transmit diseases and would be made to a level of physical beauty in the realm of perfection. The robot would take the job of several human prostitutes who may have otherwise been forced into prostitution against their will. Scientists and researchers are putting a lot of thought into this, and while the academic community has a collective nerd boner others are not as amused.

Dennis Hof, owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Carson City, Nevada said:

“Those Australian researchers ought to come to the Bunny Ranch to see what real American sex is like – there’s no way to duplicate it […] At the Bunny Ranch, we say ‘it’s not just the sex, it’s an adventure’ – and often times it’s more about the adventure than it is the sex.”

Hof has a point, but let’s look at this from the side of science. If we went from shitty clamshell phones to the iPhone in 6 years, imagine what could be done in 40. Robots can already walk and deliver drinks, and computer based artificial intelligence is getting pretty damn creepy. Slam some servos, a couple cameras and the right software into a Real Doll and we have the makings of a replicant from Blade Runner. Now that’s a god damn adventure.

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OK… So How SHOULD People Think About Sex?

A few years ago, Cracked.com published a post entitled The 5 Worst Ways Modern People Think About Sex, and while I tend to agree with much of what the post says, the observations also invite another question in response: “How should people think about sex?” Are there 5 best ways to think about sex?

According to Cracked, we shouldn’t think of sex as an identity, a weapon, a chore, a victory or a sin – but the post never really suggests a ‘correct’ way to think about sex, or even a less-than-worst way for us to think about it.

I suspect there’s any number of reasons why the Cracked post stops short of weighing in as to the better ways to think about sex – starting with the fact that it’s always considerably easier (and more fun) to find fault with things that other people do than it is to offer people a better course of action. It’s also true that as I sit here pondering my own question, I’m not having much luck answering it, myself.

I suppose some would say that the right way to look at sex is as an expression of love for your partner, but that’s definitely not the way I look back on some of the most enjoyable and thrilling sex that I’ve had in my life, because some of that sex was with men who I didn’t really think too highly of as people, quite honestly, let alone “love.” This was Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom sex; it was “passionate” in a sense, sure, but that passion wasn’t informed by love, it was informed by raw, lustful desire that was very much rooted in physical attraction, and not a spiritual or emotional connection of any kind.

When it comes right down to it, the way I “think about sex” varies pretty wildly from encounter to encounter, and partner to partner. With my husband, it started out as a true joy, a real treat that I indulged in regularly, often multiple times per day. As we’ve grown older and more familiar with each other, I must admit, that sense of “chore” that Cracked warns us about has crept into my thinking. (In my defense, it’s just plain more pleasurable aesthetically to have sex while looking up at a firm six pack of abs than it is to be looking at the spot where the hard six pack used to be and seeing a soft, bulging duffle bag filled with empty beer cans, if you catch my drift….)

The more I churn this question over in my brain, the more obvious it seems that the “right” way to think about sex is the way that leaves you being honest with yourself and with your partner(s) – even if that way of thinking is one of the five worst ways to think about it by Cracked’s reckoning.

Look at this way: If you are someone’s sexual conquest for the evening, and that’s all you will ever mean to them, wouldn’t you rather know that before they put their penis inside of you, rather than after they haven’t returned your calls for a week? By the same token, if the guy you’re attracted to views sex as some manner of mortal sin, or as something that he’s otherwise deeply conflicted about, wouldn’t you prefer to be aware of that fact before you accidently adopt the mantle of Ms. Temptress Most Foul in his personal scorebook of sin?

Put another way, even if you believe there’s a “right” way to think about sex, do you think it would help you to force yourself to think that way, if it really isn’t what you believe? Could such a feat of mental gymnastics even work in the first place? Can we actually set aside the ways in which we do think about sex in favor of ways that we should think about sex?

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Study Finds That Women Enjoy Decorating As Much As Sex

Someone is always conducting a study to find out what kinds of activities people enjoy as much as sex. For men, this is a pretty short list. I can’t think of anything off the top of my head, but I’m sure there’s something. Women, however, seem to like all kinds of these as much as sex.

According to a study done by Dulex and the Mindlab International Laboratory at Sussex University, women can find decorating as pleasurable as sex, which is probably why my grandma used to try so hard to get me out of the room whenever she watched HGTV.

This was determined by presenting a group of people with a series of scenarios ranging from driving a fast car, having sex, eating chocolate, and a range of other leisurely activities. When asked to measure their emotional response to all of these stimuli it was found that for women, the emotions experienced from decorating a room were on par with those associated with sexual intercourse.

According to Dr. David Lewis, one of the key figures of the study:

“It may surprise some people to realize that a newly re-decorated room can have such an impact on emotions. However our environment plays a big role in the mood. Think of how you feel on a warm sunny day in comparison to a grey winter morning. Our homes are the same — a beautifully decorated room can significantly enhance your mood.”

And there you have it! Maybe it’s time to start up a whole genre of porn for decorating fetishists.  I’ll set the scene:

A woman stands alone in a drab room. She paces the floor holding her hands up to the walls as if to imagine the hanging of drapes and decorative framings of dried flowers.

As the finished room comes together in her mind, the woman notices her heartbeat beginning to increase. Just as the anticipation becomes too much to bare, he walks in – tall, surly contractor with a stoic demeanor but kind eyes.

“Shall we get started,” he says…

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China Dominating Sex Toy Production, Consumption

According to the Want China Times more than half of the world’s adult toys are manufactured in China. This doesn’t come as much of a surprise since China pretty much makes everything from iPhones to sneakers. A more interesting fact, however, is that they also consume 70 percent of them.

The Chinese bought 100 million yuan worth of sex toys in 2014. This works out to be $15.9 million and is a huge chunk of change for a country where the average salary is approximately $14,000 annually. The most popular products were sex toys, massage oils and lingerie. A survey found that while most of the products were purchased by men, they were mostly used by women, confirming that if China celebrated Christmas they would make the best secret Santas.

