Woman Walks Into Clinic With A Dinosaur In Her Vagina?

It’s never nice to laugh at the misfortune of others but it’s still pretty fun to do anyway.

Our favorite instances of schadenfreude occur when someone has a horrific sexual encounter and is forced to call emergency services. Whether it is firemen having to use the Jaws of Life to remove a toaster from someone’s dick or a doctor finding a decade-old sex toy inside of a woman- medical emergencies and masturbation gone awry make for good stories.

Today’s case may very well be my favorite. It comes from an anonymous nursing student who was working at a sexual health clinic and despite being rather naïve, she was eager to help.

One day a woman walked in with an unusual gait complaining of vaginal problems. The nurse immediately assumed it was something simple like thrush and started asking questions to confirm her assumption.

When the woman told the nurse she was playing with her son’s dinosaur and it got stuck, she wondered what that had to do with having a minor infection. That’s when she found out where it was stuck. Ouch!

After explaining that she was using the plastic T-Rex to masturbate and it got stuck insider her body, the nursing student realized the woman’s awkward gait was due to more than just thrush. At this point the experienced doctor on call fought back his own case of the giggles and stepped in to help the flustered student.

He had the woman hop up on a table and spread her open with a speculum, revealing an angry T-Rex with his claws out poised to attack. The nurse then battled the dinosaur with a pair of forceps until the Jurassic menace was free, at which point she applied some creams and medicines to soothe her irritated vagina.

She then told the woman:

“I don’t advise inserting children’s toys during sexual activity, however if you do choose to masturbate with a toy dinosaur, I recommend buying your own, and perhaps putting it in a condom, or tying a leash to its foot.”

That’s just good life advice in general.

Image: Veronica Rodriguez in No Hablas, No Problem! by Brazzers

Via theguardian.com

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