Saturday, October 31, 2015
Top 5: Nude Scenes In Horror Movies
Horror and nudity go hand in hand and for good reason. Fact is, we’re pervs and we’ll watch anything if there’s a hot naked bod in it. Scratch a little deeper, however, and you’ll find that nudity in horror movies is far more symbolic than you’d normally thing.
The order in which someone is killed in a horror movie is symbolic of that character’s worth compared to the other characters. The first deaths are often characters who have done something “wrong” like disobeyed their parents, gotten drunk, and had sex.
If looked at from another perspective, nudity in horror movies is also just plain scary. A person is never more vulnerable than when they’re naked and the more vulnerable a character on screen appears the more we can empathize with their fear.
Horror is all about heightened emotions and getting your blood pumping and there’s no better way to do that than by mixing sex and death, good and evil.
5. Jenna Jameson in Zombie Strippers
Zombie Strippers, sounds ridiculous, right? It is, but it’s also amazing. This movie is a gem I tell you, a pure gem.
4. Sissy Spacek in Carrie
The entire opening sequence of Carrie is one long shower scene in a girls locker room.
Quite a way to start a movie, also, quite effective. We’re lulled in a false sense of joy and happiness and then BAM the girls turn mean and all hell breaks loose.
3. Susan Sarandon & Catherine Deneuve in The Hunger
I’m just sorry this scene wasn’t a threesome between David Bowie, Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve. I could have died happy after that.
2. Drew Barrymore in Doppelganger: The Evil Within
Drew Barrymore has led a strange life. A true chameleon, before Drew was the sexy dork who ruled rom coms she was a successful child actor, as well as a bad girl. In Doppelganger we get to see Drew’s marvelous boobs and it’s quite a sight.
1. Alyssa Milano in Embrace of the Vampire
Alyssa Milano successfully shed her Who’s The Boss? child persona when she starred as the sexy ingenue in Embrace of the Vampire.
Bonus: Linnea Quigley in The Return of the Living Dead
Linnea Quigley appeared nude in more horror movies that I can count, but it was her role as a punk named Trash in The Return of the Living Dead where she does a striptease in a cemetery that earned her the title of scream queen.
Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd
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Friday, October 30, 2015
Maybe Love Isn’t So Powerful, After All?
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Sex News: Lisa Ann, Sex Slave Ring Busted, & Sperm Bank Porn
In 2013, Lisa Ann was hosting a popular Sirius XM radio program, “Stripper Town,” a show that recounted the best and worst experiences of exotic dancers and their customers. However, she wanted to transition to sports radio, her love affair with sports beginning as early as adolescence when she’d watch Tom Landry’s Cowboys with her dad, and each year she estimates she attends as many as 50 games. Ann gained widespread fame five years earlier when “Who’s Naylin Paylin?” — a porn parody of former Alaska governor and vice president nominee Sarah Palin — was released on the same day as the 2008 presidential election. It’s hilarious and somehow managed to perfectly blend the absurdity of American politics with hardcore sex. Immediately it became the best-selling video of the year and Ann, who played Palin, became an international icon.
Fantasy sports with a fantasy woman, makes sense.
- FBI Uncovers National Sex Dungeon Ring (The Daily Beast)
Currence believed he would soon purchase the women from the agents, who posed as human traffickers. The creep previously told the agents that he wanted a “housekeeper with benefits” who would “take care of things, clean the house, take care of me,” court records reveal.
“These slaves will never leave,” Currence said. “I’m not looking for love, they’re just going to be in here and they are going to be serving.”
But Currence wouldn’t be the one doing the shackling. Instead, the feds cuffed him two months later when he traveled to Arizona to buy two women at what he believed was a slave auction.
Seven years in prison is not long enough.
Teresa Randolph, the cheery owner of New York Fertility Services—which is not a sperm bank, but has a sperm collection room for their fertility procedures—told me about the grey legalities involved in procuring pornography for a sperm bank.
“Obviously, you have to stock the collection room with pornographic material, because men need inspiration,” she said. “So you have to go to a porn shop to buy these materials. [We don’t ask] employees to buy porn, because that might be considered sexual harassment. My husband and I own the practice, so we do it ourselves.”
Apparently diversity is key and you also don’t want the sperm donors taking too long so something that will get the job done nice and quick is a good bet.
Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd
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Thursday, October 29, 2015
GIF Day: Stoya Gets You Through The Week
I feel like Stoya fervor has somewhat died down over the last year or so, but that doesn’t mean she still isn’t out there doing her thing with the same kind of dedication as she always as. All you have to do is google her name to find the latest intellectually perverse article she’s written or the latest unabashedly erotic porn she’s starred in.
No longer a Digital Playground contract star, Stoya’s latest endeavor is a pay-per-view porn site called TrenchcoatX.com where Stoya and bestie Kayden Kross curate amazing porn for your viewing pleasure. These two have some of the best talent working for them behind the camera and in front of the camera. It’s porn like you’ve never seen it before!
Stoya will always be one of my favorite pornstars, because not only is she drop dead gorgeous, but she has some of the best facial expressions I’ve ever seen on anyone while they are getting rammed deep and hard.
20.
Could she look happier? I don’t think so. Getting your ass eaten out by your best friend’s gorgeous fiance and baby daddy is what I call a pretty awesome day at work.
19.
Pure fucking joy.
18.
Baby knows how to back up that truck.
17.
Nice bouncing action. Sure, the jiggling action would be tenfold if Stoya had big fake tits, but I’m happy she declined DP’s offer to get breast implants, twice.
Stoya is perfect as she is.
16.
I miss her long red hair. It was quite fetching.
15.
Long live Stoya and James the best porn couple evah. R.I.P.
14.
Yes.
13.