Sex dolls were also a popular choice, with one factory in eastern China making an average of 800 dolls per day, and selling 70,000 a year. Most of these dolls were sold in major cities in the southern region of the country while others were exported to South Korea, Japan and Turkey. Coincidentally, “Chinese Sex Doll” is the name of my new prog rock band.

China is a rapidly becoming a center of commerce for the global economy, but for every billionaire Chinese businessman there are a couple thousand rural farmers living on 200 dollars a month. Communism isn’t what it used to be and that’s good. China has done very well after adopting a more capitalist approach to their economy.

For some odd reason, I think selling millions of dollars’ worth of sex toys is a step in the right direction for China. Everyone loves sex, and whatever bits and pieces you can assemble to make it better is the icing on the hot, sticky cake. If anyone can make an affordable sex novelty that would be accessible to everyone – it is China.

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Reporter Moonlighting as ‘Angry Stripper’ Has Been Fired

The Diary of an Angry Stripper is a blog maintained by Sarah Tressler wherein she talks about the knuckleheads, bizarre fetishes, and humorous circumstances she encounters while performing as an erotic dancer. Sarah started dancing in college while she studied towards a master’s degree in Journalism at NYU. She gained some notoriety when it became public through her blog that she received unsatisfactory oral sex from Jeremy Piven at some point during her time at NYU. The story got picked up by other blogs and the internet enjoyed a good chuckle.

This notoriety came with a price, however.

Tressler did indeed obtain her master’s in Journalism, and with it she became a reporter for the Houston Chronicle. The nature of her reporting revolved around society events where she was described as being “a highly competent freelancer.” Upon hearing about her double life, her newspaper colleagues had less than flattering things to say about the Batman of strippers.

Apparently upset that she’s both beautiful AND an awesome reporter, she was fired by The Houston Chronicle for not disclosing her work as a stripper. Frankly, I think this was a horrible move by the Chronicle.

The news is boring. Everyone talks slow and all of the stories are about some old lady’s cat or news from the internet that you already read at work. Tressler is the total package. She’s sexy, smart and willing to utilize all of her assets to succeed. The Houston Chronicle should have slapped her in the sexiest wardrobe allowed by the FCC, handed her some notes, thrown a stripper pole in the news room and let the woman do what she does best: Entertain and inform!

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Manifesting Sex

I realized this morning that I don’t want to compromise anymore when it comes to my sex life. Sure dating apps are fun to mess around on, but I’m not clicking with very many people and I realized that I’m OK with that. The next person who gets to bang me is going to have their work cut out for them, I swear.

Because I orgasm as quickly as I do, my previous partners (not my ex-wife…back further than that) had a tendency to think that one orgasm was totally enough to satisfy me. They would make me cum and then the rest of the session would be focused on getting them off.

That is not the Droid I’m looking for.

I want 20 orgasms in one sex session. Does that seem like a lot? That’s because it is. My body deserves every single one of those explosions. When I’m fucking, I’m giving 100% of myself to my partner, whether it’s a one night stand or a long term relationships…or even something in between.

I started to make a handwritten list of things that will help me manifest the sex life I’m looking for and I wanted to share it with my favorite Peepz. As with my actual self, this list will be ever evolving. If there’s one thing I’ve got right now, it’s time to edit.

• Because I want my partner to know my body, I must spend time getting to know my body all over again. The person who I was in my 20s and 30s has changed. All aspects of my life are different and I should not expect my reaction to touch to stay the same.
• I will put effort and energy into finding friends who turn into sex partners. My days of slutting around just for the story are over. The quality of the people that I decide to fuck must be on my level.
• Communication is key in every relationship. I will speak my mind, no matter how filthy it is, or how embarrassed or shy I am. I will tell my partners of my needs whether we are in a sexual situation or not.
• There is a need in my life for hard, rough, kinky sex. I am not ashamed of this desire and I expect my partners to also be unashamed. Within shame there is hesitation. Within hesitation mistakes can be made.

That being said…

• My partners will be open to experimenting and learning about kink in a safe, sane and consensual manner. I will provide instruction when necessary, but will also allow myself the power to relinquish control, to let my partners grow and to fully experience submission (safely. I’m going to keep using that word, I don’t care how repetitive it is).

I think the most important thing that I have realized while I’m doing this deep mental dive into my own sexual being is that I am no longer interested in providing pleasure without reciprocation. So much of my life was spent pleasing other people. While I enjoyed doing that in the moment, now it is my turn to be pleased.

Do you Peepz have any sexually related goals? Is there anything you are going to be on the lookout for when it comes time to find your next partner? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter if you’d like to chat about it.

Image: Harlot’s Private Stash

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Vibrator Life Savers

One of my friends makes corsets on the side. She’s been battling with boning and grommets for the past 20 years and has made quite a name for herself in the niche market. When COVID hit, everyone stopped spending hundreds of dollars on corsets so she had to reinvent herself.

What does everyone want in abundance right now?

Masks. Lots of masks. Masks to match every outfit. Masks to give cheeky advice to the outside world or make fun of the fact that we’re all covering our faces like bank robbers all the time.

Btw…when everything is said and done, what do you think about always wearing masks? Part of me is enjoying the fact that facial recognition software has to be getting tripped up by all the faces being covered. Damn the man, save the empire.

So many companies are repurposing their skills and materials for the better good of many right now. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, especially when I think about conservative slut shamers who are walking around with sex toys on their heads.

Don’t lie, it makes you giggle too.

UK based sex toy manufacturer, CMG Leisure has recently stepped down from providing pleasure and has started helping out for the better good of the world. Normally, they are known for their Doxy Wand Vibrator, pictured in the header image above.

