As far as sex goes, I’m what people call a Switch. I can top or bottom, which doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with penetration, but has tons to do with control. When I meet a new lover for the first time, finding that sweet spot of a sexual dynamic can be hard sometimes.
Towards the end of the relationship with my ex and I, one of the issues we kept coming up with is that we both wanted to bottom. Neither one of us wanted to take control of the sexual situation because it felt awkward. This lead to both of us being disappointed with sex in the long run. The communication that we had spent so many years working on flew right out the window and we became the type of couple that we always talked shit about; a couple that couldn’t be bothered to communicate their desires to each other.
With the new woman that I’m talking to, she’s a top through and through. She is 100% a giver and a sexual explorer who is looking to please her partners in any way her imagination can come up with. The problem that I am having with that is that I enjoy giving pleasure as much as I enjoy getting it. I don’t mind at all if I can’t make her cum, but I do want to participate in giving her pleasure. While my tongue is certainly no Hitachi, it can still make you feel pretty fucking good.
I jumped on twitter to have a few conversations with my followers about Topping, Bottoming and what sexual dynamics means to them in the bedroom. A lot of people got back to me saying that they feel multifaceted. Whether they are in control or being controlled, they’re happy getting the action.
I have a hot take on that though.
Maybe we should know where we stand in the bedroom before the session starts so that we’re not fumbling around for control when we’re trying to take our clothes off. I have had a lot of bad sex partners in my life. If I had bothered to check the pulse of how they like to fuck before we actually ended up fucking, the sex could have been a million times better in most instances.
Your dynamic doesn’t have to stay the same with every partner or even every fuck session. I think there’s something sexy to be said about asking, “Do you think I could take control tonight? I’d really love to see how you react to me topping you,” or even the opposite. I don’t see bottoming as “taking a break,” I see it as letting go of control.
Here’s a sexy Pornhub clip from Straplezz with a smoking hot Top/Bottom dynamic that I really think you Peepz will love.
So tell me Peepz, are you a top or a bottom? Do you like to be in control or do you prefer to be controlled? Let me know in the comments below or slide into my DMs on twitter with the dirty details.
Image: Alexxa Vice in The Dommes Next Door by Brazzers
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