Goddamn, she’s so pale.
12.
I’ve been looking at this one for the last five minutes. That is all.
11.
Love at porn first sight.
10.
You know you’ve met your best friend when she can eat you out and it’s not weird.
9.
Sucking cock does wonders for Stoya’s cheekbones.
8.
So pale and so wonderful.
7.
Is that a wedding dress?
6.
Je suce.
5.
My fave position.
4.
Look at that face.
3.
Such nice… teeth.
2.
Gorgeous.
1.
The best, forever and always.
Check out this video of Stoya courtesy of Pornhub:
Via bing.com/images – Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd
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Throw Back Thursday Nudity Edition: Elsa Hosk (2014)
A year totally counts as a Throw Back Thursday. Totally. And if you don’t agree, too bad, because I’m the one that decides these things and I’ve decided this photoshoot of Elsa Hosk is too damn gorgeous to pass up. if it don’t fit, keep trying.
Sometimes you got make things work even if they don’t fit at first. Do you think pornstars are born with assholes that can take 9 inch cocks on demand? Hell no. They have to practice, they have to warm up. They have to use a little imagination and some lube.
I’ve lost my point, somewhere in there… when I tried to turn anal into an analogy for something or other… but that doesn’t matter. I’m just trying to spout out enough nonsense to entertain you Peepz long enough to get you to stay and fap it to our content, because content is king and being king is what we all want.
You might as well call me ruler of the Internet and with my new found power as ruler of the Internet my first decree is naming Elsa Hosk my Internet Queen. Now, the only thing she needs to do as my new Internet Queen is let photographers take lots of naked pictures of her, preferably on a beach somewhere, and then let us post said pictures on the Internet where we can look at them as much as we want.
In exchange Elsa gets a hefty paycheck and a symbolic crown. I think it’s fair.
Click on images below for larger versions:
Image: Elsa Hosk in GQ Romania June/July 2014 by Dennis Leupold & Steven Gomillion
Via itr2010.org – Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd
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Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Pornstar Writers
Every November, I slip into a deep, dark hole that I like to call National Novel Writing Month. It’s a bit of self-imposed torture where you force yourself to write 50,000 words (which technically isn’t even a whole novel, it’s a novella) in 30 days.
It’s completely crazy, but it’s kind of soul cleansing and it’s the only way I’ve found to get my thoughts together and pour them out onto a page in an order that sort of makes sense.
Two years ago, I wrote a book about a woman who liked fucking in changing rooms. Last year, I wrote a semi-autobiographical story about how I pulled a super man with my job as an Accountant and amateur porn pervert…
This year I’m totally switching it up and writing a bit of horror porn…because I don’t think enough of that exists. Also because I love fucking and I love being scared, so I kind of figure that mixing the two will only lead to fantastic orgasms during my writing breaks.
There are plenty of books that are written by adult stars. Some are really really good, some are not really all that awesome, but I still have to give credit to those who stick it out for long enough to write a book, get it edited, and have someone publish it.
I always end up stuck after the first part of that trifecta.
When Sasha Grey wrote her book The Juliette Society, I wasn’t really impressed. The story was kind of an Eyes Wide Shut type of situation with lots of orgies…but the thing that sticks with me two years after my initial read, was that she decided that writing, “come,” was less offensive and more grammatically correct then writing, “cum.” I know, I know…cum isn’t technically a word. But in my world, it is and it bugs me out when people don’t embrace it.
Asa Akira seems like she’d be a blast to hang out with. She has a quirky sense of humor, which is why I liked her book Insatiable: Porn—A Love Story, so much. She really loves her life and is able to blend her on-screen and off-screen personas into awesomeness. Here’s a clip of her getting her buthole worked by the tongue of Christy Mack.
My absolute favorite porn star book is written by Ashley Blue, AKA Oriana Small, and it’s called Girlvert. Honestly, I was not a fan of the Girlvert porn series, but after reading her book, I had a whole lot of respect for the author. Her persona was the epitome of filthy, dirty, raw sexuality…and it was just one sliver of the whole person that she is. I loved this book because it made me honestly think about life in the Industry and the sex that I love watching.
So Peepz, which pornstar’s story would you like to read? Do you think that you enjoy porno more when you get to know the people that you’re watching?
Let me know in the comments…and wish me luck with my novel!
Image: Asa Akira and Keiran Lee in Asa’s Titty Hair Salon by Brazzers
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Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Titty Tuesday: The Return Of Eva Green’s Tremendous Boobs
I think we can all agree that Eva Green has an amazing pair of tits. They’re a great size and shape, but above all, they appear to have the perfect amount of give. You know what I mean, when squeezed they’re not too hard nor too soft, but just right. The kind of boobs you’d want to handle all day long and well into the night.
Come to think of it, I don’t know how Eva Green gets anything done. If I were her, I’d constantly be squeezing my own boobs. In fact, I feel like taking a break from all this typing to squeeze my own boobs right now. They also have that amazing not-too-hard and not-too-soft squishiness about them.
Taking a break sounds like a good idea, because for the last few days I’ve felt especially horny. The kind of low grade arousal that would result in permanent half-chub, but since I’m a girl it just feels like my clit has swelled up to the size of a small grape. I need some relief and these pictures of Eva Green aren’t helping.
All together now, we should all quit whatever it is we’re doing and watch The Dreamers together with our hands down the front of our pants, because it is without a doubt one of the sexiest movies that was ever made:
And we should all be thankful that Eva Green isn’t shy when it comes to showing off her amazing body. She has this fierce vulnerability about her that results in an explosion of raw sexuality whenever Eva is on screen and I for one can’t get enough. I think it’s time I give Penny Dreadful a looksee.
Click on images below for larger versions:
Via bing.com/images – Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd
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