The company is using their 3D printing technology to create “ear savers” for essential workers in the UK. Here’s a picture of what the little gizmos look like:

Neat, right?

You hook the terribly uncomfortable elastic around the ear saver on both sides and it keeps the mask from crushing your face uncomfortably.

I love stories like this because it proves to everyone that sex is OK and perverts are people too. Like my friend who is using her masterful seamstress skills to create above par masks, CMG Leisure has realized that if they aren’t part of the solution, they are part of the problem.

It’s wild to me that we’ve been in quarantine for as we have. People with ideas for helping everyone out are still coming out of the woodwork and I think that’s awesome. Do you feel like you’ve been more or less creative while all of this has been going on? Hit me up in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter if you’d like to keep it private.

Source: Forbes

Image: Doxy Die Cast

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Fap Along With Harlot: Madison Ivy

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Fantasy Friday: Bring Your Own Balls

The party had cleared out and my backyard was completely empty. I had rented a bounce house, an inflatable slide and an inflatable ball pit for the kids to play on, but now that everyone was gone and it was getting dark outside, I couldn’t help but have a little fun myself.

I took a peek around to make sure no one was able to see me and decided to strip down to my bra and panties to have a romp. As soon as my clothes hit the ground, the night air picked up speed and kissed my skin. Goosebumps were everywhere on my body. I shivered a bit, but then ran as fast as I could to the bounce house.

It’s always been a fantasy of mine to jump around naked in one of those things. Ever since I understood how sexy women looked on trampolines, it’s been one of my life’s missions to do some slow-mo jumping high in the air. I pushed the netted door to the side and started jumping with so much joy that I couldn’t help but laugh and scream a bit.

My neighbor’s house is close, so every time I jumped I was able to see that their kitchen lights were on. There’s no way that he could see me, at least I hoped he couldn’t.

I did flips in the air and landed in the huge rubber pillow time after time. My bra was starting to get uncomfortable, so I took that off…followed shortly by my underwear, because why the fuck not, right?

It was time for me to play around on the other equipment though.

The slide was anticlimactic. I went down it twice before realizing that it wasn’t as much fun as the bounce house was. Before I went back to that though, I had to try out the ball pit.

As soon as I could feel my toes on the grass, I knew something was different.

My neighbor called, “I don’t want to scare you, but I saw what a great time you were having and I thought I might join you.”

He was handsome, but not necessarily my type. A business man who was only around on the weekends and left his home empty the rest of the week. “Too much travel, not enough fun,” was always how I had described him.

Now he was standing 20 feet away from me in my backyard and I was completely naked.

“What kind of fun were you thinking about having?” I asked him.

“I wanted to try out that ball pit over there. I brought my own balls though, if that’s OK with you,” he smirked.

“Strip down so that we’re on the same page,” I winked at him over my shoulder and started heading towards the ball pit.

I got inside and my feet sank to the bottom. I had forgotten how much fun it could be to just let go and have a good time. My neighbor slipped in between the netted entrance and was completely exposed to me. His cock was rock solid so I could tell that he’d been admiring me for awhile.

I stood up on one side of the ball pit and he stood on the other.

“You ready?” I asked him, “One…Two…THREE!”

We both jumped in the air, landed in the balls and started laughing into the quiet night.

Things were about to get very interesting on the Neighborhood Watch, I thought to myself.

Image: Alexis Fawx in Fuck the Pain Away by Brazzers

Image: Alexis Fawx in Fuck the Pain Away by Brazzers

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Burning Calories While Fucking

Quarantine is making it extremely hard for people to hook up if they aren’t living with their partners. I’m admittedly terrified of leaving my house right now, so I’m trying to spice up my self-love sessions as much as I possibly can. There’s nothing in the rule book saying that you can’t get creative when you’re masturbating, especially if it means that you’ll be burning off some extra calories while you do.

Burning calories while you’re getting in some personal pleasure time means that you can’t just lay on your back and let your arms do all the work. I’ve started putting a suction cup dildo on the side of my bathtub so that I can do squats and prepare my body for the lengthy fuck sessions that I’m going to be going through when things are safer outside. When I first started, I was only doing like 25 before my shaky legs were giving in to grinding. I’m up to 75 now, before taking a rest and then finishing up with another 25. The first day that I did a full hundred squats I was fucking amazing with myself. I think I was too busy concentrating on counting to actually have an orgasm, but hey…I got the activity and the dildo in, so whatever.

If you’re going to try and count sex as a means of daily exercise, you’re going to have to put a whole lot of effort into getting down with the get down.

Most studies indicate that sex can be counted as light to moderate exercise in most cases. People with penises and people with vulvas tend to burn calories differently though.

Quoting from the article linked below:

Factoring in how long each session lasted, the researchers concluded that the men burned, on average, 4.2 calories per minute compared to 3.1 calories per minute for women. This was significantly less than when the same participants exercised on a treadmill, where men burned 9.2 calories/min and women burned 7.1 calories/min — more than twice as much as sex.

I’m picturing a heterosexual couple having sex missionary style when I read that. That’s not how I have sex and that’s not how most people I know claim to have sex. Both parties should be moving with the momentum of the thrust. Whether you are topping or bottoming, neither party should be sitting still and relaxing

Don’t get me wrong, when my pussy is getting eaten, I’m sitting still and totally enjoying the sensation, but when there is penetration going on you’ll often find me daring my partner to do something crazy, like hang halfway off the bed while I’m riding them.

Experimenting with sex and physical activity is definitely a lot of fun. If you’re going at it solo though, remember that you can spice things up and make it special. Try a new position or a new toy, just make sure you tell me all the dirty details when you do.

