Earlier this week, One Million Moms launched a courageous campaign against one of the greatest social evils of our time: the Muppets.
The focus of the Christian advocacy group’s ire is The Muppets, the “perverted” new sitcom starring the puppet troupe created by the late Jim Henson, which premiered last night on ABC. (FYI: Fusion is partly owned by ABC.) On this mockumentary series, Kermit the Frog produces his now ex-girlfriend Miss Piggy’s late-night talk show.
The Muppets have always been sexy and kind of perverted. In the ’70s Alice Cooper got Miss Piggy to sell her soul to the Devil. Sex idol Raquel Welch hit on Fozzie Bear calling him “very sexy” and “sexsational,” you know, right before they retired to her dressing room. Jim Henson had a dirty mind of all I’m saying and this new ABC reboot isn’t exactly threading on new ground.
- The Dark Origins of Conjugal Visits (Priceconomics)
The origin story of conjugal visits in America, however, is a chapter of American racism. In 1904, Parchman Penitentiary was a 19th century plantation recreated, with its black, convict labor force working in the prison’s cotton fields like slaves. Conjugal visits were a paternalistic, ad-hoc reward system. If black convicts worked hard, they got to have sex on Sunday.
Conjugal visits are a good policy, and they got their start in America for the worst possible reasons.
“You gotta understand that back in them days [n-words] were pretty simple creatures. Give ‘em pork, some greens, some cornbread, and some poontang every now and then and they would work for you.”
-Mississippi prison guard, as told to Dr. Columbus Hopper in the 1960s
Whoa, this shit is fucked up. Slavery was abolished, so let’s stick people in jail and make them work for us anyway. Throw them a conjugal visit once in a while and it will keep them from revolting. Gross. Ass. Shit.
How do you watch porn? Because it may change. Ela Darling, who co-founded a virtual reality porn company, spoke to Cosmopolitan about her company and it’s totally worth a read. Firstly because virtual reality porn!? Porn of the future?! I mean… people have sex with a hologram of her. You can have sex with a hologram. Did everyone else know that this is a thing? I thought holograms were only on the really expensive POGs. I feel like the streets are full of people jet packing and I just never noticed. You can buy different hologram packages for a completely different experience than regular porn. Just the idea of it is blowing my mind.
Translation: “Are you sure your thingy isn’t plugged in?” “What thingy?”
You need to know to know five things: 1.This all happened because of the pervs on Reddit. 2. She treated the first shot like a webcam show. 3. It’s for Peepz who have an Oculus Rift. 4. It was kind of difficult to price the damn things when people are so used to free porn. 5. It’s choose your own adventure.
Follow Lola Byrd on Twitter @misslolabyrd
The post Sex News: The Muppets, Conjugal Visits, & Hologram Sex appeared first on Peeperz.
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