Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Study Finds That Women Enjoy Decorating As Much As Sex

Someone is always conducting a study to find out what kinds of activities people enjoy as much as sex. For men, this is a pretty short list. I can’t think of anything off the top of my head, but I’m sure there’s something. Women, however, seem to like all kinds of these as much as sex.

According to a study done by Dulex and the Mindlab International Laboratory at Sussex University, women can find decorating as pleasurable as sex, which is probably why my grandma used to try so hard to get me out of the room whenever she watched HGTV.

This was determined by presenting a group of people with a series of scenarios ranging from driving a fast car, having sex, eating chocolate, and a range of other leisurely activities. When asked to measure their emotional response to all of these stimuli it was found that for women, the emotions experienced from decorating a room were on par with those associated with sexual intercourse.

According to Dr. David Lewis, one of the key figures of the study:

“It may surprise some people to realize that a newly re-decorated room can have such an impact on emotions. However our environment plays a big role in the mood. Think of how you feel on a warm sunny day in comparison to a grey winter morning. Our homes are the same — a beautifully decorated room can significantly enhance your mood.”

And there you have it! Maybe it’s time to start up a whole genre of porn for decorating fetishists.  I’ll set the scene:

A woman stands alone in a drab room. She paces the floor holding her hands up to the walls as if to imagine the hanging of drapes and decorative framings of dried flowers.

As the finished room comes together in her mind, the woman notices her heartbeat beginning to increase. Just as the anticipation becomes too much to bare, he walks in – tall, surly contractor with a stoic demeanor but kind eyes.

“Shall we get started,” he says…



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