Source: Insider

Image: Kira Noir in Push It to the Limit by Brazzers

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It’s Harlot’s 40th Birthday, Let’s Party

I’m officially a 40-year-0ld woman today. This is both surprising and exciting to me. Internally, I feel like I’ll always be in my early 30s, because that was a hell of a time. My knees and the fact that I take meds on the daily remind me that I’m getting older though.

It was strange to me when Dana DeArmond started calling herself a cougar and a MILF, but that’s exactly where I’m at. When Peepz hit me up on social networking sites, they say that they’ve been fans of mine for over a decade. That in and of itself is strange to me. Jerking off to some clips that I threw together an entire lifetime ago when I was slutting around the tri-state area on the hunt for adventures. All of that shit happened lifetimes ago, but I’m proud of who I’ve Evolved into.

How am I celebrating my 40th birthday sexually? I’m going to be working on stretching out my butthole so that when this whole quarantine is lifted, I can get my ass fucked proper by the new lady I’m talking to. I know it’s going to be a few months, so I’ll have plenty of time doing solo anal acrobatics before I have to even think about someone else rimming me.

Back in my 20s, I always said that doing a MMF was going to be my mid-life crisis fantasy. While I’m not in “crisis mode,” yet…I’m beginning to rethink my younger self. What if I keep that MMF in my pocket and just never do it? I mean, anal stretching seems like it would be a good place for me to expand my repertoire while I’m entering middle aged. I enjoy the company of women so much that at this point there are only two men in my life that I would consider having sex with….but I am fairly certain that one of those men would not be OK with also having sex with the other guy.

I want my fantasies to be completely fulfilled the way I’ve been dreaming about them. It isn’t really an MMF that I want, it’s an MFM…like the content that Wolf Hudson has been filming lately. I want bi guys who are totally into pleasing each other and pleasing me all at the same time. I don’t need to be the center of attention the entire time, but I do need to tick the right boxes in my own head.

I’ve had sex with tons of people. While I’m reflecting back, not a lot of it was good sex. For me it was all about having the experience rather than being satisfied. My 40s are going to be completely different.

I want orgasms from my partners. I crave intensity and knowing that my partner is both enjoying what I’m doing and enjoying me as well. No more masturbating after the person has left my bedroom so that I can get off too. Only good lovers need apply to be in between my legs and if that means that I ostracize exs, so be it.

No more bad dick. No more bad kissers. No more compromising my own fantasies to make other people’s come true. I’m so excited to continue on with my own sexual adventures and learn as much as I can about what I want and need in my life.

Happy 40th birthday to me, Peepz. It’s going to be a good one. Buy me presents if you’d like.

Image: Harlot’s Secret Stash

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Fap Along With Harlot: Cock Sucking

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Naked Baking

The first tweet I saw when I powered up my laptop on Thursday morning was something that Alice Skary wrote about sourdough starter. In case you aren’t privy, They are a self-proclaimed pervert who loves to push the buttons of their subs and has a crazy creative streak when it comes to content creation. I’ve been slightly obsessed with Their Pornhub clips for a hot minute. I stan for real.

Here’s Their tweet that got me thinking about getting naked and filthy in my very own kitchen:

Like an engorged swollen cock straining against the stressed fabric of one’s shorts so doth my sourdough strain tensely against the cling wrap a top it’s bowl pic.twitter.com/HAFSvDz9ug

— Alice Skary (they/them) | ATL (@AliceSkary) May 14, 2020

Oof, my Peepz. Yes to engorged cocks…yes to carbs…yes to mummification bondage? All of the things. It was an excellent way to start my day.

Before I start talking about nudity and getting frisky in the kitchen, here is one of Their Pornhub teasers to further explain why you should stop what you’re doing and follow Them everywhere. I’m not joking, go do it.

Between that tweet about the sourdough starter and the fact that I’ve seen Alice Skary do completely dastardly things to fuck holes, I’m totally in the mood to get it on in my kitchen. The issue with that particular fantasy of mine is that there is a HUGE window in my kitchen and absolutely no privacy. I’m going to have to put that fantasy to the side for now and vicariously live through other people.

I did a bit of research and discovered the article linked below, about how there has been a resurgence of baking in the nude while quarantined. The British Naturism website is filled with different things that people can do while they are hanging out naked, whether the quarantine is happening or not. Naked yoga, naked laundry, naked fishing…I could go through the whole list Forest Gump style, but I’m not going to.

Before people get into an uproar about nudity not being sexual, I totally agree with you. Boobs and bits are very nice to look at, however so I’m not going to slut shame you if you get turned on by the fact that you’re watching someone magically transform flour and water into bread.

Have you been spending a lot of time naked since the pandemic started? I’m curious. I have definitely been spending a lot more of my time nude around the house. I have one of my bathrobes hanging outside of my kitchen doorway so that I don’t get caught by the neighbors walking around in the buff. I’m also spending a lot of my time shopping in the nude. At least my lingerie collection is growing though!

Source: The Sun and British Naturism

Image: Lexi Stone and Sunny Leone in Coochie Monster Lessons by Brazzers

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Fantasy Friday: Water Balloon Fight!

The Jersey heat is alarming even though it’s early in the season. I’m hanging out in my backyard with some of my girls, barbecuing some meat and veggies, just having a good time. The only issue with this beautiful afternoon is the fact that I’m hot and there is no way to cool off.

“I want to like, Slip and Slide or run through a sprinkler or something,” someone says.

I fan myself with an oven mitt, flip the burgers and remember that I have a stash of water balloons left over from a birthday party last year. Those small, rubber balls of happiness just may be the answer to all of my problems. There are several sexy women in my backyard and getting them into wet T-shirts as quickly as possible is probably the best idea that I’ve had in years.

“Let’s get soaked, ladies!” I announce as I head towards the hose to start filling them up.

