No Sex For The Guy With The Jacked Up Foot

Some of Peepz NEED to go through rituals to make themselves feel presentable when they’re about to get laid. I shave my underarms, my girl shaves her pussy, dual showering is also very much a part of our love making routine. I once dated this dude that had to chew a specific type of gum before he made out with anyone…and if he didn’t have his gum, he wasn’t about to start getting frisky.

There’s a man in New York City who says that he’s not going to be getting laid anytime soon, and it’s all because of a terrible pedicure…or at least that’s what he’s telling his lawyer.

Steven Clarke was with his girlfriend getting their monthly foot pampering date at a salon in a Harlem salon when the woman performing his pedicure scraped off a bit too much skin with an illegal tool called a “credo blade,” which is like a razor that you use on dry and dead skin. The razor isn’t sanitary at all and can leave large cuts in the skin, even if the person wielding it is a trained professional.

After being sliced, Mr. Clarke said that he’s unable to walk properly because of a limp. He has also quit playing soccer and started wearing shoes a few sizes too big because of the discomfort. In addition to those perfectly valid points, he is also complaining about the fact that he can’t bang his girlfriend because of the injury.

I call shenanigans on that one.

I mean, I know that there are some sexual positions that require balancing on one foot, or contorting your body into crazy positions, but I’m pretty sure that Ye Olde Cowgirl position and a bit of facesitting wouldn’t put any pressure on his toesies. There are literally a million things to try.

Lawsuits can even be good for boosting your self esteem and sexual prowess, I guess?

The crazy thing is that, since the tool used on him is illegal in N.Y. (and a few dozen other states) he’ll probably win the case.

I just don’t know if blaming your lack of sex drive on a terrible pedicure is such a great idea, especially after the wound has healed (get it? Heeled? OK fine, I’ll stop now).

Here’s a foot fetish clip from Hot Legs and Feet to show you what a perfect set of piggies looks like…footjob and all.

Source: New York Post

Image: Dana DeArmond in Never Get Married by Brazzers

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