Sex toys are the best invention. I don’t know what I would do without my favorite vibes. My orgasms would he harder to achieve and much less pleasurable, that’s for sure. Thankfully, I don’t have to worry about that, because the world is full of amazing sex toys. I wish I could afford some of the top of the line toys that are out there, but that’s just not in the cards for me right now.
Not to despair, though, because instead of lusting after all the toys I want and can’t afford I’m distracting myself by looking at all the disturbing sex toys that leave me with the sort of mental images nightmares are made out.
5. Buttzooka
There’s nothing quite like a Buttzooka going into your butthole to wake you up in the morning. More effective than all alarms systems put together.
4. Asylum Speculum
Oh those poor hysterical women sent to the insane asylum, they need a speculum stuck up their vagina. That’ll cure them!
3. Vomiting Mouth Stroker
This is a mouth stroker that comes with its own vomit. That’s right, you stick your dick in that mouth until it vomits all over you, because that’s hot.
2. Holy Water Piss Plug
This may look like a butt plug, but it’s not. It goes in your pee hole. There’s even a nice little hole for you to pee through if the need arises while you’re playing naughty priest and nun.
1. Masturbator Vee String
Wow, this is a vagina that goes over your dick. It’s a reverse vagina thong. It’s horrible. It’s been giving me nightmares. Not because I’m opposed to the concept, but rather it’s the execution. It looks like one of those creeper crawler alien things that wants to attach itself to the base of your skull. In movies, obviously. Not in real like. In real life it’s just a creepy inside out vagina.
Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd
The post Top 5: Bizarre Sex Toys That Will Give You Nightmares appeared first on Peeperz.
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