My hose isn’t hard to operate, but it definitely has a mind of its own sometimes. The water starts spraying me down and my thin, yellow shirt is becoming more transparent as I’m trying to fill up the balloons. One of my girls comes over to help me out and I accidentally-on-purpose shoot the hose in her direction. She lets out a screech like I knew she would. It only takes two steps before she’s in front of me reaching for the hose.

I’m already soaked, so she can spray me down all she wants. My nipples continue to perk up under the alarmingly cold water.

“We need to get them,” she whispers.

With water balloons in our hands and the hose at the ready, we lightly lob the water filled gobs at our two friends on the deck. They scream at the sudden release of water and start charging towards us.

I grab the hose to keep them away and just start spraying them down. Everyone is soaked, laughing and screaming all at the same time. They reach the pile of balloons I created and start tossing them at me. Sometimes I let them hit me, sometimes I dodge them unsuccessfully. I’m fully drenched at this point, so I put down the hose and take off my shirt. My sheer bra is basically useless at this point, but I leave it on in case the neighbors peek over the fence.

“Oh, now we’re getting naked?” one of my friends shouts.

“It’s much less hot out here with less clothing on,” I admit.

The three ladies look at each other, shrug and take their tops off.

I realize that I’m still at a disadvantage though, because they have the pile of balloons on their side of the yard and my hose is running out of length.

“Get her!” one of them screams.

I drop the hose and start running away laughing. When I get to the fence I turn around to face them and be pummeled with balloons. My girl slides up nest to me with a balloon in her hand. I know what’s coming and brace myself for impact. Her hands reach up, she goes in for a kiss and slowly squeezes the balloon until it bursts all over both of us.

Follow me on twitter for more fantasies and fun.

Image: Ryan Keely in Water Balloon Charity Fuck by Brazzers

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To Top or to Bottom

As far as sex goes, I’m what people call a Switch. I can top or bottom, which doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with penetration, but has tons to do with control. When I meet a new lover for the first time, finding that sweet spot of a sexual dynamic can be hard sometimes.

Towards the end of the relationship with my ex and I, one of the issues we kept coming up with is that we both wanted to bottom. Neither one of us wanted to take control of the sexual situation because it felt awkward. This lead to both of us being disappointed with sex in the long run. The communication that we had spent so many years working on flew right out the window and we became the type of couple that we always talked shit about; a couple that couldn’t be bothered to communicate their desires to each other.

With the new woman that I’m talking to, she’s a top through and through. She is 100% a giver and a sexual explorer who is looking to please her partners in any way her imagination can come up with. The problem that I am having with that is that I enjoy giving pleasure as much as I enjoy getting it. I don’t mind at all if I can’t make her cum, but I do want to participate in giving her pleasure. While my tongue is certainly no Hitachi, it can still make you feel pretty fucking good.

I jumped on twitter to have a few conversations with my followers about Topping, Bottoming and what sexual dynamics means to them in the bedroom. A lot of people got back to me saying that they feel multifaceted. Whether they are in control or being controlled, they’re happy getting the action.

I have a hot take on that though.

Maybe we should know where we stand in the bedroom before the session starts so that we’re not fumbling around for control when we’re trying to take our clothes off. I have had a lot of bad sex partners in my life. If I had bothered to check the pulse of how they like to fuck before we actually ended up fucking, the sex could have been a million times better in most instances.

Your dynamic doesn’t have to stay the same with every partner or even every fuck session. I think there’s something sexy to be said about asking, “Do you think I could take control tonight? I’d really love to see how you react to me topping you,” or even the opposite. I don’t see bottoming as “taking a break,” I see it as letting go of control.

Here’s a sexy Pornhub clip from Straplezz with a smoking hot Top/Bottom dynamic that I really think you Peepz will love.

So tell me Peepz, are you a top or a bottom? Do you like to be in control or do you prefer to be controlled? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with the dirty details.

Image: Alexxa Vice in The Dommes Next Door by Brazzers

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Florida Sheriff Swings

One of these days, we’ll live in a world where people are totally realistic about the fact that we are all sexual beings who have the capacity to be kinky. It bugs me out so much that so many of my D/s friends have to be so careful about what they post Online for fear of their careers being ruined. What do my bedroom antics and my day job have to do with each other? Absolutely nothing.

A Florida Sheriff is finding out what happens when puritanical America finds out that you like to do dirty, filthy things to people in your bedroom. Pictures of Broward County Sheriff Gregory Tony at a few swingers parties have surfaced. Currently, Tony is neither confirming nor denying that he and his wife are the people in the images.

Know what I think?

Who cares if this guy fucks multiple women at a party when he’s off duty? Is his ability to keep his dick rock solid while he’s running a train on three hot blondes in Miami really a direct correlation to the way that he handles business when he’s on the clock? Of course it’s not. The moral compass of the world right now has bigger fish to fry then this Sheriff who may or may not enjoy the company of women other than his wife.

Also, his wife is allegedly in the pictures with him and now her name is being dragged through the dirt because some guy in politics got his panties all in a prudish twist.

The pictures in question were posted on the social media accounts of Bliss Night Club in Fort Lauderdale. Their instagram page is private, which is one level of the protection of its members. Here’s the thing that gets me though…Did Gregory Tony and his wife sign a waiver that the club could use their pictures for promotional use? If they did, then that was dumb. You can’t expect pictures to remain private if you sign your rights away. If they didn’t though…bad on the club for outing their members.

Before I go to any kind of kink or sex party, I read up on what their camera and phone policies are. At the conventions that I go to, most of the time they have a strict no camera policy. That’s how I like it. Not for nothing, but if images of me are going to be used for someone’s spank bank, you better believe that I want first crack at the edits to see what they look like. I’m not into people swiping my images or videos for their own personal use/gain. It’s fucked up. Having control over where I share myself is a big deal. I imagine that it’s the same for people who have high profile jobs.

