Florida Man Caught Naked Driving

Sometimes fun and dangerous co-mingle in a way that soaks my undies and makes me feel like I’m more of a rebel than I actually am. Road head and finger banging sessions while operating a motor vehicle? Hella fun, but getting caught can mean that it’s the end of the line for your perfect score at the old, “Avoid Jail at all Costs” game that we all play every day.

Fast cars turn me on.

I don’t think that’s a particularly bold statement to make.

When I drove cross country with my Bad Ex From Texas, it was hand jobs and squirting orgasms the whole way. He had leather seats in his civic so we didn’t end up staining anything, but we were basically stepping in cumshots when our feet touched the floor mats.

Kind of sexy, kind of dirty…just like I like it.

A Florida man named Noe DeJesus was taken into custody on December 5th when he was caught speeding down the strip of road they call Alligator Alley. The cop clocked him going 109 mph, and when DeJesus drunkenly stumbled out of the car, he was naked.

Oh, and there were three women in the car with him.

Was it party time for DeJesus? One of the ladies says, “Oh hell no,” and told authorities that she was too intimidated by the man to call the cops herself.

When he stumbled out of the car in his birthday suit, the officer said that DeJesus smelled of alcohol. There were also a few empty beer bottles and a bottle of Crown Royal that was nearly finished in the car.

So…Don’t drink and drive, Peepz. That should be fairly obvious. In a world where Uber exists and taxi cabs are everywhere…there is always a way home that doesn’t involve you driving naked with open containers in your car while you have three frightened passengers.

Especially if you decide that 110 miles per hour is a safe speed to be traveling while you’re intoxicated.

It’s not rocket science…for realzies.

Just because I know your boners are raging for release, here’s a PornHub clip featuring Hot Sex in Fast Cars not driven by anyone who is intoxicated.

Source: NBC New York

Image: Lolly Ink in Jacking The Jacker by Brazzers

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