It’s easy to get into kink and swinging, but it’s hard to find a group of people that you trust. That’s where the sheriff seems to have failed. Somewhere in his circle of friends there is someone who wanted to do him harm, and he just might lose his whole career because of it.

What do you Peepz think about this story? Do you think that elected officials have the right to be kinky or do you think that they should keep their sex lives behind closed doors regardless of their own preferences?

Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Source: NY Post

Image: Krissy Lynn in This is a Bust by Brazzers

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Fap Along With Harlot: MYLF

Everyone loves an older woman, right? The adult industry used to cycle out babes after they hit their 30s, but now the MILF market is one of the most popular genres in the business. The older I get, the more I am able to appreciate watching these hot moms and housewifes take a pounding.

For this week’s Fap Along, I pulled clips from MYLF’s channel on Pornhub for us to enjoy together. I love watching women who are in their sexual prime get satisfied by people who know exactly how to handle their bodies.

Are you Peepz ready? I’ve got my lube and my new favorite dildo ready to rock. I suggest you grab your favorite jizz sock and let’s start fapping!

I’m going to start off this Fap Along with a bit of Joslyn James. She’s a tattooed MILF who knows how to handle a cock in her mouth. When her eyes open up wide and she starts moaning for cock, I swear that there’s no way her neighbors didn’t hear.

I’m here for slow motion running up stairs, especially when Channel Preston is involved. She works out for a bit, then takes a dip in the pool to clean up before she gets dirty and sweaty all over again.

When Ivy Labelle gets a hankering for some cock, she’s going to get it. Her body was made to fill up with cum, so her on-camera stud take the initiative and shoots his load inside her. She lets it slowly drip out on camera so we can get a view of every drop.

Christina Cinn takes Emily Willis under her wing and shows her how to have a good time in the office. The ladies get to know each other intimately on the boss’ desk after they take some photocopies of their boobs.

I’m going to close out this Fap Along with another Ivy Labelle clip because I honestly can’t get enough. She gets so raunchy in the kitchen and teases the camera with flour all over her juicy butt. It’s super hot and definitely worth spilling jizz over.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. I hope you’ve made a hot mess of yourself, because I know I have. If you would like a Fap Along list of your very own, let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Image: Joslyn James for MYLF

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Fantasy Friday: All-Girl Gangbang

Thursday night, I was hanging out with the new woman that I’m dating. We were playing Jack Box with some of her friends. One of them asked my new friend what she was doing during her quarantine and she answered, “I’m finally starting that harem I always wanted.”

My ears perked at that. How hot would it be to belong to a stable of pussy that this sexy Dyke from Brooklyn commanded? I wouldn’t mind being her bottom bitch at all. I love the idea of orgies and group sex of all types, but once you start taking out the guys and only talking about having a pussy party, it’s like my dream come true.

I’ve done a few all-female orgies before, but they were all so huge that it was hard to focus on just one thing. My lesbian group sex experiences go straight from threesomes to 20 people being in the room at once. I wonder what it would be like to have 6 or 8 ladies in the same room that were all ready to party.

I’d like to see bodies everywhere, but not so many women in the room that everyone was indistinguishable. At this point in my life, I’m not so much interested in anonymity as I am in having chemistry and connection.

In my favorite part of this fantasy, my new Dyke friend is strapped up and standing at the foot of a bed. I’m on my back with my legs up in the air while, absolutely ready to be penetrated by her cock. One of the other women in the room sits on my face so I can’t see anything else that is happening. I feel the familiar wetness of pussy on my fingers as my hands are both mounted by different women. Fingers turn into fists when the pussies start to stretch themselves open. One woman on each of my hands, a clit in my mouth, my friend starts to slide her dick in and out of my wet fuck hole. Moaning and eating pussy at the same time is a bit tricky, but it’s definitely doable if you put your mind to it.

But it’s the difficulty of performing simultaneous tasks that drives me to be a better lover.

There is complete overstimulation going on with my body. I can’t move at all. All of my limbs are being used for pleasure and that is exactly how I like it to be.

Here’s a Devil’s Film clip with Abella Danger as the center of attention, which is basically how my fantasy plays out in my head.

I can’t wait to see if my new lady friend and I can actually make this a reality. I wonder who else she has in her stable of lovers and if she would be interested in sharing them with me. Either way, I’m excited for this whole quarantine to be lifted so that I can start going on adventures with her.

My imagination is in overdrive with this new woman, Peepz. I know I get like this at the start of every new relationship, but this one seems very intense. Once she finally gets her hands on me, I may be in a heap of trouble.

Image: Alex Chance, Aubrey Adams and Noelle Easton in My Two New Lesbian Lovers by Brazzers

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May is Masturbation Month

May is my favorite month, not just because my birthday is on the 18th, but because it’s Masturbation Month. If you know anything about me at all, you know that I can Fap Along with the best of them. Since we’re basically all stuck at home right now with nothing to do but explore ourselves and Marie Kondo the fuck out of our houses, I think it’s time that we took a deep dive into self love and figured out what makes us tick.

Now that I’m single, I’m trying new stuff out. I feel like I’ve been in a bit of a sex rut the last few years and I want to do my best to brake myself the fuck out of it.

One of the things that I’ve been toying around with are different types of orgasms. I bought a few new dildos when I got laid off from my day job (no worries, I’m going back in two weeks) and one of them turned out to be a little bit longer and thinner than I’m used to. At first I was disappointed, because you Peepz know how much I love a good hole stretch, but I threw caution to the wind and decided to try it out.

What happened to my body was something that I’d never experienced before. There was a spot that I don’t think anyone else had ever touched. It felt…good…different definitely, but so fucking good. I kept hitting the spot inside me (as one does) and the resulting orgasm was so different than my regular orgasms. I knew that I was going to be “chasing the dragon,” to rediscover that sensation again and again.

My whole body came. That’s really the only way that I can describe it. The orgasm wasn’t a wave, like a G-spot or clitoral orgasm. It was warm and took over my entire brain. I was shocked, honestly. I’ve been fucking myself a few times a day for the past two decades, so the new experiences that I end up giving myself are few and far between at this point. I’ve been able to recreate that orgasm three other times now, so I’m pretty sure that I’ve officially added it to my masturbatory repertoire.

For the month of May, I’m doing a self-exploratory dive into all of my pleasure zones. I want to relearn how I like to be touched and how I want my partners to touch me. Sex has always been about the hunt for the orgasm, but I want to enter into the next stage of my life with a different point of view. Pleasure is what I’m looking for now. Not just the apex of orgasming quickly. I want to feel every bit of my body and figure out new ways to make myself feel good. Squirting has been off the table for so many years and I know that my body can still do it. My homework for this week is to make myself experience that all over again.

Masturbation Month couldn’t have cum at a better time for me. I’m excited to spend each day diddling and doing new things to myself that my imagination has held me back from in the past.

What kind of self-love treats are you planning on giving to yourself this month? Do you have any special fantasies that you want to make happen? Tell me about it in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with the dirty details.

Source: MasturbationMonth.com

Image: Breanne Benson and Kagney Linn Karter in Rowdy Roommates by Brazzers

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Face to Face Sex

The new woman that I’m talking to is really into looking into my eyes. We have a lot of video sex and she’s much less interested in seeing what my pussy is doing, or how my boobs look in lingerie. She says that my eyes are hypnotic to her…that’s basically why she’s totally going to get some of this when the quarantine is over.

Since she’s so into being face to face with her lovers, I decided to do some research on sex positions that involve having face to face contact. Luckily, I didn’t have to dig too deep, because a writer at Cosmopolitan Magazine was thinking the same thing I was.

The article linked below talks about five sex positions where the two parties involved can be face to face. I’ve come up with a few more of my own, just to keep things interesting.

First up in the Cosmo article is The Lounger. For this position, the penetrator gets on their knees and the person being penetrated sits on an armchair. My issue with this position is the amount of “knee time” that it would probably take. I see this position as a five minute fuck before you switch it up to something else.

Reverse missionary is next. I love this for strap on play. The fucker lays down on their back and the person being fucked gets on top. It can be a little tricky to get this to work (without being painful) with a real dick, because your cock would have to bend a bit, but it’s still a good time.

I’m also a huge fan of The Rocker. Both parties lay on their sides facing each other. Legs are entwined, eyes are locked and loaded with passion. You can either have penetrative sex in this position or go for some mutual masturbation, which is also a blast.

The Seesaw is like getting hugged and fucking at the same time. The penetrator gets on their knees while the person being penetrated basically sits on their lap. You wrap your arms around each other and go to work. Bouncing works but you’ve got to be able to handle squats to make it thrust-worthy.

The last position that the article talks about is Show and Tell. Both partners get on their knees (again with the knee stuff…I feel like this was written by someone in their 20s, which is totally fine but also not for us older folk who are starting to creak). You tease yourselves while looking at each other and masturbating. This is a super fun way to explore yourself with a captive audience.

My favorite face-to-face sex position, other than Missionary, is what the website SexPositions.Club calls, The Bow. Both parties are sitting, the leg of the penetrated party goes up on a shoulder while the person doing the penetrating does some thrusting. Here’s an image from their site:

If I’m the one being penetrated, this position allows me to grind into my partner like crazy, which is probably my favorite thing to do. I really enjoy the feeling of pushing myself into my lover and moving my hips in a way that makes both of us feel amazing.

How about you, my Peepz? Do you like lots of eye contact when you’re fucking or do you prefer some face down, ass up action? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with the dirty details.

Source: Cosmo

Image: Karma Rx in How to Fuck Your Masseur by Brazzers

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Fap Along with Harlot: Trans Sex

My Peepz! It’s my favorite time of the week. It’s time for you to get naked…and for me to get naked…that way we can enjoy each other’s company.

This week, I thought that we could get off to a few super hot Trans clips starring some of the sexiest people in the industry. They’ve all got hot bodies that are ready to be used in any way imaginable…I’m all about the uber long legs and the sky high heels, but the facial hair on the trans guys isn’t anything to shake a stick at.

Are you Peepz ready to have some fun? Lay a towel down for yourself because it’s about to get sloppy. Let’s Fap!

Janelle Fennec is going to start us off with a clip from the kitchen. She gets stuffed with the dick of Lance Heart while her legs are spread wide open. I love her stockings and her tiny pink nips.

The super hunky Luke Hudson is getting manhandled in this next one. His chiseled body can really take a cock. I love watching these two hunks go at it. It’s the perfect mix of rugged and sensual that drives me crazy.

Joanna Angel is one of my favorite performers of all time. Since jump, this Jersey girl has served her fans killer performances. In this clip, she gets picked up in a bar and fucked all over the place. Foxxy takes control of the scene and leads everyone to a very impressive finish.

Jail is a rough place and sometimes the sex is even rougher. The prisoner in this next video gets ass fucked by her lawyer…and I mean literal buttsex, not just like…the lawyer did a shitty job and took all her money, though I’m sure that happened too.

The trans guy in this last clip is a romantic. He wants to be held and stroked and made to feel good. Hairy guys have always done it for me…and the cock sucking isn’t that bad either.

That’s all for this week, Peepz. Don’t forget to clean up that mess you just made. If you’d like a Fap Along list of your very own, hit me up in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Image: Foxxy’s Twitter

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Types of Female Orgasms

Experiencing sexual pleasure is my hobby. I got a new dildo last week. It isn’t my usual super thick 6 incher. Instead, it’s thinner and much longer. With the help of that toy, I was able to hit spots inside my body that I hadn’t been able to hit before.

Once I found the spot, which was apparently my cervix, I kept hitting it. Over and over I pounded away. The orgasm that happened was something like I have never experienced before. It was my full body tingling all at once, not just the wave of pleasure that I get when I cum from a clitoral orgasm. I’ve cum twice in my life from anal orgasms and that also feels like a completely different sensation.

The female body is pretty amazing, isn’t it?

I dove down into an Internet rabbit hole to re-learn all about the other pleasure spots in my body. Now that I’ve got some time on my hands, I can’t think of a better project for me to participate in than bringing myself as many different types of orgasms as possible.

Here’s an interesting insta clip I found showing what happens anatomically during penetrative sex.

View this post on Instagram

This very cool clip comes from my “anatomy“ folder of saved posts. . . #Repost @cyndi_darnell ・・・ So this is a truly fabulous thing. This wee animation reveals how the clitoris (fuschia) wraps around the vaginal opening (dusty pink) and is stimulated only marginally by penetration. . As you can see the head of the clitoris is bypassed completely when the focus is solely on penetration. This means that a lot of pleasure- especially orgasm producing pleasure, is bypassed too. The head of the clit is the most sensitive part and inspires engorgement of the entire clitoral body. This is very similar ( though not identical) to how penises swell and become erect. . Imagine if testicles were the sole focus of intercourse for men, and the penis was bypassed in favor of the testicles? How much pleasure would that create on it’s own for penis owners? . Vaginal penetration is awesome. But on it’s own it’s like white bread. A tasty accompaniment to a meal, but not totally satisfying on it’s own. When it comes to pleasure, intercourse is the side dish – not the main event for many vulva-owners orgasms. . If you’re interested in learning more about this kind of pleasure…follow links to The Atlas of erotic Anatomy & Arousal. Link in bio https://cyndidarnell.com/atlas-of-erotic-anatomy-arousal/ . via @theellechase & @gangduclito @ex.x.xiteme from Dr. Pierre Foldès. .

A post shared by JoEllen Notte (@joellennotte) on Apr 29, 2020 at 5:57pm PDT

Neat, right?

There are four types of female orgasms (as a disclaimer, I feel like there may be more than that, but I’m not a scientist). You’ve got the clitoral, the ever evasive ejaculating orgasm, the g-spot orgasm and the cervical orgasm, which is what I experienced the other night. I’ve got all sorts of plans for my body now, Peepz. I want to try to do a double vag penetration with a gspot toy so that I can hit both my cervix and my g-spot (and possibly a vibrator on my clit??!?) at the same time.

I bet that would be so fucking intense. Maybe I’ll do that tonight while I have some time.

What do you Peepz think about all the different types of orgasms that women can have? Which have you participated in having/giving? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with the dirty details.

Source: Yahoo

Image: LaSirena 69 and Molly Stewart in Squirting Out the Truth by Brazzers

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Fantasy Friday: Car Sex Date

Going on dates during the pandemic is a little tricky. You can’t go out to eat because all the restaurants are closed. I’ve had to be a bit creative with the new woman that I’m talking to because I don’t want to get sick, but it is also important for me to figure out if we actually clique. I have an idea that I wanted to run past you Peepz.

I ask her if she wants to meet up in a grocery store parking lot because that is obviously the most romantic first date location ever. When I get there, I park in a place where no one else was around. She arrives and parks with two spots in between us. I put on my mask and walk around my car and get into the passenger side so that it’s easier to talk. Obviously, I’m dressed to the 9’s….stockings, heels, mini skirt, low cut top. I can’t help but notice her eyes undressing me as I take my time walking. Since I’m not able to get any physical interaction, I’m going to savor ever moment of her attention that I can get.

She mentions how much she loves my legs and starts asking me about my tattoos. I tell her a few of the stories and then my phone starts buzzing. When I glance at it, trying not to be rude, I see that she’s trying to video call me.

“Umm…I think you’re pocket dialing me,” I say to her.

“No, I’m not…you should pick it up.”

She looks directly into the camera on her phone and tells me that she wants to see if I’m wearing any panties because she didn’t see any lines on my ass when I was walking. I bite my lip and start to smirk. My phone goes into the cup holder so I can be hands free for a little while and I start to position myself so that she can see right up my skirt.

I do have panties on but they are over my garters. My pussy is soaked and I can feel my wetness oozing out from between my pussy lips. When I ask her if she wants me to take them off, she says no, that she wants me to push them to the side so that she can see my pussy.

The way that she purrs at me makes me melt. I’m very conscious of the fact that she is starting right at me from 10 feet away.

“Dip your fingers in. Let me see that cunt,” she says.

I do as instructed and start moving my fingers in circles over my clit. I pull at my labia rings and she starts moaning. While she won’t show me her pussy, I’m sure that she’s touching herself as well.

My fingers make quick work of my pussy and I try to keep my moaning to a minimum because we’re in public. She loves the show though and keeps telling me how she wants my to move my hands.

My orgasm rolls in like a god damn wave.

She tells me that she wishes that she could taste my fingers and I honestly wish that she could too.

Once the world opens up again, I think she’s going to have to do just that.

Just in case you forgot how much I enjoy masturbating in my car, here’s a Vintage Harlot clip of of of my sexcapades from back in the day.

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So that’s my fantasy, Peepz. What do you think? Should I stay home and just keep having cyber sex in the comfort of my own home? Should I venture out to a secluded parking lot with this new woman and let her watch me cum over video chat? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter.

Image: My actual car when I hit the BOOBS on the odometer

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